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I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

185 Answers
Last Updated: 04/29/2020 at 6:07pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
paperCrane15
July 15th, 2016 12:22am
Depends on the entire history of your relationship. I think it is better to talk to someone about it.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2016 7:04am
you should confront him how you feel about this relationship and try to fix things if possible by asking him
Tsol7Wolfeu
July 29th, 2016 9:05pm
If it was a harsh break-up/unstable relationship - anything involving cheating or constant arguments or any type of abuse or where the two of you were just not happy, I'd say accept and acknowledge your regret and try to move on. What has been done is done and you can't really go back to that moment. If it was a stable relationship, first see if you truly do miss your 'ex' or if you are just yearning for affection/attention. Don't be making a second mistake. If you do miss your 'ex' truly, then confront them about how you feel (calmly and respectively). Do not yell/lash-out or constantly be apologizing. Explain to them about what you miss and how it has been on you. But don't forget to listen to your partner too. Relationships require mutual consent. If they don't want to get back together with you after you have tried talking/persuading them, then it means you should let go. Pretty much, if it was an unstable or unhealthy relationship. Don't go back to it. If it was a stable and healthy relationship. Communicate with each other calmly to hear what you both feel or have to say. I wish you the best of luck for your future days.
holdonloveneverends
July 31st, 2016 4:53pm
If you really are still in love with him, try to contact him or ask him out again and explain the situation and see how it goes from there. :)
YuukiKuran1996
August 12th, 2016 12:17pm
Tell him how you feel . Be honest with him and there might be a chance fot you to get back together good luck ;)
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 2:46am
If you regret breaking up, express this to your ex. Keeping this to yourself only will torture youself with 'what if's'
believe222
August 25th, 2016 6:36pm
if you want your ex back why don't you try and meet up with your ex and sit down and try and talk it out and see if you guys can get back together .
Phillestertheangel
September 9th, 2016 11:16pm
Don't get back together. If you broke up with them before, it was for a good reason. If you date them again, you will have the same problems.
chiotchae
September 10th, 2016 3:39am
Breakups are tough, and after breaking up, it can come to you that it was not worth it. You can try to reach out to your ex, and talk it out. Communication in a relationship is very important, and you shouldn't have to be regretting it and worrying about it alone. After talking it out, it may be clear that you guys were never meant to break up and can fight through things together
StayPositiveFriend
September 12th, 2016 1:50pm
First ask yourself if you really regret it or are just feeling lonely. The change from "in a relationship" to "single" can be quite jarring. You go from sharing your life and intimacy to being alone and this is rarely a pleasant transition. Trying to get back together again is not a good idea in this case because its likely that some time later you will end up at the same conclusion and break their heart again. Best to move past this, spend time with friends and family to avoid feeling lonely and, when you feel ready for it, try going on a date again. Bonus tip: being single is a great time to rediscover yourself, who you are as a person instead of who you are as one half of the relationship. This can really help when starting a new relationship in the future because 1 thing to avoid is starting a relationship and comparing your new partner to the old with everything they do.
Godlovesus
September 24th, 2016 5:48pm
Go and talk to that person but do not force him/her to accept you,if they say that they aren't interested or have moved on then you must accept the fact. Go and talk with an open mind.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2016 11:11am
I can really understand that feeling. I think you need to reassess the reasons you broke up with them in the first place and ask yourself if you miss them or the relationship itself.
adorableFaith57
March 11th, 2017 9:37pm
Ending a relationship is hard, whether it was your decision or the other person’s decision. You may be dealing with painful emotions and want to deal with those feelings as quickly as possible. There are several ways that you can work through your painful emotions and start to move on, such as writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and being cautious about rebound relationships. Keep in mind that getting over a breakup takes time and patience. If things don’t seem to get better with time, remember that you can always turn to friends, family, or even a mental health professional for support.
Aware52
October 10th, 2018 8:09am
You were once sure about doing it. Why are you now second guessing your decision. Do not go back on your own words and ideas, you are just missing the good times, that is natural. You had your reasons for breaking up, keep revisiting them and stay true to yourself, these feelings will pass, they are natural. We all second guess our feelings at some point in time, you are just human, do not worry about you're conflicting messages you are getting change can sometimes be scary and your unconscious mind do not like being scared but also your unconscious mind cannot argue as to why you should not be with your ex but it knows that you feel scared stuck worried or lonely and it wants to fix it in the easiest way possible way, going back.
colorfulUnicorn23
November 14th, 2018 9:53am
Regret over s break up is very normal, You need to ask yourself a few questions. 1. What pushed you over the edge to leave? 2. Would you go back to the person at that point of time? 3. What is making you regret that decision? 4. If the same situation occurs again, what would you do? the answers to these questions will tell you how valid your decision was or is and is the reason good enough to go back and if you get a convincing answer to those questions and you feel that the relationship deserves a chance go back! I personally feel that somebody becomes an ex for a reason and no reason is ever going to be good enough to go to a place you left by choice!
TobiasNorth
August 3rd, 2016 12:30am
Tell them. The worst that can happen is they don't feel the same, but you remain being friends (or in an extremely worst case scenario, they stop talking to you altogether), but the best case scenario is that they also regret breaking up and want to give your relationship another go. Telling them you want to get back together, even if it doesn't bring the desired result, will make you feel a lot better than keeping it to yourself and living your life wondering 'what if?".
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 6:50pm
You should talk to your ex see if he still feels the same about you even if you do you regret it it may have been the right thing to do
Anonymous
August 15th, 2016 8:52pm
Try talking to him/her and say how you've been feeling! Maybe they share the same feelings as you, because they weren't the ones who chose to break up.
wonderousWhisper18
August 27th, 2016 3:42pm
well then you should call them and and fix the situation if they are willing to do that and have still feeling
TheLuckyFox
September 4th, 2016 7:14am
Sometimes we can feel feelings from our past... Sometimes these are residual, sometimes these are merely results of habit, sometimes it's a residual flame, and sometimes it's comfort in what you previously knew... But the truth is, you know what is right for you... You know what your should do... Maybe that's playing a song from a boom box outside their bedroom window like in that movie, or maybe it's getting back into a saying scene... Be cautious, friend, but don't be afraid!
blackwingss
September 4th, 2016 9:48pm
If you still love your ex and think things can work out this time, I think you should tell him/her. Tell him/her you regret breaking up wit him/her, that you miss him/her and still love him/her (if that's the case). Explain why you thought it was the right thing to do when you broke things off and tell him/her why you've changed your mind. If he/she still feels the same way, I'm sure he/she will forgive you and you two will make up and make things work. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I wish you the best!
taniaviridiana
September 9th, 2016 3:17am
I shoul talk to him, ask for forgiveness and hope for the best. If is not for me move on and feel bad for some time and get over it.
Anonymous
September 19th, 2016 4:01pm
You should think about why you broke up with him/her and if the reasons seem meaningless,try to approach them but becareful they might have change their mind about you too!
Anonymous
September 24th, 2016 12:54am
Call you're ex at the first instance and state how you feel. Trying is always better than regrets ..
Jbthai
October 22nd, 2016 5:53pm
There are a lot of variables to account for. Ask yourself appropriate questions that you need to answer to. Why did you break up with your ex? What is holding me back from moving on? Was being with my ex making me unhappy with who I was when I was with him? My advice is to not rush into getting back with your ex, but to take time thinking about your well-being and whether your reasons for regretting breaking up is due to loneliness or something else.
Anonymous
October 31st, 2016 8:06am
You should talk to your ex. Tell him/her that maybe you were just clouded with emotions when you said that. And if she understands, give the relationship another chance. But if not, leave.
generousWaterfall39
December 10th, 2016 12:57am
It depends. Do you remember the reasons you left? Sometimes people miss being with someone and forget the reasons things were not working well. Time and introspection help with this. It is also a two way street. Your ex may or may not be able to return to the relationship. Either way, be sure you respect yourself as well as your ex. Be honest, communicate and know that you want to try to reconcile for the right reasons.
Taurus26
December 10th, 2016 5:21pm
If you still think that there is a scope of getting back together, make the possible efforts. If you think you have hurt your ex Do whatever you can to fix it Tell them that how much you love them and how difficult it is to be without them.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2017 8:53pm
Tell your ex how you feel and ask if you can spend some time with them. There's nothing wrong with building your relationship back up but if your ex doesn't want to gt back with you then you shouldn't push it.
Lya
April 27th, 2017 9:05pm
Really reflect on the relationship. Was the break-up valid? What would the two of you have to do differently to move forward? Is this the person you genuinely want to be with for a while? If you really want the relationship talk to your ex about it and see if it's salvageable. If it's not, you'll still be okay.