I'm cheating on my boyfriend or girlfriend. Am I a bad person?
136 Answers
Last Updated: 09/30/2019 at 7:38pm
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 11:37am
You are not a bad person, you have made a mistake but that does not determine the type of person you are.
You are not a bad person, you are making a bad choice. If it's not working talk to them rather than hurting them like that.
I would take stock of your life and find out if hurting someone else in order to feel pleasure for yourself is really the right thing to do. Either way, you are not a "bad" person.
You are not bad person. But if you cheat to youe boyfriend or girlfriend that means you don't like him/her and you sould break up.
You are not a bad person but you must acknowledge the fact that what you are doing will hurt other people and the best thing that you could do for yourself and the other person is to either stop cheating and tell them or end the relationship.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2015 12:31am
I dont think it makes you a bad person, as youre obviously not happy with your relationship with him. What will make you a bad person is if you dont tell him
Transparency is very important in a relationship. If you feel bad for it, it is probably symptomatic of some issue you have with your girlfriend or boyfriend. It can be a starting point to think about the strenght and weaknesses of your relation and your reaction to that toughts might suggest you how to deal with the issue and how to talk with your girlfriend/boyfriend about your concerns
You asked this question because you were feeling guilty.. Which confirms that you definitely not a bad person... Look, be honest with the one you're cheating on... Seeing this, he/she will definitely feel you.. It's okay..
Anonymous
November 16th, 2015 12:11am
You should tell her/him, you should never cheat, it means you don'e the person you are with
Anonymous
November 16th, 2015 4:32pm
no u r not a bad person but u are doing bad thing.........people are never bad r good but what they do that thing is bad or good
Anonymous
November 19th, 2015 10:00am
You are not a bad person. A poor action on your part does not define whether or not you are good as a person :) Although, please do not cheat on your partner. If there is something in your relationship that you are unhappy about, being honest is a good way to go about it (even if it is hard for you). I've been cheated on before and what cheating does is that it crushes your partner completely -- self-esteem, self value, confidence, trust... you name it. It makes them feel like they are the most hopeless thing in the world. I can feel a sense of guilt in your question and seeing that you asked this shows that you care for him/her. If you really care, please tell him/her about it and voice out your feelings
Anonymous
November 19th, 2015 11:25am
Communication is so important in relationships. If you girlfriend/boyfriend is okay with an open relationship, 'cheating' is okay. If not, it isn't. No one action will determine whether you're a 'bad' person or not. Humans are more complex than that.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2015 7:45pm
Your not a bad person but you need to tell your partner and try not to hurt them. Good luck and don't beat yourself up to much, just be kind.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2015 5:01pm
I think if you truly loved the person you are with you wouldn't cheat on them, but if you love someone else its better not to lead your boyfriend/girlfriend on
Of course not. We all make mistakes and we all can solve them. That's why they exist. Because they are making us be better people. You just need to consider it, firslty to forgive yourself, and then be honest with your boy/girl friend and express your feelings. Every nice person does a mistake in his/her life. And that's why he/she comes to be a better person in the future.
I just answered this. If you are cheating, it's not something that feels good, at least after the fact. If you don't have feelings of guilt. Then, you really need to focus on this issue and figure out what is going on with your emotions.
I think you need to consider two things here :
1) What is the need that is lacking in your present relationship? Or is it simply lack of control?
2) Can you accept the same from your bf/gf?
About you being a bad person - thats a really long shot and not my place to judge you. I do think you need to ask yourself what you want actually. Something doesnt entirely feel right, doesnt it?
You are feeling worried that cheating makes you a bad person. One choice doesn't determine whether a person is good or bad. Why do you think you are feeling negatively?
Hello; I just want to make sure I understand; you are cheating on your boyfriend and this is making you wonder if you are a bad person?
You're not exactly a bad person. You fell for someone else and that is usually uncontrolable. What you need to do is to tell the truth to your current partner though I do not guarantee she will give you a second chance.
There's no real answer to this. If you love your boy/girlfriend then honesty is a good way to resolve these issues. If you don't, honesty would still be a good option since it may benefit you more than hiding it.
There's no saying if you are a bad person or a good person. Everyone will hurt someone's feelings. The most important things (in my opinion) are how you move on and what you do next. A past action could be referred to as 'spilled milk'.
I hope this was helpful.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2015 1:18am
Cheating isnt a good thing anyway you look at it. But it doesnt always make you a bad person just because you do something wrong or bad.
Morally, yes. Psychologically, perhaps. Some people cheat because they're in a bad relationship that is toxic and they're too scared to get out of it or they don't want to hurt the person's feelings. Sometimes, the person just wants to hurt the other person. Other times, it can simply be because they're bored of the person and/or relationship. Your answer to why someone may do so determines whether or not they're a bad person. Of course, there are people who think that cheating is not acceptable, no matter the reason and consider the person to be bad. Hope this helps.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2015 1:32pm
It depends in how you're feeling about it. If what you are doing makes you more happy then talk to your girlfriend first cause you don't want her to know it from other people it will look worst than it is. But generally I think no you're not. :)
i love my boyfriend of 5 years deeply.
we were going through a difficult time. fought constantly.
while we were apart i was comforted by another guy.
we would hangout together, drink, smoke and kiss. We had sex at a later stage of our encounters.
it happened more than once. Ultimately what we both did was wrong since we both had partners.
Be mindful that you may be possibly hurting someone. You're not a bad person. There are no bad people. We're all just people. And we can do bad things or good things. We make mistakes too, and that doesn't make us bad or good either. Breaking up with your boy/girlfriend will relieve your doubt and possible guilt. It might be best to take this road because if your partner finds out, there will be a lot of trouble. Another option is to stop cheating on them and keep the relationship going.
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2015 8:55pm
yes, it is very wrong. The fact that you go behind your significant other's back and cheat means that you shouldn't be in a relationship. Cheating hurts both parties, I have been cheated on before and it makes me feel like i'm pathetic
what you don't like to be done to you , do not do it to others .Period!
You're not a bad person but the choice that you're taking is pretty awful . Makeup your mind to who you want to be with.
you feel what you feel. question is why. you have to figure that out. and do something about it. my grandma told me one small thing - behave such so that no one else gets hurt. have helped me until now. may be will help you take the right decision too :)
Related Questions: I'm cheating on my boyfriend or girlfriend. Am I a bad person?
My father is having an extramarital affair. Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me a lot. How do I deal with this situation?How to connect a person online with a therapist?How can I make my family understand that I'm not seeking attention and just trying to get the help I need?What do I do if my father thinks I hate him even after I told him I don't?How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?What age is too young to leave home?How do I live with a mentally-ill parent?My dad likes to touch me. Is this sexual abuse?How do I deal with a religious family as an atheist?What do I do when my husband ignores me?