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How can I tell someone how I'm feeling without looking silly or weak?

179 Answers
Last Updated: 01/18/2021 at 5:51pm
How can I tell someone how I'm feeling without looking silly or weak?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Traci Seery, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Are you living your best life? My style is collaborate, supportive and compassionate. Together, we will develop goals that produce positive results to make your life better.

Top Rated Answers
November 18th, 2015 8:45pm
Use empathy as much as possible to show that you or someone you know has faced similar issues and it's OK.
November 19th, 2015 2:39am
You can simply tell them how you feel and just know that that's how you truly feel inside. You can't lie about your emotions.
November 19th, 2015 6:38pm
My slogan is: always be yourself. But, sometimes this can make the condition a little bit more uncomfortable. The first thing you need to do is, re-think the feeling that you want to express. Have it in your mind and take all the possible answers you can get. With this method, you will be ready for anything you are about to hear. Therefore, you will be cool too. So, take two or three deep breaths, be sure for what you are about to say, be prepared for all the answers, be calm and last but not least BE YOURSELF.
November 20th, 2015 5:01am
know first that sharing your feeling is one of the most important things i can do it helps me sort through them and get others opinions
November 20th, 2015 3:28pm
Well I don't really know due to not being there yet ... But the thing I can say is that people have their reasons to feel what they feel and you mustn't feel ashamed of your feelings ... and if it comes to love, love is a beautifull thing no matter what ... and you don't choose who to fall in love with so if the person against you has some brain there is nothing to worry about ...
November 20th, 2015 5:40pm
November 22nd, 2015 10:31am
It is very intimating to share your feelings with others, especially when you feel you need support and you do not want to feel weak. I have experienced this and I know others have this issue also. I have learned to open up to people by remembering the following: 1. Well-thought out feeling - When I need to ask for support from another person I ensure that I have thought through the feeling enough to know how to share my feeling with clarity. If you truly want help from someone then you are reaching out to get another person's perspective, their opinion or suggestions that you may not have come up with on your own. The more that you understand and can communicate, concisely what you are feeling and what you need, the more you will benefit from reaching out for support. 2. Be vulnerable - I have found that unless I am willing to take a risk and completely open up to someone that I am asking for support from, then I will not get what I need. The more you give, the more you will receive. There is an incredible Ted Talk video on vulnerability: This is an incredible video to watch. 3. Venting - If I am overwhelmed and have no idea what is wrong or where to begin then I will begin the conversation with: "can I vent to you?" In doing this I may not want an answer, an opinion or suggestions. I simply want another human being to acknowledge my suffering. And I remind myself that everyone needs to vent at times to maintain emotional health. I hope these ideas are helpful to others so that they (or you) will feel no shame or guilt in sharing your feelings with others.
November 22nd, 2015 5:47pm
You shouldn't worry about how you look to others. You should express yourself with all of your heart!
November 25th, 2015 12:52am
First off you will never look weak when you tell someone how you feel as it takes a lot of courage to talk to them, plus you aren't keeping your feelings to yourself and shutting everyone else out. You won't be weak by telling someone how you feel you will be strong
November 25th, 2015 5:16pm
Just be honest with your feelings. It's important to voice how you feel because bottling up emotions is bad for your health. I used to do that because I was embarrassed of looking weak, but when I learned to deal with my emotions and realized that it is totally normal to voice them, I felt so much happier and at peace with myself and those around me. We are human, and all humans have weaknesses... No matter how strong we may seem! Just believe in yourself and show how you really feel.
November 26th, 2015 8:13am
Just be confident enogh to tell them all about your feeling dont afraid of consequences just let them know how u feel if u keep all your within urself u gonna be hurt ...... its hurt .... dont think tht they gonna laugh at you or bully you .... maybe she/her waiting for you ...
November 27th, 2015 12:18am
Try being assertive and confident; you're more likely to be taken seriously than if you hesitate. :)
November 27th, 2015 12:50pm
Saying what you feel can definitely put yourself in a vulnerable position, this however does not mean you are weak. On the contrary it can convey confidence like nothing else. That said it's important be sure the person you are sharing with is someone who is understanding or invested enough in the relationship. Beyond that, opening up to people is always a risk, just try to be safe and if it goes wrong learn from what happened so it's better next time. As to actual techniques in communication, try saying things in a way that cannot be denied or argued. For example, "I feel bad when you treat me this way, and I don't want to feel that way about you because you are important to me." That might seem cheesy or not fit the situation well, but hopefully you get the idea.
November 28th, 2015 2:40am
Be open and honest with them about how you feel and explain why you feel the way that you are feeling
November 28th, 2015 9:32am
Be honest! A lot of the time, you may feel as if you look silly and weak whereas in fact it's just you feeling like that, whereas in reality you don't look silly and weak. In fact, your friend (or whoever) that you've told about your feelings is likely wanting to support you, and respecting you for you being to tell them about your personal feelings. An exception to this may be if you talk about your feelings with someone who's emotional abusive, or doesn't understand and makes no effort to, or who's unkind. In this case, if they tell you that you look silly or weak or make you feel that way then they are being disrespectful, and talking to someone else is probably a better option. Talking about your feelings is often relieving and better than keeping it all within.
November 29th, 2015 1:14am
I self talk first that I am just as good as the person(s) I am speaking to and should have equal respect as a human being.
November 29th, 2015 11:35am
Showing or expressing how you feel isnt a weakness it shows alot about someone if they are willing to ask for help
November 29th, 2015 4:40pm
just know that every human being is unique and you can always have any kind of opinion about anything their is nothing wrong in having a opinion which is totally different from general notions.Be confident of whatever you feel.
December 2nd, 2015 4:26pm
I first try to fully understand my true feelings and thoughts so I feel more confident and sure of myself when I communicate to someone else. I always try to be as open and honest as I can, communicating my true feelings, not what I think I should be feeling.
December 4th, 2015 3:16am
Telling someone of your feelings should never be seen as weak because you are voicing your concern or your trouble on what a situation is making you feel.
December 4th, 2015 8:01am
I could tell someone by making them clear about my feelings and how I choose to overcome it. I will try to be positive about it.
December 5th, 2015 10:14am
Be honest and show that you're serious about whatever it is that you're feeling. Showing honesty and seriousness will not make one look silly or weak.
December 6th, 2015 6:02pm
The key is being assertive: a)confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views. If you don’t feel assertive, is ok, you don’t have to feel assertive, you can just -act- assertive, once I saw a conference where the speaker give the following advice to the audience: “fake it until you feel it, and then, you fake it until you become it”. The speaker was speaking from her own experience, how she feel inadequate and clumsy but the fake it, until one day she feel capable. To me is easier to imagine you are an actor, you are doing a representation, you create a character in your mind and you play that character, you played until you become it.
December 11th, 2015 8:07pm
Expressing your feelings is never weak dear , even though it might feel so at the time . It's actually a very brave and good thing to do . Also the person you express them too will probably be very glad that you had the courage to tell them this , or at least that they can now better understand you . If you still worry they'll think you're weak though , you can try and keep the things as straightforward as possible and tell them exactly how you feel without adding or taking anything away from what you want to let them know . That might be helpful
December 12th, 2015 12:51am
Telling someone how you feel will never make you look weak, everyone has struggles and if you're telling friends or someone who you know cares about you, they won't judge you for your struggles
December 12th, 2015 7:28am
First find someone that you know you can really trust, sit them down and say that there have been somethings bothering you recently that you want to talk to them about because you trust them. Tell them whats on your mind and you guys can talk about it together :) I recently used this strategy with my best friend and she has been so understanding and kind listening to me! And I promise you your problems aren't silly or weak, and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me :)
December 12th, 2015 11:54am
just say to them how you honestly feel towards them. they should respect how they feel about them and if they don't then maybe you should try finding someone else.
December 13th, 2015 12:06am
Telling someone about how you are feeling is a very brave thing to do. When you release your feelings verbally, you become vulnerable to the person listening, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of other people is extremely courageous and brave, very much the opposite of weak or silly.
December 13th, 2015 12:40am
Sit down with them. Say you have to tell something about yourself. Have them be a trusted friend and don't hold back. Try not to laugh, don't wave your problems off.
December 13th, 2015 8:14pm
Be confident in what you're saying. Even if that's not how you feel at all on the inside, just act confident and it will come out much better.