First off, please consider this question a blessing as well as a growth opportunity, and not a negative experience. The reason I say that is that entering into any relationship where you take the approach that “you are not good enough” is not healthy for you for one major reason: this type of thinking forms “attachments” instead of “connections.” Attachments require that one of the two in the relationship take on a superior role which instantly puts the relationship out of balance and it starts heading for the pain dumpster before it even grew legs to run. If you approach the relationship from the viewpoint of a “connection” the relationship will naturally be in balance and will prosper and allow both people to grow at their natural pace while being accepted by the other person. So, if you change that one statement of “I am not good enough” to “I believe I can give my all to this relationship” then you’ve just started the connection on healthy grounds.
As for the “you are not good enough” belief you need to spend some time looking into your past, reviewing the life experiences that you have had that have brought you to this lie that you believe about yourself. You are good enough. I don’t need to know you to believe this fact. You are GOOD ENOUGH! Do a life review, on paper or on the computer. List all your friends, everywhere you’ve lived, how you view your parents and siblings, etc. Make the list as inclusive as possible. This part of this list has a purpose, it sets up reinforcement for you by listing all the good and positive things, experiences and people that have come into or are still in your life. Then, with that as a base focus on the things that hurt you in the past. Maybe you were picked on as a kid because you were a better soccer player, or always blew the bell curve on tests. What specific things did your friends or “enemies” as a kid growing up tell you, that you believed were true, but are lies. Powerful lies because you have accepted them for all these years. Write those lies out on a piece of paper or on a computer and review them. See them for what they really are, baseless accusations and words that have damaged you in many ways. Forgive the person or people who said or did them to you and let it go. You are past those experiences now and are no longer that person. You are BETTER!
Once you deal with your past focus on the positive qualities you have now. What do you have to offer someone? This will take some digging and may not be easy, but it will be a lot easier if you took the time to complete the life review process listed above. Make a list of 10 things you are good “for” (not “at”). What do you do to help people? How are you considerate and helpful? What are your plans short and long term to give back to the community, and to the world? What do you do to help yourself and show self-love? You will find no greater fulfillment in life than helping others, even if it’s something simple. If you don’t have much of a list, create new ideas and put them on the list. Then go out into the world and do those. Get the experience! Volunteer to help. Help a neighbor with a project. Check on an elderly neighbor, maybe mow their lawn. The list of “good” things you can do for people are endless, and with the amount of people on this planet that list should be easy to fulfill. When you feel good about yourself and see the good you can do and who you are, you will no longer feel like “you are not good enough” ever again.
And, this person you currently feel “you are not good enough” for, include them in this exercise. Help them to grow, help them to not only experience themselves, but get a chance to get to know you as well. This is a huge, and easy way to begin building a relationship, even if it only results in friendship. You will both be better people and have that memory and experience of having shared that growth together. A beautiful, fulfilling experience to say the least.
Believe in yourself. Believe you are good. Believe you deserve love. All of these are true, and not a single person on 7cups will contradict this statement. I wish you luck on your journey of shedding the old and experiencing who you were meant to be. Oh, and by the way, when that old companion named “Fear” comes around, tell him you’re busy and don’t have time for him. Kick him off your porch and tell him never to come back, because he will only rob you of what you really want.