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Why do I wake up thinking about my ex?

292 Answers
Last Updated: 01/06/2022 at 2:22pm
Why do I wake up thinking about my ex?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
June 10th, 2015 4:18pm
It's normal to still think about your ex, especially if you still love him/her. Even though you may not be IN love with them, but that love that you both once shared doesn't just disappear because the relationship ended.
May 1st, 2016 5:13am
because you can't let go of him/her. try checking out the breakup post here on 7cups for more advice on how to let go
March 31st, 2016 11:46pm
I sleep, wake up, and do everything thinking about my ex. It truly sucks! We both need to forget and move on.
November 24th, 2015 6:02am
As a person who normally dated online a lot, and when they ended I woke up thinking about my ex. It was mostly one situation though. The main reason I woke up thinking about my ex was because of an unresolved issue in our relationship.
March 23rd, 2016 12:28pm
Because i love her? Haha i go to sleep thinking about her, dream about her, and so on i wake up thinking of her ..
April 28th, 2016 6:56pm
Sometimes it takes time for our minds to cope with change, just like it takes our tongue some time getting used to a teeth that has been pulled out. But sometimes people, like some teeth, are not good for us and slowly we get used to their absence just like we get used to the space between our teeth. And soon, something better comes out for us.
January 26th, 2015 12:51am
"It's normal to think of your ex whenever you've got free time at least for the first couple of months it's a matter of getting used to something or someone". I've always said that to my friends or people who asked me for advice. But actually I've reached an "abnormal" level. He was my first love after 6 months we broke up we got in touch again after a year. It's my 4th year now and I won't deny it I still think about him every now and then but it's very much different now it's better and I'm opened and comfortable with that. We still talk, actually he still talks as I never start chatting first. This month For the first time in 4 years I forgot his birthday, it felt strange usually I get depressed 4 days before thinking of weather to talk to him on that day or not and then get depressed for a week after his birthday as he never answered me the way I thought. this year was different I forgot his birthday -he didn't forget mine- the FB reminded me I posted him a HBD wish with an apologie for being late which was actually a very late one, he answered even later with "it's okay :)" and that's it. For the first time in years I felt nothing which was actually amazing I didn't get depressed it didn't affect my studying or my exams as it did for the past 4 years. I was happy I was proud of myself I even forgot to tell my friend about what happened. It was strangely wonderful. Time heals everything, it's not being in a new relationship or finding someone who fixes your heart or makes your life better. It's all left to you, be a better person for yourself.
February 15th, 2015 8:44pm
You probably wake up thinking about your ex because you still have feelings for them. Maybe you should go talk to them
April 29th, 2015 12:54pm
It's often hard to get over an ex. Their lack of presence can leave us feeling alone or wanting back what once was. The human mind after a tend up is however usually often bias. It focuses either on all the only the negatives, or only the positives, and such a big change can often lead to it being your first thoughts in the morning. It does however become a norm, just like having them was. It gets easier, and we must go through the rain, to get to the rainbow.
April 1st, 2016 11:38am
Even a full year after my last break up I found this happening. It's perhaps due to the fact that when we are in the diffuse mode of thought we tend to reach far back in our consciousness wrenching forth old memories and unresolved issues. I learned the best way to solve this was to confront the issues first-hand and seek effective closure from within. The old traumas will always find their way forth back into your life if you do not take the time to deal with them along the way. Remind yourself of why it ended and what you learned rather than remaining attached to old feelings you may have had. All that matters is here and now.
May 24th, 2015 3:33pm
Breakups are hard and sucky to go through. Love is a very powerful force which is impossible to eliminate all at once. The weak spots will break off first, and slowly but surely it will disappear altogether. The most cliche saying is time can heal all wounds, but it is not wrong. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of a love, it is normal and frankly unavoidable, but you will eventually not wake up thinking of your ex. Best of luck to you lovely human
October 8th, 2016 9:42am
You may want to think deeper about this and ask yourself some questions such as: What specifically am I thinking about my ex when I wake up? What about that thought strikes me as significant? What about my ex do I remember most? What kind of unresolved issues might I have with my ex that could be resurfacing? What can I do to feel better about any unresolved issues that might exist?
January 4th, 2016 2:20am
its a normal thing u shared a part of ur life with him/her so make piece with ur self , but sometime ur the guilt we feel after unsuccessful relationships makes us monitor ever hard situation and keep saying that i should have done that or why didnt i react like that
April 29th, 2016 1:48pm
I've experienced that. It helps to try & break the cycle. You can't help waking up every morning with your ex on your mind, but you can change how you react to that. Instead of crying and letting it cloud your mind by sitting here & elaborating on your thoughts...workout, watch tv, call a friend that you enjoy talking to (not about your ex), etc. The more you let thoughts of your ex occupy your mind, the more you're gonna find yourself waking up to thoughts of him/her.
May 6th, 2016 3:48am
He left an imprint on you. All relationships do, really, both platonic and romantic. And it's the romantic ones that often leave the deepest footprint on our minds and hearts. It might take a long time to wake up thinking about anybody or anything else, but those memories will fade as time goes on. They might always cling to you just a little, but with each passing day they will fade more and more. You're gonna be alright.
April 8th, 2016 2:05pm
It's probably because you have not closed the chapter and have not come to terms with breaking up. Be content with yourself!
May 4th, 2016 5:22am
Love can take a while to get over. It is an incredibly strong emotion. Thinking about him/her a few days after break up is definitely normal. You never know, maybe s/he also has you in his/her head.
April 10th, 2016 1:30pm
Because you likely haven't completely stopped thinking about him/her during the day. Alternatively, you may also miss the comfort of starting your day and knowing there's someone thinking about you. It will pass in time.
April 27th, 2016 3:00pm
because you are still in love with him and its difficult for you to get over him.
March 10th, 2015 9:52pm
This is a totally normal thing, to wake up thinking about your ex. It means your subconscious is still thinking about that person, and you miss them in some way or another. Hang in there, and it will get easier with time! Consider talking to a listener about your ex. It's good to get this stuff off your chest.
May 13th, 2016 1:29pm
This may a longing that you have after breaking up. The memories that you treasure may be indirectly linked to you thinking about your ex after waking up. However, things like this take time to get over and it'll take quite a while. I've gone through the same with an ex and it took a year to recover but slowly I realized I shouldn't link him to the memories. I treasure those memories and it helped me grow so I left them as nothing but worthy lessons and through this process, i managed to let him go. So my advice is to take it slow, take it day by day and slowly but gradually you'll move on.
January 24th, 2015 3:28pm
It's probably because you slept with your ex on your mind. If you are constantly thinking about your ex, you may find it hard to move on from the break up.
April 25th, 2016 3:27pm
Probably because you're just in the process of moving on. You got used to him and you might be staring your couple photo before you go to bed (which you should totally change).
May 4th, 2016 8:39pm
You still didn't realize how bad he/she for you, u need to go out and discover your self, find a hippy or something to study then u discover that ur ex doesn't worth a person like you who is capable to do this much
August 12th, 2017 12:37am
Because that person made a huge impact on your life,whether it be positive or negative. Consider it a lesson of what you DONT/DO want for your next relationship
May 24th, 2015 9:47pm
You're thinking about about your ex probably because you've spent a lot of time thinking about them. You're not yet used to having them out of your life because they were such a big part of it for such a time. This is completely okay, and you can make it through this to the next stage of your life where you're happy with who you are and you've chosen a person you care about to love and be with. If you need anything I'm here for you. xxx Moment
December 1st, 2015 9:42am
don't worry, it's normal. You miss time you spent together, you miss the one you were with him.Now you are different, he is different. If you think you are still in love tell him, on the other side mybe it's just nostalgia and melancholy. I'm sure, soon you will feel better.
March 25th, 2016 1:54am
When your sleeping maybe your having a dream about him or thinking about him so you just wake up, that's a probably miss you ex and are thinking of your memories together so you wake up in distress
April 13th, 2016 3:05am
Because the heart never forget someone it once loved every relationship we endure in life always has a mark on our heart may it be positive or negative.
November 16th, 2015 8:04pm
I've experienced that. It helps to try & break the cycle. You can't help waking up every morning with your ex on your mind, but you can change how you react to that. Instead of crying and letting it cloud your mind by sitting here & elaborating on your thoughts...workout, watch tv, call a friend that you enjoy talking to (not about your ex), etc. The more you let thoughts of your ex occupy your mind, the more you're gonna find yourself waking up to thoughts of him/her.