Is it hard to think critically about something you love?
180 Answers
Last Updated: 04/01/2022 at 2:30am
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Stacy Overton, PhD.
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I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.
Top Rated Answers
Sometimes it is hard becuase you may love them so much that you overlook their faults. You may only see positives or think that their actions are acceptable becuase they love you or you love them. In that case you should take a step back and think of them through an outsider's perspective. Try to put yourself in the shoes of someone unrelated and see if you are able to see clearly and objectively then. However, if you are unable to, don't be dissapointed because loving someone is a good thing and you can always ask for someone ele's perspective on the matter.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2018 7:50pm
Sometimes, especially at the beginning of the relationship, we tend to leave the reason behind and see no flaws in our partners. However, as the relationship develops, and we learn more about each other, discover the other's and our own flaws, it becomes easier to look with the more critical and sensible eye at our beloved. Nobody is perfect, a lot of us, especially with BPD, tend to idolise our partners. And sometimes this may end up badly. But, I think, we're all more or less reasonable creatures and can think critically about our loved ones. It may be harder with the things we love, though. Especially, and I'm not being facetious here, you actually love learning how to think critically!
Yes, emotion has a weight on reason, which is that on what one would lean to critical thought. Furthermore, we're talking about something you love - emphases on love. I don't think it is impossible to do so, but i'd also take in count what Nietzsche said, paraphrasing: "Love is a state on which one sees things as they are not". I think it would depend greatly on the power the emotions and the mental and physical arousal that "love" creates in someone; the anemic power something incite us with is proportional with the difficulty to think critically about it.
Yes,sometimes it is hard..also depends on the relationship with the thing or person. We doubt of hurting someone or feeling guilty later.it is always better to sound polite and not criticizing to maintain healthy relation. Even if the point is very important then how you said it more important that what you said...so remember to think from all the sides.
Sometimes thinking critically is easy but expressing it to person you love becomes difficult.I feel analysing and communicating is a art and it requires efforts to put across your point and if it is someone you love then its definatly something you need to be careful of.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2018 3:27pm
I definitely think so. This is one of the many reasons abusive relationships are so hard to leave, because at one point the person being abused may have had a loving relationship with the abuser. This makes it so the abusee have a harder time seeing what the abuser is doing to them because they want to believe in the person they used to love. In a more toned down example, with my best friend (who I love very dearly) sometimes I overlook some of her negative traits and get a bit blinded by the good. Sometimes it seems like the people we love can do no wrong, but it's important to both advocate for yourself when needed and acknowledge all the parts of someone, good and bad.
We as humans are quite biased towards what we love, it's natural to be clouded by the thought process in regards to any matters relating to something we love. Emotions get the best of us and we allow emotions to be the decision maker, which often may be confusing and illogical. When the subject arises and decision making comes into play, logic should be the method utilized, if we truly love something we'd want the best for it and not the worst, it becomes however the opposite if we don't think critically, it is for that reason we MUST think critically specially if it's about something we love.
you as a human being are going to think critically of everything your eyes view even if you don’t realise.
it’s part of being a person.
no matter how much you love someone/ something you will always have your favourite and least favourite things you like about them in the back of your head.
there is nothing wrong with being critical about people / situations / objects it’s part of me, you , your neighbor , the person you walked past coming down the road
i, myself have thought the same exact thing as what your question is talking about.
No it’s not hard to thing critically about something you love, it’s human nature.
i’m so glad you reached out to a Listener on 7 Cups today to help
Thinking critically is a natural human habit. We tend to lean towards critical thinking all the time - and unfortunately, critical thought can lead to discontent as we find flaws with what we love. Critical thinking is most healthy and most helpful only if it leads to constructive action and healthy problem solving.
For example, we can critically think about our pets. Let's say a dog which we love has a bad habit of chewing our stuff. We think critically about how to help the dog appease its need to chew by providing appropriate toys. Thus we do not resent the dog for chewing - but embrace the pet's characteristics and support it in a healthy, non-destructive manner.
Generally, that would depend on how willing you are to accept that what you love may not be perfect. Critical thinking is not inherently negative; rather, it is analytical. This means you will consider the areas in which this thing you love may be imperfect, may need to grow, where it may not be exactly the way you wish. It can be difficult to consider things in this way, but one could argue that building this skill is incredibly important for a successful life. Developing a healthy life does mean that you need to be able to consider the reality of things, rather than what you wish or want to see.
I definitely feel like it is, yes. When you really love something it's hard to see the negative in it most of the time. That's also why people say that love makes blind, most of the time you won't notice the negative sides of the people you love, you're too busy thinking about all their good traits. In some way it sounds like a beautiful thing but it might be important to look at things in a more critical way though, especially with the risks of toxic relationships or any other toxic situations, like a toxic friendship.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2019 3:35pm
I think that analyzing anything that you love is incredibly difficult. When you love something, it is easy to look past or excuse all of its flaws. And this could apply to anything that you love like a person, your work, even yourself. While it is hard to think critically about something that you love, it is necessary so that we can be reasonable and responsible. If your head is in the clouds at all times, other aspects of life can worsen. I would say that it is about a good balance between practicality and romanticism. Balance always seems to be the key!
No, I am a pessimist, so I do not really think highly of a lot of things too much. I do know that I can and will think critically of many different things that I enjoy or love. Even if it seems perfect. There is no perfection in this world, I realized that long ago. But, listening to people really helps me, personally, I know that I am not perfect and that some people hate me. I am well aware of that. But I know that I have to keep strong for my family and friends. I know that I am never alone in this. Even if I can think critically of the things I love and care about. Not only am I something. I am something else.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2019 10:07am
To think critically about something you need to focus on its pros and cons. But if you love that something, emotions are implied, and logical thinking might be inhibited. Thus, thinking critically about something you love might definitely be hard, especially if you are an emotional person and/or feel like you can't control your emotions. Writing pros and cons on a piece of paper might help you because it forces you to consider both the good and the bad. Asking for opinions to other people might also help you to broaden your point of views. But remember: we are inclined to listen only to the bits that agree with our opinion. So make a conscious effort to consider even the opinions that disagree with yours!
Yes. I believe it is, it all depends on the person and the thing as well as the circumstances. I think that if we are in love with something we have a tendency to only focus on that, rather than thinking critically about whether we should. It’s very easy for emotions to cloud our judgement, but that is natural, some people have an easier time seeing through these emotions to think critically, but some most stop and make an effort to think critically. Certainly having someone else to assist with thinking critically through emotions is a huge help, as they are not feeling the love and can help you with critical thinking!
This is the most difficult problem I personally face in life. Thinking real and critical about something you want in life.
Perhaps in other circumstances, other character traits would be easy, I would think real life, and I would not stick with objects.
But I started my own battle, which is not even the least easy. I think realistically and not to tie up with objects.
It's not easy at all. But a lot of books help me with books and I practice them. And there is improvement.And when I want something, I ask the question: Is it worth the thing in life?
Anonymous
June 27th, 2019 6:47pm
Sometimes you can think too critically about something you love, if you are a perfectionist. You can pick it apart until there is nothing left. "Thinking objectively" might describe better what you need to do, perhaps. When you find yourself being too critical, best to step back and take a few breaths, and maybe do something else for awhile before you return to it.
However, if the activity in question is something that requires your full transcendent attention, some good thing that you sink into and lose yourself in before you rise to the surface again, maybe it's not important whether or not you "think critically" about it.
This really depends on the context. However, thinking critically of something we love can sometimes be the best thing that can be done, and for some people it’s very easy. For others though, it can be difficult whenever there are emotions in conflict with reason and logical thinking... for instance, it can get tricky when it comes to romantic relationships, because most people who are in love tend to base their decisions entirely off of that, while they might ignore some logical warnings in the process, even some potential red flags. So in such situations, it is almost impossible.
Often whenever we are in love we can find it difficult to see faults as we tend to love warts and all. It may be helpful to try and take yourself out of that situation and look at it from someone else's point of view. How would they feel? Would they see things that you do not? Or perhaps things that you see, they would consider them more negatively than you? Just keep in mind that thinking critically comes at a price as it can often lead to overthinking and causing problems which were not there to begin with.
Thinking critically about something you love is only going to be helpful. It would be a great disservice to you to only look at the favorable. Critical thinking allows us to look deeper into the things we love which helps to strengthen our relationship to that thing, Critical thinking is a necessary step to understanding the things we love at their core. While this is necessary, it does not mean it will be easy. Sometimes we discover things we never knew to be true and that can be a big adjustment and it can take some getting used to. Difficult thinking can lead to great discoveries but also painful ones, it's important to remember both are okay.
Anonymous
December 10th, 2020 7:38am
It is. Critical thinking requires you to be completely objective in your judgement, which can be particularly hard for something (or someone) that you love. Although decision making should theoretically be completely from the head, having a bit of emotion sprinkled in shouldn't be a bad thing. Humans are creatures of emotion, although we shouldn't let that totally govern our actions and cause us to make a decision we might regret in the future. Asking other people for their outlook and advice would also help, mainly because they might have a different and more compatible solution than us in the heat of the moment.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2021 11:54am
I do think it is hard to think critically about something that we love. even as a judge in a court, they are forbidden to judge their own family. that's why at some point we might need other's people opinion as consideration. but doesn't mean that we should take everything like taking all the pills without knowing what's use for. in the end of the day, everything is on us. to make a decission and to be ready for all the concequences that could possibly happen in the future. so, we might understand ourself. what do we really need. to think about all the affordable loss we can possibly take because of what we decided.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2021 10:18am
I think sometimes it does get hard to think critically about something you love because you don't want to accept the negative aspects. For example, if we love a person but you've been noticing that your relationship with them has been changing, you might have wanted to take the time to stop and analyze the person. During this analysis, it might become hard for us to accept that the person has negative qualities that are affecting us. We might be scared about losing them and therefore, we would avoid wanted to point out the negative aspects. This also occurs for ideas or things we love that we don't want to left go of.
Anonymous
May 6th, 2021 6:10pm
Sometimes it can be. Oftentimes, our love for a person, activity, or object will blind us from the harmful characteristics it may have, which is why talking to others can sometimes be helpful to allow us to hear a non-biased response to what we may be dealing with. It can also be helpful to create a pros and cons list to figure out, critically, if what we love is helping us or hurting us, despite our attachment to whatever it may be. This can also look like recording our emotions in a journal in relation to this thing, to see if we are having more positive or negative emotions associated with what we love.
It is often really hard to be able to use your critical thinking when emotion gets in the way. Loving something or someone can affect the way you see them and interpret their actions. People tend to acknowledge only the "good"things and dismiss or find excuses for the negatives. Additionally, the more close you are with something or someone, the harder it becomes to distance yourself and be objective. That's why when things get hard, people, choose to "take a break" from relationships or situations. This helps them to re-evaluate the person or the situation and put things under a different perspective.
Yes it can be hard to think critically about something or someone you love. Because when you are in love, you tend to ignore all the flaws they have. You only focus on the good things. However, this is not applicable to everyone. For example, parents. They love their children and scold them at the same time. Even though it will take time but if you wanna be critical of something you like, you can train your mind to be unbiased. It will take time because your brain is a stubborn organ. But you will eventually learn it.
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2020 6:16pm
When we love something a lot, our emotional attachment to that thing can sometimes sway our thoughts about it. Feelings (like love) are always valid, but that doesn't mean they follow a strict code of logic, or that they are necessarily rational. The heart and the head can sometimes disagree, which can make decision making very tricky. If you're finding it hard to use cold hard logic to consider issues having to do with something you love, you are not alone. Many people feel that significant emotional attachment can cloud their judgement when they need to decide a best course of action.
It is always going to be a conscious effort to think ethically about something that you love and care so much for. Personal bias is inevitable and we tend to implement this bias into our train of thought unintentionally when we're analyzing situations that are personal to us. How difficult it is think critically about something or someone you love is subjective, because some people are more prone to being willing to step outside themselves and look at situations objectively. We all have the ability to put our bias aside and think critically, it's only dependent on how willing one is to take these steps.
It depends. As we develop emotional abilities with time and experiences make us better on how we deal with love. You can be selfless in love yet know perfectly well if you are being fooled or exploited in some way. It's about how our brains are wired, In love matters things tend to go more caring and blind by default but I think being too critical or being really less critical will not turn out to be a good soluion. So how do we know what's the perfect balance for each individual. Love and share. Beware of exploitation and unnecessary caring.
It definitely is! Thinking critically about someone we love can make us feel scared, as we do not want to love them in any way less than we do. However, true love is when you accept someone for who they are, both for their faults and virtues. That's why it is a good exercise to think critically about the person you love, but make sure that you also have before you a list of reasons for why you love them and find them special, so that you can always refer to that list after you have seen them in a 'critical light' too.
Yes it can be hard to think critically about something you love. Love is like looking through rose tinted glasses. Your perception might not necessarily be an accurate outlook on the thing you love. Love can provide more compassion and acceptance towards the thing you love, where in reality this thing requires more of your resistance and uncompromising stance. When you love something it can unintentionally form a barrier of protection, protecting it from criticisms, negativity and un-favoured opinions. This is where it is important to really sit with yourself and your deep thoughts and gut feelings and attempt to look at the situation with an un-biased eye, as hard as that can be when love comes into play.
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