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How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?

305 Answers
Last Updated: 03/29/2020 at 1:25am
How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice

Counselor

I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
JDM108
April 24th, 2016 4:07pm
It's important to be sincere, but know that at every moment you were basically doing the best you can. Channel that guilty energy into resolving not to do it again in the future
flybird22
April 30th, 2016 1:37pm
you can forgive yourself by improving the mistake and not repeat the same thing again :) keep smiling .
kaykayfryee
May 4th, 2016 1:52pm
Come out and tell the person you cheated on or the person you lied to. It might make you feel better knowing that the know too, and tell them that you regret doing it. And you wished that you never did it
snugglyHand12
May 11th, 2016 2:41pm
Consider how you would feel if someone cheated and lied to you and what you would do to help them once they have been forgiven. No one is perfect and we all need help even with things that may be friended upon. He fact you want help with this shows you are not inherently a bad person.
Anonymous
May 15th, 2016 11:22am
We all make mistakes, it's how we recover from them that shows how strong we really are. No one is perfect, we're allowed to mess up. Learning from your mistakes is the best way to gain better experience and knowledge.
LovelyDreamer99
May 18th, 2016 12:58pm
Think about the positives sides of your life. You can't dwell on past experiences you can only move forward
Anonymous
May 18th, 2016 1:41pm
Talking to the person that you have lied to helps. It won't make the things same again, but well, it will help you find inner peace. It will let you know that the other person knows the truth now.
ArcticRapids
May 18th, 2016 10:14pm
Everyone makes mistakes, no matter how old or rich you are. Forgiving yourself means accepting your flaws.
Vixen1Grai
May 20th, 2016 12:12pm
Forgiveness is difficult, all you can do is to Beyer yourself and make a concise effort not to lie or cheat.
winsomefish
May 20th, 2016 12:59pm
Acknowledge the mistake, acknowledge the consequences, and promise yourself you'll never do it again. It sounds trite, but if you really understand the pain you've caused other people, and allow yourself to feel for them, then your mistake has done its purpose and you can hope to learn from it. I think when we don't forgive ourselves is when we get caught in circles doing awful things because we don't think we're any better. Just pull yourself and acknowledge you're better than the mistake you made.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 4:41pm
You need to earn self respect. You need to accept that you can't change the past, that you have to focus on the present and future. You need to tell people you hurt that you are sorry. It all starts with self respect!
Anonymous
May 21st, 2016 1:32pm
I guess it is just two things , firstly, I have to know that I am human , it happens . We are not angels at any level, we do bad things so , we should accept ourselves and do not go far in blaming. Secondly, I should work on self soooo hard to stop that damn thing , I should obligate myself to stop being a liar , if i really wanna fix it in the future. I should think about people who trust me , they never deserve to be cheated on . That's it I guess .
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2016 2:50pm
You have to understand why you did those things and learn to move on. time is the best healer for things like this
helpfulunicat
May 25th, 2016 4:10pm
You forgive yourself by letting go and realizing everyone makes mistakes- youre a human, and you CAN change.
dreamwild7398
May 27th, 2016 7:06pm
You gotta believe if ya were a bad person, ya wouldnt feel such sorry or even asked that question.. ya gotta know that we are humans and we make and thats okay! The only bad thing is to do the same mistake again.. try to forgive yourself so yad be forgiven.. just never do it again
Ventus1234
May 30th, 2016 7:04am
i will examine me as a different person, i will always forgive to others mistakes if they oppologise, so i will apologize to myself, im so kind to others, so i should be kind to myself too, i use this thought to forgive myself
DrJayARCHER
June 2nd, 2016 3:51am
everyone makes mistake in their life ..it is normal for us as human beings but the real thing to do is to accept that you made such a mistake and correct it as if you will never repeat it in the future ever again!
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 10:01am
Realize you made a mistake and work towards being more honest in the future. Understand that mistakes are made in life and don't hold it against yourself
BestMotivationer
June 2nd, 2016 11:44pm
Personally, once I have closure and the person I cheated on forgives me and I understand that cheating isnt good, youll forgive yourself. Dont hate yourself. Live and learn from your mistakes.
ClusterBBeauty
June 3rd, 2016 4:03pm
The first step is to take responsibility. Admit to your mistake and make sure you apologize to whoever you hurt. But don't punish yourself endlessly, if you do you can't learn from that mistake. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Allow yourself to move on and love yourself with every flaw.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2016 9:06am
You have understand and put it into perspective that sometime in everyone's life they are going to screw up and you can't blame yourself forever and have to move on.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2016 4:52am
First you have to accept it cannot be changed and you have to understand that everyone makes mistakes.
Victoriaalexandraa
June 10th, 2016 10:48pm
At the end of the day everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. you are going to mess up a million times but that does not mean you are no longer entitled to happiness and a shot at doing things right. Let it go and leave it in the past :)
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 10:00am
If you lied, you must tell the truth. I think that the truth scares most people and I believe if you've lied. You should tell the truth to correct your mistake. You do not want that burden on your head. I find the truth freeing and liberating.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2016 6:07am
It is important that you forgive yourself. In order to forgive yourself you've got to feed yourself positive thoughts. You can't allow yourself to beat yourself up. You are your own worst enemy. Blocking out those negative thoughts can prevent you from feeling further guilt.
frecklesareconstellations
June 12th, 2016 10:32pm
You accept that you did it. you can't change it. But what you can do is recognize that it was a mistake, and try to grow from it. Try to become a better person from it.
simplyjules
June 15th, 2016 11:58am
It is one of the hardest things to do is to forgive yourself. When you have cheated or lied or both, it is important to accept you are not perfect, and take it as a learning experience. You are not doing yourself or anyone else any good for carrying the guilt.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2016 10:33pm
identify why you chose to cheat or lie to your partner and work on the reasons behind it. Is the relationship worth saving or was the act a cry for help? Communication is key.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2016 6:38am
1. If you’ve been rationalizing your actions, take responsibility. “Okay, I did (or said) it.” 2. Write a story about what happened, including how you felt about yourself and others involved before, during, and after. 3. Analyze what were your needs at that time, and were they being met. If not, why not? 4. What were your motives? What or who was the catalyst for your behavior? 5. Does the catalyst remind you of something from your past? Write a story about it, and include dialogue and your feelings. 6. How were your feelings and mistakes handled growing up? Were they forgiven, judged, or punished? Who was hard on you? Were you made to feel ashamed?
LuckyShamrock
June 23rd, 2016 9:19pm
We all occasionally lie or cheat, it's human nature. Whenever I lie or cheat I just have to remind myself: "Will this person be mad at me forever?" Probably not. If the other person or persons don't know I lie or cheated then I will just take a nice deep breath, cool down, and remind myself that it's already in the past. I shouldn't hold on to things that don't need to be held on to.