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Why do I hate myself so much?

253 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2020 at 6:15am
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Healingfromwithin
April 22nd, 2017 9:01am
Maybe that comes from years of self criticisms or absorbing the criticisms of others which then erodes your sense of self esteem. Maybe not practising great self care and awareness makes you more susceptible to self loathing too.
KatieSoul
April 26th, 2017 4:34am
There could be many reasons for this, but I think the main issue would lie in your self esteem - how you perceive yourself to be, and finding fault with yourself. But take heart! Being hard on yourself is something A LOT of people struggle with. But you can practice taking steps to love yourself. Instead of focusing on the things that you do poorly or do not like about yourself, try focusing on those things which you DO like. Be gentle with yourself, and kind. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend who is struggling with self-hatred. You may be surprised how many things there are about you to LOVE! ☺️💕
ManiRose
May 3rd, 2017 12:58am
Some people hate themselves because they compare themselves to society or anything that a person deems better than them. But, in fact, we all have our flaws and things we're good at. Accept yourself as what you are and work on the part that you are not; but you must also set realistic goals for yourself.
SaraJulia89
May 11th, 2017 9:56pm
Sometimes we hate our selves so much because of what other people say, and sometimes its what we say, either way undoubtedly nearly everyone has looked at a mirror and thought something negative. "Why am I so fat?" or "Why does my nose look this way?" These thoughts appear no matter if you were being self critical, or if someone else pushed you to hate this particular thing about yourself. Either way society has a standard for beauty that is completely unrealistic, you scroll through pictures of celebrities with perfect skin and you ask yourself; why do I not look like that - let me tell you those pictures are all photo shopped and what you see is something that no one will ever be able to achieve because perfection simply does not exist - you need to start with you because once you love yourself you won't let anybody tell you that you are not beautiful or smart or anything. You need to look at your flaws and realize that while to you these may be flaws, someone else who looks at you may look at these 'flaws' and find that that's what they love about you the most - the fact that you are not perfect but you're human. Keep going, don't let anyone else destroy you, your flaws aren't as big as they seem to you they're in fact what makes you so beautiful and unique. Instead of spending time hating yourself, spend time improving who you are.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2018 12:02am
You are beautiful and you are not worthless! I have had self confidence and no self confidence. I have told myself I hate myself and i just wanna be done. But what I always thought and what you need to think is people do you love you and people do care about you. You a amazing person.
Anonymous
February 18th, 2018 6:46pm
Have you made mistakes in your life that you regret making if so that’s maybe why you dislike yourself
MissesOliver
February 22nd, 2018 8:53am
It's all too easy to be really hard on ourselves. It's kind of like being around someone so much that you find things about them that bother you, only you are with yourself all of the time without ceasing. Try to find a few things you enjoy about yourself and remind yourself of them daily!
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 5:44pm
You have no self respect for yourself. You think that other people are better than you which is nonsense.
blindRainbow69
March 7th, 2018 11:27am
Because you are probably more focused on the negative things in you rather than appreciating yourself for the good qualities that you have.
ImDom
March 31st, 2018 8:12pm
Maybe you have done something you don’t agree with but your too afraid to come clean which is fine but it why I’m here
vitalev
April 8th, 2018 1:59am
I hate myself because I am a lazy peson and I am stuck being a child. I cannot take responsibilities onto myself.
amazingDreamer85
April 18th, 2018 1:52pm
You've been taught to hate yourself from other people (usually authoritative figures in your life) who felt badly about themselves. It's a matter of behavioural programming to teach yourself to look for the good qualities in yourself. Positive people will promote this mindset and you will pick up on it too. Practice saying nice things about others and it should spill over into how you view yourself
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2018 6:52am
Self-hatred is very common in depression, or/and it might be things you have not looked into which is fueling this. I suggest talking to someone you trust or/and your doctor about this. Wish you all the best :)
FakzWift
May 9th, 2018 2:29pm
There are many reasons for why a person can hate themselves. But everyone is usually much better than they think, they just don't see it. One of the main reasons in todays society for self deprecation is Social Media. It forces us to compare ourselfes to others.
anansispider95
May 30th, 2018 4:25am
There are a myriad of reasons we may not like ourselves. Sometimes we hold ourselves to an unrealistically high standard. When we ultimately do not or cannot achieve these high standards, we may feel inadequate, to the point of concluding that we will never be good at anything. Sometimes we hate ourselves because of the way toxic people have treated us. If we spend most of our lives being told that we are ugly, worthless, stupid, etc. we may start believing that we really are horrible people, undeserving of love even from ourselves. Sometimes we may hate ourselves for not being who our families, lovers, friends, or society wants us to be. For example, if you have a mother who hates your significant other, thinks you should get into a new line of work, tells you your hair is ugly, etc., we may feel bad for having disappointed a loved one. So really it comes down to reflecting on our backgrounds, present life stressors, and so on to determine what is going on to cause us to not like ourselves. It could be a combination of factors. To combat these negative feelings towards ourselves, it is helpful to begin replacing our negative thoughts with more positive ones. It is also a good idea to use affirmation statements each day, such as "I am good enough," or "I am learning to love myself today."
VigilanteQuinn025
June 8th, 2018 5:02am
It is because we listen to what others say and sometimes even if a 100 people tell you a lie you start feeling like it's the truth. So we tend to believe what people say and start to under estimate ourselves resulting in low self-esteem which is why we hate ourselves.
Silverlining30
June 10th, 2018 3:39pm
Could come from pressure from others being confident or the fact you arnt accepted into "society's norm" which no one should. You may also feel like what you do or how you act isn't under your control and your actions cause you to feel hate for yourself. Which shouldn't be the case. Only do something if you feel morally happy with it and you think through it
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 12:06am
Sometimes we are ina very dark state of mind and everything about yourself becomes cloudy to the REAL AND AWESOME YOU!! its important to remeber that you know that this storm has to clear up eventually!! But right hang tight to that umbrella of yours!!
Anonymous
June 15th, 2018 8:51am
Loving yourself isn’t easy! But you must alway try, wether you feel better about the way you did your make up or your new haircut. If you don’t like something Fix it! But everyday wake up and look at yourself and pick out one thing that you love about your self it can be small or big and sooner or later you’ll love every bit of you
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 3:17pm
i dont know why i hate myself so much. like i hate me more than anything in this world. i feel so useless and delusional for dreaming something that people say it's impossible to reach. i feel like no one ever here, no one ever try to support me, they just watch me suffer.
interestingWillow76
June 22nd, 2018 6:51pm
Because as a humand being you tend to just remember the worst things and because in human nature we keep on comparing ourselves to one another
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 11:38pm
I hate myself so much for the way I’ve been treated by people I love. I got blamed for my mother being ill everyday of my teen life by my stepdad, I got cheated on by my ex partner numerous times & I just feel worthless and alone. Happiness is all a lie
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 1:06pm
It could be a symptom of depression. Something may have happened in your life that has created a sense of guilt. Chatting to someone can help you recognise when and how the hateful feelings started. Together, you can work towards loving yourself again. x
ingeniousFriend59
June 24th, 2018 3:07pm
we hate our-self so much because we dont meet our own expectations. when we are unable to get what we want and see others having it then we feel worst... and the condition of not able to get over something and not able to get something in-spite of all our efforts..
NotAliceInWonderland
June 30th, 2018 10:18pm
Self-love and self-acceptance can be a long process and will take some time, but don't worry! Soon you'll get to a place where you won't hate yourself
ElaineSaysHello
July 6th, 2018 3:17am
If this hatred is coming from something that you've done that made you feel guilty, try to reach some kind of closure about it to lift this burden of hate off your shoulders. You can do that by talking about your feelings with someone here on 7 Cups or someone close that you trust.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2018 1:34am
I hate myself and every morning what’s the point of getting up or like your ugly or fat etc. but I’m kinda a hypocrite because if I hear people saying that they hate themselves or something like that I’ll tell them they shouldn’t think that even though I think of that all the time I hate looking in the mirror because all I see is a fat ugly pig I cry myself to sleep but I’m too scared to tell my parents because I feel like they are going to say “Oh it’s just a phase or oh it’s hormones!”
Kaysha
July 26th, 2018 12:52pm
Self loathing is a natural part of life, but one day you will find something you like, and then love and your whole perspective will change!
KingParisX
August 1st, 2018 10:19am
I used to hate myself for no reason, I used to think that everyone judged me before getting to know me and honestly I still feel like that sometimes. However I read a post online which spoke about this ‘demon voice’ within you that is actually your critical thinking telling you your not good enough and constantly putting you down. There’s always help and my doors are open.
specialRiver83
August 9th, 2018 9:04am
Perhaps someone has manipulated your mind into thinking you are not enough. Often people are down on themselves simply because they know themselves they have great potential and could push themselves harder to do better . That does not make you net less of a person and you should never use the words hate. Hate is a strong word