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Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2019 at 3:28pm
Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?
★ This question about Anxiety was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:50pm
Maybe she was a friend for so long and now you're dating it feel different so you don't know how to act
clh2os
December 17th, 2015 6:36am
There are many reasons. Often, we can be nervous around our partner because we are vunerable. When our hearts get involved, it opens us up to new feelings--good and bad. Learn to enjoy the ride!
JoeMarlo
December 17th, 2015 6:38am
It could be based around a sense of commitment or you could worry about embarrassing yourself in front of them and losing your connection or getting laughed at, both of which are highly unlikely if the girl is kindhearted and likes you for you.
MrRoboticWrites
December 17th, 2015 1:28pm
It could be any number of things. It might be nervous excitement, you might be nervous that you'll do something to mess it up. You might want to think of all the reasons that might make you nervous about her.
ashbradbury42
December 17th, 2015 10:56pm
I think you're nervous around your girlfriend because you love/like her and maybe that's new for you.
SmileMitten
December 17th, 2015 11:23pm
Nervousness is pretty natural, especially if you haven't been with her for a long time. The nervousness stems from feelings of self-consciousness or doubt. "Just be yourself" is easier said than done. If you're close enough to your girlfriend you can talk to her about the anxiety. Sometimes just admitting it helps to make it go away. Anxiety and secrets are things that just get worse the more you try to push them away. Good luck!!
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 9:54am
It's alright to be nervous as long as your are not too nervous if you find yourself sweeting a lot or so nervous you can't even talk to her just take deep breaths and think I can do this. For real girls think it is kind of cute for a guy to be nervous because they are probably nervous too.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2016 9:27pm
Because you feel something about her. And you care about her. You get excited about her. And that makes you nervous.
peacefulBerry93
January 8th, 2016 12:07am
Love is something new and spectacular with each new individual that you get the privilege of loving. In this case, I believe you're nervous around your girlfriend because you are in the very first stages of love! Everyone gets nervous, just go with it!
Dolores16782
January 8th, 2016 12:39am
You and her are in a relationship it is natural for you to be nervous because her opinion is important or you might feel as though something bad is going to happen your relationship
Anonymous
January 8th, 2016 5:14am
How long are you together with your girlfriend? If you are with her only a month or two, then that is a normal thing because you still don't know each other so good so you are afraid of doing something wrong.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2016 10:03pm
You are nervous because you like her and sometimes when we like or love someone our thoughts are all over the place and that person gives us butterflies. Maybe we are scared of saying the wrong thing, or afraid you're going to embarrass yourself. It is a natural feeling and perfectly normal
Veyronash
January 10th, 2016 7:01am
Possibly you think that your achievements are not as good as hers, or you are just over-thinking. Also a sense of insecurity may result in nervousness. If that is the case, trust her. I remember a line i read somewhere, "If you trust someone, trust him/her till the end, because in the end either you get a friend or a lesson". It is like the win-win situation. And believe me, sometimes the lesson you get at the end is worth it.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2016 2:13pm
it's probably because you love her so much you are afraid to do something that'll upset her ... just relax she's your gf because she likes you the way you are .. be yourself ... she's lucky to have someone like you
Whisper1945
January 10th, 2016 7:39pm
We are nervous around those that we feel we have to impress. Our crushes are people like you and me but in our head we create them to be of a higher kind and so we change ourselves , in a way to accommodate this higher being
DimitarDG
January 13th, 2016 9:57pm
It's only natural to feel a little aprehensive around those we feel affection for. We don't want to do or say anything to upset the people we feel for and in turn this can often lead to nervousness.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 4:27am
Because her beauty is intimidating! Duh!
Navica
January 20th, 2016 7:26am
Because you genuinely care for what she thinks about you. It's not a bad thing, it just shows you that you have feelings for her. Talk to her about it. Maybe she feels the same way. Open communication in a relationship is one of the most important things to keep it healthy!
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 10:36am
It's natural to feel like that around her, you're trying to impress her most likely. It's a good thing :-)
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 10:34pm
You might be scared you'll disapoint her. Or you love her so much that you're scared you'll do something wrong and ruin it.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 10:52pm
It's natural to want to impress someone you like. You want them to like you back and it is far easier to dredge up all the reasons someone would not like you than it is to focus on the reasons someone would like you. Be natural. Be confident. Know that there is something that your girlfriend already really likes about you and all she wants is for you to share more of your thoughts and feelings - not less because you're nervous.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2018 1:02pm
this could be for any reason, but unfortunately you will have to figure that part out. it could be because you feel so much love for her and this is what causes butterflies in your stomach, or it could be because you feel you cant say or do things around her, and in this case you should really talk to someone who deals with relationships professionally, maybe you two just need to talk through your struggles or maybe its a little more serious and you should seek proper help. i hope that helps you, always here to talk :)
Peppens
January 30th, 2018 3:35am
From my experience, when I was nervous, later on I found out that it was because i liked her, wanted to impress her, and she was really important to me. On top of that I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but yes; It is perfectly normal to feel nervous around your girlfriend, it shows that she's really important to you. Hope that helps!
MiraLA
January 24th, 2017 6:54am
Sometimes we're nervous around others because we worry about what they think of us. Just remember that she's your girlfriend for a reason and likes you, for you!:)
Anonymous
August 31st, 2016 12:06am
This can be caused by a couple different things. You could be nervous because of insecurities that you think they might not like. Also, these feelings could be because you are starting to realize how deep your feelings for your girlfriend are and the idea of losing them makes you nervous.
InfiniteSelf
June 7th, 2016 11:49pm
You are the only person that can give valid reasons to your own emotions. I know when it comes to my own relationships the start causes me so much anxiety. The desire to come off in a desirable yet true manner is one of the things I believe cause the most anxiety in relationships.
DestinyWillHelp
March 21st, 2016 6:09pm
You probably love her so much you're afraid to lose her. I had the same issue in the beginning but I talked to her, and now we are in a very good relationship without worrying about her leaving.
StefanTheBoy
January 27th, 2016 10:05pm
Maybe you feel insecure. You think that your girlfriend is prettier than you and you start to think like " Maybe she will find someone better than me." Or,you love her so much that you are afraid you will do a mistake and will end up with a break-up.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 1:39am
You may be really scared she wont like what you like and i hope you found somebody that you feel really cares
ANewFriend95
January 28th, 2016 5:50pm
You can really like her and it is okay to be nervous. You just have to be yourself and if she likes you back then that is great. If not it is okay because there are plenty of people who will like you for you. It is okay to be nervous! ☺