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How to tell someone you're depressed without saying it?

254 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2023 at 7:28pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Vivian4
May 6th, 2018 5:58am
You can write about depression from your perspective how it is to live with it and let them read it... if they are interested to understand more they will find the way how to talk you about it more.
NordligSno
January 27th, 2018 3:34am
Saying it straight out is always the best thing to make sure they are on the same level with you. But you can tell them what's going on. What are you thinking about? Is something bothering you? Do you need to talk to a professional? And so forth. Be honest. (:
RareLove
March 3rd, 2016 6:26pm
You could tell them you are no longer interested in the things that used to excite you. You don't feel the slightest bit of happiness upon waking, and you have miserable sleeps at night. You could tell them you are weepy at times for no apparent reason and you may even have physical aches and pains in your body with no explanation.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2016 12:08pm
If you ended up with miserable life because you listened to your priest, or your parents, or you followed what someone on tv told said, then you deserve it baby, crybaby cry.. no heal no more, no lies...
shvrry
February 18th, 2016 7:16am
The look on your face can usually express how you feel. You don't always have to say you're depressed to show it. Also the way you act can show it.
CallMeLayan
March 31st, 2017 6:20pm
Ask them if they have experienced sadness before and tell them what made you sad. You can tell them the story if you want or ask them what they think about depression. Based on what they think you can tell them that you are depressed if you feel like it. You can ask them for help too because you feel like you are overwhelmed for example. Most people have experienced depression, so if you are talking to an adult don't be afraid of saying it.
Skylarstorm
May 9th, 2018 5:56pm
Small actions or words can lead to them understanding. Eventually you'll have to outright tell them, but small conversations about feelings and emotions can help prepare them for that conversation.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2016 1:30am
If you can't say that you're depressed, then describe how you feel, it'll have the same effect. You could also try writing a letter to that person talking about it, if you physically can't say it
Anonymous
March 4th, 2016 12:02am
You don't. Or at least from my experience, it's just not a very good way and people won't get it because that's too roundabout. Trying to beat around the bush and being indirect might feel like a good idea, maybe because it feels so obvious to you you think others should be able to pick up on it, you're uncomfortable talking about having depression, you feel distrustful of others in regards to your depression and worried they won't understand so you don't want to risk it or etc. But regardless of your reasoning, if you want to tell someone you have depression, with hopes that they'll be understanding, supportive, etc. I've found it's best to be bluntly straightforward--with someone who you trust. If you can't do that or think it's not a good idea, then maybe it's better to determine if you can trust the person you want to tell, by getting their views on mental health issues or the like, by how close you are to that person, things like that. But in the end, I don't believe there is any way to tell someone about having depression, if they don't know already, without directly saying it. From my experience that process is far too muddled and only confusing for both sides involved, without any understanding being reached.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2017 9:45pm
Depends what you mean by not saying it. If you just don't want to say the exact words just saying that you are struggling and think you need some help can be enough especially if the person knows you well. They may have noticed changes in your behaviour a d mood already. . Just describing how you feel will alert most people, Not being able to sleep, finding it difficult to get up the morning, lack of appetite, feeling worthless, I suffered from post natal depression I didn't know that was what it was. I called a help line and said I was confused and explained my symptoms and they told me it sounded like depression which I hadn't really considered.
AnnaTope
September 8th, 2018 10:53pm
this is a great question and i command the person that posts it out there. Most of the times people do not want to share this type of subject with anyone thinking people might "run for the hills" once is shared but most of the times that is not the case. One of the ways i think you can indirectly bring it up is by contrasting for example; remember i used to enjoy i.e. going out, laughing, working out, etc., well I have noticed for a while that i don't enjoy this things anymore. Have you noticed that too? I think I have been feeling like this since i.e. i moved to this city, left for college, changed my job, etc. Its really difficult because I feel i.e. not motivated, hopeless, disconnected, etc. There in all this context you are pretty much presenting the way you are feeling without labeling it. However, as a disclaimer let me add the most important thing here is how you feel.. and to validate your own feelings if necessary look for professional assistance or support groups.
Anonymous
September 6th, 2018 2:33am
I list some of my symptoms. For example, if I've lost interest in things I normally like I'll talk about how I miss doing such and such but can't seem to find the motivation or interest. If it's a one-time thing my family and friends won't probe much, but if it becomes a trend they know that something more is going on and it is more likely that they will ask about my overall health emotionally and physically. I think the word "depressed" is sometimes used carelessly in media. To me, not being able to take a shower is different than feeling sad about a situation. Of course, it's important to have boundaries and only engage in these probing conversations with safe people.
Mahony1989
August 8th, 2018 2:46am
Simply dont use the word depressed, or despression and use other words to express how you feel and if they are somewhat smart they will be able to indentify.
gentlePeace82
June 14th, 2018 12:27am
I am depressed can be a hard thing to say to someone else. Explaining your symptoms can be helpful in helping another person understand what you are experiencing. Saying " I am tired, tired in my body and in my mind." I feel like I just need a break, time away from everything."
Milaaaaa00
June 1st, 2018 10:09am
You should try your best to have a conversation with someone about this. You should prepare for the conversation and accept that you are ready and willing to talk about it. You should make sure that you are going to tell someone that you trust. If your telling a friend Can your friend be insensitive to you at times? Or is she going on with big troubles currently, if yes it would be best to either try and find someone else you can trust or maybe just tell her you're going through some major issues but that you’re working on them. Make sure to think about what information you want to give your friend. How much are you going to share, and how your friend might react. Write down what you want to say and try your best to practice your conversation. To tell your friend you should plan a casual activity with your friend, try your best to not do it around multiple people and that you two are alone. Ease into talking about your depression whenever it feels right and communicate to your friend whether the information is confidential. (private). Say what you have practiced and make sure to make your friend feel comfortable. If your friend seems uneasy, break the tension by thanking her for being there and listening. Try and keep your friend engaged and if you feel 100% comfortable try and pick out the 'next step'. When you feel that it's time to move on from the conversation try your best to say something like. "We should go home." etc..
windfox3
January 7th, 2018 7:05am
Here's some quick phrases that can help others understand that you are struggling with some internal battles: I'm not feeling like myself lately. I'm having a hard time seeing things clearly. Sometimes I worry my emotions are getting the better of me. My mind is a little fuzzy and I don't know what's bothering me. I'm not sad, but I am having a hard time finding motivation. I feel like I'm missing something, but I can't put my finger on it.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2017 5:00am
It's not easy and I've even spent approximately the last 10 years of my life wondering the same thing. The only thing that has kept me alive is to go against the humanistic grain and take note of what tiny, positive attributes that actually do exist in the world and when that's not enough, I think about the people I would hurt if I were to disappear from being depressed. I know it sounds cliche but when your holding on by threads and caught in a mental landslide, it can be hard to make proactive decisions when the world seems to be against you. I feel like when I do finally say something to someone, it will just get blurred out when I've past the point where none of the usual methods of coping work for me anymore. The truth and reality is that no one will understand you, that hasn't dealt with depression. It's just the way the world is, I can only suggest making a friend that can understand your troubles and heart aches, even though you may find yourself in the predicament of disliking everybody and everything like I do, you have to give yourself hope, even a false hope that you know to be false. I often wonder if my life would be better off just waking up and magically having the mindset of the majority of the population that are ignorant to most things that depress you. Such as the way the world works or how stupid people are and the order that they prioritize their lives and what they make important. I don't know how to say it but just hang in there and maybe make a friend, with as little detail as possible, that's the best I have to offer because the answer will be different for every one of us out there that's like this. It's a hard life but just find your light. Find what illuminates you and if that light happens to be telling your loved ones what you deal with then the path to finding the proper method of doing so belongs to YOU. Good luck and love from me.
raghib1412
July 14th, 2017 9:58am
Try to convey that you are having trouble performing everyday tasks that are normally very easy for you. Although, its just better to try and put your trust in someone and say your mind.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2016 7:48am
The best way to say anything is to say it outright. Truth, Honesty, Love and Beauty will save the world. Go to your parents, friends, therapist, counselor, doctor, or other trusted professional and say "I'm depressed and I think I may need some help." It's okay. *hug*
BunnyBop
August 30th, 2016 3:43pm
Instead of straight up saying "I'm depressed" try talking about how you are feeling, if you are feeling in a constant low mood or not. Try listing the symptoms you're feeljng
Anonymous
March 5th, 2016 8:24pm
You get that feeling when you lose your self confidence and when you feel the efforts you put to succeed is the limit. Instead work harder to achieve your goals with a positive attitude. Take up new and tough challenges. In case you come out successful, it would be a moment to cherish and will boost your confidence for a life time!
kindSong20
February 19th, 2016 5:25pm
how about telling her about some friend that she was depressed and telling her symptoms and that how it helped when she started treatment , this will make him think that do i have those symptoms of depression
Anonymous
October 5th, 2016 3:26pm
I think it is always best to be honest and outright so that the person you are telling has the best chance of fully understanding and supporting you
Jordanlea923
July 18th, 2019 3:07pm
Start by telling someone about the feelings you are experiencing.. ring a helpline or speak to your doctor in confidence about your feelings. Feeling depressed and low is not a nice experience and wont just go away the more support the better and the more you open up about your feelings to your loved ones will also help them have a better understanding of what is going on and how you are feeling. Tell your loved one you feel low. Upset. Angry. Sad. Confused. Scared. What ever feeling you are experiencing try to tell someone who can help and support you.
MissLisa
July 19th, 2019 4:07pm
Perhaps you would find it easier to write it down. You could write a letter to someone explaining how you are feeling. Maybe include in that letter that you are struggling to say it out loud. The main thing is that you tell someone whether that be verbally or written. You could also think about sending an email or a text message. Whatever you feel most comfortable with. This can also be a good tool to use when going to seek help from a medical professional. That was if you aren't able to actually verbally say you're depressed, you can show them what you have written down .
MidnightRaven999
August 9th, 2018 5:56pm
You can express the feelings you've been having toward yourself, this might express to the other person that you have depression without explicitly stating it.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2018 6:07pm
describe how you feel, although it’s not a easy thing to do it’ll definitely help out in the long run.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 1:54pm
Tell them of some difficulties you are experiencing which you know are attributed to depression such as difficulty getting up in the morning, maintaining self care and socialising.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 4:51pm
If you don't want to say you're depressed, you could say something like "I haven't been feeling myself lately," or "I'm feeling down and need some help getting back to feeling myself again."
Anonymous
November 10th, 2017 7:16am
Tell them you feel lonely and you feel that you need help. Tell them you aren't having as much fun with life. You need someone to talk to.