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Why do I hate myself so much?

253 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2020 at 6:15am
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
shannon3546
May 13th, 2020 2:06am
you don't hate yourself! your brain is tricking you, playing games all because it dosent know how to handle the emotion. You are perfect in every single way I know its hard to see at this very moment in time but it is true, I promise better days are coming, I myself once hated me I had a hatred so strong for myself it just took over I would constantly bring myself down, look in the mirrior and just cry my eyes out asking myself why why is it like this why can I love myself, anf thats the day that changed my life thats the day I reached out for help. And you can too !!
marieballet
July 1st, 2020 3:35pm
I am so sorry to hear that you feel that way. It can be hard to feel positive about ourselves, and I can really relate coming from a background with a long history of eating disorders. You seem to get so fixated on your imperfections and let harmful words (or words you have manipulated or interpreted as being harmful) linger within you. However, I always try to remember that there is someone who would cry for me if I were to cease to exist and if there is at least one person, whether it be your mom, your best friend, or your pet, you really do matter. If you are providing positivity to this world, then why hate yourself? There is no reason to. No one is perfect, and we could spend all day describing our imperfections, but instead, it is much more worthwhile to stay positive and embrace ourselves. We have to take one step at a time, to recognize our good qualities and learn to love ourselves. I myself am a huge culprit of ignoring my positive attributes, but I always try to say them out loud to myself when I feel like I am no good. Hope that helps :)
bethevans525
July 12th, 2020 11:29pm
In the past, I have often looked down upon myself because I didn't believe I was good enough. This related to being good at school work, being good at getting a boyfriend and having good friendships. I would often get down on myself for looking a certain way, and criticise my looks and my actions repeatedly. I think I hated myself because I was constantly comparing myself to others, for instance on social media, and this gave me an unrealistic view of how I was supposed to look and act. I think we're often hard on ourselves because of an innate desire to be the best person we can possibly be, but often that isn't good for us and our mental health.
Anonymous
July 17th, 2020 12:57pm
It’s hard to avoid comparing yourself to others. We all do it from time to time — at work, at school, with friends, on social media. But this act of constantly evaluating how you measure up can have a big impact on your mental health and how you see yourself. A simple “I’ll never look like Marissa,” can quickly spiral into “I’ll never be good enough for anyone.” Before you know it, just looking at yourself in the mirror can trigger thoughts of self-hatred and frustration. These feelings can be particularly distressing if you already live with a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression.If you’re unsure if you’re experiencing self-hatred, you can check for a few of the common symptoms: All or nothing statements. You see your life as a list of ultimatums, most of them resulting in catastrophe. For example, “If I fail this exam, I’ll flunk out of college and be a total loser.” Only focusing on the negative. It doesn’t matter how good your day was — sunshine, ice cream, puppies — all you can think about is what went wrong. Believing a feeling is a fact. Instead of “I feel like a failure,” you think, “I am a failure.” Low self-esteem. You don’t feel like you’re good enough to be around friends and family, to apply for new jobs, or to put yourself out there for new opportunities. If this all sounds familiar, don’t panic. Things might feel overwhelming right now, but trust us: You are worthy of love, especially from yourself.
calmPudding1286
July 23rd, 2020 8:16am
You hate yourself because you refuse to see your value. You undersell yourself in the belief that you don't deserve self love. You disregard your value as a person because you long to be wanted. It might be because you seek love externally instead of seeking it internally. For you to be able to love yourself you must be able to embrace your flaws and imperfections. Instead of looking down on yourself because you're imperfect, make it a motivation to embrace the entirety of yourself even more. Fill your self with love and kidness by telling yourself in the mirror that you are worth of self love and kidness
Anonymous
August 29th, 2020 12:10am
We can never hate ourselves, we might always like an idea or someone more that we try to become and change to be that way. Self-criticism is a way of letting yourself down and forming a hate towards yourself. Instead pointing out a negative fact about yourself try to create and achieve positive facts and see the change of your mindset about yourself. Always remember nothing is better than another nor is something perfect. Its all a mind game and its our responsibility to make a change and have the control. Always smile and appreciate who you are cause you wouldn't be better any other way.
Ayodeji
September 2nd, 2020 1:24pm
You just haven't discovered the real you. Have you been forcing yourself to fit in lately or wanting to impress other? You are the only you and that's where your true happiness lies. Never be pressured into being like others or someone. Not even your role models. Your role models are examples to keep you in check. Explore. Find out what you love. Come out of that she'll and live your live to the modest. You live for you. Not because someone said you should live a way. You live for you and create your style. Be good
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2020 7:09pm
It's not that you hate yourself, its more likely that you are comparing yourself to others and are focusing on what you aren't, or are feeling like you can't live up to standards set by yourself or others around you. Maybe you have bad habits that make you feel down or are surrounding yourself with negative people. But take a deep breath, you can change this! Take care of yourself and your body, surround yourself with positive people and environments, and do something you truly enjoy! You are a wonderfully unique person and this world needs you! Take small steps each day to improve your habits and life, and you will learn to be okay with who you are, and come to love yourself.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2020 9:37pm
There can be a lot of reasons for this including but not limited to the fact your life might have programed that to be automatic. ACT works wonders. A more scientific reason is memory. We remember negative things more than positive ones because the negative things once upon a time were key to our survival. We needed to remember if we ate a certain food it would make us sick, or when we slept a certain place we were attacked, or when we said a certain thing or behaved a certain way something negative occurred. Our brains also remember things about ourselves more easily than other people, as humans, we are programmed to be very self-involved creatures. The combination of these things means it's easier for us to remember negative feelings, negative situations, negative attributes than positive ones. We let go of good things more easily and focus on the bad. If you combine this with an environment that made us already feel bad about ourselves we can develop an inward self-hate talk. This talk tries to punish us for the things we feel are negative, and it ignores the good because it's not concerned about it. If you are able to try to pay attention to the thoughts you think inside, do a thought experiment when you can to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself, if I were not me, and my friend had done this how would I feel? Would I be more understanding? Would it be easier for me to support them or forgive them? Would I feel like they need forgiveness or had done anything wrong? Re-programing the hate speech we tell ourselves is a difficult process but it can significantly help us with self hate.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2020 8:08pm
I cannot say I know why we have so much disdain for ourselves with certainty. In my past, I found it was primarily due to a lack of value I placed in myself. When the world gives you lemons making lemonade can be hard to do alone, when you do not feel support, and do not feel you can make a difference. It is still something that is not always easy to overcome, but I found what helps me most is to remind myself of my value and to keep moving with goals that will be beneficial for my future. I also heard a phrase that has not escaped me. "No one is here by chance."
KayleeVolunteers
October 10th, 2020 7:21pm
That is a really tough one. Know that you are human; it is okay to feel these feelings, and it is completely normal. I think we all struggle to love ourselves. After all, we are our own worst enemy. Learning to love yourself is no a quick fix; it takes time and patience. Some days are harder than other while other days are easier. There are many great exercises out there to help improve your self-esteem. I suggest that every day find one thing you like about yourself and it can't be the same thing you said the day before.
katherine081902
October 11th, 2020 9:17pm
We are our own harshest critics. It's cheesy, but it's true. I don't think anyone truly HATES themselves, I think that we all have or still do hate some things that we do, or some things about our bodies, but as a whole I don't think anyone can really HATE all of themselves. Some reasons for this might be that people comment on something that you do and it makes you self conscious so you hate it and you want to change it or you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. Finding yourself is a hard thing to do, once you do, though, it is much easier to love yourself. Try finding something about you to embrace and love, that will spread. Be optimistic :)
Anonymous
November 26th, 2020 6:15am
I hate that I have so many insecurities and that I cannot let go of them they are affecting my life, even my productivity. I also hate that I am unattractive and ugly that no guy would want to date me or be with me.... I wish I can remove this hatred. I wish I can be more loving and forgiving. I wish I can be more compassionate and wise in life. I love people but sometimes it is hard to love myself. I always give other people the power to affect my emotions and thoughts. Sometimes, I allow them to affect my behaviors and self-esteem as well.