I don't know if you're anything like me, but if you are, here are a couple of possibilities:
1) You're sort of a hot mess when it comes to your self-esteem. Especially at the start of a relationship, when you're completely lovestruck and think the other person hung the moon, you start to worry if you're good enough, if you're worthy of that perfect person, if you deserve to be loved. Sometimes I get so discouraged when I meet a cool person who seems to have it all figured out; they've got a job and a car and they're mentally stable and they have interesting hobbies and supportive friends. And here I am, eating dry cereal out of the box because I bought raspberry lemonade instead of milk. I don't want that person to get close enough to see what a mess I really am--that's a mix of pride and stubbornness and shame. And I don't want to be a burden on them. So I back away from the relationship.
2) You have no clue what you're doing, maybe because you don't really know what a healthy relationship looks like. My family didn't really model healthy relationships for me, and my first experiments in romance ended in disaster. When I look back on my history, it can be really discouraging.
3) That person isn't the right one for you. Sometimes your body/mind/intuition/gut are trying to send you a message. Not every relationship fails because you have low self-esteem and your parents divorced when you were a kid. Some people just aren't meant to be together.
Did you find this post helpful?
April 29th, 2016 2:59pm
I freak out in relationships so easily becauseI'm scared I might hurt the person I love I don't want to
Relationships can be tricky and can make a person go crazy, You could care about the person to much, and want them all to yourself all the time, or you could not care about them enough and maybe need to let them go. Sometimes people just arent cut out for relationships until they can further develope their own personality.
Reasons I tend to freak in relationships..
1) I'm afraid to make mistakes
2) I'm nervous that they'll stop liking me
3) I don't know if I'm ready to commit to more
4) I have high anxiety an stress to much over everything
When we are in love we expect most things to be just fine or beyond perfect. We even wanted to do the things we see in romantic movies. But when things get rough we started to get panic. You know why? it is because we are afraid of failures, we are afraid to get hurt, we are not ready to lose that someone and most specially get betrayed. When we commit in a relationship we give it all and the fact that there is no guarantee that it will work out fine at the end of course it freaks us out but i guess its just part of being in a relationship. Being in a relationship is also just like a BET. We don't know if we're going to lose or win.
Getting emotionally close to someone can be hard, but it is impossible to do if you are not fully comfortable with yourself. When one is true and genuine it will attract the same in return. Bettering ourselves every day and remaining consistent in how we handle our insecurities with our significant others.
I guess we freak out in relationships so easily because its so valuable to us. We try our absolute best not to mess up, just not to lose it. But the process of trying our absolute best not to mess up, can often lead us to have more anxiety. Freaking out on every single detail like why did he just answer with a fine, is he angry with me. I guess we just have a little more faith that our boyfriend's love for us. Also if you girlfriend freaks out easily like me, take it postively that she loves you so much that she is worried to upset you. Understanding like this would lead to middle ground and a happy relationship!
Did you find this post helpful?
July 30th, 2016 12:22pm
You're scared of making an mistake and you don't want to do anything wrong, so that causes you to react in such a way.
It could be from so many things...only from searching inside yourself can you know what the answer is. It could be anything from feeling trapped in relationships and needing to escape, to freaking out that the person will abandon you and needing to cling on. Or anything in between! Just look inside yourself for the answer, and try to trust your partner!
Maybe you freak out in relationships so easily, because your scared to trust your significant other. sometimes making the jump to being with one other can be hard, and trust is one of the main key concepts. learning to trust in one another can be hard and challenging sometimes. but it is totally worth it.
Relationships can be overwhelming sometimes. We have a lot of expectations, hopes, wishes. We're anxious about people getting too close, about getting hurt. Sometimes the anxiety has a good reason, sometimes not so much. It's important to take a moment and reflect on it, but not to overthink.
It could be your lack of experience, racing thoughts and... the most terrifying of all- Expectations. It could be yours, that of your partner or your assumption of what your partner's expectation might be.
There can be a lot of reasons as to why we react this way especially when we are faced with something that requires commitment and intimacy from us. From my experience, it was often something that i traced back to my childhood. Look deeper inside of you and ask yourself little questions - What exactly is it that I'm afraid of? Why do I feel threatened to trust this person? Am I willing to share a little about myself in the hopes that this person will not judge and/or reject me? Sometimes it helps too, to reflect on how the persons closest to us when we were children have treated us back then until we got older.
Does it mean relationships as with friends or lovers? It sort of depends on many factors but most is because you might feel a bit insecure around yourself so you are really afraid that you are going to lose them. At least that is the problem with me. The way I solved this problem to myself was that I openly talked to the people that I felt this way around them, and together we came up to conclusion that I should really be quiet and they showed me some more attention that I probably lacked or I just didn't notice it because I was too scared I was going to lose them.
But after all, that's what worked for me, we are all separate individuals. ♥
Freaking out in relationships is particularly common, much more common than people think! You're learning so much about another person and in turn they're learning just as much about you. The important thing is to communicate any worries or issues you have with your partner. My girlfriend and I always try and talk issues through before they actually become harmful. It's worth saying though that it doesn't always work and you will encounter things that are difficult to deal with, but when you face these things the best thing to do is power through and don't stop.
Did you find this post helpful?
April 10th, 2016 9:51am
There might be a lot of stress working on you from previous relationships. Did anything go wrong with your relationships in the past? Is this your first relationship? You might just be nervous.