How long does it take to get over someone?

384 Answers.
Last Updated: 02/27/2018 at 12:36am
How long does it take to get over someone?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Top Rated Answer
October 16th, 2014 3:28pm
It takes a long time trust me, if you truly loved him or her from you heart. If I say about my personal experience, it took over years. Feelings don't walk away easily. You will be fine. They say you should stop doing things for someone when you find out that it’s expected rather than appreciated. People have limits you know? And limits break too easily. You cannot keep putting everyone else’s life ahead of yours and think that it counts as love. Maybe it does, a little. But you’re the one who’s gonna get hurt in the end. Stop letting people take you for granted. If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy, then it really doesn’t matter how much you love them, you just need to let them go. I know it’s gonna be really hard for you, since letting go isn’t really your thing. I know it’s gonna take courage, it’s gonna take a hell lotta courage for you to let go and walk away, but so did sticking around. And you handled that pretty well, didn’t you?
Newest Answer
February 27th, 2018 12:36am
That all depends on the type of relationship, everyone is different and getting over someone will take different time.

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Top Rated Answers
October 29th, 2014 1:22pm
I believe that you will never truly get over someone. You will always have that part that holds on to them, once apart of your life, always apart of your life. You just have learn to let things go a little bit. "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If not, then it never was." If they end up not coming back to you, that's ok.
July 21st, 2018 6:31pm
Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.
November 5th, 2014 8:24pm
Relationships have a half-life decay process just like radioactive material. Each one has a different half life. So if you are really into someone and the relationship ends, you'll feel bad for a while, then at some point you'll feel roughly half as bad, then after that same amount of time goes by again you'll feel half-again as bad, etc. The emotion never completely goes away but after a while it becomes so minor you rarely think about the person and when you do the thoughts are distant and happy.
November 16th, 2014 6:36am
There is no certain time. It could take you one month, three months, a year, 6 years, or a lifetime to truly get over someone. You could possibly even always have feelings for the person. BUT you must remember WHY it didn't work out. Don't dwell on the past. Learn from why the relationship wrong in order to continue forward, and find the one it will work out with. Life is to short to dwell and be sad over one person .
December 17th, 2015 6:40pm
You are a person who has feelings, who cared deeply, who experienced the closest thing mortals have to magic, and there is nothing more OK than acknowledging that and mourning it...Now I know you want a timeframe for how long it’ll be until you’re done pining, but the truth is that nobody — no psychologist, advice columnist, therapist, couples counselor or 20-something writer on the Internet ;)— can give that to you. It’s not that simple. So, eventually, the deep sadness you feel as a result of this breakup will become subdued, almost unnoticeable — until it starts popping up unexpectedly. Be prepared for these unexpected moments, since you never know when exactly they’ll come. Maybe you watched a movie and there was a brief mention of his favorite sports team. Maybe a character in a book you’re reading shares his sister’s name. Maybe you’re wearing her favorite color today and you realize it halfway during lunch. And boom: The sad arrives. Have that go-to friend to vent to who won’t make you feel bad for “still” being upset. Keep your favorite snack stored in the back of your closet, ready to be eaten at a moment’s notice. Store your favorite wine in the fridge. Accumulate a playlist of funny YouTube videos to be watched when you need a gut-wrenching laugh.... Buy a really beautiful journal.... Never get to the bottom of your bank account because you never know if you have to splurge on a cute outfit in a moment’s notice. Over time, these unanticipated sad moments will pop up less and less frequently. One day — however many days, weeks, months or years later — you’ll wake up and realize you haven’t had one in a while. But if another comes, don’t beat yourself up about it. Cry if you have to. let it out....You'll be better for it....
October 14th, 2014 2:58pm
It all depends on you. If you continue to surround yourself in the past you will find yourself stuck in it. To get over someone you have to look toward the future and and search for something better. If you really want to get over someone you will get over someone. It's gonna hurt at first but just like any cut or scrape it will heal. I like to tell people its not the end of the world its the end of a bad day.
September 22nd, 2014 7:56pm
14 days. It only takes 14 days to break a habit but it takes a little longer for a relationship. Its easy to say you don't care but how do you really feel inside
January 7th, 2016 8:34am
it just take a few seconds my friend if one understands the importance of his life and of his own self. You just need to ask yourself how long you want to suffer because of someone else. Don't make your life so cheap that anyone can alter its happiness. if you have once left someone then why you are keeping dat person in your head. Can't you abide your own decisions. Don't you have control of .ur own mind. And one must understand that in life people and things come and go. You can't keep everything n everyone in your life for all the time. Don't depend your happiness upon others. take control of your happiness. Don't suffer my friend. There is God inside you don't make him suffer. It is the eternal happiness which is inside us. Then why are you suffering?...just because of ur mind manipulation....u know dat things n people come in our life but they can't stay for whole life. And if you know it then you should understand it n when u understand it all your suffering will go. We are the eternal happiness...God in living form...this universe is our own creation....enjoy it without getting attached to it...things n people always come and go.
November 14th, 2014 11:01am
Its how fast you understand yourself after the much efforts you take to socialize and spice up your live new adventures, skills, hobbies. Breaking up is always an opportunity to empower yourself, The faster you do that the faster you get over with your ex.
July 1st, 2015 4:46pm
It depends upon how strong your bond was. sometimes you may think you're over someone but you may still have feelings and you may still miss them .
August 14th, 2015 3:06am
It is a very difficult question which is linked to a lot of the things from the relationship. Was it a long relationship? How close were you? Were you living together? In which way did you part? Nice or painful? I had a couple of one-night flings and they don't hurt much do they now? However when my girlfriend with who i was with 5 years under the same roof and planned to marry said to me she is moving to another country, i was devastated! For she was the blood and i was the veins... To answer your question, it depends of the depth of the bond you had with that one person. And sometimes it can take years. In my particular case, i will never get over my gf for i wanted to spend my life with her.
November 11th, 2014 8:10pm
It depends... :( It depends how long you knew the person and how close you were... It can be anywhere from 3 months to 10 years ... :(
September 11th, 2014 11:06am
For me it was 6 months. Each individual is different, therefore, it will be different for each individual.
April 4th, 2015 1:45pm
It varies for each individual. Sometimes we never get over them, we just move on because we have a life and have to succeed in it.
November 3rd, 2014 10:29am
I wish I could say that there is a definite time, but there isn't. You will only get over someone if you accept that it is over. It happens with time but the time depends on how strong you are and how adaptable you are. It is just like another change that you have to go through in your day to day life. But it will be tough until you accept the facts and move on!
November 9th, 2014 1:35am
It takes as long as you want it to take. You should always move in your own pace, even if it is hard. Though, keep in mind that you should never drown in your sorrows.
July 29th, 2015 4:12pm
Well for me it took 1.5 years. But then I made a lot of mistakes. I understood one thing, that the moment you get up, the moment you say that I will get over someone, your change mechanism starts ,you start to EVOLVE, yes Adapt against what was keeping you down, and trust me from that point there is no return , you will only go higher and higher towards Life & Beauty & Eternity.
July 10th, 2015 7:05am
Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being.
March 11th, 2015 3:10pm
Breakups are so personal and so variable cause there is no certain time. It could take a month,a year or a lifetime to truly get over someone. You could possibly even always have feelings for the person. BUT you must remember WHY it didn't work out. Don't dwell on the past. Learn from why the relationship wrong in order to continue forward, and find the one it will work out with. Life is to short to dwell and be sad over one person .
September 21st, 2014 9:57am
depends how long you were with them but it could take 3 weeks, a whole year or even your whole life just depends how close yous were and how long you were together for and how well you knew each other......
October 25th, 2014 9:00pm
There's no time limit, but what is guaranteed that it will be someday. When the time is right, you will get over them if you allow yourself to.
March 6th, 2015 7:26pm
How long it takes to get over someone totally depends on the situation and also on you as a person. If you weren't that serious about the other person, you might find it pretty easy to get over someone quickly, but if the relationship was more important to you (or if you didn't want the relationship to end) it can take a really long time to get over. Hang in there and it gets easier with time!
November 10th, 2014 8:53pm
There isn't a fixed period of time. Break ups are hurtful and any wound needs time to heal up. Don't rush it, live it.
November 14th, 2014 3:42pm
In my own experience, getting over someone takes some months, maybe six months. This time is necessary to heal some injures caused by unhealthy relations. It's difficult because you give too much of you to someone you love.
April 11th, 2015 8:06pm
The amount of time it takes to get over someone varies, but the most honest answer I can give is that it takes a person the same amount of time it takes them to realize that they don't need someone to make them feel as beautiful as they truly are. :3
August 16th, 2015 3:11pm
that depends on a lot of different factors. things like how long you were with the person, how intimate you were. whether you feel you had closure or not, your self esteem and sense of self worth. sometimes it takes a long time but the truth is. no matter how long it takes it will constantly become easier to deal with. each day will be a tiny bit easier to take.
August 8th, 2015 7:23pm
It takes a lot of time. Depends on how much do you love them. If it's real, it won't be temporary, it will last a long time. If it's just "by the way I love you" you will get over it pretty soon
November 15th, 2014 2:51pm
It depends on how long you were into least that's what I gathered...and from experiences..
July 10th, 2015 2:50am
There is no solid answer. Depending on the relationship, how it went, and what kind of person you are, it could range from a month to never. As someone who doesn't get close to people too much, having someone that I care about or maybe even love means it will be a lasting feeling for me. If you are an open person who connects more easily with people and has good friends to help you along the way, getting over someone can be made easier. Generally the longer the relationship went on the longer it will take to get over that person.
September 20th, 2014 1:06am
It depends on how you feel about the person and the relationship, there is no set time for everyone to get over a person.
August 15th, 2015 7:44pm
There is no time limit on it. Don't feel bad because you feel you are hung up on them still. Take your time to cope with it.
November 7th, 2014 4:48am
It depends on the individual. If you really want to move on, you will. Your'e responsible for your own happiness
September 30th, 2014 10:15am
It depends on the desire to get over someone. It can be done immediately or may take some time. It also depends on the importance of the person and what made you want to get over them.
November 4th, 2014 8:54pm
The amount of time it takes to get over someone is definitely a personal thing and depends on the person. Some people get over people quickly, while others need a long healing period.
July 4th, 2015 12:11pm
It varies depends on how much you like or love your ex or your crush, sometimes it takes no longer that a few weeks and other times months.
July 5th, 2015 11:27pm
It depends on the person, it can be hard, but you have the power inside to become a better person from it whenever you are ready! :)
October 23rd, 2014 8:36am
I think its different for each and everyone, because we go through different kind of relationships with different kind of people. For me personally, i think it will be faster to get over someone if i understand the reasons behind the break up and learn things from it to make me a better person.
November 13th, 2014 9:31am
It depends from person to person. Some people are fine a few days later,whereas others take as long as years.
November 15th, 2014 5:17pm
It really depends on the relationship you had with that person, but you should let yourself move on
August 5th, 2015 9:17am
'Getting over' someone is 'letting go' of someone. and letting takes as long as you hold on.
February 24th, 2016 2:09am
i would say, that it depends. it depends on how much you liked this person. in the case of love, it literally takes forever. also, we all have different definitions of "getting over someone". sometimes it might be trying to forget the person completely. in this case, you never forget someone you liked or loved. getting over someone, could also mean "moving on no matter what". this does not mean you forget the person, it only means that life goes on. how long it take for you to move on? well, that depends on you. you have to want to move on and you have to try. once you start trying to move on, it becomes easier to get over someone.
March 6th, 2016 2:43pm
I've heard people say it takes half the amount of time you were together. So 6 months to get over a 1 year long relationship. But this is all relative and time seems to go by differently for everyone. Do not worry about how little time it may take or how long it may take. It is painful on different levels for everybody, but we must remember this isn't abnormal. Relationships are a part of life for many people. We must remember that a past relationship was a time in our lives and our lives continue to move forward. We must tell ourselves that this doesn't define us. Whether they broke up with you or you broke up with them, life is not stagnant. These events occurred for reasons and remember that you are strong enough to get through this. You are not alone if you ever feel like you aren't strong enough. And you are not unlovable.
October 31st, 2014 1:52pm
There is no time limit. Everyone is different because every relationship is different. Some people talk a week others a year.
August 13th, 2015 3:44am
It depends on how attached you are/were to them, and how long you were together. But if you've already broken up, than inside, you're already over them.
February 3rd, 2016 4:53pm
Sometimes you don't. But that's okay. Some people were meant to be exceptions in our life for one reason or another. After some time, if you trust yourself to get better, you'll accept that what's done is done, and everything that could have been done has been realized. Take what you can from all of it, because all your tomorrows need every single one of your yesterdays in order to be better than today- no matter how bad our yesterdays have been.
October 22nd, 2014 2:01pm
The time it takes to get over the loss of someone you love depends on a number of factors and can't be predicted, nevertheless, it's important to realize that the feelings you are experiencing will eventually fade and you will be able to move on with your life and form new, loving relationships.
November 2nd, 2014 3:38pm
It depends on how much time did you expend with that person and how much did you love them and what was your situation. Sometimes it can take little time, but sometimes it takes so much time, it all depends.
November 3rd, 2014 3:18pm
I depends from the person and from the situation. If the relationship has been serious and long, or if there just were a lot of feelings then the getting over-process can take some time. It doesn't matter how long it will take, the most important part is that you'll get over the person on a way that you're able to move on in your life!
November 19th, 2014 6:04am
There is not definite time limit. "Getting over someone" depends on you and whether or not your a willing to move forward with your life. If not, then you will sit in slump and continue to feel upset. Whenever you are ready to head in a more positive direction, then you will.
July 26th, 2015 12:13pm
For me personally, it takes around the same amount of time me and the person were together. I took about a year to get completely over a one year relationship (no more sadness and triggers), and it's been a year but i'm still not over a 3 years relationship.
August 13th, 2015 4:57pm
A lot of that depends on the strength of the bond you had and the length of time you were together. Whether you're grieving a romantic relationship, friendship, or familial relationship, the time to get over it will lengthen depending on these factors. Over time it will get easier to deal with the feelings of loss and sadness. And if at any point you feel as though you want to hurt yourself over the feelings, or you feel as though your mental health isn't improving, it's best to reach out to a professional.
January 13th, 2016 4:35am
The answer to this question is relative really. It differs from person to person. And, it depends on what you both had between you. Some just take days and some take lifetimes.
January 29th, 2016 7:58am
Depends on our capacity to list out the flaws about the relationshi we have with that person and get over the person
January 29th, 2016 12:07pm
There is no set time, when you're over someone you know it and you can feel it in yourself. It's not based on time, but experiences.
August 16th, 2016 10:10pm
However long it takes for you to realize that you don't need that person in your life to be happy. You can create your own happiness!
November 20th, 2014 6:26pm
Depends on the person, really.......................................................................
March 9th, 2015 7:59pm
Everyone is different, and for some it may time more time than others. It depends on how serious the realtionship may have been and how much you cared for the person. Nevertheless, if you have an open heart and mind, and allow yourself to move on, it'll only a matter of time.
July 2nd, 2015 3:47pm
The answer for this is dependent on much good you can squeeze out from a particular situation and how much grateful you can be, for a situation, shall indirectly lead you to your solution..
August 6th, 2015 5:40pm
It depends, it could be few days, few months or up to few years. That's normal to be sad, heartbroken, hurtful etc. But give oneself a timeframe to move on, that would be more useful cause we are not living for the "ex" but for our own.
Recent Answers
January 15th, 2018 8:05pm
It all depends on how much you liked the person and how hurt you feel. Sometimes it takes months, other times it takes days.
November 20th, 2017 7:11am
It really depends. My first relationship lasted a month with a guy I didn’t love, I got over it within a week. My second relationship as well as my third however took me a while because we developed real love feelings. Honestly it just depends on when you feel ready to move on with your life.
April 10th, 2017 10:16pm
It depends on the relationship, when I ended it with my boyfriend during an argument it took about a year and a half for me to stop longing for him. But afterwards I realised it was not him I was longing for it was the fact that I blamed myself for why the relationship ended, I hated myself for letting him go. With relationships I've had afterwards getting over someone has been much quicker maybe a couple of months because I didn't blame myself for flaws in the relationships and I just accepted that it was not right.
March 18th, 2017 5:44pm
There's no definitive period for "getting over" someone. Even the idea of "getting over" something is quite illusory and sets a false expectation which diminishes the real difficulty of that process, as it frames your emotional struggle as something you should just forget about. Rather than "getting over" something, try and "get through" something instead, which includes a process of working through your emotional issues in order to secure some kind of emotional /psychological closure that is directed at understanding why the relationship ended / was not working out. The ultimate goal is to reach a state of "acceptance" as opposed to "just forgetting about it all". How long this process takes can depend on : 1) the depth of emotional investment you had in that person 2) how proactively you work on moving on from those emotions 3) whether you have a positive & supportive network and resources to guide you towards a better place
July 5th, 2016 8:05am
There's no specific amount of time it takes to get over someone. It really depends on you and how much you were into the person. It can be quick or it can be long. In the end, it depends on you.
May 30th, 2016 4:33am
This really depends on the person and the confrontation/breakup. Some people get over their ex's quickly, while others take a long time. Either way it's normal.
May 29th, 2016 11:22pm
I'd honestly say that it's rather easy getting over the person themselves. It's the damage that sometimes a toxic relationship can leave behind that can take a great deal of time to heal from. For myself, it took about a month to get over the person but it took a long time to heal from the damage the person caused and be able to move foward in a new relationship without fear, reservations, or carrying pain from the past. I know people say in order to get over the old you replace with something new and to a degree that's true but my advice would be definitely to heal before you deal! Trust yourself, your instincts and let time heal your wounds no matter how long that takes for you. You will come out like pure gold in the end. Promise!
April 25th, 2016 9:17am
Whoever long it takes. Everyone deals with things differently. So for some it may be a relatively short time while for others it takes longer
April 19th, 2016 4:29am
The old saying is 1 month for every year you were together but it really depends on you, how you felt,what they meant to you and the reasons for splitting up. I'd suggest you chat with an active listener.
April 5th, 2016 5:47am
There isn't a definite lenth, you try very hard and cope with it. It may take weeks or months or years, but eventually it will hurt less and you do.
March 17th, 2016 4:17am
I'm not sure about anyone else but it takes me anywhere from a few months to a year. The important thing is identifying your emotions and comparing their severity as time goes on. For example, you could write down how bad you feel one week and explain why and then compare that to how you feel about the person the week after. Slowly, you'll learn to be without them if you can't have them back.
March 1st, 2016 7:12pm
I remember asking myself the same question when I went through a breakup with my partner of 5 years. The conclusion I came up with is, how long did you love your partner? What kind of love was it? Was it deep and intense or was it lukewarm and temperamental? I find those who have loved someone for a long time with deep intensity, needed more time in moving on from the person that they love(d). Those who did not feel that sort of intensity, seemed to recover quicker. The question isn't and shouldn't be, how long does it take but rather HOW can I move on from a breakup? Sometimes family and friends are able to help guide us towards a path of healing, sometimes we take this journey alone and meditate on the things we could have improved while with our partner. Either way, each relationship is special and unique in it's own way, so your path to "getting over someone" will be as well. Nor should there be a standard time limit or expiration date needed to get over someone. Only you will be able to truly determine that. Wishing you the best! :)
February 27th, 2016 12:15am
It depends on how long you two were together, or knew each other. It depends on the amount of time you spent with each other, like moments. It also depends on how deep the feelings were.
February 12th, 2016 8:14am
It is not a day, a month or a year long process. It depends on your willingness to get over someone. No one can help you get over it except you. People may pick up broken pieces of your heart but its you who needs to glue it back together.
February 11th, 2016 8:02pm
It depends. Getting over someone could take from days to years. All depends on you, your relationship, and everything else. I have gotten over people within 2 months, I have gotten over people within 6 months, There are some that I can get over within a week. However, it depends on how you broke up with them. Was it mutual, bad, good, me, or them? How much time invested? A lot of memories? But there's a process, that I know for sure. Always have to clean the "house" - get rid of all ties/connections to them. It just helps. Then go out, find a hobby, find something to do, to occupy the alone time. Then go talk to people, talk about anything BUT the relationship. Why bring it up? You're trying to get over it. That's as far as I know.
February 11th, 2016 1:36pm
I believe its more of a how long are you willing to let go and let yourself heal question. It could take years or months, , the whole process is really slow.
February 11th, 2016 8:55am
It depends. Some take months, some take years. It's just a matter of accepting things you cannot change.
February 10th, 2016 1:45pm
A long time i'm still trying to get through on something that happened over a year aago and never would have come this far without friends and a listening ear here on 7Cups.
February 9th, 2016 4:41pm
Took me several months to let him go, but he's still there somewhere in my mind even now. Like.. I definitely don't wish for anything anymore again, but I never stop caring. He needed only a few weeks (less?) to get over me though.
February 6th, 2016 3:54pm
It may take up to a week before you can fully get over someone. The best thing I can suggest is moving on. There will be plenty of other people and yeah you may have to break a few hearts along the way and yeah some may break yours, but that's just part of life and that's how you learn to find the one.
February 6th, 2016 3:28am
That depends but at most it should take 6 months at least trust me I know.Just as long as you avoid them as much as possible
February 6th, 2016 1:38am
Usually the longer you've had strong feelings for them, the longer it takes. It's perfectly normal for the recovery phase to take as long, if not longer than the time you were together if you really fell deeply for that person. However, if you're really intent on moving on as quickly as you can, then as soon as you feel ready, it can help if you engage in activities that you enjoy, but perhaps couldn't do with your partner. It's a handy way of reminding yourself that your happiness isn't as dependent on your ex as you may think, and bit by bit you can start rebuilding your life :)
February 4th, 2016 1:46pm
It depends on the length of the relationship and the seriousness of the relationship. I would also think that if you had a deep physical connection in addition to an emotional connection that would mean that it could take longer. I think it's hard to give an approximate time frame as every person is different and grief is different for each person. As an example, I was married for almost 13 years. The marriage ended in divorce about 4-5 years ago and I am only just now beginning to feel real healing.
February 4th, 2016 3:34am
There is truly no time span at all. I suppose you just accept things as they are and decide to move forward for yourself. Remember you are just as whole now as you were before they entered your life. I've been in your situation before.
February 3rd, 2016 8:42pm
Every person is different. Putting expectations on yourself will only cause more anxiety about your place in your journey. Although if you feel that your feelings are holding you back from opportunities in your life, then would be an appropriate time to have a non-judgemental conversation about what's going on :)
February 3rd, 2016 6:09pm
It all really depends on you you have got to be strong and keep yourself busy stay on the right track and do don't fall prey to temptations before you know it youl be over it all the best :)
February 3rd, 2016 2:36am
It really depends on how attatched you were to that person. But it is okay to take as much time as you need to get over someone.
February 1st, 2016 8:06am
this depends on the type of person you are and the type of person they were. if they were toxic but you had good days with them then a few weeks but if you had a long time friend ship but they suddenly changed then maybe months or days.
January 31st, 2016 8:20pm
It's different for everyone. It also depend on who you're trying to get over and how you're getting over them.
January 30th, 2016 1:02am
How long would you need? that's pretty much depending on how attached you were to him/her