How to stop hating your little brother?
Last Updated: 04/04/2021 at 5:06pm
Traci Seery, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
If what you mean is general sibling rivalry, that's perfectly normal. Me and my younger brother never got along as kids. Now we're each other's best support system. But, if you think things are getting out of control, approch your parents. After all, they know and love both of you equally and can make the best unbiased decisions.
Hate is such a strong word as I am sure you don't really hate your little brother. You probably just are having issues with him and are struggling with getting along with him right now! Try seeing things from his point of view if he is doing something you don't like. Ask yourself "Why do you think he is doing this?" It will help you two see eye to eye!
Put yourself in a position of your little brother. Elder brothers are like GODS for little brothers. They actually love you like anything - they will do anything to impress you or stay close to you - that is why they sometimes act like you. Can you really hate someone who loves you so much?
First off, don't feel guilty for how you feel. I don't know your age, but I'm assuming you're a teen, right? If the answer is yes, then it's totally normal to feel jealous or envious of your little brother. That doesn't mean that you don't love him. Actually, you'll never know how much someone means to you until they are gone. Just don't mistreat him and realize that, as much as he could be luckier than you, it's not of his fault. Get angry at those who are directly responsible for your hatred. Good luck.
There is a reason as to why you hate him. Address the reason and let it go. Forgive him and move forward.
Try getting to know him personally. Spend more time with him and find things that you both have in common.
Remember that he is family and deep down he cares about you. Remember that you are smarter and wiser and he looks up to you even if he does not show it
This question actually hits very close to home for me. I come from a culture where it isn't normal or accepted to have more than one child per couple. But because we moved from our home country, I have a little sister who was born here and is 14 years younger than I am. Her conception and birth gave my mother terminal stage cervical cancer and caused my parents to divorce. As someone who is an only child and is surrounded by only children, someone who values her family more than just about anything, I could not bring myself to love my little sister. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say she irrevocably changed my life. I honestly hated her for taking my family away from me. But as she grew older, I began to see how she herself was struggling in this family. I became aware that she, too, was jealous of me, for having relations with our parents (both of them) that she never might. Seeing things from her perspective helped me to make peace with some of the feelings in my heart, especially once she got old enough to understand and communicate. I still am not ready to say I love her with all my heart. But I think I can also confidently say that I no longer hate her.
He is your little brother, you need to realize that he will be in your life forever. And although you don't get along sometimes, its better to accept each other rather than dispute for the rest of your lives.
I hated my little brother for the longest time to be honest, but after awhile it will pass. You've just got to realize that he looks up to you, and wants to be just like you... You dont want to set a bad example.
Try to spend time with him. i understand he can be annoying, but think what if he suddenly goes missing. How would you feel? And then try to give him time and be nice.
Accept him for who he is. He may not be the best brother, but the best thing you can do is to love him the way you want to be loved.
Focus on finding things you love and could be grateful for about him. Believe that everything has its good reason, so is your brother's existence in your life. As for the hate, find out why you hate him so much and try to resolve it by letting go of the hate. Be more accepting :)
Try and identify what it is that he does that makes you so angry with him. If you can, talk to him or your parents about the issue. Sometimes, they don't even realize they're doing anything wrong.
Little brothers may seem like a pain sometimes but think about what you would do without them. I used to not be able to stand my little brother. We picked on each other every single day and finally one day he decided to move in with his dad. Now I get to see him maybe every other weekend if I'm lucky. Without him being around I feel lonely. He always kept me on my feet, doing something. But now that he's not here all the time I have too much free time that I don't know what to do with. Makes me really think about how much I miss him. Little brothers are like little blessings. :)
You don't hate your brother; you love your brother, but you just don't like him as a person very much. That is ok because you have plenty of time to develop those kinds of feelings for one another. You just have to recognize that you are both young and at different development stages in your lives and that eventually, you'll both be able to relate to one another (not necessarily agree).
Just realize he is looking up to you and craves your attention and feels So jealous that you have and are everything he is not, from his point of view. Having this empathy will transform your hate to compassion
Rivalry or fights between siblings are very common and natural. You are fighting for resources and attention of your parents. Yet, close relatives who lived with you, grew up with you know you very well and can be a great friend for life so it can be a good reason to learn to love them and search for understanding and learn to live together.
Learn to love one another and respect and appreciate what we have around us and the people that are there for us :)
Understand the fact that he is your family member and your brother try observing what he likes and be friendly
You know, having siblings is very amazing, many people dont see it that way , but i do. They are always going to be there for you. They are your family. Try to communicate with him more and you will notice how much yall share in common.
It's great that you wish to better your relationship with him. Sibling rivalry is a common occurrence. No matter how annoying they are, there's a part of us that secretly cares for the other, especially when they're in danger and you need to protect them - they're family after all. It may be a bit morbid, but think about what you'd feel if your little brother suddenly lost his life. If you feel grief/sadness, there's love there that you can grow on.
You might want to try this idea: Make a list about things you like about him or he did in a nice way.
If you live with someone for so long you tend to only see their bad features, try and spend more times together or do things like playing games
First of all, reflect on what you feel, and find out the reason behind it. After you know the *why, you will be able to take first steps to letting the hate go.
HATE is a strong word. They may have done something that has really upset you to the point of not wanting to talk to them ever again but always remember he is your little brother, he loves you, cares for you, and is there to annoy you :) but the most important thing to remember is he is and always will be your FAMILY, life is to short to hate him, you'll never no if the last time you saw your brother will be the last time for ever!
You're siblings. You'll learn to stop hating him, eventually. Believe me, I know what's it like. I have two brothers. One's older than me and the other is younger than me. We argue alll the time but in the end we are still siblings. It's very common to argue and "hate" each other.
I hate my little brother too but you must realise this child depends on you as a role model. They will pick up on your hatred and only retaliate more. Maybe you can speak to someone one on one or even your brother if he is old enough to understand. You don't owe any of your family respect if they do not give it either but you must be kind and be the bigger person in any situation. Life will treat you greater for it and you will become a better person. It will be hard but that is what makes it worth it.
Having a positive relationship with your siblings can be extremely beneficial, particularly later in life. However, it's not always easy when your sibling has a habit of annoying you. Not only can it can cause frustration and anger for you personally, it can cause conflict within your family and fill your home with tension. Figuring out how to handle your sibling's problematic behavior may take time, but with a little patience and reason, you can learn to defuse the situation and avoid conflict.
Do things with him spend time,if he's been annoying explain that he's bugging you and to give you space
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