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Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?

241 Answers
Last Updated: 01/27/2022 at 2:09pm
Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
March 14th, 2018 6:07pm
Read books.. use affirmation. You can keep a reminder for affirmation or keep your wallpaper and keep reading it everytime.. most importantly believe in yourself life is full of ups and downs so just relax and hope for a wonderful time ahead... Good luck 😊
March 16th, 2018 12:57am
If possible, find one thing that makes you feel good and is safe and healthy; watching a program you enjoy, seeing a movie, snuggling a pet, listening to piece of music that feels uplifting. Focus on doing that one thing , for as often as you need to to get through the dark.
March 19th, 2018 7:51pm
If motivation works even temporarily, it might be good to try a new motivation every day. I found that having something to look forward to is always the key to staying out of that rut. Its not easy, but its worth it! :)
March 29th, 2018 10:24am
Take a few moments everyday to set small goals for yourself. They don't have to be big, challenging or long-term, they can be as simple as having more positive thoughts, giving a compliment or looking after yourself. When you have achieved them, you will feel like you have accomplished something worthwhile, and make your day feel worth of living. Also, taking time daily to write down a few things you are love about yourself, are grateful for, or things you may have learnt can be helpful. For bigger goals, take a small step everyday.
April 12th, 2018 1:36pm
I was like you before. Make new friend will help. I don't know exactly what's your problem, so my advise is find a listener
April 12th, 2018 1:57pm
You might be asking the wrong question. Hope is a dangerous thing. That you dare to have it makes you brave. Take a side shot. Don't try to feel hopeful. Know that you are brave. Hope will will follow.
April 27th, 2018 6:46am
If life was easy it would get pretty boring after a while. You say motivation only works temporarily, how about setting yourself smaller goals to achieve and work your way up. I wish there was a magic wand to make you feel better but it's just a matter of finding what best works for you.
April 27th, 2018 7:59pm
I felt like that too, but life has so much, like your firsts of everything. Make a diary of every time you feel like that and do something that makes you happy.
April 29th, 2018 9:34am
See documentaries of people who are suffering and how they have this passion to live and help others when they themselves are in a bad state. That should be motivation enough!
May 6th, 2018 6:25pm
Surround yourself with the ones you love. They will want the best for you and comfort you. You will feel better after talking it out as well.
May 11th, 2018 7:58pm
Anything at all! Hope can be found in something as simple as seeing a giggling child, or cycling on a bike the colour of sunbeams - there will always be difficult times, but life is a balancing act and the scale is bound to tip back to the positive end at some point: While hardship may seem inevitable, remember that the same logic applies to hope-you will find it, I promise
May 17th, 2018 1:33am
It can be hard when everything in your life is feeling out of place; it can make you as a person become confused and distracted by the good things in life. That's what makes everything feel pointless. Ill start off by saying, the only thing that's pointless is a circle, and if you keep walking in circles, it wont help. I would recommend starting at the route of the problem and working my way through there. Set goals too, put it up on your walls, make reminders in your phone, just keep reminding yourself that of that goal. And that will keep giving you motivation to go on longer. You will be okay and just know, as long as you work hard, you'll get to a light at the end of the tunnel.
May 18th, 2018 2:13am
Go outside and take a walk with nature. Feel the sun, listen to the birds. Meditate on your feelings.
May 24th, 2018 7:38am
In honest; life is not about hope. Objectively speaking; life is about living. Hope for good things to happen is apart of the problem. I am not saying you should not want anything good. But someone close once said that erasing the bad also erases the good; its all connected. In changing one thing it would delete what is certainly good. On another hand, define pointless? What is your belief of live and its point? Purpose is a nice concept and if had its wonderful. But sometimes you have to find a reason to see a point, maybe as simple as to just be. Being is the solution and in a way moves you to a later part in life where you have lived to a new section you feel less hopeless about.
June 6th, 2018 5:46am
Life isn't easy but that's just how it is .You should take a deep breath and know that you are not alone . Take it easy and focus on what makes you happy while keeping yourself occupied.
June 23rd, 2018 2:44am
When you look at someone, look with your heart and not your eyes. You see so much more! Believe in yourself. Always! Don't hope for inspiration, be the inspiration! Share your story, and listen to other's stories. Great friendships have begun as easily as these two steps! Don't just love to live, live to love! Lastly, if you don't go within, you will go without! Peace
June 27th, 2018 11:21am
i dnt knw if you believe in god or not, if not then start believing and pray for yourself, there is only that great spirit whos gonna help you. otherwise to distract yourself from these thoughts, help other people in achieving there goals, you'll eventually achieve yours
June 27th, 2018 11:40am
Setting short-term and long-term goals helps with motivation. From this, you can build habits, even if that's drinking a glass of water every morning. From that, you can build routines. A way to build your life back together, although it is easier said than done. When upon doing something, even if that is making a list for yourself, you can't dwell or think about it too much. When you dwell, you put stress on your mind, therefore, you lost motivation. It's better to completely throw your mind away and allow your thoughts to catch up later.
June 28th, 2018 7:24pm
Goals! S- Specific (Not "I want to lose weight" but "I want to lose 10 pounds). M- Measurable (Not "I should exercise more" but "I want to work out three days a week for an hour") A- Attainable (Not "I want to lose 10 lbs this week" but "I want to lose 10 lbs in the next three months) R- Relevant (Not "I want to be an astronaut" but "I want to study space travel and see if it might be a good career for me") T- Time (Not "I want to lose 50 lbs" but "I want to lose 50 lbs in a year") If you make small, achievable goals for yourself you will 1) have reason to celebrate 2) see process 3) feel successful
June 28th, 2018 10:52pm
A way I made my life better was I started helping other people. I realized that I don't have the money to throw at people, yet I have the knowledge. That's why I joined this site. That's why I try to help to as many people as I can. 'Cause I know, if I can stop one person from pulling that trigger, that my life is worth something.
July 4th, 2018 2:15am
In life hope will always be there, no matter how hard it is to find or no matter if you think it isn't there it always will be. This is so cliche but honestly everything will be okay one day. I can't say it will be today, tomorrow or even next week. But one day.
July 4th, 2018 12:15pm
Find things you love and do it passionately.. go do some volunteering, excercising, draw or paint, have fun and be grateful with every small things that happened in your life :)
July 12th, 2018 10:44am
Find a passion. Explore. Simple things like going for a walk, distracting yourself. Find something or continue doing things you love and one day you will be contempt with life.
July 15th, 2018 10:26am
Feel the emotions, I feel like in this day and age people think it's bad to feel sad, it's not. It's here for a reason, learn from it
July 21st, 2018 1:52am
You believe your life is messed up and that motivation is just a temporary fix, and you believe that it is pointless to live like this but do not believe you’re suicidal. I understand your situation completely, I think some ways for you to feel hopeful would be to point out some of the good things in your life and focus on those and less on the negativity around you.
July 25th, 2018 1:32am
I would try setting smaller goals and do things that you like. For example if you like reading, set a goal to read one chapter per day, or if you like painting set a goal to paint for 30 minutes per day. This way you will feel like you are accomplishing something but at the same time it's something you actually enjoy which can be great motivation.
July 25th, 2018 8:53am
I would start making moves to push your life in the direction that you want it to go in. If you don't like your life than you should change it to suit your preferences.
July 28th, 2018 5:42pm
Because a question like this gives ME hope. I know how tough it is, I try so hard and I fail so much.. But the funny thing is, that's why I try. Every time I fail, I feel sad, but then I try to figure out what I learned from those mistakes, and then I'm able to laugh at them and try even more things. We'll never be perfect, but the more we try, the more we impress ourselves and inspire those around us. It feels thankless, but if you keep trying, your effort will one day be appreciated by the right people.
August 4th, 2018 12:30am
Hey, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I used to feel similarly to you. I don't know what your situation is, but if you feel like it's pointless to live like this then maybe that is a wakeup call for you that something in your life needs to change. Possibly multiple things. If you feel everything is messed up, you may just be feeling overwhelmed by all the problems. Almost like all the problems became a tangled ball and you don't even know where to start. That's okay. One step at a time. Focus on the things that are important to you and on the things that you can change to make your life more like how you want it to be. Even if you aren't suicidal, going to a therapist may still help you untangle that web and get a better point of view on where to start. I know it helped me, but if not at least a friend you can trust to gain new insight could be helpful. I think the more you start working on the things you feel are important to you and for your life, even if they are just little things, the more hopeful you'll start to feel. Also, being in a good safe environment can make you feel a lot more hopeful. I used to be in a toxic environment personally and that negativity constantly prevented me from feeling hopeful. So make sure you are in a good environment surrounded by good people. I wish you all the best. Just remember one step at a time. Your life can still be the life you want it to be.
August 10th, 2018 8:19am
Start writing out a bucket list like what are the things you hoped to achieve. Start with smaller goals then proceed to planning bigger goals and be consistent and determined work on the goals. All the best.