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How long does it take to get over someone?

393 Answers
Last Updated: 01/24/2023 at 3:52am
How long does it take to get over someone?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy

Psychotherapist

I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
AngleTYBarakatx
June 26th, 2015 3:41am
getting over someone could take forever depending on what you felt towards that certain person and how much you cared
sunbeams
July 31st, 2015 2:18pm
It actually depends on how much the person made an impact on you and it honestly takes time to get over someone especially the feelings you had for that person and the memories you made together.
classicangel
August 2nd, 2015 4:02pm
It can take months, years, days, seconds. It really depends on the individual. People might be like "If yous dated for long then it'll take a long time" Yes that can be true but it can also be a lie. Some people can date for 4 years and get over someone in weeks. The best way to get over someone quick is to stop stalking their social media and tracking every step they take.
BrandonTheListener
June 28th, 2015 2:01am
Honestly? As long as you need. Getting over someone is rough, but time heals all wounds. Eventually you will move on, because you are strong enough to overcome this.
Sheye
December 17th, 2015 2:49pm
You don't get over someone if that person meant everything for you. You just slowly learn how to carry on without them. Hating something you love is painful.
Thomas8
September 30th, 2014 5:44am
That is all based on your feelings and mindset. Mainly how big of an impact that person was in your life
Anonymous
March 1st, 2016 7:12pm
I remember asking myself the same question when I went through a breakup with my partner of 5 years. The conclusion I came up with is, how long did you love your partner? What kind of love was it? Was it deep and intense or was it lukewarm and temperamental? I find those who have loved someone for a long time with deep intensity, needed more time in moving on from the person that they love(d). Those who did not feel that sort of intensity, seemed to recover quicker. The question isn't and shouldn't be, how long does it take but rather HOW can I move on from a breakup? Sometimes family and friends are able to help guide us towards a path of healing, sometimes we take this journey alone and meditate on the things we could have improved while with our partner. Either way, each relationship is special and unique in it's own way, so your path to "getting over someone" will be as well. Nor should there be a standard time limit or expiration date needed to get over someone. Only you will be able to truly determine that. Wishing you the best! :)
15Kenzi
June 29th, 2019 11:19pm
To be really honest, you cannot stop loving someone even though it is in the past or it is unrequited. If it is just lust, staying away will help. If you love the other person truly, then that love will never fade. Just accept that she/he doesn’t want you in her/his life anymore and stay away from that person. May be time and distance will help both of you to realize what you both mean to each other. Till then stay away, otherwise you will be hurt so much. Time doesn’t heal anything. It just teaches you to live with that pain. True love will never go away and you cannot forget that person. But remember that if things are to happen, they will realize someday. I am still crying as I write this one, because I know how much it hurts to be ignored by the one who means a lot to me. Save yourself from that pain. Sometimes we don't get closure all the time and it is not required either. We just have to learn to live with that pain.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 8:55am
It depends. Some take months, some take years. It's just a matter of accepting things you cannot change.
brightBubbles24
August 5th, 2015 11:07pm
When you're in love you love everything about that person, how they look, talk, what they do.. But when it comes to end you feel empty. Will you get over that person fast or slow depends on how much you cared about it. Sometimes it takes long time to feel fully recovered and healed, but on the other side you should keep trying to make yourself feel better by remembering yourself that life is too short to be in pain all the time.
Ifeelthesameway
July 2nd, 2015 9:10am
Getting over someone takes time, especially if the feelings of attachment towards that person is strong.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 10:56pm
I believe it varies because everyone is different. For instance, it took me a year to get over an ex because of the emotional pain he had caused me.
FavoritePillow27
July 3rd, 2015 3:00am
There's definitely no timetable in getting over a failed relationship. I believe it's about grieving the loss, (in a healthy way) but not allowing it to overtake you. Reflecting upon the relationship, whether it was healthy or not, what was learned while in the relationship, what good will come from it ending, are things that will take time, but eventually, will become evident. Getting ones heart broken is part of life. That isn't any comfort to someone going through the pain of a failed relationship, but as we grow older we know that's true. This is always a time when good friends come in handy.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 3:56am
it depends on your will.
FindYourStrength01
February 4th, 2016 3:34am
There is truly no time span at all. I suppose you just accept things as they are and decide to move forward for yourself. Remember you are just as whole now as you were before they entered your life. I've been in your situation before.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2016 1:46pm
It depends on the length of the relationship and the seriousness of the relationship. I would also think that if you had a deep physical connection in addition to an emotional connection that would mean that it could take longer. I think it's hard to give an approximate time frame as every person is different and grief is different for each person. As an example, I was married for almost 13 years. The marriage ended in divorce about 4-5 years ago and I am only just now beginning to feel real healing.
igruaminion
February 6th, 2016 1:38am
Usually the longer you've had strong feelings for them, the longer it takes. It's perfectly normal for the recovery phase to take as long, if not longer than the time you were together if you really fell deeply for that person. However, if you're really intent on moving on as quickly as you can, then as soon as you feel ready, it can help if you engage in activities that you enjoy, but perhaps couldn't do with your partner. It's a handy way of reminding yourself that your happiness isn't as dependent on your ex as you may think, and bit by bit you can start rebuilding your life :)
professionalWhisper1742
July 29th, 2019 6:39pm
After my first divorce, the pain of being left alone would not go away. Then, some night after a few months I had a drink at a bar. I sat down next to an older teacher, I knew vaguely. He had a reputation for being unconventional and a bit wise. After a few drinks I asked him this question: "How long does it take to get over someone?". I expected him to give me a scientific answer, but he just said: "Usually 1.5 times as long as the relationship lasted". "What? My marriage lasted for six years", I exclaimed. We both laughed but he never assured me that he had been joking. It took me a long time to get over this relationship. I dated in between, had a longer relationship too, but it took me at least nine years to get over this first break-up. The teacher was right. It took much longer than I hoped for. Even today, 16 years later, I sometimes dream that some day, as old people I will meet her again and we continue, as if nothing ever happened. A friend of mine was left by his wife and he was in bad shape for a month. Then he stumbled across his new love (who was left by her own man) and together they are now happier than ever before. I guess the answer has to be scientific: "It depends...".
Lillyhearts1234
February 6th, 2016 3:54pm
It may take up to a week before you can fully get over someone. The best thing I can suggest is moving on. There will be plenty of other people and yeah you may have to break a few hearts along the way and yeah some may break yours, but that's just part of life and that's how you learn to find the one.
Cosmiclover01
December 30th, 2015 3:36pm
There is no appropriate time span. Everyone and every individual relationship is different. Although, the saying goes, "time heals all", it might not, it just becomes easier as time progresses to handle and deal with getting over a person. It could take from days, to months, and even years.
radiantFlute19
December 27th, 2015 10:56pm
It all depends on you. You have to take baby steps. It depends on how long you were with that person, why it ended, and many more factors are involved.
goldfinch25
December 27th, 2015 6:23am
However long it takes until you stop thinking about that person during the day and during the night. It'll take some time but you'll get there. Everyone can move on, it's just a matter of determination.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 7:52pm
Based on personal experience if that person means a lot to you. Not forgetting the sweet memories 2 years
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 9:35am
It takes 3 months at MOST for your mind to adapt to your new situation and become better for it. And this is for any situation good or bad.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 6:46pm
Its different for everybody, some are quicker than others it just depends on you and how the relationship was.
kindheartedComfort30
December 27th, 2015 8:42am
Take as long as you need , especially if you truly loved them . It's gonna take a while but be patient and now it will get better
TimoneandPumba
December 30th, 2015 1:23am
It varies for everyone, but it's when you can see that person's facebook/snapchat/whatever and see that even if they're smiling without you, you only wish them the best. You have no unease in your heart, and you feel nothing but peace :) It'll come, even if it doesn't seem like it does now I promise.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 4:22am
There is No scientific answer to this question because it depends on who you are. for example if you were with someone for 5 years and it ended and you truly loved them it would take you months maybe years to get over them or you may never get over them. Then there is the players that are like damn i got dumped oh hey there is a hottie over there lets go score one. then there the people who only take awhile because they understand that the person is no longer loving them and wants to move on and they have accepted it.
CT95
December 30th, 2015 5:08am
It depends on who you are? It can take forever it seems like or only a few weeks. It varies from person to person
generousTouch42
December 27th, 2015 6:28pm
As long as you are convinced that you do not have feelings for for the person. We are all different