Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do I always say things I don't mean?

169 Answers
Last Updated: 03/11/2022 at 6:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
November 8th, 2017 6:50pm
When faced with a hard situation where a decision has to be made, normally people tend to say or do the first thing that comes to their mind. Most of the times, it's not even what people mean, but they said or did that in a spontanuous way. In my opinion, before you say anything, you should take a step back, take a deep breath and think about the whole situation and about your possible responses. Have always in mind that your words and actions can effect other people.
November 10th, 2017 5:55am
Because in the heat of the moment, my mind is telling me that those things are true. It is when things calm down and I reflect on what was said, that I realize I said things that I didn't mean.
November 19th, 2017 1:47pm
We all need to communicate openly and more honestly. Saying things we don't actually mean is a great way to do that. It shows that we're not hiding anything from them and care enough to not make them feel good just temporarily.
November 22nd, 2017 2:53am
Sometimes people say things in the spur of a moment. I think this mainly is a reflection of how you’re feeling in that given moment, and when you’re feelings change afterwards, this gives you opportunity to reflect on what you have said, and this is where you may have come to the conclusion that you’ve said something you didn’t mean. You may find it helpful to have something to prompt you before you speak and rethink what you’re going to say, or when you’re feelingn a certain way, could you remove yourself from that situation to see if that helps?
December 10th, 2017 7:18am
sometimes or usually most of the times most people have millions in their minds, whether it is financial issues, or over thinking in general, their mind is currently focusing on those thoughts and not what is happening in reality, it is actually losing in-touch with reality but not as severely as the people with bipolar or BPD experience, their case is quite different. To summarize it all in short, Your mind focuses on those thoughts that disturb you in the moment and tend to work on these thoughts, so when it comes to reality you don't focus on what you are saying which results in you saying things you don't mean.
December 31st, 2017 8:51am
That happens when you react on situations where your emotions overpower your mindset. You won't be able to think straight when you're emotional. Decisions or any kind of reactions made in such times won't be wise
January 24th, 2018 3:36am
Maybe you don't feel comfortable expressing true emotions. It's hard to be vulnerable in front of people. Just take it little by little and start saying what you really feel!
February 28th, 2018 8:18am
There are many reason which could be medical so it might be worth mentioning this to your doctor. As long as you are cleared by them having conversations can be emotionally overwhelming especially for those with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. Sometimes we try to sound like someone we are not to impress others or we may just be nervous and not want to say the wrong thing. Other times our minds are so full that we just blurt things out. Just remember, you are judging yourself more than the listener and take a moment to think before you respond.
March 8th, 2018 1:01pm
Mostly just because I overreacted and I didn't think it through. I think to prevent this happening, we should always make sure to think before we speak and if we do say something we don’t mean, I think we should apologize and make things clear ♥️
March 29th, 2018 3:10am
Maybe you are not allowing yourself to think before you speak? Slow down, really consider the question or statement at hand, and respond with a well thought out answer.
April 4th, 2018 1:19pm
It is because , you might always get irrelevant questions which you have never thought about or if you say some thing which you never mean , simply sates that you are hiding something or it can also state that you might be emotionally disturb but which one is best suitable for you , only you can define. note all your emotions when you say something like you don't mean and observe your emotions and write it down . i am sure it will be helpful to you to analyze the problem. thank you.
April 7th, 2018 12:39am
I think everyone does. If you feel angry or upset, and are in the middle of an argument or an intense moment, built up emotions can cause your adrenalin to take over your thoughts. This could make you speak without thinking.
April 20th, 2018 4:31am
Sometimes people react quickly and aggressively as a defense mechanism. Sometimes we say things that are hurtful and not true. And we project our insecurities onto others
May 10th, 2018 3:58am
Because we are afraid of being honest with ourselves, we say things we don't mean over anger,shyness, scared of showing your truth self
May 18th, 2018 11:24am
well, sometimes i know i say things i dont mean because i dont want to admit the truth. is there anything you are hiding from?
May 20th, 2018 4:32pm
This could be because when in the heat of the moment people tend to say things they do not mean. If this is the case take 10 seconds to think about what you are going to say before saying it. If you feel like you are going to do something you regret it is okay to walk away from these situations to prevent this.
May 23rd, 2018 4:20am
Anyone does sometimes. Not being impulsive helps a lot. Think over what you want to express before you say it. When we are under stress and panick our brain doesn’t react properly and we just say stuff to defend ourselves and try to get as less damage as possible, but those words won’t be exactly what we think indeed. Take your time!
May 23rd, 2018 4:38am
Sometimes people say things they dont mean out of anger or just being unhappy with themselves. Sometimes people dont think about what they say before they speak and it can lead to hurtful words being said.
May 31st, 2018 4:54pm
It is very easy to do this as people can say things instinctively and can speak while under the influence of emotions
June 24th, 2018 9:30am
When we are at the height of emotion, we sometimes say things even if we don't mean them. When you feel this way, take deep breaths and think of what you mean to say. This will help prevent misunderstandings or making things worse.
June 27th, 2018 1:50am
I think I say things I don’t mean because my anger takes control and I say things to hurt and not feel it.
June 28th, 2018 11:38am
I would recommend taking just a little time before you say something to make sure it’s exactly what you want to say. When this happens to me, the reason is usually because I answer too quickly or without thinking.
June 28th, 2018 6:48pm
I have no idea why I say hurtful things to my partner when I don’t even mean them
July 7th, 2018 7:07am
Sometimes we tend to say things we don't really mean because we are hurt, angry,upset or just don't know how to respond.
July 12th, 2018 1:40pm
Sometimes we do not think before we speak because of how pressured we feel or because we feel we HAVE to answer. Sometimes we might not know the answer. And that's okay. Just try thinking of something that seems convincing to you before saying it.
July 25th, 2018 5:07am
Because I don’t think I can get just so upset mad heartbroken in love I just don’t think I go for it I say it it puts less pressure on me when I’m feelings soemthing I don’t think to myself is this going to effect me worst in the future I just say it without thinking of the consequences
July 25th, 2018 10:07am
Sometimes when we are emotional we say things that aren't true or that we don't mean in a moment of rage or under extreme emotional stress.
July 28th, 2018 6:17pm
In the moment, my emotions get in the way and add to the mix. The result is blurting something I don’t mean.
August 1st, 2018 4:25am
Saying things you don’t mean is often a nervous tick. Many people do it, and it usually has something to do with the fact that humans aren’t perfect.
November 17th, 2018 8:17am
Sometimes, our mouths can work faster that’s our brains, but that’s okay. Things can take time. Just practice by listening to a question. Before thinking about how others may feel by your response. Then think of something to say. Remember, what you say can affect someone so make sure that it is something positive rather than negative. But sometimes it is also better to be honest than to lie about things. It can help them improve and be a better version of themselves. Just make sure that you say it in a nice way, instead of a harsh answer to them.