what does it mean when he says he doesn't want to break up but he is not sure if he loves you anymore?
198 Answers
Last Updated: 06/15/2022 at 2:58pm
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Brenda King, PsyD
Psychologist
I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 29th, 2018 7:01pm
In my experience, it means they are not quite sure of their feelings and need time to figure out what they really want. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't love you though. These types of situations can be very hard to deal with and can leave the partner feeling very confused, but it's important to remember that these people are confused themselves. They are not doing this to hurt you, rather they just want to make sure you're aware ahead of time if something happens. Usually, these people just need support and to know someone is there for them.
(believe my words, i told that before to a girl) he is unsure about his situation. he attached to you and its hard for him to just end everything, but he thinks this relation is not going to be as fine as he thought. you know, the feelings disappear after a while and that's when brain leads. this is a unstable situation dont do anything which is harmful for you just to keep him. if he wants to stay he will. if no, he will not. deal with it and don't panic thats all. life still goes and trust me everything will be fine after couple months
He means that he feels confused about this relationship and isn't sure what to do. He still loves you as he cares about you because he didn't want to break your heart by breaking up with you.
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2017 3:49am
Has something in your lives changed recently? Is he able to pinpoint it? If he is having doubts it might be best for you to try seeing other people so that you could both figure out what you want. Breaking up with someone you loved and might still love is very difficult and scary but if you both really love each other you will find your way back to each other. I think what he means is that he is confused, it is a good sign of your relationship that he feels comfortable enough to share his feelings with you. I would try asking him what he means by he's not sure that he still loves you. He is probably the only one who can actually clarify his meaning.
Choose to leave. It is hurtful but when someone has their doubt, then it means he doesn't love you enough to want to fix things. People do fall out of love but they always find ways to fall back in love with their partners. There is no point keeping someone who doesn't love you or make the effort to fall back in love with you. Dragging a relationship that way will just make matter worse.
I'm not sure. Obviously this is different for different people. It's very possible he does not want to end the relationship because he might still have feelings for you.
Also, another possibility is that he wants to be able to be free of you but still have you be attached to him in case he wants you back, but still have access to other dates. This is not right.
Possibly you can see a relationship counselor, or get support in an online or in-person group.
Well, it sounds like he's confused if he still has feelings of love towards you, but he still either cares about you, sees value in your relationship, or is afraid of the upheaval that comes with a breakup. How do you feel? Does this relationship have value for you? Do you feel love for him?
Honestly, he most likely doesn't want to break up for comfort reasons. Humans find comfort in security, rather than delving into the unknown. He's acknowledging doubt in his feelings, and expressing that he's debated breaking up but has refused the idea of it.
It's safe to assume that if love isn't making him stay, then something else is, whether it be comfort, connection, security, or a variety of other things you have to offer that he may not find anywhere else.
In my opinion, everyone deserves to be with someone who loves them or cares for them, regardless of what you may have to offer. Love should be the motivating factor here, and you are worth it!
Human emotions are not like a digital clock or cannot be described in binary code of yes or no. He may not want to break up in the hope of recovering and resuming his emotions for you.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2018 11:02pm
It means that he is confused about the fact that he doesn't know if he loves you but doesn't want to loose you.
He probably just needs some time to think things through. He could be quite unsure about his own feelings, but he is sure that he still wants you in his life.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 7:04pm
Only he can truly understand what he means. But if he doesn't love you, why stay in a relationship with him? It seems pointless.
It may mean that he is trying to take some time with you to make sure that he is not really in love with you or maybe, he may think that his feeling of uncertainty for you is just temporary.
It means that he is unsure of his feeling for you, but there are still some there. He still has friendly feelings, but maybe not romantic feelings. If he doesn't want to break up with you but doesn't feel like he loves you anymore, it could also mean that he really cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 9:18am
It means for you to go on a break , you both need to see how much you cannot live without eachother
Anonymous
March 30th, 2018 1:02pm
Ahh well he is scared he will be alone.. So he is just tryna keep you there. It's a common issue in relationships. If he says he doesn't love you just leave him. There's no reason to force a relationship cause he is just staying with you.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 8:44pm
because he might be interested into something else or is too busy to think about it. you will have to keep talking to him no matter what
Ask him to very clear with what the feeling is by giving him some time.By that time, i would like to tell you to be very strong and you should be ready to accept whatever he comes up with
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 5:53am
It means that he doesn't want to break your heart or hirt ypur feelings, but he doesn't love ypu the way maybe you love him? I've been in this situation before when I suddenly didn't feel like I love my "gf" but I told her that and maybe the best thing was that I should have broke up with her even tho she might have been hurt because you don't deserve to be with a person who can't love you also he might just now see you as a really good friend and doesn't want to lose you? But in all honesty, I would recommend breaking up instead of staying in a relationship where you know that you wouldn't get necessarily loved the way you might be loving him...
It means that he doesn't want to be alone and doesn't want to hurt you, but it probably isn't the relationship you're looking for. You deserve someone who has no doubts about their love for you.
For a man to say that aloud, it has real validity. It is partly intended (unconsciously or not) to keep you in the position of trying to "earn" their love.
Knowing you are worthy of love (and have value outside of who your boyfriend thinks you are) will shift your perspective on this. You haven't done anything wrong. It isn't your fault.
Sometimes people just aren't right for each other. When it is, you'll *both* know.
It is simply just mean he is lost and not being able to know what he truly wants. The reason he doesn't want a break up is because of his inner fear for many reason, eg. fear of not finding someone with qualities like you, fear of being alone, fear of being lost and etc. However, he is acknowledging the fact that his feelings for you were not as strong as before and that again leads back to he is unsure of whether you are what he wants. he is just a confused person of not knowing his needs and wants.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2020 8:29pm
He may just has fun with you,you make him feel good and doesn't want to lose what you guys have give him time timming means everything everyone needs space and time to think if after all this time he is sure he feels nothing for you let him go it is not good for you to be in a relationship and not being loved back in a relationship two people must feel the same but thank him for being honest because most people dont admit it and keep hurting others so all you have to do is to thank him for his honesty
Anonymous
April 9th, 2020 3:53pm
Hw may be confused as to how he feels and may need time to figure it out. However, in the end it is up to you to decide if you want to stay and try and work through it together or if you want to give him space to work through it alone without distractions. You need to try and think about what will be better and healthier for you to cope with and maybe accept. You don't want to be used or anything, so you need to try and think with your head and not your heart. Who knows he may just need some time to think for himself and he may realize it's you he needs in his life.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2020 6:37am
We can't assume things based on that statement.
He might consider your relationship really important because he doesn't want to break it up, but he might not be sure if it's leading somewhere.
Sometimes we have invested some time in a relationship, and we appreciate more the relationship rather than the person itself.
What's more important is to consider your feelings first. How are you feeling right now? How does this statement make you feel? How do you feel about him?
Then you can also consider your position in that person's life, and ask him what does exactly means to him what that statement means. You can also talk to him to understand the next steps he wants to take in the relationship.
It's important to realize that you must be strong and true to yourself. Listen to your feelings.
This isn't a good thing. I would ask him this:
If you don't know you love me why are you staying in this relationship?
Have you found interest in someone else?
or Have you already started a relationship on the side and feel bad so now you want to "sort-of" breakup?
Do not let him confuse you and talk around the bush. Be firm on getting the information out of him whether its just uncertainty or cheating. Do not set yourself up for heartbreak. I hope this helps you determine your next plan of action and hopefully you can get your relationship back on track.
That can be tricky because he is not sure of himself and isnt willling to let go of an already insecure situation. Its very difficult to move forwards because its into the unknown and feels safer to stay in the relationship even if its a little dodgy and unloving. So many people make this mistake and time and time again stay in an unhappy place with someone they barley speak to or want to be with because its the easy option. Ask for help with the relationship form outside sometimes others can see where you are going wrong and isnt so personal.
It means he is not sure about the relationship. He is having doubts about you. He doesn’t want to break up out of fear that he might regret it but he doesn’t feel the butterflies anymore or at least not as much.
He is okay with still being with you because he got used to you and he is not sure about breaking up or he lacks the courage to break up.
He might also have something to gain or have other girls around that is why he is unsure. When he will meet someone else, he will break up with you really quickly or keep you as the side girl. Of course, chances are he just doesn’t feel that strongly for you and that’s the only issue and you might be able to mend the relationship. Is it worth it? It is up to you to decide!
I don't want to break up with you but i don't love you again! That is a dreaded statement. It brings up so many other questions of what went wrong? When did it go wrong? Why didn't I notice this in time? Could I have done something to make you keep loving me? Where do we go from here? Does this mean we continue the relationship and I shouldn't expect love from you? Infact are you telling me it's my choice to either break up with you or stay in a loveless relationship? It takes a while to recover.
It means you should get out of there. You deserve someone who is sure and who wants to be with you more than anything. You don't deserve to be a side dish or a second chance or a commodity. You deserve to be a priority and you deserve someone who treats you with respect and recognizes and gives you the value you have.
Don't leave the decision of your life in the hands of others, no matter how much you love them. If he isn't sure if he loves you anymore, ok, he can take his time to think about it. But you NEVER have or should tolerate to be with someone in those conditions.
It is only attachment not love. This kind of people doesn't love you. There is only a bonding between you
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