How can I stop thinking about him/her? Why my heart hurts so much?
269 Answers
Last Updated: 05/12/2022 at 2:46pm
Moderated by
Jill Kapil, PsyD
Psychologist
I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2016 6:17am
We can stop thinking about him/her by keeping ourselves busy in activities or sports that we like or have interests in or even go outings or hikes
Keep yourself distracted, maybe go out with friends, watch your favourite movie or tv show maybe play a video game? But the best thing is to deal with what you are feeling so it doesn't reoccur!
Getting over a heart break is not easy and really hard to let go especially when you have been in a relationship for a long time.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 5:57am
Get out of the house. Hang with friends. It may seem impossible, but it will help you in the long run.
spend time with your friends and family, and do something you enjoy, like listening to music, drawing, writing, etc. if something bad has happened between you two, then just try to stay positive. treat yourself! make yourself feel good :)
make yourself busy in other stuffs. go out with your friends. watch movies especially the comedy ones. love what you do. try to explore yourself
It is incredibly difficult to stop thinking about a previously significant member of your life. It is normal to feel heartache, as you truly cared about that person. In order to stop thinking about them, try to pick up a hobby, or devote your time to something that interests you, and will help improve your well being.
Try thinking about things that you like to do! It really helped me when I went through a rough breakup, just try to keep yourself occupied to keep your mind off of them.
Try to do something like a hobby, get your mind of the sadness, like hang out with friends go swimming etc
Because you are in love. I have experienced the same thing. Maybe you're hurting because of some negative thoughts. Love is an unpredictable feeling
I have always tried diverting my mind to something else... for me that is guitar and music, it makes me feel like im free
Emotions versus reasoning are torn into two. Find a reason to think about one's well-being. Try to apply those emotions to focusing on yourself and taking what you think is in ruins into something positive and constructive. It's easier said than done, like witnessing a collapsing old building and building a new, better skyscraper to replace, metaphorically. Seek friends and family, who truly care about you. Spend time enjoying their company to distract yourself from thinking about the past. You are never truly alone to fend off your own demoning thoughts. Eventually, the void in your heart will fill by the accomplishments you've done (for yourself and others) and the ones who got to share witness of your rise.
I have found that it helps if you focus your mind on other productive tasks. Perhaps, reading a book or taking a walk. Listing some hobbies you enjoy and selecting the one you feel will help most is a good option. Don't worry, it will get better in time.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 1:09pm
Try to busy yourself, surround yourself in people you love like friends or family. If it's difficult to focus one more than one thing, fine something you really enjoy and dedicate yourself to it 100%, sit and listen to music, watch movies or videos. Play games even! never sit and dwell, it'll always just make you more sad and upset.
Anonymous
November 27th, 2016 6:52am
The pain didn't leave your body. You still care about them. Even if you don't want to but you do. Every time you think about them makes you wonder what happened
Look for distractions. It can be exercising, or simply doing something you love; reading, swimming, cooking.
Occupy yourself with your favorite hobbies and focus you and what you need right now . make peace with him/her, try to understand why it ended. Really think about him you felt for that person. Think am I happy ? Is that person happy? Are we really good for each other? And when you really think about it and realize that either you and that person are just better off without each other and its both what you want thenotherjust let go.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2017 12:07pm
You can start by doing stuff you like, like going out with your friends. That will take your mind of it. At the same time you should distance you from him and her to you feel that your emotions can handle it. Because the last thingypu want is go back to early and end up crying and begging to get back together.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2017 10:15pm
Honestly, this is hard I won't lie and tell you that you will forget about them tomorrow. But, eventually you won't remember thinking about them, or some mornings you'll be smiling because they have left your mind and your heart. But yes there will be moments where if they came back how much you'd want them back and all. Honestly, just be you and find things to do and people to surround yourself to make you not have that in your mind. You will be okay, you have your good and bad days but it does get better.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2017 4:23pm
Allow yourself time, dont be so hard on yourself. I know you feel like you are betraying her but speak to people who are close to you. They wont have an answer but they will listen, and the worst thing hou can do is withdraw yourself and be alone, dont hurt yourself more because you are hurting inside. It will make you a better person and one day you will be able to help someone else, you would truly understand how they hurt and maybe your kind words could save them
Out of sight, out of mind. It's just normal that your heart aches every time you think of the memories you shared together.
There is no way you can stop thinking about someone. When you lose somebody you really care about it hurts a lot at first , but if you just be patient and give it time you will notice things get better. I find that keeping busy and active always helps to reduce those sad emotions . If its a break up making time for yourself is really important to start realising you can do stuff without them. Make time for family and friends and keep smiling!
Anonymous
February 24th, 2017 1:34pm
Focus on new hobbies and friends to shake your focus off her and in time you will forget her So make.new friends and focus on old ones.ok
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2017 1:05pm
A breakup and the feelings left over can feel so painful and you wonder why time seems to click by so slowly. Thinking about why you broke up, who broke up with who. It can hurt especially if you blame yourself for it, but think about what you could have done differently in the relationship, did you do anything catastrophically wrong, realising that it wasn't your fault is the first key step in easing the pain, it gets easier as time goes on I promise.
I think it's impossible to lose something without gaining something else. Sounds like the void from that person is being filled with sadness. Is there anything else you can turn your focus to for a while? Maybe self improvement or a new hobby? Only then will you know if it's the loss of the routine you had or the person themself.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2017 2:50am
Start with finding something that does not relate to them. Find a new activity or television show that can distract you. Your heart feels hurt, even physically because the emotions that built up.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2017 11:20pm
Your heart hurts a lot because you shared an intimate connection with your partner. You grow an attachment and familiarity to them which grows into a deeper liking for them, it can be tough to come out of that. First, I think it's important to give yourself that time to grieve when you've just separated. Feeling your emotions is so important because you're letting your body, in a way, detox yourself of this attachment. After that, the most helpful way to stop thinking about them is to keep yourself busy. It's cliche and redundant, but it's true. Investing your time into something that you can focus your attention on outside of your train of personal thoughts is almost medicinal. Spending time with friends, lending your time to a hobby, or even volunteering with an organization that's important to you. Just doing something really helps.
There's nothing wrong with thinking about someone this shows that you really care about that person and that is what makes you human. Caring about others is what makes us a good human and if you think about them want what is best for them that makes you a good person.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2017 4:14am
I believe it's normal to experience what you are going through, you feel this way because the love you had and shared with your partner is real, try to focus on something positive and try to keep busy and not think about them so much and in time everything will be ok and time will heal the pain
Think about how much you love yourself and put yourself first. Accept that you are growing stronger from the pain and learning to cope with the pain. That you will become stronger and will no longer allow yourself to be hurt. Now you are becoming stronger and wiser and learning how to accept these feelings and turn them into positive thoughts.
Related Questions: How can I stop thinking about him/her? Why my heart hurts so much?
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?