This is a common question that a lot of people struggle with. Hating yourself, or self-loathing, doesn't just happen by chance. It's usually a conclusion you've arrived at because of things (people or events) in your past that have caused emotional distress. Rather than realising that the person or events in the past are the cause of your present problems, you've decided or convinced yourself for whatever reason that you are the reason that life isn't going your way. And more than being a 'reason', you've gone further and decided that you and the problems you've faced and continue to face are one and the same. In effect, as things stand right now, you can't separate who you are from problems you've encountered both in the past and the present. So, with that in mind, to begin changing this mindset, you first need to take a fresh, honest look at the past and what led you to deciding that you are the cause of the problems you're facing, Of course, that's easier said than done so I'd recommend doing this with a professionally trained counsellor, who'll gently, respectfully guide you and help you revisit that stressful part of your life safely, and without the potential to re-traumatise you. Once you can see how you came to this conclusion about yourself, you may be able to identify the steps which led you to reaching this definition, and then re-define who you are, and as a result make new choices about where you want to go next. Hate is a powerful negative expression of anger, which itself has its root in sadness, And anger is in itself not a bad thing, It simply represents your desire to stop those things happening which are going against the vision of what you want or what you feel is right. By seeing a counsellor, you may be giving yourself the opportunity to bring exactly what you want, and who you want to be, back into your life.