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Why do I hate myself so much?

262 Answers
Last Updated: 03/31/2021 at 11:30pm
Why do I hate myself so much?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
October 23rd, 2016 8:10am
In my experience, hating oneself is the result of spending so much time engrossed with your own thoughts that you forget to spend time helping other people.
April 17th, 2017 12:03am
Hatred is something we feel at some points in our lives. Mostly we find someone else to blame and hate for something that happened. But there are cases where one gets stuck in the idea that they are the problem in everything and this is the point where self-hatred begins. There are several mental illnesses which make this feeling even stronger or hold back from seeing the good again. It's okay to be critical with oneself but it's not healthy to hate the most important person in one's life.
June 22nd, 2017 7:17pm
You may hate yourself if you are not confident in yourself or if you don't have a good support system. Remember we are all very important in life and we all have a purpose, you just have to find that purpose and sometimes that is not easy and takes a lot of soul searching!
August 12th, 2017 9:08pm
People are usually more hard on themselfs then others so just relax and think about your positive traits and if you think that you have none than make yourself like you want yourself to be. You can make yourself whatever you want only if you work hard
March 8th, 2018 12:01pm
I guess we start hating ourselves when we see more flaws than strengths in our character. You should look for the good in yourself. If you can’t do it yourself, ask someone to point them out for you. There’s always going to be a light in that darkness. Don’t lose hope, because there’s always going to be goodness somewhere in the world. If you believe that, then you’ll know you can’t be the only one with your situation in the world. In my case, this belief helped me see the good in myself and I hardly ever tell myself I’m hated these days.
May 5th, 2018 4:19am
Maybe because that's what people by your side who were meant to be supportive of you - told you or made you believe this about yourself?
April 23rd, 2016 3:01pm
You hate yourself so much possibly because you are not living up to your expecations and they may be too high for you. Also, it could be from negative self talk and poor self esteem.
May 6th, 2016 4:46pm
To answer your question, I would recommend you to join a support chat room or message any of listeners from 7cups.
May 13th, 2016 10:57am
Maybe you don't quit understand yourself yet. Expand your figure of yourself, make yourelf what you want to be. You'll start seeing how much less there is to hate than to love.
June 1st, 2016 11:48pm
Because you aren't where you wish to be in life yet
July 9th, 2016 6:20am
Hating yourself is normally caused by the constant need to compare yourself to others. When you compare yourself to people who are 'prettier', 'fitter', or 'richer' than you, it can lower your self esteem immensely.
July 13th, 2016 2:59pm
It is because your mind has become habituated in amplifying your negatives, and nullifying your positives. Try the 7 cups guides on Managing Emotions, Grief, Anxiety, Depression, Lonliness, Panic Attacks..................................also others to learn some nice strategies of dealing with negative thinking. You may not find them anywhere else.
July 15th, 2016 3:41pm
you didn't know how to love yourself and the only thing you want to remember is to live yourself first and next anybody.stop analysing yourself with negative thoughts.just remember " your inner world determines your outer world"
October 20th, 2016 11:38am
I do not hate myself. I might hate myself only when I messed up and do not do what I have set out to do. It is all about being insecure about myself.
June 1st, 2017 10:19pm
People's minds and bodies are like words; if you think or look at them for too long they look weird. Respect yourself in a way you wold respect a celebrity or a loved one. You are the only person you need in your life; love and cherish yourself. You will be better at something than someone else and someone else will be better at something than you are but that doesn't make you any less amazing. We're all only human, we live in our bodies and we should love them.
June 25th, 2017 8:04am
Honestly...sometimes we all reach a point where we have low self-esteem. Even the listeners the only reason you hate yourself are a couple of things your insecure and notice your flaws..youve made a mistake(s)..and you regret get discouraged..etc. We all have our own reasons. Mine is sometimes still now I'm always dissapointed in myself and ive been able to change that. Ive worked really hard avoid music that can trigger you about flaws or problems you kinda realize that no ones perfect but people have a different way of showing it.
July 5th, 2017 5:07am
Sometimes people are hyper critical of themselves. It's a normal thing but it's highly detrimental to your overall mental health. You should try to start thinking of yourself the way your friends do. If you think something mean about yourself just ask "would my friend say this to me?"
July 12th, 2017 12:53pm
I am my biggest critic and worst enemy. I have done things in my life that cause me to carry around great shame. But, I am learning to love myself again!
July 13th, 2017 8:17pm
Half the time we dont hate ourselves, but hate the situations we are in. Sometimes if we change things around us that make us happy, we realize that we dont hate ourselves but hated the situation we were in.
July 22nd, 2017 9:25pm
As someone that suffers from that as well, I don't really know why we do. When you look at it, most of the time there are things that we like about ourselves, they're just not important enough to us to outweigh the things we hate. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things someone can learn to do, but the best way to do it is to surround yourself with people that love you and work on the things that you CAN change about yourself, and become someone you love using the support of your loved ones and the desire to be better.
August 10th, 2017 11:13am
Self-loathing is common for all of us. There's always a point in everybody's life where they hate themselves. It is because, we tend to ignore all the positivity in ourselves and only focus on the negativity instead. The most helpful way of overcoming it is to learn to love yourself. See the light of positivity in you, that you won't be able to see until you get off that blindfold of looking at you through other's perspectives. No one can know you better than yourself, remember that.
August 13th, 2017 1:56pm
Perhaps you're dealing with low self esteem and a negative self image. These can be worked on by developing a more positive outlook through positive self talk, working through any issues you have (i.e depression/anxiety) and by developing a better self image in general, and learning to love yourself.
August 20th, 2017 4:02pm
You may be feeling guilty for something you have done in the past which might have affected someone physically or mentally. Not to worry, its never to late to realize our mistakes. Realization is the first step towards positivity and success.
November 10th, 2017 6:20pm
You can hate yourself so much if you do something you know you will regret, had a bad day or have a condition that resulted in the actions you may have took but tried to prevented.
November 22nd, 2017 3:53pm
I am sorry that you cannot see your value. I don't know you, but I can assure you that you are valuable and wonderful. You should discuss your feelings with your parents and trusted friends. If this continues, you should see a counselor or a professional. You are worthy and should feel safe and comfortable in your own skin.
December 3rd, 2017 3:42pm
You are still here. Do something that makes you feel good. Talk to the people that love you, maybe figure out why others care about you. Even if its hard to care about yourself. I do not know why you hate yourself. But I believe you can find out why others don't. Perhaps there is not so much to hate after all.
December 20th, 2017 4:46pm
May be you hate yourself because you blame yourself for everything that happens in your life. You oversee your good qualities and focus on your bad ones may be so that you can improve them but fail which makes you hate yourself more. You are the one who can tell correctly why you hate yourself so much and change it.
July 14th, 2018 2:57pm
1) because you have an internal nature where you compare....with others...therefore you think others are doing better and hence hate yourself. 2) because you have a critical nature....which is always picking faults...faults of others...faults you see in yourself.
August 18th, 2017 4:28pm
Maybe you are not satisfied with your personality or how you look? Learn to love yourself. Every human is unique and beautiful in different ways
August 24th, 2017 4:06pm
In my opinion, you hate yourself so much because you are your worst critic. When you look at the mirror, you have trained your brain to point out every single flaw. Why this started, is different with each person but it has evolved and become overwhelming in most cases.