Why is it so hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

182 Answers
Last Updated: 06/12/2019 at 7:43am
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Jennifer Kind, LPC, CDWF, EPC


I believe that we are all perfectly imperfect + finding compassion for ourselves + others is the most healing thing we can do.

Top Rated Answers
April 24th, 2015 7:42pm
There are many techniques that you can try to make your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend realise that they have been acting stupidly and that you are the one for them. It all starts with reassessing the contact you have with your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend. Contacting your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend techniques are crucial if you want to encourage positive results that make your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend actually want to talk to you again and initiate conversation , When you get these right your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend will stop ignoring you and you will no longer have to worry about why your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend won't talk to you. It will be like it used to be at the start of your relationship when you both couldn't wait to talk to each other. Seems impossible? Not with the right tools
April 18th, 2015 8:52am
Well, most of the time, we can't help but keep thinking about the relationship that was before, and it's hard to accept the fact that it's over now. So every time you are interacting with your ex, deep inside you're constantly thinking about it all.
March 2nd, 2015 5:14am
It's hard because at one point we felt something for them and we are scared to ever feel it again. Especially if that person hurt us.
September 7th, 2015 9:40pm
Not everyone is the same. It could be hard because of the feelings that are still involved and what was shared between the two of you.
May 10th, 2015 4:39am
Sometimes we still have various feelings towards our ex partners. Feelings can include anger, sadness, guilt, and many more. Talking to your ex can evoke these feelings and make it difficult. Sometimes it helps to share your feelings with them. It can help bring closure for you.
June 17th, 2015 7:18am
Our exes know us more intimately than other friends typically do. They know our darkest fears & our greatest aspirations. They've seen us naked: emotionally & literally. It can be difficult re-establishing boundaries when the residual feelings & intimate knowledge no longer manifest in your relationship with that person.
October 22nd, 2016 3:07pm
Many times because there is a history with your relationship, unresolved feelings may still be an issue. When you talk to them feelings arise that you might have been suppressing for a while or maybe you still feel the same chemistry you had with each other before you broke up. Either way it is possible to talk civilly with an ex but make sure to guard your heart.
January 26th, 2016 3:24am
It is hard because at some point you both were in love. You each saw different sides of each other. It can be hard to talk to someone you once loved. I been through that.
March 11th, 2015 7:13pm
Because you don't want to be reminded to the relationship you had. To the breakup you had. You don't want to remember the promises you made each other, because you didn't/couldn't keep them. It takes really very much to talk to your ex, be it boy or girlfriend, and truly forgive the person.
April 16th, 2015 4:29pm
Because you remember what you used to have and tend to forget why you broke up. It can be made easier by remembering the motto: "Ex's are ex's for a reason" and you should always remember the reasons you broke up.
October 26th, 2016 4:41pm
Well, you know it that you're not connected to them as much and that it didn't work out. Also you're afraid that they might not like you.
June 14th, 2015 7:38pm
I think that talking to an ex-boyfriend and/or ex-girlfriend is hard because of course it's going to be pretty awkward depending on where you two left things. It would be kind of difficult because there maybe some feelings still there on both ends or just on that one person.
November 11th, 2016 12:14pm
because you guys share personal stuff and things you thought and never would.you may have broken up but the feelings and memory you guys share together will always be there no matter what
August 16th, 2016 6:03am
Its not hard actually...it just brings lots of memories up which have some really powerful emotions connected with them...which makes it hard
September 14th, 2016 12:47am
Because you may still have some deeper feelings for them that extend beyond friendship. And its hard to see them with someone else and be happy for them when you have been in a relationship
September 16th, 2016 3:22am
It could be hard to communicate with an ex if the relationship ended badly. Sometimes it is hard to get over old feelings.
February 16th, 2018 5:57am
Its hard to talk to an ex because by talking to them it resurfaces all of the amazing memories you two once shared. Letting that part of you go was hard enough, trying to talk to the person after u finally let it go, kills you inside.
March 2nd, 2015 2:34pm
Because they were once an part of your life but are usually no longer in it. As an ex, it usually means there was some pain or hurt during the break-up. There may be pieces of yourself that have changed because of going through this event and talking to an ex may make you think about these changes, whether they be good or bad, and that can make talking to them difficult. Usually people like to avoid people who they associate with causing them some pain, which is a usual thing to happen in a break up and might be why you find it so hard to talk to them.
June 22nd, 2015 7:41pm
its normal all the memories and good times pop up and with it comes the sorrow of the breakup as well
October 5th, 2016 7:47am
Because normally, A distance forms due to the memories of what used to be. Where the two of you used to be close, you are no longer so close, and the friction caused by this new distance often makes it more difficult to talk to an ex, or get along with them, until things have moved on, and the two of you can be casual again.
October 21st, 2016 12:45pm
It all depends on the reasons in where you ended things, good, bad or fairly mutual. If anything it would obviously be difficult if things ended pretty bad, but it would be hard also if one of the party's still had feelings and the other didnt.
October 29th, 2016 4:33am
Speaking to an ex usually bring up the emotion you had with them when you were together which cause you pain due to the fact you broke up.
January 11th, 2018 9:34pm
It’s hard to talk to an ex-lover because there’s some feeling of guilt. Sometimes a person may feel like they could’ve saved the relation ship.
July 27th, 2015 3:40pm
Its just awkward, you once were so much, so together , so close and now you are completely apart, it can just be very confronting
September 17th, 2016 7:29pm
It can be many things. Might be because of all the memories shared together. Or could be because of guilt or regret based on how it ended.
September 18th, 2016 8:03pm
Because it has a lot of history.. It brings back old memories and wounds which are hurtful and challenging.. It leaves a bad aftertaste.. My heart races weirdly when I talk to my ex.. I don't enjoy it..
October 5th, 2016 9:29am
I think it is because you are afraid that you may get those feelings back as you know them better than someone new.
September 15th, 2016 9:57pm
Because many times those feelings and past emotions began to rise again. You remember the good and also the bad, it can be difficult.
October 5th, 2016 11:48am
It is hard, because for a while after a break up there has been a break in trust. It is possible to stay friends, but you will need a little space and time to heal. A potential friendship is possible because you likely had things in common which brought you together romantically. However, there is no pressure either way. Usually these things have a way of working themselves out.
October 8th, 2016 3:37am
There may still be feelings or hidden anger/confusion (depending on the breakup) sometimes it's easy to be friends with an ex and sometimes it's hard