2 weeks ago i was in an amazing relationship, or i thought. I was planning our wedding, We just found out we are pregnant with.. 3 babies. And overnight he advised me that he didn't want to be together anymore and then systematically deleted me from his life. From social media, blocked my phone calls etc . Fast forward 2 weeks and i was informed he has gone back with his ex girlfriend. I NEED advice on how to get over this pain because the betrayal i feel is killing me.
I go no contact for a period of about three months- removing them from social networking/phone and gradually i start to feel better :) I make sure I keep myself busy with activities and meeting up with friends. A good cry now and then also helps to let out emotion
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but its not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person-- without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
Dealing with depression after a breakup can truly be a heart breaking time, and sadly, one that we'll all have to experience. After a breakup, its extremely important to realize that you don't need to pretend that it doesn't hurt. You can admit that you still have feelings for this person, and that your feelings are valid. Make sure that you take time to care for yourself and have an amazing support system. if you don't feel you have that, you can always find it here at 7 cups of tea. we're all here to help.
Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.
In my experience I deal with it by keeping myself busy and do the things I love, surround myself with my friends. Although it was really hard for me since I really loved the person and that I'm really attached to him before, everything I do reminds me of him.
Well, I went through a very rough time with a relationship of mine - it all felt so real, so right, and I thought I'd probably marry her some day. Life had other plans, and I moved to Wisconsin; and she found someone else and left me for him. I was heartbroken for a very long time, and it ended up making me irrational. I'd say to stay true to yourself, and move forward, no matter how much pain there is. I was basically mourning over spilled milk for months, and it got me nothing but more pain. Sooner or later, someone who's a perfect match will come your way, and you have to keep your eyes open to see it, rather than staying blind and in the past.
You look after your basic needs. You rearrange your space and shared things in a way that works for you and is decisive, Use your physical environment to mark a change, to draw a line. Get a new and better haircut. Avoid tubs of ice cream. Be kind to yourself and you wait. Change will come to you imperceptibly, until one day you will realise the sun is shinnig ad the birds are singing.
Firstly, I think it as an experience. An experience which I will never forget about. An experience which will change all my thoughts, treats and future. The lessons I learned will always help me in my future relationships (either with friends or another one). What happens, happens and time will never stop for me. I will cry, be sad, but think it as a part of my life and continue. One door closes, another one opens.
Dealing with depression after a break up is certainly hard. Lot of thoughts drive through your mind. Was it about me? Wasnt i good enough? What could i have done better? These thoughts lead to depression. Feeling of low self worth and often a desire of revenge (if it was a rough break up) accompany it. It is hard to comfort someone going through a break up. Person is reminiscing good memories they had with a feeling of loss. It is necessary to comfort the person in such a way that wont blacken their former partner in their eyes, as friends usually do. 'she was a bitch' 'he doesnt deserve you' and similar thoughts can only worsen the guilt and/or depression and prolong the time of mental recovery after a break up. Comfort them with kind and encouraging words and tell them they need to face the facts and move on, as it is the only way to deal with a break up. I hope this answer helps, my dear questioner. Do not try to take revenge over your former beloved ones as your feelings of anger and depression will pass. It takes time but you ARE a good person and you DO deserve someone to love you. You will find them! Remember your former beloved ones with respect and dignity. And let them go.
Well, i had a fresh breakup. And i thought that it is the end of the world. I felt this way for almost two weeks. And that was the reason i'm contributing with other people on 7 Cups of Tea :) . First you need to sit down with yourself and think about what happened for one last time! And if you are sure that you won't get back... So delete everything that remembers you with your ex. Think about your future, dream about what you want to do and start achieving. Would you like to be in one-sided love!? That is not love! You are torturing yourself. The common thing after every breakup which aches you is you think deeply inside yourself saying : maybe that is just a joke or a prank.... Maybe one day we will get back..maybe i get a msg from my ex saying he/she was sorry and let's get over that. So after all just move one. You will find the right person in the right time You she be independent. Never link your happiness to someone or something as you know everything is transient. Never lose hope or faith. And enjoy your life with your family or friends. Do the things which make you happy! :)
In my personal experience, break-ups are hard whether it is a romantic relationship or friendship. To cope with the depression that follows after a break up: 1. Tell myself that these feelings will pass over time 2. Look at all of the good times I had in the past with this individual 3. Ask myself, what were the “red flags” in the relationship that I have could been ignoring? 4. What will I do differently the next time? 5. Self-care, looking at all of the positive aspects of myself 6. I do something positive for someone else, someone always needs love 7. Prayer and meditation, the mind needs a moment to be clear These are all the things that have helped me to move forward from a break-up.
personally? i make it a point to take care of myself. because, at the end of the day, guess who's most important? you are, lovely. so take care of yourself and keep your chin up, because you've plenty of time to find a yin to your yang.
Everyone deals with depression in their own way. The best thing you can do is try to focus on your daily routine. Don't change what you used to do (for example, going to the gym or watching your favourite shows during a specific time of day). Try to keep in contact with those that love you the most (friends and family). Don't push anyone away because all they really want to do is help.
Staying occupied. Doing things you love with a strong group of friends, going out more. Being occupied and doing things that you enjoy gets your mind off a break up. Also, consider getting out there! Sometimes it feels a lot better to start talking to someone new.
The pain was way too much for me to even comprehend for a while.. Watching my favourite movies, and tv shows took me out of the real world for a little bit and made me feel happy again. Distracting yourself can sometimes be one of the best things, especially right at the start when you don't want to accept what happened.
Make sure you understand WHY the other person broke up with you. Not knowing will always put a weight on you and you'll keep going back to that same question. Next, understand that you are not less of a person. Just because that relationship or another one didn't work out, doesn't mean they'll all be that way. Also, understand your worth. You shouldn't feel any less worth of yourself just because it didn't work out with that one person or how many people. Try your best to move on and understand that just because the relationship is over, doesn't mean your life is. Your beautiful and wonderful no matter what! :-)
First off, you have to assure yourself that it isn't the end of the world. Second, do fun things with your friends to get your mind off of him/her, and try to take up some new hobbies. Pets also help too. :)
Honestly, time is just about the only thing that makes the pain go away. Breakups are tremendously difficult to deal with, but over time you will meet someone or take up a new hobby that makes you happy, even if you don't think you will.
Breakups are usually pretty tough. You're left questioning yourself, your values, you own value as well as all of the 'woulda, coulda and shoulda' things. For me, after a breakup, after that initial sting passes, I always realized the things I'd not miss about someone, and how I'd start to be able to be myself again. I think we all adjust who we are to fit who we are with. Sometimes those changes aren't healthy, and sometimes the habits we fall back into after a breakup aren't healthy either. So, it's during this time that some self-discovery is a good thing, and possibly trying to learn how to be alone and ok with it. It's usually when we're not actively seeking to fill that void that we stand a chance of finding something real, lest we go in filling in the blanks with someone who may or may not work out for us.
I deal with a break up by chatting with friends, picking up new hobbies, and trying to regain a sense of normalcy without a partner.
I always feel the most important part of dealing with depression after a breakup is acknowledging that it is ok to be sad for awhile. The trick is not to let yourself fall down a hole, its ok to be sad for awhile but don't forget to live your life.
First you have to let your feelings out. Want to cry? cry for days until you are all dried up, dont bottle your feelings because it can make you feel worse later. After you have mourned the relationship try to always have company, call a friend or a relative, dont be alone because you can go back to feeling sad, try to keep yourself distracted, and no sad music! go and party, have coffee, or dinner with someone. even if you dont feel like going out, it will help to keep you entertained.
Remind myself daily that better things have yet to come, not to slack off on physical activity and stay motivated so I don't sink further, make notes to eat and no matter how much I want to lie in bed, to get up and take a shower. I try to remember that if it's not meant to be then someone better is out there for me. I also lean on good friends to support me and talk with me so that things don't stay bottled up inside.
Try to watch yourself as if it would be a 3rd person. See the thoughts and depressed emotion arise and just think to yourself "ah, these are the sad emotions and depressed thoughts coming in like a cloud. It will also go away, just like the clouds in the sky". Putting a distance between yourself and your thoughts can help you see your emotions in a more neutral and observant way.
It's good to cry, let it all out. After awhile you find the sliver lining. Sometimes it's just not meant to be, but it's up to you to pick yourself up and put your chin up and learn to live again, even without that person. There is always a bright side to everything and sometimes the grass is greener on the other side.
DISTRACTION! Get out there into the world and talk to people, friends, strangers, get your mind off.
Sometimes it isn't a simple answer like that, a breakup causes a lot of emotional trauma and some people heal with time, friendships, talking, people and hobbies etc. whereas others feel the need for therapy and / or a medication to help relieve the depression.
Focus on what kept you happy before you had the relationship, cry and moan. Get it all out. Then breathe and tell yourself that you were once happy without anyone and you can be happy again. Everything takes time but within time, it gets better. Do things you once loved to do, take little steps, but as long as those steps are towards a better direction, it's always an improvement.
This is a very common and difficult problem-- it's normal and okay to feel sad. Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship however you like. Then, when a week or 2 has passed, force yourself to get up and out into the world. You don't need to start dating or find a new relationship, you can do anything. Don't define yourself by the partner you do or don't have-- set a new goal for yourself and pursue that. And new love will follow eventually.
Bottling it up, is one of the worst things you can do! :D Talk about it to someone, tell them everything, how you feel and how it's affected you... being able to talk to someone can help a whole lot!
Depending on how long the relationship was, the breakup may be harder. If it was a more than a year length relationship that is going to be hard to get over but eventually you will get over it. But until then just try to get him/her out of your mind. You can occupy your mind with sports, going out with friends, reading, anything that you need to use your body and mind for.
I look at myself and tell me that I am worth more. I did not deserve a relationship like that. Everything happens for a reason and if that was not meant to be there is someone else out there for me who will treat me better and appreciate the little things about me. It's not worth to dwell on what could have been. There is so much to life and one break up although it hurts makes you a stronger person.
I am sorry that you feel depressed after a breakup, but sometimes it helps people to keep active and surround themselves with people that care for you and want to help you get better.
I like to keep myself busy with anything i could find to keep my mind of it, and try to relax as much as possible.
I think to deal with depression after a breakup, it's good to be surrounded by friends. You need the support they can give you. Go out, have fun, get your find off the breakup. At some point, we all went/will go through it and though you feel like it's the end of your world, it's not. Just surround yourself with positivity !
You can try to distract yourself, go out, have fun and eat a lot of chocolate. Call an old friend, meet and go out for dinner. Have fun. Being single is fun. Just think of what you want to do, and do it. It's you-time.
It is normal to be sad after a breakup. But we have to find our way to stand up again and get back our normal life. For example to do our favourite stuffs like drawing, listening to music, hanging out with friends, outing for a movie etc.
The first step is to come to full acceptance to what has happened and start working on that path to moving on. I learnt that taking time and creating space between you and your ex is really important. Surrounding yourself with people you can trust, like close friends and family, and focusing your mind on other things which you enjoy or would keep you busy is the best thing to do in this scenario. Getting over a breakup doesn't happen instantaneously, it takes time, but it's important to know that things do get better, you, yourself is always number one priority.
After a breakup there's a million things rushing through your head, mostly regret. You'd be in a huge dilemma of 'what if's' the most important thing is to remember you existed before you met your ex. Join clubs, charity devote your time to something that will make you happy and not what used to make the bot of you happy. Take more time for yourself and go out more. Your ex just lost the best thing in their life and you need to prove it.
I really try and occupy myself with other things. Maybe hanging out with a friend or family member and going places, but something to keep my mind off the ex-partner.
You have to really try to deal with the emotion in the beginning, whether it be anger, sadness, relief, etc., then try to look to the future, make long term goals.
Join a sport,talk to friends, find some type of support. It takes time to recover but eventually you'll move on after a period of time.
I try to distract myself with things I love to do. I try to stop every negative thought and focus on the good things.
Try to tell yourself that live goes on after all... I know it is hard, very hard actually, in the beginning, but there is so much more in life as just being in a relationship. Try to do soemthing you always wanted to try out, so you won't think too much about the break up. Be strong after all
Chocolate is ALWAYS a good idea but so is support from friends and family. Sometimes, a shoulder to cry on can be a dad's shoulder or a friend's shoulder.
Trying to put your mind on something else works really good. Work hard, go to some long tour or meditate. They all work really well!
Break ups are always difficult, that's obvious- but the worst part is after you part ways. So, how do you cope with it? First, you have to have the right attitude. You can't get help until you admit that you're going through a rough time and you're willing to try and get back on your feet. Secondly, you can't isolate yourself in your room and eat ice cream all day. Wake up, get dressed in something nice, go outside and grab a coffee with a friend- do something that will boost your mood. Third- do NOT, i repeat- DO NOT stalk your ex online and off. Going through their instagram and moping over how much of a good time they're having will not help you in any way. And constantly asking your friends about them won't help either. Last but not least, remind yourself that this break up happened for a reason. Nobody wants to be stuck in a relationship if both partners aren't happy. Break ups happen because someone better is coming along. So smile and focus on the positive side (:
I CRY, and CRY some more then, I get dressed up and take lots of selfies because I refuse to let him know that he has hurt me that bad to put me in depression mode!
Focus on you. It's natural to be hurt after a breakup, but the way I like to see things is that it was a learning experience. Maybe it didn't end how you had hoped it would, but it happened for a reason. Cherish the good times, and take what you learned to become an even more awesome you!
Being sad after a breakup is of course very common. Getting over a breakup can take time, it is almost like a grieving process where you have to go through different stages until you can finally get closure and maybe can better deal with the sadness a breakup entails. In the meantime, it is important that you focus on your most basic needs, as sleep and food. It is okay to be sad, acknowledge that, validate your own emotions. Take the time you need and take care of yourself, do things that make you feel good.
You don't water a dead plant or play with a broken toy; however, you can cherish the memory of watching that plant grow or having a great playtime with that toy. It can be sad. But sadness can be one way of reminding you how much a great person you can be when it comes to loving someone. Sadness could be presented as "not wanting this to happen". Other than that... You can just remind yourself why you don't need to be sad anymore.
The best way to deal is divert your mind and not think about him/her. The more you think about that person the more painful will it be for you and also with no solution so its better to indulge in other activities and keep yourself as busy as possible
Talk about it with your friends , try out new hobbies and LOOK AT YOUR MIRROR AND SMILE life's small
I've gone through severe bouts of depression myself,and I'm happy to talk about it and share my experiences if it means I help someone. After a breakup a person can be very vulnerable to negative behaviors and developing inferiority complexes.It's important to analyze our perception of ourselves and think whether it is actually a true depiction of who we are. Most often we beat ourselves up for 'not being good enough'.This creates a sort of negative loop with us suddenly becoming aware of all our faults and beating us up even more and so on.So it's important to get out of the loop by talking to someone or taking up some activity where you genuinely have fun
Try to focus on me, and allow myself to learn from what happend without criticizing or being overly negative.
Ask how much the girl/ boy loves the other one and chat accordingly. It is their story which will give a solution and moreover the reason for breakup is important.
i think that more better person and better life wil come ..always be ready for change , change always good for ourselves to improve us.
I have always found that talking through it helps immensely. I find a friend who will listen, and I just vent. I cry, I laugh, I get everything out of my system. It feels amazing to be able to say anything and not be judged. Advice is welcome and usually appreciated, but sometimes just being able to vent helps. If there's no one available to listen, I write.
i have not has a break up personally, but ii have helped others with theirs and see what has helped them. First you never want to be alone, because that's when you can feel upset or sad and do something bad. i recommend that you go out and explore new things, take time for yourself and spend time with things and people that make you happy. Support groups are very important!
Remember the good times had with my ex. Recognize my emotions and accept them. Also I like to stay physically active and social to prevent from isolation.
Distract yourself, eat lots of cake. Hang out with your friends, Hang out with your family. Do something to reward yourself and make you feel good. When feelings of separation come up, think about what's important to you in life, and do something to reinforce that.
Everyone needs time to grieve after a breakup, death in the family, etc. BUT you have to remember that you are worth it! You have to mentally and physically pull yourself together and get back on track by focusing on yourself. The right person will come your way with time! Never let any situation get in your way, but let it be another lesson learned and you'll be able to help someone else who is facing the same situation that you are.
People who are meant to be in your life,will be present and the ones who are not meant to be,fade away.Dont be so hard on yourself.Hang out with your friends,do things that you love.When you are happy with yourself,you will find someone again.This is just another page in your book.
After a breakup, things are definitely hard. But always try to stay strong and don't ever keep those unpleasant feelings to yourself. Tell them to a trusted confidante, and I assure you it will only do you good. That girl/boy is definitely out there, s/he will definitely show up in your life soon, because, you and her/him are meant to be.
Well i allways treat myself with my favorite things such as food, some new items. After that i just start communicating with other people without hesitation, so i wouldn't feel so lonely and vulnerable, people pass by and we keep on living, nothing is permanent.
Try deviating your mind from your ex...Do the activities you love...Spend quality time with yourself..be optimistic.. You will surely get over it
Try and surrounded yourself with things that make you happy, your friends, family, your favorite activities, ect.
I'm trying to speak to a lot of people, I go out with friends,.. I just do everything I can to think about something else like sport, draw, videogames or anything else. And if I want to stay at home cause I'm too depressed to go out, I speak with people on Skype. I also try to think about all the defaults of my ex and tell myself that I can have better and so it's not a big waste.
Listen to happy music to bring you mood up! Always smile and remember that life goes on and you need to be able to make yourself happy before moving on to someone else. Keep you head up!!! Always and forever.
I try and hide my feelings, I do not think about it. I just put on music and hide under the covers, depression can be hell.
You have to do whatever makes you happy or whatever makes you sad. It's honestly very different for each case
After a breakup, we are depressed to a lot extent because our mind keeps revolving around that phase and never let us think about the other environment. I know it takes times as I have experienced it myself. But pals, what is the use of moving into depression when you know that you are no longer going to be compatible with the other person fro now.. So leave the past and grow the roots of new life. Moreover you will have lot many advice to deal with this. But what you need is to make your heart strong and calculative to tackle the future.
I just find a different person to go to and depression I find ways to cope with it because those feelings is irritable.
Coping with it will be hard but try to understand and me kind to yourself. Breakups are hard
Talk about your depression and get moving, both physically and mentally. Recovery will come but it will be in small steps so be patient and kind with yourself.
im still trying to figure that out myself. its harder than i thought it would be but it has gotten easier. remember that you are the most important person in your life. dont let you past distract you in the present or future. stay positive lovelies.
Spend time with your friends and family. At the worst cases a medical treatment might be needed such as antidepressants.
It isn't easy. But you have to take it one step at a time. Focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives.
I usually try to hang out with friends as much as possible. Surrounding yourself with loved ones that care about you and that you can talk to is a key element to staying positive. Also keeping busy and focusing on your work and what makes you happy very important too.
Because it's hard to see that someone cares about you and it's even harder to feel like your letting them down
Depression after a break up , can be overcome by first changeing your usual schedule , which you had when your Boyfrend or girlfriend was around make changes in routine , start some thing new like a hobby , keeping yourself busy not allowing your self to be lonely and isolated always surround yourself with people friends dont stay indoors , go out doors meet freinds , avoid talks which will take you to his/her memories , most important stop feeling self sympathetic , you mujst feel it can happen with anyone it happened with you for what ever reason , don't keep grudge against the person just let go not try hard to get back it will only hurt you each time if the other counterpart is not interested to make it up.
Take time to refocus on yourself. Realize that the break-up ended for a reason and that the both of you can still live perfectly healthy, happy lives despite the fact that the relationship did not work out. Pick up a new hobby or dig deeper into an old one that brings you pleasure. Reconnect with friends and look for the positive in the situation. If you felt constrained in the relationship, then you now have the freedom to live life on your own terms. Make yourself happy and treat each day going forward as a new chance to grow and develop yourself into your best version of yourself.
Try to have fun or dont think about the other person for a bit. Maybe try singing or dancing or anything you like to help.
Dealing with depression following a breakup is never easy. Typically, I find that distancing myself from the person always helps. If a certain song reminds me of them- I don't listen to it. Forgetting the person ever existed usually helps me the most.
Focus on taking care of yourself. Either exorcise go out and meet new people. The most important thing is to not get hung up on the other person as though they are the only thing.
You can distract yourself with other hobbies and activities that make you happy. If you don't have any, then go out and find things that will take your mind off of it!
Breakups are tough. We've all been through them, right? I know I have. It is okay to grieve and miss, but sometimes you need to step back and look at the reason you broke up. There is something better out there for you. There is someone who won't break your heart and will love you. Sometimes the best thing we can do is surround ourselves with people we love. Go out with friends, go see family, or even just go do something you enjoy.
You know it can be hard, but just remember that you now are one less break up from finding your one and only!
I go out with my friends and try to do things I like, to enjoy my life and see always the positive side of everything.
I would say to try to distract yourself and do what ever makes you the happiest. Make yourself happy and surround yourself with positive thoughts and people and always remember that it gets better.