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Why do I hate myself so much?

262 Answers
Last Updated: 03/31/2021 at 11:30pm
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
compassionateYard7526
September 28th, 2017 12:06am
Personally, I hate myself because I set these goals and I work toward them but, when I don't get them, I think I am a failure and it destroys me. Yet I can't give up even when I want to more than anything and then if I succeed I want more. I'm not proud of myself because I can always be more. I never take time to congratulate myself because in my mindset I'm not good enough yet. I will never be good enough for myself.
ThornyBee
November 13th, 2017 7:58pm
I hate myself cause of a collection of self failures throughout my life. Work I g and trying your hardest for good out come but still epic failure. It's the situations and events of the past that has conditioned me and others to hate themselves. It's the pattern we're used to. It hurts, a lot, and that pain makes it impossible to have a positive out look even if it's possible. We hate ourselves cause it's what we are trained to do...
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 11:21am
I hate myself so much because i am not able to prove myself at times, though i have the capability. And it makes me so pissed at myself.
hrourkey18
December 13th, 2017 1:04am
Maybe you don't like the thoughts your having, or the way you handle situations. But you're just human, don't beat yourself up about it. Nobody's perfect and i'm sure you're great.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 3:26am
Because sometimes it's hard to see what is so great about yourself. Sometimes people or even your own mind makes you think so poorly of yourself, it's hard to change that mindset.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2018 12:05pm
It is said sometimes you are your worse enemy. This is because you are your hardest critic. You continue to judge yourself until you become unforgiving. Hating yourself could have started because of something that happened or because something someone may have said. I have found that a part of overcoming this is through challenging your inner critic by responding to your own criticism with compassion.
Youleque
January 14th, 2018 8:12pm
Is it because you choose to see the things about you which make you unhappy instead of seeing what make you happy? Everytime you think about a bad thing about yourself, switch your thought to something positive about yourself. Through time, you will do this without even thinking about the negatives before.
NordligSno
January 27th, 2018 3:36am
Everybody has some self hatred. Seeing themselves in a negative and pessimistic light. That's just the part of our human nature. But you can make sure that you find the source and work on it from there. a) Could it be weight management? b) Is it something coming back to haunt you from the past? c) Are your friends complimenting & motivating you or are they dragging you down? d) Is your family treating you well? And so forth. You should also consider seeing a therapist about it to get to the root of the problem and ways to cope with it. :) Good luck.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 8:38am
There is a self-directed anger inside of you that needs to be resolved. There is no need to be too hard on yourself, as you slowly start to unravel this "knot" you will start to love yourself more!
youarespectacular
February 1st, 2018 8:32pm
it's difficult sometimes to let go of our insecurities. everyone has them. we are imperfect human beings. however, you are amazing. u deserve all the love in the world and i hope one day you will be able to give the love you need to yourself
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 7:35pm
There could be many reasons to help yourself. Personally i've always hated myself for my actions, weight, grades and so on. You've got to learn to love yourself and make sure your worth everything because you are. Remember to #selfcare for yourself. We are all special in our own way and all beautiful. Do things you enjoy and treat yourself for the positive things you do also!
Anonymous
February 24th, 2018 2:10am
I think I hate myself because I know where I want to be but I am the only one who is stopping me ...
sweetmikayla
April 6th, 2018 3:03pm
You feel you are not following the standards imposed by society, so you hate yourself because you feel wrong. Actually, everyone is different and special in their own way, and there's no reason for you to hate yourself.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2018 9:38pm
Do you hate yourself or hate what you do/where you are? Have you confronted this personal issue? You could write your thoughts and feelings on the way you're feeling and see if you can make sense of the question you ask.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 2:17am
In my experience it is very easy to assume that you hate all of yourself when in actual fact you usually only hate certain aspects of your life. These aspects can usually be changed and it is up to you to change the things that you do hate. Surround yourself with positivity and work towards a happier you.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 11:18pm
Maybe it's because others don't appreciate you enough. Love from others can make us feel loved and like ourselves more.
HeyMaxley
July 21st, 2018 8:05am
This is easy... when I look in the mirror or the people around me, I can only see the imperfections. I'm chubby with a baby face that makes me look like a permanent 12 year old all the time. I've got a stomach. Acne. Oily nose. no boyfriend. Inability to feel anything. Commitment issues to things like work, projects, or routine (like working out). Disappointment to everyone around me. Especially to myself. Everything sucks around me because I suck. And if I can't control anything around me, I feel helpless. But at least I can choose to hate myself.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 8:06pm
We often hear to treat others how we want to be treated and I try to remember this when it comes to how I view and treat myself. We often would love others far better than how we love ourselves. Many people fall into this struggle. It is okay to love who you are though. There is only one of you in the world and the world needs you. Love who you are. Accept who you are, accepting your story as a whole! Continue the positive things about you and work on your area of struggles. No matter what has happened in life, you are still worthy of love, belonging, and acceptance! You have a life ahead of you so practice loving yourself, practicing showing yourself the love you would show others. Wake up in the morning saying affirmations (I am...) and go to bed thinking about the positives from your day.
Lars12
October 31st, 2018 5:25pm
It's hard to explain why we are so hard on ourselves. Maybe it's because we're automatically more critical of ourselves than we are of others. Maybe we are so used to seeing the bad that we forget to look for the good. Maybe it's because we are blind to our true beauty I think of myself like a cake. Sure, some icky stuff goes into making a cake, like baking soda and eggs and stuff like that, but the cake wouldn't be complete without them. The same is true for my flaws. Sure, my teeth are crooked, and I get too emotional. But they are all important aspects of me, and of who I am. Try to see yourself as more than your flaws, and recognize that they complete you
lyricalAngel70
June 13th, 2020 3:32pm
There was a time in my life when I hated myself a lot. To my surprise, it had nothing to do with myself or anything but with the fact that I was rejected, made to feel unwanted, criticized by people around me. I hated myself because I was not being loved by people I expected love from. My hate for myself grew every time my love was rejected by the person I loved the most. I started to compare myself with others even though I knew that I was one of the best of people anyone could ever have as a life partner. Although I could see the reality, I was denying it. I kept finding faults in me because of that person and their rejection. My self-esteem gradually decreased every single day. All this happened with me because I was seeking their validation. I was seeking love from a place where I got nothing but humiliation. Finally, I decided to stop expecting from people around me. I stopped caring about people and their criticism. Now, I love myself more than anyone. We start to hate ourselves when there is lack of love and affection in our lives. We hate ourselves because of how people behave with us. When people don't love us, especially those who are supposed to do so, we start hating ourselves. I highly believe that this is a vicious cycle and it can be only broken when we stop expecting people to love us and starting loving ourselves no matter what the circumstances are. When you can't love yourself, how can you expect people to love you? If we really want to be loved by others we need to learn to love our ownselves. Otherwise, we will forever be stuck in this loophole.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2016 1:41pm
because everything i have tried to accomplish has failed for stupid reasons. and also always let myself down.
Anonymous
May 4th, 2016 2:49am
I hate myself so much because no matter what i do, sometimes i can't get the results that i really wish i had.
peacefulBlossom32
May 4th, 2016 11:10am
You don't have sufficient self confidence. Try to fin out what you want and respect yourself. don't underestimate yourself.
SilentSerenityy
May 17th, 2016 7:45pm
Only you can answer this question. It's a shame to hear that you hate yourself though. I hope your view of yourself changes to a positive one eventually though. I wish you well.
JasonT
May 19th, 2016 2:08pm
There is no way for someone to answer this other than yourself, What is it you hate? Once you've decided on this then you can begin on working on it. Work on loving yourself. It isn't going to be an easy journey but you'll get there in the end.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2016 2:24pm
Maybe because you're focus on your negative thoughts and don't let the possitive ones flow. You shouldn't hate yourself because you're worthy.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 8:04pm
We see our selves differently from everyone else and we concentrate on all the thing we hate about our selves rather than what we love
Anonymous
May 21st, 2016 12:31pm
Sorry to hear that you are feeling bad about yourself and it feels very bad to be in conflict with our own selves. You probably have great reasons to love yourself and you come to talk with someone to start feeling good again about yourself.
AnimalOfFood
May 21st, 2016 7:33pm
Don't hate yourself! No matter what, you're so perfect. It's possibly due to actions you regret, but don't we all regret things we've said and done?
helpfulunicat
May 25th, 2016 4:20pm
Because your disorders/problems are clouding your eyes and your mind from seeing your god qualities; you hate yourself because we are our own worst critic, and its easier to see all your flaws than the good. But you don't have to continue being this way; you can always go to therapy to help yourself see the true you and all the positivity you bring to the world