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How can I overcome anxiety if I can't talk to a therapist or my own doctor?

278 Answers
Last Updated: 01/03/2021 at 8:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 21st, 2019 11:16am
It's important to talk to whoever you feel comfortable with, It's very normal to not want to talk to certain people about your anxiety, there are many online mental health charities that you could e-mail, message or speak to on the phone anonymously that offer great advice if you don't want to speak anyone in person, but taking the first step by speaking to someone you trust is the most crucial step. It's also important to note that it's absolutely normal to talk about anything that is causing you anxiety or that is playing on your mind and that there are many people out there who are willing to listen and that have experienced similar issues especially on 7 cups, you're definitely not on your own.
jkimz
March 9th, 2019 12:45am
There is an exercise that I did a while ago that was eye-awakening for me. Imagine that you finally got an an interview dream job. You wake up 2 hours early, get ready, play out the interview in your head over and over again. Just as you open your door to step out, however, you see your bag on fire. What is your first thought that comes to mind? How would you interpret this event? This exercise reveals how we think when given a situation we don’t understand nor expect. These incomprehensible and unexpected catch even “normal” off guard and lead them to panic. Predictably, it is worse for people with anxiety, because anxiety creates an irrationally extreme worst-case scenario. When you do this exercise, try to catch any errors in your thoughts. How likely are those thoughts to come true? While there are things that are out of control, what are some things you can do to alleviate the situation? When I had anxiety, my first thought of this event was “of course this would happen to me on this day.” I would instantly lose my motivation and close the front door. Drag my feet to the bed. Not want to come out for days. Then I would feel guilty and regretful for not even going to the interview. For not being as motivated and strong as I should be. I would call in a few days later to apologize. Maybe I won’t even do that. As you can see, anxiety is strongly linked to depression because when we are anxious, we make irrational, regretful decisions that lead to depression. Having anxiety for a long time is like being in a toxic relationship with someone who is constantly telling you to give up, get out, stop trying...So when you do the exercise, try to find where exactly you make your thinking errors before you fall deeper into a downward cycle. Is it that you give up too easily? Is it that you assume nobody will hear you out if something as crazy as this happened? Is it that you don’t look for help when you know you cannot handle this yourself? Is it that you assume you deserve it? Think about them carefully and stop the cycle.
artlover66
March 15th, 2019 1:04am
You could try writing out your feelings and thoughts and, if you feel up to it, share those with your therapist or doctor. You could also work on desensitizing yourself at home by role playing. Ask yourself questions a doctor or therapist might ask you, and then answer them. If anxiety comes up, practice breathing, tapping, or using another coping strategy you have. Once you feel ready, you could try talking to an online therapist, and then move onto a face-to-face doctor or therapist if needed. Remember all change for everyone is scary and we need to take small steps to reach our destination. Start taking some small steps, and you'll be on your way.
Littlehelper77
March 22nd, 2019 9:08pm
I would start with brainstorming. Think about, and figure out your triggers. Figuring out your triggers is important in helping your anxiety. Make a list of your triggers and become aware with them. Whenever you panic, write down what situation you are in, how your body is feeling, and how your mind is feeling. This will help you figure out and document how your attacks affect your body and mind. After completing this, I would make a list of Distraction Methods to try doing when you start to notice panic. This could be holding an ice cube, washing your face with cold water, taking a bath or shower, going for a walk, etc. This will make it easier for you to follow during an attack, rather than attempting to think on the spot while panicking. Then make a Self-Care list to begin practicing, as well as a comfort box to go to while panicking. These take some time to assemble, but are very helpful in the intense moment of panic. In my experience, these have all helped tremendously. Hope this helps!
dxphne
March 28th, 2019 10:26am
Please remember that it's important to seek professional help if your anxiety is bothering you a lot. Professionals know exactly what to do and how to diagnose you. I obviously don't know why you can't go to a therapist or doctor but maybe you could consider speaking to a therapist on 7cups. If you don't feel like you want/can get professional help, you might be able to get help from friends or family. Try dealing with your anxiety in little steps and don't force yourself if things don't feel right at all. You need to feel ready to overcome your fears, otherwise it will just make you very anxious or make the anxiety worse if something happens. Again, I'd still recommend getting professional help in some way.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2019 10:00am
Write down things that make you happy. Take as much as time you want but write it down. Claim a favorite spot in your home and always go and sit there once you feel down. It helps. Take deep breaths and count till 10. Start drinking a lot of water and don't do things that you don't want to. Tell yourself that it's okay to be the way you are everyday. Think about things in a positive way, try finding out the positive aspects of things hold it would help you to a great extent. Pay attention to your hobbies and master in a hobby that you love the most.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2019 4:16pm
A great place to start is re-connecting with yourself to find out which may cause your anxiety and how intense it/they can trigger you. I've been dealing with anxiety by writing journals. At the anxious time, take notes about your feeling and current situation, then by the end of the day write a full page of journal to fully keep track with your anxiety. Also, being able to write down what is on your mind might be a stress-relief activity. I hope that you can add this hobby into your daily life to get know yourself better from time to time so you can overcome anxiety easier.
HxpefulRainbows
May 16th, 2019 3:44pm
Try to take deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Or try to use a stress ball or some kind of putty or slime. It's helped me with my anxiety. Or if you can, you can talk to one of your closest friends or talk to a school counselor if you're a student. Try going for a run or do anything that can take your mind off or relax you. Try doing yoga or listen to calming music or even sleep can work to calm someone down if they become stressed or they become panicked.
Teca1995dreamKiwi4019
May 31st, 2019 8:28am
Overcoming anxiety is a very difficult thing, because anxiety could be a painful thing. During anxiety you could have somatic symptoms as well, for example stomach ache, headache, and so on. It could be a very tiring thing. Against that we could do anything, if we couldn't talk a therapy. Mainly, we can do relaxation exercises. In these exercises, our main goal is to calm down. Beside these, we could do breathing practices. You could take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Last, but not least, know your strengths! Take a few minute, and look at yourself. Look at, what about your strengths. What is your best? It could be helpful!
Anonymous
June 5th, 2019 10:04pm
You can always come on 7 cups and talk to a listener to help you relieve it. Although we cannot give you any advice, we do recommend using the 7 cups anxiety guide to help relieve it. It may seem hard and stressful not being able to talk to your therapist or doctor, but we’re here to help! We’re always here 7 days a week, 24 hours to help you and listen to you when other won’t. I hope you consider coming back and setting up a regular chat time with a listener so you can overcome anxiety with people supporting you!
Anonymous
June 14th, 2019 6:26am
I am no doctor but I can say that good coping skills with help you better manage your anxiety. Everyone is different so every has their own way to handle their emotions. Some examples of healthy coping skills are breathing exercises, mindfulness (being in touch with senses), writing or listing feelings, watching tv, and etc. If you feel comfortable sometimes expressing your feelings to others or using emotional release can help relieve anxiety or any other struggles you may be going through. Sometimes addressing your stress or that makes you anxious and looking at the possible outcomes to show yourself that things aren't as bad as they seem. Hang in there!! I'm rooting for you!! :)
katiehoran
July 6th, 2019 1:23am
When you feel uncomfortable or too anxious to talk to your therapist, it may be easier to approach this issue in a different manner than what may be expected. You could, if you find it easier, write and send an email or letter to your therapist. If this proves to be too terrifying, you could start slow. Talk to your therapist until you feel more comfortable about talking about more serious topics. Anxiety is a hard thing to overcome, especially without assurance by others. Therefore, working your way up to seeking help is hard, but will eventually prove rewarding.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2019 4:45am
When I am feeling anxious, I like the take time aside for myself and reflect on my life. I like do to this by laying in bed with calming music playing, in a warm shower or going on a long drive by myself. Isolating myself and having time to think- just me and my thoughts helps calm me down. Remembering all the good things life has to offer and that I will eventually be able to offer the world helps motivate me and eventually get out of some of my anxiety. Eventually being about to talk to a therapist mixed with some of these things helps me overcome my anxiety.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2019 9:11am
How I overcome my anxiety is that I take up a new hobby or work on my old ones. We need to use this “anxious” energy contructively which will give us a sense of satisfaction and relief. Reading, drawing, listening to music, dancing are all in some form “therapies”. Sports or walking, jogging or running is also a good way to relieve this energy. Distraction would just be temporary. But when we indulge in our hobbies “the things that we enjoy doing”, we get a sense of progress. We dont feel stuck in one place. Another way is to keep a journal. Write down your feelings and let it all out on the paper or talk to a genuine friend or well wisher.
MissLisa
August 9th, 2019 11:49am
We can find talking a very daunting task whenever we are overcome with anxiety but it is important to talk to healthcare professionals. After all it is what they are there for and they have seen and heard it all before. Perhaps you will find it helpful to write down how you are feeling and what you would like your doctor or therapist to know. That way if you arrive and become too overwhelmed you can show them what you have wrote. The main thing is speaking out in whatever form and getting the help and support. You could always try things like heat pads or weighted blankets which often bring those with anxiety comfort.
naturalHoney13
August 16th, 2019 10:02pm
I've learned in my battles with anxiety that the more you try to see it as a 'problem' that needs to be eradicated, the more anxiety you'll have. I have tried to see my anxiety as my bodies' alarm system that something isn't quite right.. just at full volume! Your body is giving you physical signs that something feels off. So if you can take a moment (I like to breathe in for four counts, hold for seven, release for eight- I learned it when I was in therapy) and acknowledge that your feelings are just that-feelings- it'll pass. And then later on when things have calmed down a bit, you can analyze what your mind and body were trying to tell you. My anxiety isn't gone by any means, but I have turned it into a partner instead of a demon. I hope this helps :)
pearlirabor
October 19th, 2019 3:41am
I step I usually take is to notice my feelings when I have anxiety. I acknowledge them, and then find ways to minimize them so that they don't impair my functioning. This looks different for everyone. For some it could be colouring, taking a nap, listening to music, doing dishes. As long as it's constructive, I say go for it. Gradually, you'll be able to talk about it. Anxiety can be a vicious cycle in that you can have anxiety about having anxiety or anxiety about talking about it. It is very scary and I hope everything works out for you!
heartfulVision2255
November 9th, 2019 5:50pm
Breathe deeply and stay focused on the present moment. Anxiety is a feeling and it will pass, as long as you let it. It is quite terrifying and paralyzing in the moment, but if one takes active steps to calm themselves and can act as an observer to their feelings, they will calm down faster. Anxiety can be so terrifying, and I'm sorry that anyone has to deal with it. However it is only a feeling and it is temporary. Focus on the sensations in your body. Try to get out of your head and back into your body with breathing or movement. These things will help.
ceciliaofthesnow
November 30th, 2019 3:23am
It's all about resources! If you are unable to talk to a therapist or doctor, due to a multitude of reasons, there are many resources out there you can turn to. Friends, family, peers. Knowing yourself and identifying why you feel anxious is also incredibly important. If there's something that you know can help ease your anxiety, do it! Take care of yourself like you would a close friend or family member. There are many websites, videos, apps and other things that you can use to help mellow your anxieties. If all else fails, try something new to manage your anxiety and be mindful about what you're feeling!
blindSong2199
January 8th, 2020 5:46am
Try to contact a friend you feel free to talk,family members can help as well,do what makes you feel clam and try to concentrate on some activities, Try to derive your mind on other topics by making your focus toward it,and look after yourself because your the one who can make it happen,I know sometimes it hard to get time for all this stuff but you can manage at least some time for youself,if your a gamer then play them when you'r free,have a cup of coffee with your love ones,feel free to ask for help there is nothing to feel embarrassed of everyone go through something hard for them to deal with.
gentleSun78
January 22nd, 2020 7:06am
There are many self help guides on anxiety which can be very helpful. There is one on 7cups. You can also read many good books on cognitive behavioural therapy, such as Cognitive behavioural therapy for dummies. It is a very insightful and gives you powerful tools to deal with anxiety. Consider also doing more self care as self care improves your emotional well being too. Consider more exercising (moderate physical activity every day at least 30 mins), healthy eating, sleeping well, good personal hygiene, being active through day, distracting self from overthinking, meditation, mindfulness (for latter 7cups is awesome source), etc.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2020 5:21am
There are actually many exercises you can try out, they don't always work for everyone, but worth a shot. It also depends on what really gives you anxiety, I'd also think. Because I've read up on trying to conquer those specific fears slowly, so that confidence can be built up the more you come across said situation. For example, social anxiety. That one can be where you're fearful of quite a few things, like public speaking, talking to someone new, or even just worrying about what people will say/think about you. It's all different, so depending on the anxiety you're experiencing, how you'll deal with it will vary. Anxiety can be difficult, but I believe in you!
bellarina74
January 31st, 2020 3:05pm
You can try to overcome your anxiety by speaking with your peers or finding a chat room where there may be someone that has had similar experiences to yourself. Sometimes you will find that another person may deal with something that is new and different way to how you have been doing things. Having the ability to simply even ask for help when you need it is half the battle. The weight you are feeling will feel like it is lifting when you share your problems or issues. Asking questions and seeking answers is healthy and there is never a stupid question. Not asking or seeking help is an unproductive way of doing things. Ask people you trust or people that you know have had similar problems or experiences though. This is called lived experience. You can read a text book and try to apply things but sometimes this is not a good reflection of what is actually happening.
lifeshopefulundertone2
February 1st, 2020 11:57pm
I know it's tough when you can't talk to your therapist or doctor, so if i were you, i'd look up coping strategies online and create a good support for yourself. Not only that, you can do small exercises with yourself, like pushing your limits just a tiny bit, and keep reminding yourself you're going to make it. I know it sounds cheesy, but coping strategies and mindfullness exercises actually really help! Start by coming here, on 7cups and making those goal thingys. Create a diary where you write down what you feel in that day or even a symptom diary so you can track your progress!! best of luck
delightfulName4913
February 19th, 2020 11:09pm
Try breathing exercises, it is also important to be physically active every day this will help calm you down. Having a good diet is also essential for anxiety and overall mental health wellness. Talking to family and friends about it can also help you find a good outcome and may even convince you to seek help from a therapist or a doctor. Remember they are there to help you do not feel ashamed for seeking help. That is the first path you can choose for a good life. At last, make sure you are getting enough sleep for a healthy life.
bountifulDreamer46
February 28th, 2020 10:12am
It's really rough when you feel like there's literally no one you can talk to about the things you're going through. What's worked for me is finding a safe space when I get anxious. That helps calm the initial issues. But then, I have to think. What made me anxious? Why am I upset about this? What is worrying me? If I can come up with the reasons I'm anxious (and trust me, this took a lot of time and practice) I feel like I'm more able to deal with it. I can look at the situation and figure out what's going on and how to fix it so it doesn't scare the hell out of me. Or sometimes, I just figure out how to get away from a situation that causes me anxiety. Most of working it out for me came from just getting to know myself and figuring out why I had the reactions I did.
pazara
March 4th, 2020 7:57pm
It's really hard to overcome anxiety if you can't talk to a therapist or doctor. If you have a really good friend that you trust and that understands you, maybe talk to them about your anxiety because talking about it is a way of release and it helps a lot. However, if you don't like talking about it to anyone, try writing down how you feel in like a journal or diary and that can also help you to release your feelings. But on a piece of paper that no one is allowed to read. Another way to help decrease anxiety is by talking to a website like this one because you are talking to people who feel the same way about you. You might also feel more confident because they are strangers and don't know who you are pr what you look like.
KindFall5330
March 15th, 2020 1:29pm
Talking about mental health issues is super daunting. Coming from personal experience it took me a long time to trust trained professionals. But remember, their job is to help you. They have no malicious intent, but rather they want to see you heal. So as a tip, try writing down what you want to say in a letter/list and bringing it to the appointment. It always helps to come prepared to an appointment to ease anxiety. But if getting over the big hurtle is your hardest challenge, talk to one of our listeners and they can support you in the journey. Please remember that, we want to see you anxiety-free, we want you to heal. :)
PurpleEnglobe
March 20th, 2020 3:18pm
Get a self help app there are dozens of them. Learn how to breathe properly and try not to self medicate its not a long term solution. It is only temoprary and will not fix the underlying causes of anxiety. Anxiety is mangageable with the right tools you just need to find the right ones for youself and keep up with the good work that has to be put into maintaining a healthy approach to your own mental state and monitor it so that things dont escalate out of control. Give yourself a treat and take care of your own needs.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2020 12:13pm
You don’t need a doctor or therapist to overcome anxiety. Sometimes you just need a friendly ear who is happy to listen. Talk to a friend, someone you trust, someone you know will listen openly. Unload and talk without fear. And know that you’re not alone in what may often feel like a big world. There are people who share your exact same thoughts. And feeling anxiety is a natural response and is okay. Being able to recognise you’re feeling uneasy and finding ways to relieve this feeling is the first step to overcoming anxiety. Take it slow and know that people are here for you.