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How long does it take to get over someone?

392 Answers
Last Updated: 04/17/2021 at 9:03pm
How long does it take to get over someone?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy

Psychotherapist

I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 16th, 2015 8:00am
It depends on how much that person really meant to you and how much you really loved them.
justanotherfool
November 8th, 2015 4:17pm
It certainly depends on the individual. Usually, these things are supposed to take time. But i have seen many, including my friends move on very quickly. In my case it has been almost 3 years now and I am still struggling and fighting to move on. It is probably one of the reasons for which I am diagnosed with Depression. But still, the intensity of these struggling will get lower as the time passes by. But at the same time it can also be the other way around also. The mistakes I had done were sticking to the same plans and dreams me and my ex had set in the past while she has moved on. It is always better to have someone to vent about all these and slowly setting new plans and focus areas. It is difficult though. But it is necessary to remember that there is no easy way also. And do not try these so called shortcut ways like moving into another relationship and all real quickly thinking it would help because most times it ends up in another hear break. These situations can be used favourably also, like to identify the flaws and faults in us or to improve spiritually. And after all realising that they have the freedom to leave you is also important. Letting them go as they wish is the best thing to do for us and them. And silly things like burning or dumping all the monuments can also be helpful. The fact is it is o painful so I had kept all that all these years but a few days ago may sister pushed me to do all that and helped me with it also. It can be disturbing for sometime but slowly it cools our mind. The difficult thing will be for those who were so dependent on their ex, like in my case. All I can say to you is find a good listener/friend here in 7 cups to help you with. And all the best everyone. You are not alone.
Sheye
December 17th, 2015 2:49pm
You don't get over someone if that person meant everything for you. You just slowly learn how to carry on without them. Hating something you love is painful.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 3:56am
it depends on your will.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2016 2:57pm
Honestly, sometimes never. Sometimes you can never get over someone despite how hard you try. Love/relationships are complicated.
Anonymous
January 8th, 2016 4:54pm
It took me one year to get over a break-up when I loved the guy.It was a two years relationship and he never once said 'I love you' during that time.
SpyNipple
January 14th, 2016 3:39pm
Well personally even after a 1 1/2 month relationship with the first girl i felt i ever loved its taken me 6 months and even then i had to stop doing stuff so i didnt see her
Emilysmthn
January 23rd, 2016 2:00pm
You never really "get over" someone. Feelings don't go away, they evolve. So move along and don't let those feeling get the best of you.
cherishedLove67
January 24th, 2016 2:54pm
Getting over someone is different for everyone, there is no set time frame. Try to focus on yourself and become the best version of yourself you can possibly be and you will soon see how strong a person you are and that you truly deserve the best in this world.
FindYourStrength01
February 4th, 2016 3:34am
There is truly no time span at all. I suppose you just accept things as they are and decide to move forward for yourself. Remember you are just as whole now as you were before they entered your life. I've been in your situation before.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2016 1:46pm
It depends on the length of the relationship and the seriousness of the relationship. I would also think that if you had a deep physical connection in addition to an emotional connection that would mean that it could take longer. I think it's hard to give an approximate time frame as every person is different and grief is different for each person. As an example, I was married for almost 13 years. The marriage ended in divorce about 4-5 years ago and I am only just now beginning to feel real healing.
igruaminion
February 6th, 2016 1:38am
Usually the longer you've had strong feelings for them, the longer it takes. It's perfectly normal for the recovery phase to take as long, if not longer than the time you were together if you really fell deeply for that person. However, if you're really intent on moving on as quickly as you can, then as soon as you feel ready, it can help if you engage in activities that you enjoy, but perhaps couldn't do with your partner. It's a handy way of reminding yourself that your happiness isn't as dependent on your ex as you may think, and bit by bit you can start rebuilding your life :)
Lillyhearts1234
February 6th, 2016 3:54pm
It may take up to a week before you can fully get over someone. The best thing I can suggest is moving on. There will be plenty of other people and yeah you may have to break a few hearts along the way and yeah some may break yours, but that's just part of life and that's how you learn to find the one.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 8:55am
It depends. Some take months, some take years. It's just a matter of accepting things you cannot change.
ThaLyche
February 11th, 2016 1:36pm
I believe its more of a how long are you willing to let go and let yourself heal question. It could take years or months, , the whole process is really slow.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2016 7:12pm
I remember asking myself the same question when I went through a breakup with my partner of 5 years. The conclusion I came up with is, how long did you love your partner? What kind of love was it? Was it deep and intense or was it lukewarm and temperamental? I find those who have loved someone for a long time with deep intensity, needed more time in moving on from the person that they love(d). Those who did not feel that sort of intensity, seemed to recover quicker. The question isn't and shouldn't be, how long does it take but rather HOW can I move on from a breakup? Sometimes family and friends are able to help guide us towards a path of healing, sometimes we take this journey alone and meditate on the things we could have improved while with our partner. Either way, each relationship is special and unique in it's own way, so your path to "getting over someone" will be as well. Nor should there be a standard time limit or expiration date needed to get over someone. Only you will be able to truly determine that. Wishing you the best! :)
Anonymous
April 10th, 2017 10:16pm
It depends on the relationship, when I ended it with my boyfriend during an argument it took about a year and a half for me to stop longing for him. But afterwards I realised it was not him I was longing for it was the fact that I blamed myself for why the relationship ended, I hated myself for letting him go. With relationships I've had afterwards getting over someone has been much quicker maybe a couple of months because I didn't blame myself for flaws in the relationships and I just accepted that it was not right.
15Kenzi
June 29th, 2019 11:19pm
To be really honest, you cannot stop loving someone even though it is in the past or it is unrequited. If it is just lust, staying away will help. If you love the other person truly, then that love will never fade. Just accept that she/he doesn’t want you in her/his life anymore and stay away from that person. May be time and distance will help both of you to realize what you both mean to each other. Till then stay away, otherwise you will be hurt so much. Time doesn’t heal anything. It just teaches you to live with that pain. True love will never go away and you cannot forget that person. But remember that if things are to happen, they will realize someday. I am still crying as I write this one, because I know how much it hurts to be ignored by the one who means a lot to me. Save yourself from that pain. Sometimes we don't get closure all the time and it is not required either. We just have to learn to live with that pain.
professionalWhisper1742
July 29th, 2019 6:39pm
After my first divorce, the pain of being left alone would not go away. Then, some night after a few months I had a drink at a bar. I sat down next to an older teacher, I knew vaguely. He had a reputation for being unconventional and a bit wise. After a few drinks I asked him this question: "How long does it take to get over someone?". I expected him to give me a scientific answer, but he just said: "Usually 1.5 times as long as the relationship lasted". "What? My marriage lasted for six years", I exclaimed. We both laughed but he never assured me that he had been joking. It took me a long time to get over this relationship. I dated in between, had a longer relationship too, but it took me at least nine years to get over this first break-up. The teacher was right. It took much longer than I hoped for. Even today, 16 years later, I sometimes dream that some day, as old people I will meet her again and we continue, as if nothing ever happened. A friend of mine was left by his wife and he was in bad shape for a month. Then he stumbled across his new love (who was left by her own man) and together they are now happier than ever before. I guess the answer has to be scientific: "It depends...".
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2015 12:19pm
Everyone is different. As much as no one wants to hear this, it's true. Some people can be over a person rather quickly and some can take a while. Make sure you have a good support network around you to help you as you work through the hurt.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2015 5:45pm
It's on you. You're the one who decide when you are willing to let him/her go. Just take everything as lesson or experience
Anonymous
April 29th, 2015 1:37am
There is no real answer for this, there never will be as everyone is different. As is everyone's relationship and love.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 7:43am
That varies from person to person and it also depends on how much you liked them in the first place. I think
lovelyLynx18
June 21st, 2015 7:32am
There is never a real timeline for getting over someone. Some say that it takes double the time that you were with someone to get over them. I find that to not always be true. You just gotta live your life. Keep busy with friends or family and one day you will realize that it doesn't hurt as bad as it did before.
ReeganB
June 24th, 2015 3:45pm
Unfortunately that varies from person to person. Some people move on almost immediately while others take years to fully come to terms with the loss. Best thing to focus on is being happy with yourself so that when the time comes for that next person to cross your path you're all the more prepared.
MostColorfulHello
June 25th, 2015 1:30am
I would recommend reading up on grief and loss, as every person deals with this transition in separate ways.
Soothinglistener93
June 25th, 2015 6:09am
It takes as long as it takes. Every person has their own timeline. Do not feel like you need to rush anything. Feel your feelings and when the time is right, you will heal.
easyapproach1234
June 25th, 2015 10:22am
There will never be a set time for how long it takes to get over someone. However its different for everyone , and some people may never get over the loss of someone close.
blissfullyaddicted
June 25th, 2015 5:03pm
It depends on how well you know the person, and how close you were to them. Also, the sooner the better of course.
joxx
June 25th, 2015 8:13pm
I think it really depends on how much that person meant and still means to you, how many and what kind of memories you have made and on how much you got used to having that person in your life. But either way it does take time and you really must be patient x