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How can I tell if my mother in law likes me?

160 Answers
Last Updated: 12/02/2021 at 4:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Clinical Social Work/Therapist

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Top Rated Answers
December 5th, 2020 9:22pm
If she treats you like her own mother or son, then she probably likes you. This is good because whoever you marry, you marry their whole family too so getting along with your mother-in-law is always advisable and a good sign. If she does acts of services and shows her love through these actions, that is also probably another sign. Also, showing that you respect your family in-laws is also a good indicator of a healthy relationship with your spouse as well as gaining respect from your mother-in-law. Overall, if she shows you love in a language that is similar to how she shows your spouse, you're in good hands.
February 25th, 2021 2:52pm
You can usually tell when she talks positively about you a lot, she asks about and wants to know you, she invites you to family affairs, she respects you when you aren't around, she remembers the big things about you, she is excited for your future together, she respects your opinions, she understands your boundaries, she may give off a positive vibe, she doesn't critique you without constructiveness, she may take your side, she may visit you every once in a while, she brings or sends gifts to you, she asks for help, and she doesn't compare you to others
March 26th, 2021 2:40am
well if she respects you and your opinions and she doesn´t talk bad about you when you are not around, it is likely she likes you. Also most of all she wants to know about you and your family. She is excited for your future together and so happy for her son and she remembers you on special occasions. She accepts your boundaries and she likes your family and loves them as much as she loves you. Also if she tells you about what her childhood was like when she was a kid and if she wants you to have her grand children etc.
May 3rd, 2021 10:25am
Read this really cool book called the five languages of love and just see if she has some behaviour that is included in that book. Love isn't just about the love given by the partner but can also involve family members, successful marriages have a healthy inclusion for positive relationships with in law's. If you're not sure you can always arrange to have a lunch date with her and generally get a feel for things or exchange gifts because gifts create love. It might be abit awkward to ask her, and also she may come from a generation where love is not often displayed publicly, which does happen, sometimes in law's have a tendency not to discuss how they feel about you with you, and at the same time, they are boasting about all your good qualities to their friends.
May 13th, 2021 7:48am
if your mother in law likes you she will start to compare with her daughter and show small gestures to you that she cares for you. she will understand you needs and try to be of any help that she can be. she will support you when you need support. she will gradually act like you are her own daughter and you might even find her pampering you. you will find her there with you in every step as a great friend or even your mother. she will listen to you and try to understand you. moreover, she will try and make your life easier like every mother tries to do for kids - taking burden of kids on themselves as a method to protect.
July 8th, 2021 7:52pm
We all express kindness in different ways. Some people are naturally more meek or private, so they may seem cold when they're really just not that expressive. If you're unsure of whether or not she likes you, it might help to rule out if she doesn't like you--is she rude to you, or rude or condescending to your spouse about you? She may not go out of her way to express kindness which may be due to her values or perspective, but you can try and see if any of her smaller actions towards you (body language, indirect conversation) express any feelings.
October 2nd, 2021 2:24am
Knowing for sure if someone likes us or not isn't always obvious. Family relationships can be especially tricky at times. Is there a specific reason you are thinking she doesn't like you? Try exploring the question a little further to understand why you are questioning how she feels about you. Sometimes the easiest way to get the best answer is to simply ask the question; could you ask your mother in law if she likes you or how she feels about you and your relationship? This could be the easiest way to know for sure, and it also creates a space where you can discuss what could improve in your relationship and how you can work together keeping that in mind.
November 3rd, 2021 10:23pm
The stressor of a partners family can certainly be a big one. Everyone mother-in-law is different so there is no cut and dry answer to how you determine if she likes you or not. I would say just take mind of the little signs that you notice in her actions towards you. Every individual shows if their feelings towards other people in different ways, body language, language, does she pay attention when you speak? Does she remember details about you and your interests? No matter what you are a part of her family and a bond will likely grow and develop over time
November 26th, 2021 4:50pm
Different things work for different people. Some like to be accommodating, some only keep it civil. What matters is that your mother in law respects you. You don't need her to be your best friend or number one fan. You're an adult, so you don't need her finances or permissions to live your life. So long as she doesn't try to take control of you or your spouse's relationship with you, you're doing okay. There's really no need to ask whether she likes you or dotes on you. But you do need to think about why this matters to you. Is it because you feel it might impact your relationship with your spouse and family? Or is it because you want everyone to like you? Or is it because you don't like yourself very much? Why you want to know whether or not she likes you is the important question, because even if she likes you, if you want everyone to like you, you'll wonder about the same thing about other people, and if you don't like yourself that much, it's still something that affects your life.
December 2nd, 2021 4:56am
It can be difficult to tell sometimes because mothers and mothers in law, like all people, can have different ways of showing care/love/approval for the people around them. One of the best ways to tell is to see if she treats you like she does her own children (including your spouse). Obviously she will not treat you in exactly the same way, but if she truly likes and respects you, many of the same feelings (and behaviors) will be apparent. Be sure also to give her enough time to get to know you and to show her that you support her ongoing role/relationship with your spouse (assuming boundaries and expectations are healthy all around).