How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?

284 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2019 at 2:23pm
How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Scott Fantucchio, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My focus during therapy is to help people fortify their own inner strength. I use cognitive behavioral strategies to treat a variety of conditions such as anxiety disorders.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 29th, 2016 2:28pm
im sorry but you can't forgive yourself for cheating in a relationship. its a horrible thing to do and if you do it youre a horrible person
Fisnas
September 9th, 2016 6:55pm
Humans are known for making rash decisions and mistakes, and this can be seen through many instances throughout the course of human history. Be it from grasping to a sense of security at a moment of vulnerability or being seduced by an ulterior motive. What we can do as human beings is only give back as much as we've taken from trust and honesty. Whatever mistake we make, we take a proactive step in reflecting upon our mistakes and proving to society that we are no longer our past self. Lying and Cheating is no different, so first one must evaluate what constitutes as "giving back". A common first step is admitting your mistake without any cutbacks; no excuses. Afterwards, assess the proper compensation for it, in the meanwhile bettering your ideals and principles in order to avoid making this mistake in the future. Once this is done, you have logically given the world your best, and regardless of whether they are open to forgiving you, you will forgive yourself.
UnknownR
June 10th, 2016 1:34am
You just have to accept that you lied or cheated, with time you'll get over it if you accept it. And remember we're human we all make mistakes no matter how hard we try not to. πŸ’™
BrilliantSanity74
May 20th, 2016 2:25pm
It can be helpful to remember that all of the decisions that we make are geared towards trying to make ourselves happy. Sometimes we get confused and end up hurting ourselves or others, but these mistakes don't make us bad people.
MrWolf
April 30th, 2016 1:15am
Everyone is human, and each of us are limited by our own experiences and opinions. To know that cheating or lying is wrong is, in itself, commendable. To seek forgiveness from yourself for such an act is doubly so. Before you even begin to forgive, congratulate yourself on how strong you must be, and how good your character is, for even beginning to come to terms with what you feel you've done wrong. Just as you would show compassion and understanding to a child for a misgiving, so too is it important to be gentle with yourself. Understand what led to the situation, accept any errors you have made, and resolve that you will learn from them. Reflect on the experience as objectively as you can- don't beat yourself up, but don't inflate your own ego either- and focus on growing from your past.
Anonymous
October 15th, 2016 5:48am
Understand that mistakes, even big ones, happen. Humans make progress in life - sometimes you have to learn through being stupid or reckless. Many people mess up badly, and they're still able to continue living! Truly, your mistakes aren't as serious as you think, considering how many people there are and how many have ever lived. Forgiving yourself is difficult but the pain eases over time, and you know better how to be merciful to yourself.
AdrianElijah
April 10th, 2016 3:42am
Forgiving yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. If you have cheated or lied, it is huge to be able to look back on the things you did, accept that they have happened, know that they were wrong, and to move on. Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
Luft
June 16th, 2017 9:18pm
How you approach forgiveness will determine this. I, for instance, do not view forgiving as "forgive and forget" I like to think of it like with any relationship you have to lay foundations even with yourself. Now a good foundation is stable and can take a lot of punishment but still remain. So your actions can be thought of as bricks in this foundation, so you have a bad brick, forgiving yourself is placing this bad brick into your foundation and promising yourself that you'll build with better bricks around it. That way you will be able to stand on that foundation without fear of it falling apart under you. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and you being able to trust yourself to do better will not take away the fact that you made a bad choice, but it will show that you learned and became better for it. Be the craftsman you and your loved ones deserve, build better.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2016 2:59am
The best is confess EVERYTHING, then you will have no guilt but you might have shame. It can ruin your life but be honest
TheIrrationalBuddhist20
October 28th, 2016 2:31am
Ask your self why you did it. Don't justify your decision, but understand why you made that decision and promise you will do better next go round.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 10:02am
Every person makes some mistakes. Try to place yourself at the place of the person who's the victim and try to feel how they felt. According to me the way to be able to forgive yourself is to face it. Now when you're done with that, try to tell yourself that your mistakes don't define you and you can rise above them if you want to. Explain yourself to you and accept yourself.
JacoEM
April 28th, 2016 10:33pm
It may not be right, but it does not say how are we as a person. We may not have been in a good moment or situation. And although proper apologies need to be made, a mistake does not make us unworthy of love and forgiveness.
TheFallenOne14s
May 1st, 2016 12:37pm
by being honest with myself to realize what was the real reason by what i did, then promise myself not to repeat my mistake for any reason, cheating or lying only means i m afraid that my action or my words is not accepted and if anyone wouldn't accept me for who am i shouldn't lie or cheat to keep him/her happy, therefore i will forgive my action as it was silly one time thing and won't be repeated for anyone
Rebelyell90
November 3rd, 2016 9:49am
It can be hard to forgive yourself for lying or cheating, because you know you abused the power and love of someone you care about. But the best way to forgive yourself is to acknowledge you did wrong.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2016 6:37pm
It's important to remind yourself that it's something that has happened in the past. The only thing you can do now is move forward, and change the ways you do things that you think would stop you from doing so again. The past is the past, and now you only have the present and the future. Practising mindfulness is a skill that could be used to overcome this problem.
Alia3475
August 12th, 2017 12:18pm
I used to be something of a serial liar when I was young. Now I look back and see it was fear that drove it. I was scared of failing, being judged, not fitting in. The burden of lying weighed on me, though, and I committed to live in truth as much as possible. It took time, and it wasn't always easy, but in the end it was the only way I could forgive myself: to make amends to myself and others by living in the world with honor. Learning from what you have done, and making a change at the spirit level, will ultimately lead to self-forgiveness.
WolvenEars90
November 16th, 2017 9:40pm
If you are a Christian (like myself), seek God and His presence. He can take away every negative thought, feeling, and past decision and make your life out to be good. Sin is flesh and we are the flesh. Jesus took our sins to the cross for us. If you're not a Christian, you need to dig deep down into yourself: Keep silent and just listen and image what all past wrongs you have committed. Breathe in, and just let it all go. You have one life to live. You may feel guilt, sadness, and more but you must keep your chin held high because life doesn't stop for anyone.
FlowingWater21
March 27th, 2016 5:29pm
One can forgive himself for lying or cheating by realizing the feelings and thoughts that drove him to make his decision, and attempting to learn what he can do better next time.
Anonymous
April 6th, 2016 10:51am
Keep thinking POSITIVE, Don't blame yourself for everything. Sometimes, we blame ourselves for stuff which we didn't do.
lavieestbelle95
April 15th, 2016 12:07am
Firstly, remind yourself that nobody's perfect. Promise to yourself that you won't do the same mistake and stick with that. What's past is past and you are better than who you were yesterday :)
sweetTime36
May 31st, 2018 8:39am
First of all, make the judgement in your head. Was there a proper justification for your doing or not. If yes then learn to forgive and pray to God as he knows your intentions. And if no then again follow the same steps but just with more guilt. Come to terms with it. Accept your mistake ask for those forgiveness whom you hurt and learn to love yourself even after you do wrong. Humans make mistakes dont they?
hopefulFriend60
April 1st, 2016 4:08pm
Only you can free yourself of your guilt. The sooner you forgive yourself, the more time you'll have to live a happy life. There's no point in beating yourself up any further. Remember how unhappy this decision made you so that it won't happen again and move on to happier things to come for you.
BenevolentWords
May 13th, 2017 7:09am
Realize that life is much too short and much too beautiful to hate yourself or blame yourself for mistakes. We all make mistakes, we all do ugly things sometimes. It's what you learn from the bad things you've done and how you move forward that matter. You can't move forward if you dwell on the fact that you cheated and lied. Accept it as part of your past, a mistake you made. Promise yourself you will not do it again and work towards forgiving yourself.
HighwayOfHope
June 16th, 2017 8:58pm
Being unable to forgive yourself can cause you to be filled with regret, and guilt. Remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Try to think about what was it that specifically bothers you the most about cheating or lying. Was it the after effect, or how it affected others/the situation? Or is it about how it made or currently makes you feel? Asking yourself these questions can help you forgive yourself because then you can understand the reasoning behind doing these things. It can be really hard to forgive yourself if you are confused and aren't sure why you did these things in the first place. Remember you can always look into other available resources for help. Good luck!
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2016 8:25am
By apologizing that person you cheated or lied with and if you dont have enough courage than ask forgivess from God and try to be nice and good with that person and try making that person happy and i am sure that by seeing that person happy you'll forgive yourself
confidentForest19
May 17th, 2018 3:23pm
Changing your mindset, from a self center perspective to a more loving and caring one , repentance is change and to transform wrongdoing in good and positive actions
Teenagehelp
July 29th, 2018 10:16am
Everyday is a new day for change. You can’t change ypur past but you can live a new life today. Not forgiving yourself can cause you a depression or it just takes all of the self-love you have. Stop thinking about this, try to say to yourself : β€œI forgive myself. I am letting my past go and starting a whole new topic of my life book today. β€œ Also, you have to understand that stop lying is bot a simple way. But you can always treat yourself with some cookies, etc. , when you are staying true and honest with others. Think of the situations which make you lie and try to erase them from your life or just stay honest. Because honesty makes you a better person) Analysing is a good way to gain good habits. Think why are you cheating and is it worth your time and health
strawberryLake18
March 31st, 2016 6:25pm
The fact that you want forgiveness means you feel guilty and that for starters is good thing because come on what you've done was wrong and this means you're admitting it . Then ask the forgiveness of the person you've hurt it doesn't matter if they accept it or not the most important thing is that you will feel better after that .fimally the most important thing is to not do that again 😊
Sunshinesue
April 3rd, 2016 4:28pm
Mistakes happen and the first step to forgiveness is acceptance and thereafter reformed action. Be a better person each day, appreciate the little things and work around issues..
SoftTree88
May 15th, 2016 4:35am
The key is to define what kind of person you would like to be, and work toward that goal. If you only focus on what you've done wrong, it's unlikely that you'll be able to move past your mistakes and start acting like your ideal self. The reality is that everyone makes mistakes at some point, but every action is in the past, and you can't change the past, so the only thing you can do is focus on the future and make it the best it can be.