How to forget my one-sided love?
Last Updated: 01/02/2021 at 1:01am
Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
It can be hard to move on from unrequited or one-sided love. Often, when we feel a certain way for someone, and they don't feel that way towards us, we wish we could simply "forget" them, or the way we feel towards them. Unfortunately, actually "forgetting" can prove a difficult task. There are ways we can move on, but seldom do they involve really actually "forgetting". Instead, we can realize what the relationship is truly meant to be. Does the person wish to be a friend, an acquaintance, or something else? Once we understand someone else's goals for the mutual friendship/relationship, we can begin to reset our expectations. We should accept a person's willingness (or unwillingness) to play a certain role (or not) in our lives. This is a form of honoring their consent. Once we accept what they are able and willing to be, we can begin the process of resetting the relationship (or lack thereof) to reflect that. This means, among other things, adjusting our expectations of the person and the relationship.
It's a different process for everyone and generally just requires time. I suggest looking into the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy guide and Grief guide here on 7 cups. Consider focusing on self-care for a while, such as in taking time to do things you enjoy or build new habits, like gratitude journalling or exercising. You could also try strengthening your current relationships with friends and family or building new connections. Even going back into the dating pool is an option so that you can build some autonomy and control by taking action to meet more new people, which will increase the chance that you find someone you can connect deeply with.
When you are facing issues due to unrequited love, it is easier to let go of the trouble than to hold on to it in false hopes. A rebound is not the answer to forgetting onesided love. You can never really forget love. So, you decide to grow from it. Learn from it. And make a change in your life that hates to look back in regret. Make this change sustainable and help yourself stay happy and positive by looking straight ahead. Treat all the obstacles like adversities. Grow from embarrassments- call them experiences. Be mindful at all times. Calm yourself down instead of panicking. Talk instead of staying low-key and reserved. It is okay to be sad for some time, everyone is. B
I was in your shoes once upon a time trying to overcome by reading books, articles on google and motivational videos. so i can give u things to do I don't know if these will help you out, but they did for me. 1. Tell Them : No matter, what will happen just tell them about how you feel. Personally 2. Don't push yourself too hard 3. Write on the blank space : There may be moments like flashbacks of him/her in the middle of a night around 2am , memories of how you felt his/her presence ,how you watched him/her breathing air around you, conversations ,laughter, and everything that you miss or feel resonating about him/her. Just find a notebook or apps like OneNote and write down everything arranging into a poem or story or journal. After a year or later, if you find time to read them, you will be surprised to see that you've grown stronger. 4. Don't harm yourself : I never did nor I want you to hurt yourself . Your biological body is worth more than the finest of best AI robots or heavenly riches of Earth. And the person who doesn't love you will not love you even if you die or harm yourself. They might end up having grief. And I don't think you'll be happy to see them sad or crying
You don’t have to forget them. I mean loving someone is quite a big deal. I think trying to forget is quite humanly impossible especially if they meant so much to you so instead you should try to work through the pain you feel for it being a one-sided love. Why do you want to think about them less? I think this is sometimes similar to just going through a breakup so I would think of the reasons why things are not working out or really face the facts. “This person does not love me and so I deserve to find love that is two-sided.”
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