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Why do I hate myself so much?

253 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2020 at 6:15am
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
cal1860
April 3rd, 2016 3:22pm
Sometimes we compare ourselves to what the ideal is - promoted in media, fashion, peer pressure and our own expectations. The bar is often too high to be possible and a sense of failure can lead to feelings of self-hatred. Maturing or self-acceptance, is about learning to accept yourself and your shortcomings, as well as celebrating the individual you are. Also about being realistic as to what is achievable.
lovingWords70
May 25th, 2016 4:58pm
Sometimes, when we feel down, we look into ourselves and see the worst in us. At times, even the simplest negative things that we do are magnified because when we are fed with constant bad feedback about ourselves, we tend to believe these. It should never be the case. Believe that you are beautiful, unique and you deserve the best.
Serenequeen713
August 31st, 2017 2:15pm
I hated myself because I was not what society accepted, I allowed the world to convince me that my upbringing meant I would amount to nothing and losing my father in my early teens destined my life for failure. I hated my self for not being flawless and the most perfect looking female. I hated myself for choices I made, for having a mental illness, for becoming a drug addict and the harm I causes everyone. I hated my reflection in the mirror and the fact I woke up breathing when people much better off did not. I hated myself because I never knew my self. Today I can say that all has changed by just one person opening their ears and heart to me and making me realize perfect isn't real, flaws are beautiful, my past doesn't define me, and a beautiful soul is what matters. I don't need drugs or alcohol to numb myself or have to sell my soul for them, found recovery and have been clean for 2+ years now and my mental health is a part of my life, but does not define me.
Mamabear83
May 5th, 2016 6:36pm
Without knowing much about the situation, I can generally assume it has to do with destructive thought patterns. A lot of times we end up getting an idea in our heads, and then become unable to root it out again. So it stays there like a parasite, and feeds on everything that's supposed to make us happy in our lives. A good way to help boot out that unwanted thought pattern from the cozy home of your head, by Thought Restructuring. It's a term that means we work to Recognize, Rationalize, and Replace unhelpful and harmful thoughts. For example, you already recognize that you're feeling hate toward yourself. So the next step would be rationalize this. What evidence do you have for this thought? As you think of why you're hating yourself, rationalize those thoughts as well. And then try to Replace them with thoughts that are more rooted in reality.
Anonymous
May 14th, 2016 11:47pm
The reason you may hate yourself is because you haven't learned how to love yourself, Please take a moment to look in the mirror, Tell yourself how beautiful you are as a person inside and out, Tell yourself that your strong and that you can get through anything, and last but not least tell yourself why you are so amazing and awesome. Everybody has their special talents such as dancing, singing, your a good friend, your nice, your attractive or even just that your a strong individual , Anything about yourself that you know is true in your heart and know that you are special. You have to love yourself truly.
kristenisaninjaturtle
July 29th, 2016 2:54am
Because people have led you to believe so. Once so many people say mean things, it's hard to think otherwise. Your amazing, remember that♡
Anonymous
June 9th, 2017 9:55am
I hate myself because I see myself as less than others. I feel my condition restricts me from being as strong or as smart as others. The way some people interact with me and the decisions they make reinforce those negative feelings. I feel that I cannot compete with colleagues who are healthy. I feel as though my resilience is on the verge of collapsing. I hate myself because I struggle to motivate myself to do the things I need to do. I hate myself because I feel I do not belong.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2016 5:02pm
Many dislike themselves because they compare themselves to other individuals, have unrealistic thoughts about themselves, and to accept themselves for who they are. Accepting yourself is definitely necessary. While you may be different from others, there should be no shame.
Anonymous
May 15th, 2016 11:28am
We expect too much of ourselves. We get frustrated and angry when things don't go the way we want and in the end, we take all of the blame, even if none of it is our fault. It's easier said than done, but you must learn to love yourself. It takes time, it takes effort, but most of all, it takes patience. Don't be afraid to stumble along the way. There will always be bumps in the road, we just have to drive over them and keep on going.
Sweetembrace99
May 15th, 2016 5:56pm
Maybe it's because I was never appreciated... Maybe it's beause I've never seen the good in me .. Just the flaws .. Whenever I see myself in the mirror I don't like myself at all ... But maybe it's ok .. It's ok .. Cause I'm not the only one who has been feeling this .. Cause .. Maybe someday I'll see who I truly am ... Cause once I become capable of finding beauty in everything .. I'll be ok .. And I'll know that my soul is made up of stardust .. And that if I've made even one person happy .. I'm not what I think I'm .. I'm beautiful and lovely .. And I hope that everyone gets a chance to start loving themself including me ❤️
GentleWolfPup
May 1st, 2016 6:47pm
Because you are blinded by your anger. You are sick of feeling the way you do, and don't understand why you can't just be happy like the others. But really, you are beautiful.
GivingstonTreegull
August 16th, 2017 4:51am
Hate is a strong word. Although criticism of ourselves is a very normal feeling. Sometimes we can be overcome with influences from the outside world. Standards that we feel we could never live up to. Before you decide you hate yourself be sure to give yourself credit for all of your amazing qualities! So don't ever forget that no one is perfect. Societies standards are impossible and ridiculous. And this too shall pass! You won't feel this way forever. Everyone grows and changes, Just try to take it easy yourself.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 1:46pm
I hate myself because I feel so unkind. I hate myself for my own human feelings. All I've ever wanted is to give and love but life makes it so hard. And I hate myself for not being stronger.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2018 3:52pm
Because you see the flaws no one else sees. Maybe you wish to be someone you aren't, in which this wish just drifts you away from nice traits and amazing things you already are and have. It's difficult to say, but it's important to notice small, kind things you do every week. For instance, tie laces for a friend, buy something for your sibling, etc. Anything kind. Also, listen to compliments you get. You don't have to feel flattered or happy, but at least remember that someone took their time to compliment you. So, the compliment can't be fake! Someone calls you something nice, yay! I hope it gets better for you
NotaThief
April 6th, 2016 3:34pm
You may think this because you set high standards for yourself and may not reach them. This will cause yourself to feel a little down, which eventually might cause you to hate yourself for not being "Smart enough" or other reasons.
Anonymous
April 30th, 2016 10:32pm
I used to think anything bad that ever happened to me was because of myself. It made me hate myself.
Lovelylistener8
December 16th, 2016 5:55pm
You are in pain and it's okay. Find anything that makes you happy. You can make yourself in a person that you love. Take small steps to your self love.
CrimsonAsh
October 27th, 2017 9:51pm
Sometimes we hate ourselves because we can find no better outlet for these emotions that hurt us. Others make us feel bad about ourselves, and we think it is our fault when it's actually just other people being horrible. You hate yourself and blame yourself because you can think to do nothing else, but in reality you need to realize you are the better person. HANDSOME, BEAUTIFUL, BE WHO YOU ARE. Never hate yourself, and if it takes forever to love yourself, I'll be here to love you.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 1:54pm
Your brain is laying self hatred and contant negative feelings on yourself. You can't think positively of yourself when your brain is telling you otherwise.
PrincesSugarPlum
December 9th, 2017 7:49pm
I've hated myself for years and I really don't know how to make things better when life hasn't gotten any better. I have friends that only talk to me at school they don't even acknowledge to ask me to hangout on the weekends so I'm always home. Depressed. I stay in bed all day playing on my phone trying to distract myself from negative thoughts. I never really thought to tell anyone how I really feel because if I do then it'll only worry them. My mom has depression and is sad a lot. My family is broken and we're all just a big ball of sadness. I haven't been happy since this world has made me feel insecure. I feel like a lot of bad stuff happens to me and I really don't know how to make myself happy anymore. I give up
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 2:36am
This can be due to multiple different factors. For me, It was due to me feeling like I was doing nothing to improve my weight. However, everyone has their own shortcomings, but you should always try to love yourself.
Yeol61
May 9th, 2018 5:28pm
Bcuz you only see your bad qualities and don't look at your good qualities and no one is completely u just look from one angle
sunnyParadise92
May 31st, 2018 9:21am
I hate myself a lot less than I used to. I hate myself because I’m not better. I could do so much and yet my fear, past regrets, and overall outlook on life keep me from doing what I’m able. I hate myself because I don’t feel strong enough to handle life’s punches and that even thinking about tomorrow brings me nothing but an emptiness I haven’t found the bottom to.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 1:21pm
People feel like they hate themselves due to various reasons and that reason is different from person to person. Example, I might hate myself for incompetency when I am not passing an exam. I might hate myself when others way I am not helpful. But in reality nobody hates anybody. It is just a state of mind due to anxiety or depression reasons. It is easy to get over that feeling by thinking why it happened, how to solve that problem, or if the problem cannot be solved then how you can compensate it, and finally how to make sure this will not happen again. Every person’s first love is him or herself. It is just the passiveness which leads to the thinking “I hate myself”.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 8:01pm
i judge myself and i don't forgive myself sometimes, so i should be more understanding that people make mistakes...
Anonymous
April 29th, 2016 8:35pm
low self esteem often comes with depression and i know that it is har to deal with from personal experience
TheFallenOne14s
May 1st, 2016 12:14pm
i learned to accept myself and embrace my flaws & try my best to improve my knowledge so i become a better person therefore i stopped hating myself regardless of the weak times that everyone go though
Anonymous
May 7th, 2016 3:36pm
I hate myself because i allow my fears to conquer me when i know life could be so much better if i would just take a chance and get out there.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 4:44pm
People tell you all these bad things about you, that you start to believe them. You have no self respect. No self-confidence. Or anything in that line. You are the only one who can change you, so change what you hate about yourself, if you can't accept it, don't try to change what already is.
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 10:14pm
Because you just see the bad things in you. Try to see the good things and keep smiling once a day!