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How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?

259 Answers
Last Updated: 02/23/2021 at 7:24pm
How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?
★ This question about Relationship Stress was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
August 12th, 2015 5:24am
Never swallow part of yourself for somebody's sake... there happiness isn't defined by you being a certain type of way. There the bigot while you get to smile at them and say I am who I am. It's a matter of accepting yourself... if they have an issue, its there issue not yours. Hence Being offended is fucking bullshit and further more makes respect a void concept.
August 16th, 2015 8:17pm
The most important thing in a relationship is loving yourself and being self-confident, only that way a relationship works ;) And communication too! When both talk about what are they feeling and try to help each other, everything is beautiful
December 11th, 2015 9:52am
By embracing the fact that NOTHING is for FOREVER. Accept that people will change. Accept that being insecure means that you love the person.
December 18th, 2015 1:15am
A relationship is a big step, I think that by being in a relationship you already faced and overcame many insecurities with yourself even if you didn't realize, soif you are already in a relationship you are not just dealing with your emotionsa and the best for your security and wellness in all states but also of other person, so there's a bond between you, in which you shouldn't feel insecure about, you should probably just remember the reason why you and that person got together and realize of all the things that bring you together instead of the ones that tear you apart and if after placing the goods and the bads of the relation is very important to keep connection with your partner and tell them how you feel and all of your problems they probably will understand or at least try because they obviously care for your wellness and if they don't you shouldn't stay with that person, you can always work on your relation, make the bond stronger but if you realize that the relation is not making any good or is making you suffer in any way you just end it, and focus on yourself. (not that abrupt though, always try to understand your partner too)
December 19th, 2015 1:20am
that stage will come with time. if you can't right now? then you can't right now. trust me, you are not mature enough. i am just being freaking honest here.
January 2nd, 2016 9:45am
Try to stay within your bounds and comfort levels. Don't do anything your partner suggests or wants unless you either want to are comfortable doing so. It's also not bad to ask them to affirm you
January 5th, 2016 4:10am
He/She should make you feel beautiful both on the insides and out.
January 6th, 2016 10:56am
Well, you first gotta be sure that your partner is there for you, that he can understand and support you. Talk to your half about these things, don't keep them inside. After you cleared that out, it's as easy as that trust game, when you let yourself fall and you get caught by your partner. If it's a strong, healthy relationship, you'll see how easy it gets to feel confortable with the loved one. I hope this was helpful, and i also hope you'll succeed.
January 6th, 2016 5:28pm
By believing in yourself and trusting that you're more than enough you don't need anybody but yourself to be happy
January 9th, 2016 9:14pm
Insecurity is just a construct you created for yourself, and the moment you realize that your relationship isn't fully dependent on your seen good qualities, you will stop being insecure. Your lover won't see the imperfections you do, whether its the way your laugh sounds or the way your nose crinkles. Chances are, your significant other even finds your insecurities adorable since they're a part of you.
March 18th, 2016 8:51pm
First, understand that it is not at all uncommon to feel insecure in a relationship. You are not alone. Second, know that there are ways to feel more confident -- by trusting your intuition, taking the time to fully process your feelings, and being kind to yourself without judgment -- and third, to reach out and talk with a listener at
March 31st, 2016 7:16pm
What makes you insecure in your relationship? Have you talked to your partner? Have you talked to a relationship counselor with your partner maybe?
January 8th, 2018 7:51pm
Communication. I cannot stress this enough. Talk to your partner, trust them. If you have worries, try and explain why, what it is. It's better to talk it out than to internalise it all
April 11th, 2015 3:27am
just know that any sensible person would not be in a relationship with you just because. They are in a relationship with you because they care about you and want to be there for you.. so if they didn't feel like you were worth it, they would invest time in you and he/she is.. so you're special to them.
June 14th, 2015 10:34pm
Some cases you can't get rid of the insecurities. Even though you have insecure issues doesn't mean he your partner doesn't. In most cases if you have insecure issues, so does your partner.
June 18th, 2015 8:35pm
Security in a relationship is based on mutual trust and open communication. Talk with your partner openly and be sure that there are no feelings of distrust hiding in the closet.
June 18th, 2015 9:11pm
You should include some affirmations in your life! Tell yourself that you are beautiful, kind, generous, warm and intelligent person and that every boy/girl should be happy to date you. Or ask your friends what they genuinely think of you. You'll see that you are even better person than you think. Good luck!
June 18th, 2015 10:35pm
Honesty is the best policy, it can lead to the ability to be open about fears and worries which in turn can abate them. A burden shared is a burden halved. If you cannot be honest, its possible that the insecurity will grow and the relationship will fail or become unhealthy.
June 19th, 2015 2:20am
Look inwards and realize the core of your insecurities; then you make a choice: over come it or dont
June 19th, 2015 3:03am
Remember that that person is in your life for a reason, they chose you and they think you are perfect. YOU ARE PERFECT
June 19th, 2015 4:15am
Its difficult to stop being insecure in a relationship; however, a relationship is a two way commitment and insecurity on one end may spread to the other. First, try to rely on yourself and build up your confidence by acknowledging both your positive and negative aspects of your personality. If that doesn't work its okay to ask others around you for support especially your partner. Letting them know of your insecurities is the best way not to avoid miscommunication.
June 19th, 2015 5:04am
It might be a good idea to talk to your partner about what you're specifically insecure about! That way, everything's out in the open, and you can work on ways together of feeling more secure!
June 19th, 2015 7:46am
Work on being more confident in your self. Make a list of all the qualities that you posses that make you feel happy,worth while or successful. Then turn that list into a sort of mirror for yourself, if you can boost your self esteem then your relationship with other people with flourish because the relationship you have with yourself is so lovely.
June 19th, 2015 12:15pm
I think its innate for humans to feel a little insecure sometimes. But for some of us, the insecurity may not last for just a little while. Sometimes the insecurity gets to an unhealthy level and paralyzes us or worse, those around us. We tend to focus so much on our own flaws that we fail to realize how much we are affecting the people who truly care about us. Insecurity is something that will take a lot of time, effort and love to get over with. I believe the first step to overcoming our insecurities is to open up and allow the people close to us to help us. Not only that but we should also learn to trust the people we love.
June 19th, 2015 4:09pm
Insecurity is something that is extremely personal, because it depends on you and your feelings towards yourself and the situations around you. I can relate to feeling insecure because it is something I struggle with every single day, even in my relationship too. Personally, I have simply talked to my partner about it and since they know me better than anyone and they know my weaknesses and strengths and so they know that they just need to give me a little more reassurance about things every now and again and they do, which is helpful to me and keeps me feeling safe and secure in the relationship and in general. Dealing with insecurity is a very difficult thing and it's not just an off and on switch kind of thing, it's an ongoing challenge... It's something I work at constantly and I'm constantly getting better.
June 19th, 2015 5:27pm
Talk to your partner about it and they can help you feel more comfortable with the relationship. Though there are probably many other ways.
June 19th, 2015 7:36pm
Can you? Maybe you already did that just by thinking it. Who knows. Give it a try. Its in you. Only you can chang you and ONLY If you really want it
June 19th, 2015 11:14pm
Trust the other person in said relationship to have a good enough reason to care for you. Questioning your position in a relationship is helpful only from time to time. Constantly doing so makes you come up with reasons to doubt yourself, while the best thing about a relationship is to be able to stop being actively aware of who you are while in it, because, be it friendship, be it love, a relationship is a warm place for people to be themselves together.
June 20th, 2015 12:12am
Confess to your partner about your insecurities , or a friend or family member or maybe even a councilor
June 20th, 2015 5:38am
You talk to your significant other to clear things out. It helps when you're both on the same page in the relationship.