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What's the best way to get over loneliness?

214 Answers
Last Updated: 08/25/2020 at 9:48pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD


I have over 8 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
November 25th, 2014 4:38am
That's a really great question, and one I'm still figuring out for myself! As silly as it sounds, try to be your own best friend! I'm beginning to learn the difference between "being lonely" and "being alone" and that there are a million ways to take advantage of that. It's really hard when you feel that you don't have anyone there for you, or when you feel disconnected even when you DO have people around, and everyone feels loneliness differently and treats it differently as well, but I try to enjoy the time alone whenever possible. I read a book, I go for a walk, I buy an ice cream cone or watch a movie. When you strip away the fear of being alone, you can sometimes find that it isn't so bad after all. And when all else fails, pet a dog or come visit us as 7 Cups!
July 2nd, 2015 10:37pm
The healing agents for loneliness are awareness, acceptance, and compassion. Here’s how it works: Awareness: Choose to bring your awareness to your experience. Pay attention to how your body feels—the hollowness in your chest, the constriction in your throat, the heaviness of your body. If you feel the sadness well up within you, allow yourself to cry without restraint. Acceptance: Many people instinctively try to run from loneliness. Sometimes they try to hide from it by numbing themselves. They might sleep, watch TV, or play video games. Or, they might try to distract themselves with chores and activities. They keep busy and superficially engaged in life. But none of this really works—at least not for the long haul. The aching emptiness breaks through numbed bodies and mindless activity. Sometimes, people try to get rid of the pain by blaming themselves for it. They criticize themselves for being unworthy of others. They see all their flaws or mistakes and demean themselves for them. Frequently, their unconscious hope is that if they could identify what’s wrong with themselves and fix it, then they can make the pain go away. Or, if they can’t make it go away, they can at least make sense of it. But they only feel worse for their efforts. Instead, choose to stay with the feeling. Acknowledge your loneliness and choose to continue being aware of it. Compassion: Practice reminding yourself that others feel lonely, too. It is part of the human experience that most people share at some time or other. And just as you would show compassion for anyone else who suffers from being lonely, you also deserve this caring response. So, choose to see yourself with perspective—as you would see someone else—and tell yourself that it is sad that you feel so alone. If you have supportive others in your life, reach out to them. Take a deep breath, pick up the phone to text or call, and ask for support in whatever form you need it. Allowing yourself to truly connect with others will help you feel emotionally stronger and less alone. Strange as it might seem, there are benefits to loneliness, so you don’t necessarily want to be totally without it. By feeling lonely, you are able to understand and have compassion for others who feel similarly. Your loneliness can also be a crucial signal that your relationships are not as emotionally close, supportive, or engaging as you really want them to be. So it offers you a chance to identify this problem and make efforts to fix it. As you consider these ideas, keep this in mind: The person who you are right now is in pain, a very human kind of pain in which you feel different from all other people and yearn to feel connected. Just as it would be sad to see others struggle with this, it is sad that you feel this way. And just as you would naturally feel compassion for their pain, you deserve the same compassion. So accept and feel your loneliness. Then offer yourself compassion. Doing this will help to ease your pain, open you up to experiencing a sense of feeling connected, and help you to take the necessary steps to reach out to others.
July 1st, 2015 4:48pm
well the best way is to get some company . the more you're alone the more you will feel lonely , Just tag along with your best mates and have some fun.
December 25th, 2014 7:31pm
Loneliness is less about physically being around people and more about the amount of positive interactions one has on a daily basis. A great tool for gathering more positive interactions is by participating in community service. Whether you're scooping soup on Christmas day or reading to children in your local library, the odds are, someone will remind you of how important your existence is to them. Someone will remind you the reason you're alive. Someone will give you a reason for living.
November 25th, 2014 4:29am
The best way to get over loneliness is to surround yourself with positivity, stay occupied with a hobby you love or just simply find new interests :)
November 25th, 2014 12:57am
Try not to spend most of your time alone. If the nature of your work keeps you away from direct contact with people then try to do your best to see people on your weekends.
December 4th, 2014 12:00am
For me, trying to be of service to other people is the best way to get out of my own head. A wise person once said that the surest way to have a bad day is to spend it thinking only of yourself.
July 19th, 2015 1:11am
Actually there's no easy way to get over it but with time you kinda get used to it. Try to distract yourself with whatever makes you forget the feeling of loneliness like listening to music,drawing or whatever interests you as long as it's a healthy alternative.
July 30th, 2015 1:47am
I cannot control what other people say or do (sometimes I wish I could!). So, I have to look to what I can control...and, with loneliness, I have found that several things are within my control. First, I occasionally go out to dinner at a restaurant even though I'm dining alone because it will allow me to have some type of interaction. I also try to say hi to my neighbors and take my dog to the dog park because I interact with other dog owners there. For me, the best way to get over loneliness is to spend time with my animal...whether that's at home or out running errands. I'm never alone when Rocket is around! :P
December 7th, 2014 7:29pm
The best way to get over loneliness, from personal experience, is by distracting yourself. Whether it's by getting involved in clubs and activities or school or work, it's important to keep yourself busy.
March 15th, 2015 6:50am
The best way to get over loneliness is embracing it as part of the human condition. This does not mean accepting loneliness as an unescapable reality but a challenge to be overcome.
April 11th, 2015 6:11pm
Moving out to place with lot of noise can help. Else making friends is most efficient way of overtaking loneliness. Talking to strangers can also help.
July 22nd, 2015 6:23pm
Getting over loneliness is hard, you can be in a crowded room with the most wonderful people and yet feel lonely. An option might be to start out by just finding one person you can truly connect with. One person you dare be yourself with, one person you would like to get to know better. Often being lonely is not so much about being alone, but feeling no connection to anyone. I would say the best way to get over loneliness if by forging one meaningful connection first, and take it from there.
July 26th, 2015 1:38pm
Loneliness is like an enemy. You have to think of it as a person who is trying to get the better of you but you cannot let that happen. You have to fight back or else it will engulf you and it is very difficult to get out. In order to do this you have to surround yourself with the the people you love and/or the things you love to do. I find that this is the best support when you are on the battlefield with loneliness.
November 28th, 2014 10:18pm
Talk to people online because for some reason you feel more confident online and its especially good if their going through the same thing because you can help eachother and also gain friend making you less lonely
April 16th, 2015 4:43pm
Loneliness can be overwhelming because its often stubborn with a sense of misunderstood. We feel that no one understands us, no one loves us, no one cares about us. But the worst unrealized reason of all is that we don't love and care about ourselves and trick ourselves into exaggerating and miscalculate that its universal. There are always people who care about us. All we need to do is reach out for them.
April 22nd, 2015 2:45pm
Loneliness is as much an attitude as it is a reality, being open and friendly and feeling connected is immensely helpful, and these are all things which can be achieved through sheer mental control. This is why thinking-pattern changes such as CBT are effective with loneliness. Obviously, hanging out with good friends and chatting with strangers may help, but sometimes that is not possible, sometimes it may not be effective, and everyone must deal with alone time at some point.
June 18th, 2015 3:00am
Happiness comes from within, quieten your mind, speak to your inner being. Once you love yourself, your love will be shown to the rest of the world through your actions and thoughts. Be your own best friend, be the master of your emotions. Be at peace and loneliness will never enter your soul.
June 20th, 2015 1:25pm
Surround yourself with nothing but positive vibrations. Seek friendship with an open heart and a free mind. Sounds hippie-ish, but it's true. Once you open yourself up and look towards the right place, there's a great possibility that loneliness will be forever gone.
June 21st, 2015 8:10am
Socialization. I know that that is not a very unique answer and it might not even be what you want to hear but it really is the best cure. Or even just getting out of the house or your every day places that you go to and traveling to a different area. I experienced depression first hand and I tried everything I could to make it stop. I was not able to get completely out of it until I started actually going outside and socializing with people.
June 21st, 2015 6:45pm
i think that its hard just talk with others and get out more and just enjoy the sunsihine and and get some help you are really having ahrd time delaing with the loneliness
June 25th, 2015 5:32pm
Keeping busy, meet new people! don't sit alone feeling sad it will make it worse. Try just talking to someone you know you might be surprised what response you get from them
June 26th, 2015 2:28pm
Loneliness isn't something that you get over, it's an emotion. Think of it like a cup. When we are with people it fills up a little, and when we are alone it slowly empties. When we get lonely we have to refill it to feel better. Pets are a great way to fill up your cup, but so are friends and family. Reach out and connect with someone.
June 28th, 2015 7:19pm
Keep yourself occupied. Talk to friends or family. The less you think about it, the less loneliness will affect you. Interact. Interaction through community service for example is one way to keep yourself occupied and meet new individuals that can possibly impact your life like you impact theirs.
July 2nd, 2015 9:16am
Surround yourself with people or things you love! Do the things you love! Look on the positive things that life has to offer.
July 17th, 2015 8:12pm
spend time with someone probably friends or siblings, one who really cares for you , go out with parents, create some memories :)
July 18th, 2015 11:51am
By learning how to enjoy your own company. Because there will always be times when we are by ourselves. The best thing we can do for ourselves is take care of our needs and love ourselves. It goes such a long way in feeling less lonely in the world when you became your own source of love, comfort and validation.
July 19th, 2015 1:12am
I know what it's like to be lonely. A lot of people say to just go make new friends. I'm not the best at that so I know that advice is a bit faulty. The best way I have found, is to be your own best friend first. Go out and get some ice cream or watch movies. Find a hobby you love. It's all about making the most of what you have.
July 22nd, 2015 8:40am
the best way to get over loneliness in my opinion is to take baby steps, try to meet new people, talk on the internet, and why not even go to places with people that share your same interests? ヾ(´・ω・`) it's hard but you can do it! plus, you can always come talk to the peeps here at 7cups~
July 22nd, 2015 4:37pm
To meet people! Go out and just start conversations with people on the street, or perhaps join a class for a hobby you have. Anything to get you out and about!