I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

168 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2019 at 3:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
YuukiKuran1996
August 12th, 2016 12:17pm
Tell him how you feel . Be honest with him and there might be a chance fot you to get back together good luck ;)
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 2:46am
If you regret breaking up, express this to your ex. Keeping this to yourself only will torture youself with 'what if's'
Anonymous
August 15th, 2016 8:52pm
Try talking to him/her and say how you've been feeling! Maybe they share the same feelings as you, because they weren't the ones who chose to break up.
wonderousWhisper18
August 27th, 2016 3:42pm
well then you should call them and and fix the situation if they are willing to do that and have still feeling
TheLuckyFox
September 4th, 2016 7:14am
Sometimes we can feel feelings from our past... Sometimes these are residual, sometimes these are merely results of habit, sometimes it's a residual flame, and sometimes it's comfort in what you previously knew... But the truth is, you know what is right for you... You know what your should do... Maybe that's playing a song from a boom box outside their bedroom window like in that movie, or maybe it's getting back into a saying scene... Be cautious, friend, but don't be afraid!
blackwingss
September 4th, 2016 9:48pm
If you still love your ex and think things can work out this time, I think you should tell him/her. Tell him/her you regret breaking up wit him/her, that you miss him/her and still love him/her (if that's the case). Explain why you thought it was the right thing to do when you broke things off and tell him/her why you've changed your mind. If he/she still feels the same way, I'm sure he/she will forgive you and you two will make up and make things work. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I wish you the best!
taniaviridiana
September 9th, 2016 3:17am
I shoul talk to him, ask for forgiveness and hope for the best. If is not for me move on and feel bad for some time and get over it.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2016 1:38am
Writing a letter always helps for you or if you consider sharing it with him / others. It is important to let everything out.
chiotchae
September 10th, 2016 3:39am
Breakups are tough, and after breaking up, it can come to you that it was not worth it. You can try to reach out to your ex, and talk it out. Communication in a relationship is very important, and you shouldn't have to be regretting it and worrying about it alone. After talking it out, it may be clear that you guys were never meant to break up and can fight through things together
StayPositiveFriend
September 12th, 2016 1:50pm
First ask yourself if you really regret it or are just feeling lonely. The change from "in a relationship" to "single" can be quite jarring. You go from sharing your life and intimacy to being alone and this is rarely a pleasant transition. Trying to get back together again is not a good idea in this case because its likely that some time later you will end up at the same conclusion and break their heart again. Best to move past this, spend time with friends and family to avoid feeling lonely and, when you feel ready for it, try going on a date again. Bonus tip: being single is a great time to rediscover yourself, who you are as a person instead of who you are as one half of the relationship. This can really help when starting a new relationship in the future because 1 thing to avoid is starting a relationship and comparing your new partner to the old with everything they do.
Anonymous
September 19th, 2016 4:01pm
You should think about why you broke up with him/her and if the reasons seem meaningless,try to approach them but becareful they might have change their mind about you too!
Anonymous
September 24th, 2016 12:54am
Call you're ex at the first instance and state how you feel. Trying is always better than regrets ..
Godlovesus
September 24th, 2016 5:48pm
Go and talk to that person but do not force him/her to accept you,if they say that they aren't interested or have moved on then you must accept the fact. Go and talk with an open mind.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2016 11:11am
I can really understand that feeling. I think you need to reassess the reasons you broke up with them in the first place and ask yourself if you miss them or the relationship itself.
Anonymous
October 31st, 2016 8:06am
You should talk to your ex. Tell him/her that maybe you were just clouded with emotions when you said that. And if she understands, give the relationship another chance. But if not, leave.
generousWaterfall39
December 10th, 2016 12:57am
It depends. Do you remember the reasons you left? Sometimes people miss being with someone and forget the reasons things were not working well. Time and introspection help with this. It is also a two way street. Your ex may or may not be able to return to the relationship. Either way, be sure you respect yourself as well as your ex. Be honest, communicate and know that you want to try to reconcile for the right reasons.
Taurus26
December 10th, 2016 5:21pm
If you still think that there is a scope of getting back together, make the possible efforts. If you think you have hurt your ex Do whatever you can to fix it Tell them that how much you love them and how difficult it is to be without them.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2017 8:53pm
Tell your ex how you feel and ask if you can spend some time with them. There's nothing wrong with building your relationship back up but if your ex doesn't want to gt back with you then you shouldn't push it.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2017 10:29pm
If you broke up with your ex due to a negative reason (i.e. cheating on you, abusing you, etc..) then you most definitely should not regret breaking up with your ex. If there wasn't really a particular reason, then you should just try to talk things out with your ex.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2017 2:36pm
Depends on the way you broke up with them and the duration since your breakup. If the breakup was an emotional decision in an angry moment for any reason; disloyalty included, it'd be relatively easier to return back together once both sides are calm and one side takes the initiative in bringing it up for a mature discussion about what happened and try to find out the possibilities of weather what happened can be overlooked in favour of continuing the relationship or if ending it is better so both sides won't have to endure stress that relationships are meant to counter . Of course Time plays a major role here, you can't just disappear for a year and come back without fear :p ! The second scenario is a bit messy; and I mean if both/either one of them had thought it all out and gradually lost interest in their partner (or in each other), and once it was all done they regret they might have done a mistake, they regret not appreciating the person they had with them! An apology simply won't cut it(except if your partner is really mad in love with you and couldn't just move on, would be easier to apologise and get embraced again :) ). This second case is a bit tricky, and quite Difficult to tackle ; nonetheless; there is always hope! One should improvise and tackle the situation according to their understanding of their partner and the circumstances in which the events took place, no one else can do that for ya! Good luck
Dingleberrez
July 14th, 2017 7:28am
Relationships can be really tough because there never seems to be a right answer. Search for what you really need in a relationship versus what you're willing to give up for someone you care about. Clearing up your own needs will help you decide what to do next.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2017 5:58am
Talk it out with your ex and see what they think as well. If they want to get back together, see what happens from there.
Moonquake
September 24th, 2017 1:27pm
Well, first you really need to sit down and think about the breakup; I mean, was there a huge dealbreaker that made the breakup inevitable? If you think the relationship has scope for working out, reach out to them and talk things out. Hope for the best
BubbleGumKissxoxo
November 11th, 2017 9:45pm
maybe speak to the person. Tell them how you are feeling and be honest. Try to show them empathy. Imagine if that person broke up with you, how would you feel and how could that person resolve it with you or how would you like that person to approach you. Also, it is good to respect that person's space.
cylll
November 16th, 2017 3:41pm
They say everything happens for a reason. You might regret it now but it might be a blessing in disguise in the future. If you have a solid reason why you broke up with your ex in the past then trust your past self's decision and try to move on and better yourself.
divinewillpower86
March 3rd, 2018 6:56am
Well talking about past relationships people learn a lot from them. For each one relationship values differ. I guess somewhere your heart has realised that your ex is still your present and the way he/she behaved in the past n still the way they behaving like a gentleman / good girl like no hurt feelings or text messages, you are ready to look for him/her. You can think of trying to communicate with him her by a simple text message n later asking for a short meeting.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2018 6:47pm
That is something you must accept and take responsibility for the choice you made. Even if you regret it.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2018 5:05pm
Do you really regret it or because you feel lonely right now and can’t adapt with the sudden change from being in relationship to be single? You are the only one who know the answer. If you really regret it because she/he is a wonderful person and you just realize it now, try to get them back. But if it’s too late, you need to move on
Aware52
October 10th, 2018 8:09am
You were once sure about doing it. Why are you now second guessing your decision. Do not go back on your own words and ideas, you are just missing the good times, that is natural. You had your reasons for breaking up, keep revisiting them and stay true to yourself, these feelings will pass, they are natural. We all second guess our feelings at some point in time, you are just human, do not worry about you're conflicting messages you are getting change can sometimes be scary and your unconscious mind do not like being scared but also your unconscious mind cannot argue as to why you should not be with your ex but it knows that you feel scared stuck worried or lonely and it wants to fix it in the easiest way possible way, going back.
colorfulUnicorn23
November 14th, 2018 9:53am
Regret over s break up is very normal, You need to ask yourself a few questions. 1. What pushed you over the edge to leave? 2. Would you go back to the person at that point of time? 3. What is making you regret that decision? 4. If the same situation occurs again, what would you do? the answers to these questions will tell you how valid your decision was or is and is the reason good enough to go back and if you get a convincing answer to those questions and you feel that the relationship deserves a chance go back! I personally feel that somebody becomes an ex for a reason and no reason is ever going to be good enough to go to a place you left by choice!