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Why do I freak out in relationships so easily?

200 Answers
Last Updated: 10/08/2021 at 2:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Johanna Liasides, MSc


I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.

Top Rated Answers
September 1st, 2016 8:40pm
It might be jealousy or insecurity. As long as there is trust in a relationship these should not represent a problem because couple would discuss the issues and work on improving them. Just be open with your partner.
September 2nd, 2016 4:53pm
I can only answer this based on personal experiences. Because maybe you think that its too good a relationship for you, that it might become something you really start to want and need and that you might screw things up, at which point the other person will/wont be able to walk away, whilst you'll be left in pieces.
September 3rd, 2016 9:03am
Relationships can be tricky and can make a person go crazy, You could care about the person to much, and want them all to yourself all the time, or you could not care about them enough and maybe need to let them go. Sometimes people just arent cut out for relationships until they can further develope their own personality.
September 4th, 2016 6:46am
Maybe you feel unsure of yourself or your feelings and emotions and aren't ready to face them write down how you feel and the triggers to those challenges
September 9th, 2016 9:13pm
Committing to another individual can be intimidating but also very rewarding. Taking things slow might be easier than jumping into a serious relationship right away.
September 14th, 2016 7:08am
I freak out because I don't feel secure about myself. And so I watch myself and judge myself and think that I am doing wrong and bring myself to a freak out point.
September 15th, 2016 9:32am
If you've been through a lot, in previous relationships that might be the reason why. Your guard is up, and you think everyone is out to hurt you. Keep your head up, and take your time. It'll get better. You will realize that your partner isn't out to hurt you. 😊
September 23rd, 2016 10:56pm
There are numerous reasons. Perhaps you're not ready for commitment, have emotional baggage, unsaid fears, lack of communication, partner incompatibility, or just having an emotional week.
September 24th, 2016 12:55am
Perhaps you feel a little insecure or have anxiety. Try to let that go and have trust in partners ..
October 2nd, 2016 8:48pm
Afraid of getting hurt, afraid of hurting others. Fear of being alone. Past experiences have caused fear of rejection.
October 7th, 2016 3:52am
Either because you don't have any other place to focus ,so you are constantly thinking again and again about the relationship.....or, you have adverse work conditions ,like bad social life at work ..... No matter what the case ,it can easily be corrected
October 15th, 2016 11:39am
Relationships are scary, especially if it's been a little while since you've been in a relationship. Love, affection, change, giving attention is different and change is difficult. Plus we don't want rejection or negativity or drama in relationships
October 23rd, 2016 2:06pm
Sometimes you are not ready to be committed to someone. That's ok, give it time and have patience. Don't rush it
October 29th, 2016 3:24pm
Insecurity and low self-limit can cause silly issues or not getting the text you want, when you want it, can cause freak outs over nothing. Its time to work on yourself!
November 11th, 2016 1:25pm
Perhaps you are just overwhelmed by different factors in the relationship. It could be the lack of control you have sharing your life with someone else or it could be just out of the norm for your own self. Regardless I think it's normal to be a little frazzled in a relationship
December 10th, 2016 12:22am
This is a hard question as there could be more than one answer. The reason could be due to fear, or because of past experience or anxiety. All of these need support, it would be an idea to seek support form a listener to discuss these problems further, or a therapist for more urgent problems.
December 17th, 2016 7:44am
It could be the trauma of a failed past relationship that is affecting you. It could also be the fear of commitment, relationships, proper ones, really involve you revealing your true self to someone else and if you care about that person the fear that they may reject some part of you can be paralyzing.
February 5th, 2017 8:11pm
Relationships are scary! It could be commitment, it could be time, energy or even just feeling stuck with one person! Everyone finds relationships difficult for different reasons. Taking a relationship at your own pace, that keeps you comfortable while communicating well with your partner can prevent the 'freak out' feeling!
February 19th, 2017 12:42pm
Beginning a new relationship is not easy. You want to please the other person but sometimes doing that gives you the impression that you are loosing bits of yourself. We all are complicated beings and adjust to someone else needs work. If you think this someone is worth it, try to understand what makes you freak out and what you can do to ease this sensation.
March 8th, 2017 9:47pm
You're probably just scared, those things are normal and everyone gets those gitters all the time. It's okay to feel that way, but eventually you want to get comfortable with the idea of being with someone past the friendship mode. You'll be okay though.
April 1st, 2017 4:26pm
Maybe you hold an attachment early on to this person, hopes and expectations alike, when they break this ideal image you had of them, it can in turn lead you to panic because it isn't what you expected of them. Best to learn to lower your expectations of the other person and focus on the reality and what both can do for the relationship to grow and prosper.
April 14th, 2017 1:08am
You've been hurt before maybe, or you've seen or heard stories of others being hurt by relationships. You may be too afraid to be in a relationship because of the trust required, the sharing of so many personal details will spook some people. It just takes time to adjust to these things.
April 30th, 2017 4:59pm
A reason why someone could freak out in relationships may be because of past experiences or expectations.
May 19th, 2017 10:27pm
The reason why people freak out so easily I think is because they form attachments. Those attachments, can be very powerful, and of course if those attachments are broken they can be very painful. So they start becoming scared that those attachments will break, and try to do anything to stop that from happening. The emphasis on ANYTHING which a good portion of the times turn out to be the WRONG things. So not only does the fear of losing the relationship starts to happen, but the fear of doing the wrong things or saying the wrong things start to happen too...
June 4th, 2017 4:51pm
I guess that's the innocence which is letting you act like that. But also it's an effort so as to keep yourself away from making any hasty move or uneasy move. Also I feel may be you are bothered about the relationship. But it's normal and it meaqns you are trying to focus on a serious and Love relationship instead of lust and attraction based or temporary one.
July 31st, 2017 11:51pm
There are thousands of reasons, each relative to each person, no matter how small they may think it is. I've learnt from my past relationships that it was my own insecurity causing the constant anxiety and stress over the relationship, and I feared that a better, funnier, and more beautiful person would make it obvious my partner could have better. Attachment may play another role. Either you may be afraid to get attached, or you are already attached, and you are excessively worried about them leaving you, because your life feels dependent on them. Having been in that situation, I proceeded with caution in developing strong feelings and getting attached. This is internal to you. You can't change it until you start to accept and acknowledge or allow what you feel, to feel. I had to just let it be. After every break up, my heart will feel weaker, but in my mind, I know the entire process of a relationship is important, none of it should ever be forgotten, because when your heart breaks again, the experience you have had in the past and how the pain got better, doesn't weaken your heart because it strengthens it. When you are freaking out in a relationship, tell yourself you are not crazy because it is normal. However, to remind yourself that every freak out will eventually become the teaching tool in learning to become stable. It is somewhat calming when repeating that to yourself, and sometimes indirectly reduces the anxiety.
September 10th, 2017 5:26am
Because I have not completely healed from childhood trauma. Relationships can evoke the trauma in different situations and under present circumstances. This causes me to freak out as my response is visceral from unresolved and mosttimes unconscious or subsconscious issue
September 23rd, 2017 3:49pm
Commitment issues are very normal. And, it is okay to freak out. But you need to understand that it is very important to give it a shot to see where it goes. Take it slowly and steadily. Take small steps if required. You never know how it will be till the time you don't give it a shot.
October 8th, 2017 6:27pm
Relationships can be tricky and can make a person go crazy, You could care about the person to much, and want them all to yourself all the time, or you could not care about them enough and maybe need to let them go. Sometimes people just arent cut out for relationships until they can further develope their own personality.
October 19th, 2017 3:38pm
Maybe this is because you have been in a relationship in the past that has hurt you. It may have even be a friendship, or a family member. Someone in the past may have let you down and you are scared to let someone that close again in case that happens again. It is normal. But, what we need to realise is that not everyone is the same. Not everyone we meet is going to hurt us.