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Why do I get anxious when my boyfriend goes out?

155 Answers
Last Updated: 12/03/2022 at 3:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Licensed Professional Counselor

I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Anxiety
January 2nd, 2016 4:50pm
Thinking about when I would be anxious about my boyfriend going out with his friends I realized I was in fear for my relationship. He may find someone prettier, thinner, or more exciting than I am. Is that something you may be feeling aswell?
- Expert in Anxiety
April 14th, 2016 8:37pm
I get nervous when he goes out because I'm scared he is with someone else. I'm afraid he will talk to other girls or he will talk to his friends about mine and his relationship and his friends will influence him to leave me or find someone else
- Expert in Anxiety
July 27th, 2015 3:22pm
From my experiences, it is due to some insecurity within you. You're afraid he will cheat, drink too much, talk to another girl, that something will happen to him, etc. Trust is a big part of a relationship.
December 29th, 2014 8:53pm
Maybe because you feel lonely and you don't want to be alone. Maybe he makes you feel safe and when he's gone you don't feel safe anymore. Hope this helped some.
January 7th, 2016 2:42am
I used to be like that too. Until I figured out it stems from my insecurities. I was worried he'd find someone better. Keep in mind - if he's with you, he wants to be. That won't change because he's having a beer with his friends.
November 10th, 2015 6:04am
There could be a number of reasons for your anxiety when he leaves, but one thing is for certain... you're not alone. Many of us (men and women alike) struggle with this. Perhaps you've been betrayed in the past and worry that he'll do the same, maybe you feel lonely in general, maybe you're struggling with insecurity and fear that he'll find someone else. You should always follow your heart, but also keep in mind that our hearts can be a little overprotective sometimes, telling us to worry about things we may not need to worry about.
December 22nd, 2014 6:09am
Anxiety usually is closely related to fear. Try to ask your self, what do you fear when your boyfriend goes out? Is it something rational to fear about?
January 24th, 2016 11:36pm
You get anxious because you care! It's a normal response and perfectly healthy as long as you try to make sure paranoia doesn't get the best of you. You care about him and just want him to make it back safe without jeopardizing his life, your relationship, and everything inbetween. It's okay to get anxious.
March 16th, 2016 5:34pm
If your boyfriend has ever given you a reason to doubt your trust in him, then it makes sense that you'd be anxious. However, if he's trustworthy, then this anxiety probably has more to do with your own insecurities and fears. Even if you know he loves you, if you have low self esteem and feel that you're not good enough for him this can cause anxiety. So this is something that it's important to work on. Feeling better about yourself will cause you to feel more confident in your relationship, as well. And it's important that you do this. People can usually pick up on their partners' anxiety about this sort of thing and feel pressured by it, even if their partner doesn't tell them. If your boyfriend perceives that it upsets you when he goes out with friends, he may begin to resent you for making him choose between missing out and making you feel bad.
January 2nd, 2016 12:35am
A lot of girls get anxious when their boyfriends go out(especially without them) because they think their boyfriend will find someone better.
November 10th, 2017 1:17am
From my last experience wasn't pleasant he will Come 2 am and with out answering the phone . Mayde me insecure . Is something I struggle and I hope we can help all each other .
July 14th, 2015 7:56pm
It might be because you don't trust him. But maybe it is because someone else you trusted broke your trust as well. But you shouldn't worry, if he says he loves you then he will just go out and have a good time and come back and say that he loves you again.
December 10th, 2015 5:16pm
You may struggle with feelings of abandonment and loneliness when your very important partner is not around. You may also feel worried that they are having more fun without you, or maybe you'd actually like to be out with them and feel left out. It's important to evaluate your thinking when you are experiencing anxiety; are you thinking rationally, or are your thoughts driven by negative self assertions? It can help to discuss your anxious feelings with your boyfriend, so he can better understand your worries and hopefully you can come to a place of understanding and peace. Relationships require open communication!
January 8th, 2016 2:32pm
I believe that the root of my anxiety comes from something that happened in my childhood. My parents were always separated, so it gave me a negative view on love and relationships. Now that I've found someone I actually deeply care about, I get anxious about losing him, over the most smallest things. What I tell myself is to remember that he is with me for a reason, and will support me and help with my anxiety. So try to remind yourself of the things he does for you, what he does to show he cares, and feel at ease knowing you have someone you can trust and love.
February 8th, 2016 5:44pm
Personal fears. It's something a lot of girls struggle with too- so don't feel alone. The best thing to do is know that these are your own fears and insecurities and acting on them could get you in hot water. Recognizing this too can help you better understand yourself and why you fear those things. From that you can try fostering better trust between you two while not giving into fears and insecurities.
December 16th, 2015 7:57am
This may be because you want to know where he is and make sure he is doing nothing to hurt you. Tell your boyfriend how our feel and then he could try and text u every so often to let u know where he is.
January 9th, 2016 11:43pm
If you get anxious when your boyfriend goes out, it may be because there are some underlying trust issues in the relationship. You feel that because you are not close to him, you cannot control his behavior when he is out. If he is really a trustworthy person, then this may stem from somewhere inside of you; have you been hurt in the past? Where do you think these trust issues come from?
April 21st, 2016 5:59pm
Its posessiveness that makes you anxious. Be asvised that right amount of posessiveness is important but too much of it might ruin the relationship. Relax and have faith in him and your relationship.
April 2nd, 2016 1:23am
You get anxious when your boyfriend goes out because you're worried he's cheating, or that you aren't good enough and he'll find someone better. But don't be anxious, you are good enough and I'm sure he loves you like you love him.
April 6th, 2016 6:04am
Possibly because past experiences lead you to think bad things are going to happen when he goes out
September 12th, 2018 2:11am
Maybe you are attached to him and you are scared to lose him. You might trust him but maybe you don’t trust other girls. I personally do not. You could also get anxious because you are genuinely worried about him. You could be worried about his safety. I always worry about him finding someone that is better than I am. Someone that is prettier or skinnier than me. This is very unhealthy though. You need to know that you are good enough for the right guy. If they leave you, they weren’t yours to begin with. If it’s meant to be it will be.
January 13th, 2016 3:18pm
You get anxious because maybe you have trust or abandonment issues. You think that he will find someone better than you and that makes you worried.
May 30th, 2016 5:48am
I also felt this way because i am scared that my boyfriend might find another girlfriend to replace me, so i would get anxious.
December 26th, 2014 6:03am
This may be a form of separation anxiety, or worry about being alone, or about him being unfaithful, or...? Only you know! Journaling may help -write or talk about what is on your mind when he leaves, and try to identify all the various emotions you feel when he leaves, and how strongly you feel each one. Once you identify the specific anxieties you feel, you may want to ask yourself where they stem from? Are you insecure? Did something happen in the past? What things in your personal history and personality might be affecting your emotions when he goes out? From this bas e of knowledge, you will be able to begin thinking of ways to help yourself feel better when he leaves.
December 9th, 2015 12:31am
This is your insecurities playing up. You need to reassure yourself that everything is fine, and you are both happy in the relationship. Nothing is wrong!
March 24th, 2016 5:25pm
you're worried he is going to meet someone else or do something stupid. you dont need to be though because if he is a good guy he will stick to his roots
December 3rd, 2014 9:52am
Relationships can be hard. Trust is a huge factor, and it's incredibly common for people to be anxious when their significant other goes out. If you feel this is a big issue and talking to your boyfriend doesn't resolve anything; seek out a chat with one of our listeners or schedule an appointment with a therapist to try and better understand and handle your feelings towards the matter.
July 27th, 2015 2:10pm
because you care about him, his well-being. It's perfectly normal, it's like what happens with parents when their kids go out on their first date/night-out.
April 6th, 2016 1:18am
Maybe because you believe that the person Will do something that is bad(cheating). Probably because he did cheated before or there's trust issues in the relationship. You might also believe that the person is too good for you and will find a better person that you.
January 1st, 2016 12:27am
You are afraid of losing him or what could happen when he is gone. It also could be you are so close to him you don't feel safe without him