You are a person who has feelings, who cared deeply, who experienced the closest thing mortals have to magic, and there is nothing more OK than acknowledging that and mourning it...Now I know you want a timeframe for how long it’ll be until you’re done pining, but the truth is that nobody — no psychologist, advice columnist, therapist, couples counselor or 20-something writer on the Internet ;)— can give that to you. It’s not that simple. So, eventually, the deep sadness you feel as a result of this breakup will become subdued, almost unnoticeable — until it starts popping up unexpectedly.
Be prepared for these unexpected moments, since you never know when exactly they’ll come. Maybe you watched a movie and there was a brief mention of his favorite sports team. Maybe a character in a book you’re reading shares his sister’s name. Maybe you’re wearing her favorite color today and you realize it halfway during lunch.
And boom: The sad arrives.
Have that go-to friend to vent to who won’t make you feel bad for “still” being upset. Keep your favorite snack stored in the back of your closet, ready to be eaten at a moment’s notice. Store your favorite wine in the fridge. Accumulate a playlist of funny YouTube videos to be watched when you need a gut-wrenching laugh.... Buy a really beautiful journal.... Never get to the bottom of your bank account because you never know if you have to splurge on a cute outfit in a moment’s notice.
Over time, these unanticipated sad moments will pop up less and less frequently. One day — however many days, weeks, months or years later — you’ll wake up and realize you haven’t had one in a while. But if another comes, don’t beat yourself up about it. Cry if you have to. let it out....You'll be better for it....