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Why do I hate myself so much?

270 Answers
Last Updated: 05/18/2022 at 6:43pm
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
SoulHealing
August 18th, 2017 4:28pm
Maybe you are not satisfied with your personality or how you look? Learn to love yourself. Every human is unique and beautiful in different ways
Anonymous
August 24th, 2017 4:06pm
In my opinion, you hate yourself so much because you are your worst critic. When you look at the mirror, you have trained your brain to point out every single flaw. Why this started, is different with each person but it has evolved and become overwhelming in most cases.
compassionateYard7526
September 28th, 2017 12:06am
Personally, I hate myself because I set these goals and I work toward them but, when I don't get them, I think I am a failure and it destroys me. Yet I can't give up even when I want to more than anything and then if I succeed I want more. I'm not proud of myself because I can always be more. I never take time to congratulate myself because in my mindset I'm not good enough yet. I will never be good enough for myself.
ThornyBee
November 13th, 2017 7:58pm
I hate myself cause of a collection of self failures throughout my life. Work I g and trying your hardest for good out come but still epic failure. It's the situations and events of the past that has conditioned me and others to hate themselves. It's the pattern we're used to. It hurts, a lot, and that pain makes it impossible to have a positive out look even if it's possible. We hate ourselves cause it's what we are trained to do...
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 8:06pm
We often hear to treat others how we want to be treated and I try to remember this when it comes to how I view and treat myself. We often would love others far better than how we love ourselves. Many people fall into this struggle. It is okay to love who you are though. There is only one of you in the world and the world needs you. Love who you are. Accept who you are, accepting your story as a whole! Continue the positive things about you and work on your area of struggles. No matter what has happened in life, you are still worthy of love, belonging, and acceptance! You have a life ahead of you so practice loving yourself, practicing showing yourself the love you would show others. Wake up in the morning saying affirmations (I am...) and go to bed thinking about the positives from your day.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 11:21am
I hate myself so much because i am not able to prove myself at times, though i have the capability. And it makes me so pissed at myself.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2020 3:32pm
There was a time in my life when I hated myself a lot. To my surprise, it had nothing to do with myself or anything but with the fact that I was rejected, made to feel unwanted, criticized by people around me. I hated myself because I was not being loved by people I expected love from. My hate for myself grew every time my love was rejected by the person I loved the most. I started to compare myself with others even though I knew that I was one of the best of people anyone could ever have as a life partner. Although I could see the reality, I was denying it. I kept finding faults in me because of that person and their rejection. My self-esteem gradually decreased every single day. All this happened with me because I was seeking their validation. I was seeking love from a place where I got nothing but humiliation. Finally, I decided to stop expecting from people around me. I stopped caring about people and their criticism. Now, I love myself more than anyone. We start to hate ourselves when there is lack of love and affection in our lives. We hate ourselves because of how people behave with us. When people don't love us, especially those who are supposed to do so, we start hating ourselves. I highly believe that this is a vicious cycle and it can be only broken when we stop expecting people to love us and starting loving ourselves no matter what the circumstances are. When you can't love yourself, how can you expect people to love you? If we really want to be loved by others we need to learn to love our ownselves. Otherwise, we will forever be stuck in this loophole.
hrourkey18
December 13th, 2017 1:04am
Maybe you don't like the thoughts your having, or the way you handle situations. But you're just human, don't beat yourself up about it. Nobody's perfect and i'm sure you're great.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 3:26am
Because sometimes it's hard to see what is so great about yourself. Sometimes people or even your own mind makes you think so poorly of yourself, it's hard to change that mindset.
HeyMaxley
July 21st, 2018 8:05am
This is easy... when I look in the mirror or the people around me, I can only see the imperfections. I'm chubby with a baby face that makes me look like a permanent 12 year old all the time. I've got a stomach. Acne. Oily nose. no boyfriend. Inability to feel anything. Commitment issues to things like work, projects, or routine (like working out). Disappointment to everyone around me. Especially to myself. Everything sucks around me because I suck. And if I can't control anything around me, I feel helpless. But at least I can choose to hate myself.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2018 12:05pm
It is said sometimes you are your worse enemy. This is because you are your hardest critic. You continue to judge yourself until you become unforgiving. Hating yourself could have started because of something that happened or because something someone may have said. I have found that a part of overcoming this is through challenging your inner critic by responding to your own criticism with compassion.
NordligSno
January 27th, 2018 3:36am
Everybody has some self hatred. Seeing themselves in a negative and pessimistic light. That's just the part of our human nature. But you can make sure that you find the source and work on it from there. a) Could it be weight management? b) Is it something coming back to haunt you from the past? c) Are your friends complimenting & motivating you or are they dragging you down? d) Is your family treating you well? And so forth. You should also consider seeing a therapist about it to get to the root of the problem and ways to cope with it. :) Good luck.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 8:38am
There is a self-directed anger inside of you that needs to be resolved. There is no need to be too hard on yourself, as you slowly start to unravel this "knot" you will start to love yourself more!
youarespectacular
February 1st, 2018 8:32pm
it's difficult sometimes to let go of our insecurities. everyone has them. we are imperfect human beings. however, you are amazing. u deserve all the love in the world and i hope one day you will be able to give the love you need to yourself
Anonymous
April 18th, 2018 9:38pm
Do you hate yourself or hate what you do/where you are? Have you confronted this personal issue? You could write your thoughts and feelings on the way you're feeling and see if you can make sense of the question you ask.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 7:35pm
There could be many reasons to help yourself. Personally i've always hated myself for my actions, weight, grades and so on. You've got to learn to love yourself and make sure your worth everything because you are. Remember to #selfcare for yourself. We are all special in our own way and all beautiful. Do things you enjoy and treat yourself for the positive things you do also!
Anonymous
February 24th, 2018 2:10am
I think I hate myself because I know where I want to be but I am the only one who is stopping me ...
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 11:18pm
Maybe it's because others don't appreciate you enough. Love from others can make us feel loved and like ourselves more.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 2:17am
In my experience it is very easy to assume that you hate all of yourself when in actual fact you usually only hate certain aspects of your life. These aspects can usually be changed and it is up to you to change the things that you do hate. Surround yourself with positivity and work towards a happier you.
sweetmikayla
April 6th, 2018 3:03pm
You feel you are not following the standards imposed by society, so you hate yourself because you feel wrong. Actually, everyone is different and special in their own way, and there's no reason for you to hate yourself.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2018 8:41pm
This is a question I asked myself quite often and I knew the answer. For me, it was any failure or anything that I was or performed less than perfectly and the accumulation of these faults over the years. I always had an idea of what the perfect version of myself would be in every reimagining of a situation or future daydream, so that was my comparison and I hated that I could not achieve it. That is my insight and I hope it might connect. If you are having these negative feelings about yourself without genuinely knowing the fault, I hope talking more about it can help you discover the direction you can take to become happy.
HelloChell0
September 5th, 2018 3:59am
People tend to hate themselves because of unrealistic expectations. Whether it be to do with grades, work, income, perhaps even social expectations. If you judge yourself and everything you do harshly, you're going to start resenting yourself. Learn to love yourself and understand that expectations are only that, expectations. You should take life as you go and push for what you want rather than doing what you think is 'right' in regards to social constuct and what others are doing with their lives. Just do you and persue what you want to do. Faliure is normal, so when you do - don't beat yourself up over it. Take it as a lesson and learn from it.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2018 8:51am
Loving yourself isn’t easy! But you must alway try, wether you feel better about the way you did your make up or your new haircut. If you don’t like something Fix it! But everyday wake up and look at yourself and pick out one thing that you love about your self it can be small or big and sooner or later you’ll love every bit of you
Sciamach
September 8th, 2018 8:35pm
only you can say why you hate yourself, but even then, it often is accompanied with a feeling of complete inadequacy. whether out of abuse, peer pressure, or the like, you feel like you're not good enough. you want to please others, but first, you have to please yourself. stop focusing on whether you're good enough! comparing yourself with other people doesn't make for a good time at all, and you need to change your mindset. there's good, and then there's also good. improve yourself and focus on living a happy life, and perhaps at that point will your feelings subside.
MarkPeace
September 26th, 2018 1:13am
There are multiple reasons why people hate themselves. But what I noticed is that most people don't hate "themselves" persay. But they hate their inability to take action. They see themselves stuck on the same place not going anywhere. They can't challenge themselves and they hate that. They feel stuck and frustrated. Climbing out of this hole can feel hard, sometimes impossible. Which makes us even more frustrated and the cycle repeats itself. The solution is not simple or easy. And I don't claim to know the answer since the question didn't ask for an answer. But what I found to work for me is discipline. Cultivate discipline and get up and do what you need to do even if you don't feel like it. Eventually it will get easier. And after a while you might find yourself enjoying it.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2022 6:43pm
A lot of people tend to compare themselves to others or to standards society has set, and when they feel like they don't meet these expectations, it can lower their self-esteem and confidence and allow negative intrusive thoughts that put the blame on themselves to seep in. I always find myself at my lowest points when I feel like I'm not doing as much schoolwork as I should or when I'm late on hitting milestones. I was always hard on myself for getting my license at 20 when most people I knew got theirs at 16. Then I began to realize that life shouldn't be seen as a competition, and that prioritizing myself and my health actually helped me more than pushing myself way past my limits.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2018 4:13am
When we do something that we are not supposed to do, or a deed that you find unkind, but unfortunately do it, you start feeling bad about your own self. That's called self loathing, when you keep loathing yourself, it turns into hate. Self hate is experienced by all of us at some point in our lives, you need to find the reason behind your hate, and do try to forgive yourself by bringing change to the situation, which bought you this hate.The answer to this question, can only be answered by you. You know yourself better than anyone else, you need to find the answer within yourself, and maybe a little support from a kind human being can be a big help.
Indigochild611
November 24th, 2018 4:00am
Because we have yet to tap into the beauty, potential and love that we are capable. We are all meant to do something... You just have to self evaluate find out who you are, become your support system ( your own best friend/ therapsit) love yourself, believe in yourself and you will go so far. You have to want to thrive in this life but i promise you that you are capable of it. If you don't have a reason why be your own reason, or let the sky be your reason or a butterfly or a tree or the wind. You will find it. Just don't give up on yourself. You will regret it and everyone will miss you.
ryanjsmith
November 21st, 2018 8:23pm
Often, your self hate comes from a lack of self confidence, which is usually due to the people around you. If the people around you aren't nice to you and don't treat you well, you're bound to lose your self confidence and as a result, begin to hate yourself. My main point would often be, there is nothing wrong with you as a person, it's the people you have surrounded yourself by / have been forced to be around that are causing these negative thoughts about yourself. Other people have a large effect on us despite us believing they don't. Try to find other friends, people that treat you as you deserve; everyone deserves someone and that someone is always out there for you, you just need to go and find them.
Silverlining30
June 10th, 2018 3:39pm
Could come from pressure from others being confident or the fact you arnt accepted into "society's norm" which no one should. You may also feel like what you do or how you act isn't under your control and your actions cause you to feel hate for yourself. Which shouldn't be the case. Only do something if you feel morally happy with it and you think through it