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How can you unlove someone?

278 Answers
Last Updated: 12/26/2020 at 4:45am
How can you unlove someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
plantwoman
February 8th, 2018 4:23am
Think about things you disliked the person. Remember the times that they made you feel bad. Think about some of your needs that weren't being met by them. Remember that memories are subjective and that you might be romanticizing the past and that person. Then think about the future and all of the people who are more deserving of your love and will love you back the same.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2018 12:11pm
You don't :) If you want to forget about someone, the best thing you can do is to NOT try to forget about them, NOT try to "unlove" them. When you're TRYING to do it, you're actually focusing on them even more.
lonestar87
February 24th, 2018 12:18am
You can't simply unlove someone. However, the feeling we cling to after a breakup is normally the routine. The things you did together, having company, a companion. Even watching a tv show you used to watch together can be hard now. The thing you need now is a new routine. You had one before them and lived just fine. See friends often, take up a hobby, spend time alone doing something peaceful. Once you start to feel at peace with yourself and love yourself and enjoy life these feelings will start to diminish. I've had a breakup i never thought I would get over and stop loving him. A few months later he was like a stranger to me and I felt happier. Time is a healer :)
Anonymous
February 24th, 2018 8:34am
I believe you cannot unlove someone. They will always have a space in your heart because they have shared special moments with you. Maybe the love will fade but not completely.
Anonymous
February 26th, 2018 7:04am
You can never unlove someone but time helps in making it a distant memory ...and maybe the feelings will slowly fade away
allnaturalUnicorns70
February 28th, 2018 2:06pm
If only it was as easy as clicking on a button eh? What if you can't? What if you can only consciously decide that the love you feel for someone just isn't helping your life, and you focus on something else? Best of luck to you.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:36am
You let your mind convince your heart why that needs to be. For example in a breakup situation, you can focus as negatively as possible and as morbid as it sounds, poison your heart to that person.
SunOfMyLife
March 8th, 2018 3:28pm
You can't, what you can do, however, is change that love. Begin thinking of them differently. It takes work, but you can do it.
abbyh223
April 26th, 2018 5:22am
This is a fascinating question because I'm not sure it's possible to. I'm also not sure if this is the focus I would want to have in any relationship/ending of one. The perspective I would give, is instead of focusing on how to "unlove someone", perhaps think about setting boundaries with that person, healing enough to move forward and focusing energy on other friends/people as well as the things you're passionate about. :)
Robinzoo
May 5th, 2018 3:33pm
You cannot. They will always be a part of you. You can although move on and not put much weight to them. It takes time to stop love someone, the best way is to find distraction and accept the facts for what it is. Meet new people is also a good way to cope.
brightsunrise
May 9th, 2018 1:10pm
One simple word: time. Although it may not seem like it, I can assure you time heals everything. You're gonna find someone who deserves you and loves you for who you are. You're gonna stop thinking about time hat person who hurt you so deeply. You just need time.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2018 10:07pm
Well, it isn’t simple to unlock someone, but think about why you fell in love with them in the first place
Ky23
May 12th, 2018 3:31am
There is no way to unlove someone. Don't try to run from negative feelings so swiftly or memories from any past relationship. These things can teach us lessons or help us to understand ourselves better. You can't reverse the clock or forget past feelings. Believe me when I say I know the feeling of wanting to run away from it all and put up walls just because one thing or one person didn't work out. You can do everything absolutely right and some relationships just don't last. That's called life. Not all relationships are mean't to last and while endings can be bittersweet, they show us that something better is coming.
SpontaneousDragonfly
May 13th, 2018 9:33pm
Falling in love is hard, and that makes unloving someone even harder. You have to remind yourself why you are unloving them constantly. You are trying to start over and lose that feeling you previously had for this person. Sometimes you need a distraction from things that can remind you of that person, and sometimes you just have to face the music. But, all of these things lead to the same thing, you just have to keep moving forward.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2018 2:58am
Moving on is the first step. Understanding why you broke up is the second. There'll always be other.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 10:56pm
First step is stop trying to. It can't be forced, otherwise it will keep coming back. Start by taking your mind away from it, dedicate that energy to something else like study, work, hobbies, anything that makes you go foward. All the energy you used to dedicate to the person.
blissfulEyes47
May 20th, 2018 12:44pm
Unloving Someone can be very hard, I don’t think you can however I think you can loose feeling for them by distancing yourself from that person and having no contact at all.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2018 6:04am
You never unlove someone if you truly loved them to begin with. We are quick to deny our feelings but the sooner we face it the faster it is to get passed it.
Pilocene
June 8th, 2018 11:59pm
There is really no sudden button to stop loving someone: It takes time-- a lot of it sometimes. Cut the things out of your life that remind you of that person, be it photographs or their favorite music. Having it around will only have healing take longer.
Innerpeace2u
June 13th, 2018 7:19am
Find the unsolvable problems between us and agree to cut off the relationship for its best course. Nothing personal but reflective on the growth from this nonfunctional relationship. Understand what I want for myself and what I can offer at best. Set boundary to protect myself and other.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2018 8:47am
How can you Unlove someone? Well it according what that person did to you. If this person was mean or just not appreciative of you and it’s easier to unlove them. If this person meant something to you and you left on good terms then nothing wrong with still having love for that person that person will always hold a place in your heart!
niceRabbit18
June 28th, 2018 2:57pm
If someone gets to a stage when they become unbearably toxic, or harmful to YOU emotionally/mentally/physically-- that's when I typically stop giving my love to them. Remember: you can't save everyone. If someone is making you feel terrible, it's not your job to make them feel whole.
Mayonnais
June 30th, 2018 11:26pm
You don't . however time always heals the wound , just give yourself time to heal and fill your time with positive activities like learning a new skill you always wanted to learn or workout in the gym .
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 6:50am
To unlove somebody is a hard, but possible thing. If this person has hurt you to the point where you need to unlove them then you should really accept it. It's okay if you thought you loved this person but you don't. It can happen to anybody. It's okay to unlove somebody. Just take some deep breaths take the love that you gave that person out of your brain and let it float out.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 6:32pm
Simple answer is you can't. Love is a strong feeling that takes a while to even appear and once it does many people even believe they have never stopped loving their first love. Usually you just have to find someone else whom you love more than this other person you used to love in order to unlove someone.
StWilson
July 14th, 2018 12:54pm
The real question is can you forget memories, Yes we can as long as we don't think about it. Time is the best healer and i will change how you loved someone for what they didn't deserve.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2018 9:54am
I feel that it is impossible to i love someone but we can forget them from our minds to some extent
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 11:40am
Personally I don't think there's sure a thing as unloving someone you can love them less but even if it someone you hate there's still going to be some small form of love depending on the connection
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:12am
Personally i do not think it is possible. Love can fade, but do not believe that real love can competency disappear. Either it diminishes or turns into hate.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 1:29pm
From experience, time heals a lot of stuff.. you may not be able to unlove the person but you can at least accept how you felt and move on from it