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Why do I hate myself so much?

253 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2020 at 6:15am
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
TheGavin
July 20th, 2016 1:59pm
Because you are a stranger to yourself. Would you trust any stranger in your head? Get to know yourself. Attach onto a hobby. Explore talents you have yet to discover. Know yourself before you can love :) just like every stranger in the world you now love. It takes time :)
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2016 6:31pm
My constant negative thoughts and me trying to be good for completing someone else's expectations is what leads me to hate myself. It is not the fact that I am not good enough for me. Its knowing that I am not good enough for someone else.
kindWhisper16
July 27th, 2016 2:10pm
The only person that truly knows how amazing you are is yourself, and its the same with who loves you the most its you, if you bring yourself down everyone will see how weak you are xx
Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 5:36am
You shouldn't feel like that no one deserves to feel that way. Honestly people look at you and they see more than you think.
fruityFruit7
July 30th, 2016 1:17am
I dont think you hate yourself, I just think you like the idea of you hating yourself. But please dont hate yourself, you're a strong and kind person. you're beautiful on the inside and out. you may have flaws but thats what makes you different. Thats what makes you you. So dont hate yourself, love yourself because nobody else will.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 9:58am
I hate myself for many reasons. Few being that I overthink any situation, never appreciate things and take them for granted.
Marianne1234
July 30th, 2016 1:11pm
This is because you have many negative thoughts, in which, has made you hate yourself.
BreatheEasy247
August 3rd, 2016 1:34pm
Insecurities are a terrible thing. It causes us to overthink and criticize ourselves for things that most people may not notice or pay that much attention to. It may be hard but you have to learn how to accept yourself and all your flaws in order to be happier with yourself.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2016 9:32pm
We don't really hate ourselves. What me might hate is the things we've done, the things we've thought of and the things we've had foolishly hoped for.
helpfulHeart67
August 7th, 2016 12:28am
I hate myself so much because I did a lot of horrible things in my last, and I haven't forgiven myself.
orangerosess
August 12th, 2016 8:41am
There's many factors. It could come from insecurity, guilt, pain, etc. I suggest you should talk to someone to fix this issue because it's important to feel secure in yourself and have happiness
Tori2194
August 14th, 2016 3:31pm
Because society has a visual on what we should be and if we feel we can not fulfill that standard then we turn to hate towards ourselves.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 5:03am
I hate myself too much because I'm not to sociable, my pride always gets in my way , I'm selfish I don't have friends I don't depend on them because people are just too unfair to be with nevertheless it's the fact
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 8:33pm
I've had self-Esteem issues ever since I was 10, nothing seemed right about me even within my family
Chimmysmallz
September 21st, 2016 10:24am
Sometimes, i think that i hate myself because i make others hate me. Perhaps, you hate yourself because your mind is telling you that you did something really wrong to be the way you are. Which is quite sad.
Anonymous
October 1st, 2016 7:50am
You are the only person in control of you feelings, so ask your self the question. Write a list if you feel that would help. But everyone is different and unique.
Daisy1579
October 2nd, 2016 12:33pm
Self hatred raises because we don't love ourselves in first place. We always try to take other's opinion and try to judge ourselves on it. People usually hate oneself if they don't have friends or if others show any flaws in them or if they are any break ups and so on. There is a huge list. But I often wonder myself, why don't people behave as they want,why do they tend to rely on others. Happiness is what you can get by doing things you love. Respect yourself first, set a value for yourself, stay away from people who hurt you, love yourself. Be strong,bold, positive, intimidating, confident and happy. Set your own priorities. Know what you love and what you don't. Occupy yourself with happy thoughts and happy things. Do some interesting activities. I'm sure you will start loving yourself and others start respecting you too. Good luck!!
MonieeExo
October 12th, 2016 3:15pm
You hate youself because you haven't realized how wonderful, beautiful, and amazing, and wanted you are yet.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 12:21am
How do you define "hate'? What other feelings do you feel about yourself around and under the hate, such as anger, shame, loneliness, fear, apathy, all of the above or others not mentioned? Acknowledge each feeling without judgment and examine it individually: why do you feel that specific feeling or thought about yourself? After examining each feeling surrounding this question you may have a better understanding. A better understanding of ourselves can help us unchain ourselves from unhealthy situations, behaviors, thought patterns. Good luck!
Anonymous
November 26th, 2016 2:55pm
I think this question can only be answered by you yourself. I remember when I was in high school I was disappointed in myself and hated myself to the point where I scream at night. My solution, and it could be different for you, is to find out why. Ask yourself, Why? My problem was I felt like I was sabotaging my own future for being so lazy and ignorant. My solution was to build up upon that and I couldn't have been happier. You should try to look at the different aspect of your life that could have lead you to "hate" yourself. At the end of day, you are alway there for yourself. I hope you can figure it out and fix it.
Oval
December 31st, 2016 3:47pm
People tend to lean towards new and interesting things that they've never seen before. I personally think that that's why people tend to be so hard on themselves. We are constantly seeing ourselves in pictures, mirrors, etc., CONSTANTLY hearing our own voice, constantly being surrounded with... well, us. If you were forced to be with another person for your entire life, never leaving their side... it's most likely that you'll get sick of them pretty sick. We've been stuck with ourselves since we were born. Of course, it's different for everyone. Some people hate themselves for physical appearance, or their personalities, laughs, etc. We're way too hard on ourselves for the most part.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2017 4:41pm
I believe it's because we didn't learn to love ourselves. Yet. Once we learn that, the hatred will be gone. It takes much work, but it's worth it. We hate ourselves because we concentrate on all the bad things we've done and all the negative experiences we've been through. And we remember all the ways we acted that were wrong, and can't forgive. But to forgive is the first step to learning how to love yourself. You can't change the past, but you can make a better future.
friendlyPerspective32
January 4th, 2017 7:22pm
This is something that you need to answer for yourself, Sometimes people may be self-critical of their personality, achievements, or looks. Others may just be dissatisfied with their lives and are constantly comparing themselves to others. Figure this out and then practice some compassion. In other words, be easy on yourself. No, nothing can be perfect but that's the beauty of things :)
TinyPrince99
January 5th, 2017 3:57pm
There are many reasons why you could hate yourself. Ranging from body image to varying mental illnesses. If you feel you hate yourself, please tell a trusted friend or adult and work on ways to improve your self image.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2017 7:28pm
For me it's a plethora of reasons why I feel like I hate myself during a particular time. Even little things lead me to these thoughts like embarrassing myself when ordering coffee or even knocking over a stack of Tupperware. I think maybe we set strict rules for ourselves (be this way or be that way) that are almost designed for us to fail. Sometimes I think my brain has this thesis statement--I'm the worst--and no matter what I do my brain uses each experience to prove this statement.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2017 1:44pm
It is very sad to hear that you feel this way. Hating yourself could be a consequence of comparing yourself to other people, however you are not aware that the people that you compare yourself to have also got flaws. We all have our imperfections, which is perfectly normal and makes us unique. You need to embrace yourself and if you have to compare yourself, then only compare yourself today to yourself yesterday.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2017 8:09am
Sometimes we put too much preasure on ourselves. This makes us to only see our defects instead of our positive aspects. Try writing a list of positive things about you
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2017 9:25pm
You could hate yourself due to the fact you let small things get to you, or that you have no given yourself the amount of credit you need to keep your head up.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2017 1:53pm
I don't know personally why, but lots of life experiences can lead to self hate; such as childhood trauma, gender dysphoria, abuse, neglect, feeling like your body doesn't fit in with the societal norm, or your sexuality doesn't. The important thing is for you to explore what makes you feel this way. It is not simple, but you are not alone, lots of people at some point in their life have felt like they hate themselves, and lots of people have learnt love. You are worthy of love, especially of self love.
beautifulPeace50
April 9th, 2017 3:16pm
Because i care too much to the point of forgetting my own needs and wants. I love deeply so i also get hurt deeply.