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How do I stop myself from falling in love?

179 Answers
Last Updated: 11/15/2021 at 6:32am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
November 18th, 2014 4:38am
Why do you want to stop yourself from falling in love is there something that may be too difficult about the relationship you may not want to get into?
November 30th, 2014 3:53pm
Based on my personal experience, I stay away from the person that i might fall in love with, keep busy , try new things , read a lot. I remember the pain love causes and i try my best to ignore the idea.
November 22nd, 2014 8:51pm
I'm not sure why you don't want to love this person, but I'm going to answer as if you have a very valid reason (the other person isn't single or isn't romantically/sexually compatible, or has expressed a lack of romantic interest in you, or you're already in an exclusive relationship, etc.) It's hard, but try to spend as much time away from the person as possible; when around them, try not to socialize any more than necessary. Take note of all their flaws, and remind yourself of all the reasons a relationship between you two wouldn't work. And try to notice all the other attractive people around you. Find a really unattractive feature (could be physical or part of their personality) and fixate on that, until they don't seem as appealing anymore.
December 17th, 2014 4:33am
You can't- the oxytocin, dopamin and serotoninin in your brain simply won't allow it. Too bad. Love hurts, but it also heals.
November 14th, 2014 2:43pm
That is a good question. Usually we fall in love when we find someone who fills a certain need that we have like emotional reassurance or appreciation or any such thing that makes you feel good. Now, what you can do is seek what you want from a another more reasonable source if you want to "fall out of love" with the person in question.
September 12th, 2015 7:50pm
how can you stop yourself from falling in love??? haha.... thats a really good one. anyone who really knows will tell you that you can't tell your heart what to do.
December 20th, 2015 6:48am
Learn to fall in love with yourself . Date yourself . Take yourself out to eat. Stroll around an art museum all by yourself. Fall in love with canvas. Gift yourself . :) You wouldn't want to love anyone else in that case . Peace.
December 7th, 2014 4:56am
Don't we all want to fall in love right? I'm like that too! Nothing in me wants to be single and I'm guessing you're like that too. The thing about it is, you have to know that when you are willing to put yourself all-in to a relationship and they don't reciprocate, that you deserve better. You aren't as helpless to love as you think you are. Its not like you ran your car into a ditch. Don't try to stop yourself from falling in love, just try to recognize better who are those people who deserve the love you have to offer them. If you want to fall in love, you want to be that awesome person they deserve and you owe it to yourself to find someone worthy of that! Don't' try to stop falling in love. Try to find someone worth falling in love with but be smarter about it all. Be ready to go all in but maybe hold out a little longer than you are currently comfortable with and recognize that you don't have to go all in so soon. Give them a chance to prove they deserve your love.
December 30th, 2014 11:17pm
This is very complicated to do. If you want to stop from caring about someone, you need to find something about them that you hate with a passion. Another way you can stop yourself is to stop contacting this person. I tend not to like this option, but just in case the person you like is literally perfect, try this method.
September 5th, 2015 6:59am
You can't. You can't stop yourself from falling in love as it is part of nature. Not only falling in love with someone we like, falling in love is general. For me, I falls for the warm of my mother's hugs or the smell of good food from the kitchen. We as a human tend to fall in love over silly things sometimes. All you can do is control yourself. The word here is "control". For example, in the stage where puberty hits you with the level of hormone keeps going up..every girl or guy that look at you or talk to you, you will feel like you're in love. But, sadly it is just the devil hormone jobs. Its totally okay to be in love or to fall in love. Everything has its limit. You have to know whether the butterflies inside your stomach is the sign of nervous in love or just an imagination. Sometimes human keeps convincing themself that they are in love but, once they are into that stage..they'll give up. You have to know what makes you in love with someone. Be mature with your choices. Don't fall for someone that has large biceps or flirting out with you through texting. Love is more than that. Love is beyond than we ever imagine, as for me, love is all about accepting someone with her/his true-self. Maybe after broke up with your partner, you'll feel scared to fall in love again..but, don't be. Maybe that is just a testing phase, a phase to teach you how to be strong, independent and overcome sadness incase it happens again. Never stop yourself from falling in love, but cherish the moment you are not in love or in love. What matters the most, as long you love yourself way higher than anyone won't feel hurt or scared to fall with someone. After all, we are the one who controls our body. Love yourself first if you find falling in love with someone is too hard for you. But, never stop falling in love. Love is wonderful and perfect. We as human make it look horrible with the flaws we did.
December 24th, 2015 9:03am
To be honest, it's pretty funny for me when people ask that because you can't. But see this when you want to stop something that mean you are afraid of repeat a bad thing, but the thing is no one is actually afraid of falling in love, what we afraid of is being rejected.
November 5th, 2015 5:21am
Hun, I', afraid you cannot stop yourself from falling in love. You can how ever, give yourself reasons to not pursue the feelings for whomever it may be. Find red flags, toxic attributes, and fatal flaws about the person. Respect yourself in order to gain the will power to leave what will not grow you, strengthen you, or make you happy, or benefit you in the long run. If you resist long enough, you will learn to be happy without that person, and the feelings will eventually go away.
August 28th, 2015 2:40am
Love, or rather true love, is something that you can't really truly suppress. Maybe for some time you can tell yourself that you must stop falling in love, or that you simply can't love someone, but at some point that feeling will come back. If you want to stop yourself from falling in love because you're afraid that it will cause problems, then let me say this: there is nothing wrong with falling in love; what you do with it is the one that causes problems. When you fall in love, it does not necessarily mean that you MUST pursue that person or make that person love you back. You must think to yourself first what appropriate action you must take.
September 5th, 2015 12:20am
You can't. But love is such a wonderful feeling. I haven't fallen in love for a while now, and I really miss that sensation. I know it isn't easy, but love is what really makes you feel alive.
July 20th, 2015 5:04am
When I want to stop myself from falling in love, I ensure that I draw boundaries around me. I don't allow a person or people to cross that. I keep communication short and simple and keep to myself beyond a point. I distract myself by immersing myself in activities that need my attention. For instance the theatre or music or something totally random. I may be doing this either because I don't feel ready enough to get into a relationship or have other pressing priorities which need my attention. I avoid the person who has caught my fancy and avoid obsessing about her. The human brain at any given point of time, can hold one thought. I ensure that thought is something else and nothing to do with my conflicting emotions. When I have consistently followed this pattern for a while, the feeling I have had for that individual is put in the backburner and I can get on with my life.
September 14th, 2015 9:42pm
Try focusing on improving yourself daily. A hobby or some kind of dedicated activity can distract you from human tendencies like falling in love, while improving yourself at the same time.
September 19th, 2015 8:14pm
Work hard on becoming emotionally independent, so base your happiness solely on how you treat others and what you do in your daily life, not on how you are treated. The stronger relationship you have with yourself, the lesser you need other people to reinforce your self-worth.
December 20th, 2015 12:26am
I don't think there is a way. Falling in love is a natural process; you can't force yourself to love someone, just like you can't force yourself to stop loving someone. Obviously it's usually good to fall in love with someone if they also love you back, but it may be different if the other person doesn't feel the same, which someone is hard to accept. But this doesn't mean you can 'force' to feel differently about them. If their feeling towards you isn't mutual, the best thing you can do is keep yourself busy with projects so that you don't physically have time to think about that person. Over time, your mind will become used to not thinking about them due to lack of time, and so the feelings will eventually start to fade. You may wake up one day in the future and realise you never really loved that person anyway and perhaps it was more of infatuation than love. But overall, you can't stop yourself from falling in love, you can just learn to control your emotions so that it doesn't affect your everyday functioning.
October 25th, 2015 8:35pm
Fall in love with yourself first! The stronger relationship you have with yourself, the lesser you need other people to reinforce your self-worth.
December 16th, 2015 5:01pm
Falling in love is not something you can control. It's like gravity. You fall when you are supposed to fall.
January 20th, 2016 9:17pm
Ahh... a tricky one. I guess this very much depends on what you personally define as love. Some see it as the tingly feeling in your stomach, others a deep passion for another person. Sometimes caring about someone so much that you feel you are in love with them, can become a bit of a problem especially if you are currently in a relationship. My advice would be - try to picture them as a very good friend, rather than a potential lover. Overtime your mind will start to see this person differently.
March 1st, 2016 10:53am
There are multiple reasons to stop yourself from falling in love and I totally respect your decision to want to stop it. First, my advice is to throw yourself into other things. It could be academics or your hobbies or your career! Completely put that person away in your mind and stop seeing them romantically! You don't have to distance yourself totally, just a little bit until you're very sure you only see them as a friend :)
August 29th, 2015 2:02pm
I think the question here is how do I stop myself from being attracted to someone [and add here scenarios like "someone else who is already taken" or "someone who is not really right for me" and others]? Falling in love takes attraction, feelings and emotions into consideration. You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from falling in love because it is a feeling. You may want to just avoid that person if that's what you wanted to do. But do take note that falling in love and loving someone can mean two different things. When you fall in love, it is due to feelings and other factors [physical attraction, monetary security, etc.] and feelings may come and go. But when you love someone, it is unconditional. You don't focus too much on yourself and your wants and needs. But rather, you focus on the other person.
September 3rd, 2015 2:29am
love happens, there's absolutely nothing you can do to save yourself from that. your brain pratically kills itself. makes you fall in love and then makes you destroy yourself because of that. I'm sorry, but that's how it works.
November 8th, 2015 2:58pm
Please dont . Believe me it is the best felling. I am a broken heart emotionally damaged person still i am supporting love so there must be a reason behind this.
September 27th, 2015 4:56pm
They say you cannot control who are you falling in love with. But I believe that you can control who are you giving your heart to. Falling in love may not be controllable but we can control what we show and to whom. Feelings can be educated as we need to realize that sometimes our hearts don't make the best decisions for us.
January 3rd, 2016 10:06am
Falling in love is a great experience but falling in love with an ideal image of a person usually makes you wish you didn't as it hits you that you're not in love with the person (with all their flaws) but rather an image. When you realize you are extremely attracted to a person, you should firstly remember that ,he or she isn't a perfect being. And then proceed to look out for some flaws or misdemeanors of the said person. This will bring you out of the clouds and damage that perfect image of the person you have. Now evaluate yourself to find out if you could accept this person for how flawed they are. Herein lies the answer to whether you are truly in love or as in most times attracted to a perfect image of said person.
August 29th, 2015 3:12am
Whoa! If anyone has the answer to this please let the rest of us know. Write a book about it! Patent it! Bottle it and sell it right next to the self help books!
September 23rd, 2015 7:56pm
If only we had that kinda control over ourselves ...There are a few things like love and happiness, which we should just let ourselves to experience
September 26th, 2015 9:02am
We cannot control what we feel, so I'm afraid you cannot stop yourself from falling in love. We do have a good degree of authority over our actions, however; so we can choose whether to act on the feelings or not.