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Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?

241 Answers
Last Updated: 01/27/2022 at 2:09pm
Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
August 31st, 2017 2:39pm
Set goals for yourself! Step out of your current situation and think of meaningful things to do in life! It need not be related to work or studies, it could be something you're passionate about, something that can leave a positive impact on someone else. Use that as your motivation to live everyday with purpose and meaning!!! :)
September 3rd, 2017 8:03am
100% of things in your life are messed up? there is not 1% of things that are not entirely messed up? It's 100% without point to live? There isn't 1% chance that there is a point? Sometimes focusing on mathematically probabilities helps me maintain my hope. There has to be at least 1% hope - because I cannot see the future to know 100% for sure that there isn't any. It's even possible that motivation and happiness are right around the corner. If we can just hold on long enough, ,maybe we will live to see ourselves without these dark thoughts, no one can say for sure either way, so it might be worth just trying. You are giving me hope just by taking the time to ask this question. It shows that you want chagne, and that you're capable of it. You are the only one who knows what kinds of thought challenges you need or what kind of new habits you may want to pursue, but asking this question and wondering about it are an amazing start. Personally, I think the point of my life is to discover what the point of my life is. Continue your search for meaning, and good luck!
September 3rd, 2017 11:49pm
Focus on things that make you happy, find new interest and hobbies, spend time with people who give out positive vibes.
September 13th, 2017 6:38pm
First you must examine why you feel this way. Is it really that absolutely everything is messed up, or is it that there is a lot going on that you feel overwhelmed? Identifying the cause(s) & its reason(s) will get us off to a start to develop positive thinking.
September 19th, 2017 5:44pm
Leave notes around your house for yourself. simple positive affirmations. You have to retrain your mind. Negative energy will always bring you to a place of hopelessness. But change your mind and it will change your atmosphere.
September 20th, 2017 3:42am
I would suggest you look into community projects that revolve around helping other people, like children or people with disabilities. I find that making their days easier/brighter gives me a sense of purpose, which also gives me a better outlook on life as a whole.
November 7th, 2017 8:48pm
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Your first sentence sums it up perfectly. You need to find structure in your life, routine. Get a job, even if it's temporary and explore interests. If you've been suffering from depression for a long time, get medicated, use all of the resources at your disposal.
November 15th, 2017 4:05pm
Counselling can be incredibly helpful, it can help you discover areas in your life that you feel like you can make a change in. This can often mean engaging in some project, or helping others. Reaching out is always the first step!
November 17th, 2017 2:47pm
Do anything. Anything starting from one thing that is messed up. Even the smallest step will give some hope and self confidence that things can be better.
November 18th, 2017 11:21am
This may sound cheesy but it's what keeps me going. Your past has defined your present and your present will eventually define your future. I'm very unhappy with my present self but I'm optimistic for the future and hence, work hard today for a better tomorrow. Also, sometimes it's better not to overthink. Hope this helps!
November 24th, 2017 4:26pm
The best thing you could do to help yourself feel hopeful is engage in more self-help/self-care. Motivation doesn't last forever and it is natural to feel a sense of hopelessness from time to time when you're stuck in one of life's rough patches, but it is very important for you to care for yourself. There are many ways you can do this. Find a healthy coping mechanism, such as drawing, singing, listening to music, going on long walks (where you could perhaps find a camera with you and find beauty in the world around you), do 20-30 minutes of exercise every day (or every other day), or even write down negative feelings in a journal to get them out of your system. Once you start feeling better about yourself it is much easier to feel hopeful and look towards the future with a brighter outlook. Make sure you keep connections with friends alive, too, having a network of people who care about you and will listen is emotionally healthy for anyone going through a hard time.
December 8th, 2017 11:38pm
According to my experience, praying, genuinely seeking spiritual understanding and growth ~helps..
December 14th, 2017 1:15am
Sometimes events happen in life all at once and it get very hard to focus on the positive when your sinking in all the negative. What I do to feel hopeful is focus on the coping strategies i have learned that work best for me. I find grounding myself and working on breathing techniques helps me get through the next hour of my day. One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at at time.
December 20th, 2017 10:51am
Life can sometimes feel like it is getting too much, you are not alone with this! Personally, I feel like the best thing to do is to write down what you want to achieve in a day, a step at a time. As well as doing this you could plan something in that you enjoy, this could be: a walk, a cup of coffee, phoning a friend, writing a letter or maybe even a short trip somewhere. Having the smallest of things to look forward to can give you that little bit of hope you need to being on the way to feeling better.
December 31st, 2017 9:56pm
Find things that make you happy and concentrate on them. Concentrate on things that you do well. Success and a job well done will make you feel that life has a meaning Helping others will make you feel better about yourself.
January 12th, 2018 5:48pm
When I feel as though life is not going the way that I want it to I try to think about the things that are important to me and what I can do to keep moving towards those aims. Knowing what you value in life gives you something to focus on - this can be related to work, leisure, sport, relationships, lifestyle, etc - and helps encourage you to take action, even if it is only in small goals. When there is a lot going on in life we often end up thinking a lot about our problems, and the things we can do little about - this can easily lead to feelings of apathy or hopelessness. Finding something that we can change and concentrating our thoughts and energy on that can be helpful in avoiding those kinds of negative thoughts.
January 24th, 2018 3:07pm
I can relate to this, but it's important to recognise what you have and how you can use the things that you enjoy or feel motivated by to give yourself bigger goals. A lot of exciting things can occur when you just keep going, even if it seems unlikely.
January 24th, 2018 4:43pm
To feel hopeful, try starting a gratitude journal or even just writing out your thoughts and feelings out on paper. Often time when we see that's positive in our life and we can see and read it daily, we can have a stronger hold on that hope to keep us going. Letting out all the internal struggles we feel inside can help us let go of the heaviness and negativity you are holding in. Also, finding support, finding someone you can rely on and connect with will help you hold on to hope. Using the forums and group chats and even one on one chats can help motivate you daily.
January 27th, 2018 10:47pm
Keep reaching out for help and find something new that works for you. Motivation won't always work, so it's helpful to always have a back up. I know the feelings of what you're describing; you're not alone. The best thing to do is continue positive self care, even if it's hard; then to try to be around people. Another thing, use those coping skills! These, well, I dislike using them, and also myself, am not usually motivated, but it takes around 66 days to form a habit, so try forming a habit... Maybe it be brushing your hair more often, cooking a meal, getting up at a certain time, small changes like that. Then look at your progress and go for bigger.
February 8th, 2018 1:00am
Just know that the sun shines again, and sometimes talking to yourself and building motivation that way is a great way to feel hope!
February 9th, 2018 4:10am
look at yourself in the mirror and you see that person looking at you?well that person is you .you are amazing ,worth it,beautiful ,handsome everything,but most of all you matter!you have so much ahead of you and so many reason to be hopeful.i promise you'll have bad and good days but in the end theres so much to be postive about and look forward to.
February 9th, 2018 11:42am
If you wish for change in your life, you must change something within your life. Maybe think about something that you're not particularly happy about in your life and ask yourself how you could change that thing to turn it from a negative into a positive. If you're really struggling though, please don't be afraid to ask for help from a professional or chat with a listener here!
February 11th, 2018 1:28pm
Maybe you can focus on something that makes you happy? Also you can try and avoid things that make sad. But you always have to remember that your in control of your life.
February 17th, 2018 12:44am
Stay positive! Your life is not pointless when you think about the times when you are happy and laughing over a cup of tea. It is not too late to give up! Life throws curveballs at us, and so there is nothing wrong to feel bad. We have all had that time when we felt useless- but we can change that! If you need help, we here are 7 cups are more than willing to help you feel better!
February 23rd, 2018 10:19pm
Try out some after work/ school activities like go to the gym, do some dancing or singing.. something that makes you happy! I tried it myself and it worked for me:)
February 28th, 2018 4:11pm
Motivation absolutely is temporary. It's not just you. The difference between motivation and dedication is huge, but finding something worth your time (that feels natural to give your time to) is insanely hard. To be hopeful, just know that there is something out there that will fulfill you. You just haven't found it yet, and you just need to keep searching.
March 3rd, 2018 6:31pm
Focus on the future, do things you enjoy doing and surround yourself with good people, they should be able to give you more hope.
March 4th, 2018 11:45am
Sadly even hope can feel pointless at times, so you just get through the days and try to take care of yourself. Each day, make a list of things you're grateful for or things that you thought fell into the category of good/beautiful. Once you get that going, try to live each day so as to make that list longer.
March 8th, 2018 8:26pm
The first, most important thing is to talk to someone. Even though you're not suicidal right now, you don't want to let this progress to a point where you are at risk. I'd also say setting long-term goals might be a good idea, like projects you can focus on and put your energy into, even just to give yourself a small sense of purpose. But again - reach out! You can do this
March 9th, 2018 10:24am
Reaching out and talking about your feelings is the first step towards you gaining hope in life also seeking professional treatment from a licensed professional would also help.