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How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?

258 Answers
Last Updated: 01/08/2018 at 7:51pm
How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?
★ This question about Relationship Stress was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Compassionate, non-judgemental and experienced substance abuse therapist driven to helping guide clients to overcome issues relating to abusing drugs and/or alcohol.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 28th, 2015 9:34am
I have found that figuring out your personal insecurities & focusing on their origin helps to over come them
MelodySongs
June 28th, 2015 4:44pm
Well, I think the first thing you can try is thinking about the situation from a slightly different perspective. Maybe try considering the fact that you are in a relationship, which means that the other person loves and cares about you a great deal. With this is mind, feel free to be direct with your partner! You would want the same from them right? Explain your insecurities... You may even find that they feel the same way. A relationship needs honesty and open communication to thrive, so don't be afraid to speak what's on your mind.
Ieatkrogans
June 28th, 2015 7:57pm
Realize that a relationship is a mutual choice: you chose the person you are with for several good reasons and so did they.
Loveandpeace17
July 1st, 2015 1:07am
This is a good question. To me i think you just have to allow yourself to accept that you're the one your partner chose out of everyone. Another thing just be comfortable with yourself. Find one thing you love about yourself/ appearance and make that your thought for when you start feeling insecure. Also continue to pick things about yourself that you like.
Chevy81
July 1st, 2015 2:19am
Communicate to my partner about how insecure I feel and try to find ways together to sort this thing out.
ahelpinghand100
July 1st, 2015 3:52am
Sometimes it helps to open up to your partner about how you feel and he/she will take an action to help you get rid of your insecurities.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 11:54am
Realise that you were a worthwhile person before this relationship started and you'll still be worthwhile if it ends. Your self worth should not rely on others but on yourself as a whole. The minute you realise you are good enough for anyone because you're a good person rather than because you look a certain way you'll stop feeling insecure and realise that they're lucky to have you.
HereToListen2You
July 1st, 2015 4:10pm
Sit down with that person and chat, for as long as it takes! If things still don't work out, you might need to question your relationship :)
SoulfullAshley
July 1st, 2015 10:04pm
Maybe it is because you do not really know yourself. If you do not know yourself, how can you be comfortable with the person you are in a relationship with?
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 2:01am
To stop being insecure in your relationship you could always try stepping out of your comfort zone small steps at a time.
RamBamTheBeast
July 2nd, 2015 7:11am
start trusting your partner more and stopping worrying that they're going to do something unfaithful. if they love you as they say they do then you should trust them
optimisticKoala39
July 2nd, 2015 6:34pm
You should be secure in yourself before you are in a relationship. Do not enter a relationship for the wrong reasons. Those reasons will lead to a downfall.
heartfulApricot25
July 2nd, 2015 8:45pm
you need to work on honing your skills and keep becoming a better you.. you need to be confident about yourself finally you will understand that you no longer feel insecure
Ria1234
July 2nd, 2015 11:24pm
Do things bit by bit, don't feel pressured for anything! And if they love you they wouldn't judge you anyway!
compassionateVale96
July 3rd, 2015 5:10am
Don't overthink. Don't jump into conclusions, don't make assumption out of nowhere. Be positive minded
LoveYourself21
July 3rd, 2015 12:30pm
Try talking about it. Try showing off more. Get used to your relationship, don't be shy be free.
janusheva
July 3rd, 2015 2:20pm
First af all you should stop focusing on the negatives and stop inventing problems that are little and don't matter also you should stop looking forward for a perfect relationship because there isn't one.You need to understand that a good relationship is about sharing ideas and enjoyable moments with another.
sighnomore
July 3rd, 2015 9:57pm
Communicate! Help yourself and help the person to understand how you're feeling and why. It'll be the best approach in the long run because it'll strengthen your bond, boost your confidence and avoid conflict from misunderstanding or miscommunication.
EverythingIsFine
July 4th, 2015 1:57am
1) Stop confusing imagination with reality 2) Avoid the Certainty Trap 3) Give the relationship room to breathe 4) Stop 'mind reading' 5) Stop comparing current relationships to past ones 6) For security: Seek self-assurance 7) Focus on the good 8) Stop looking for perfect relationships.
compassionatelife
July 4th, 2015 9:35am
Insecure is feeling that is very natural in a relation it happens because you are afraid of loosing that person. But if this feeling persists then it can become the reason for you to drive that person away. firstly you need to trust your partner as the whole relationship is based on. secondly figure out the reasons which are leading to you feeling this way are they even appropiate???
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 5:26pm
Your partner chose YOU. Out of all the people in this world, you were chosen. Just knowing that should give you some sense of security. Remind yourself of all the things you bring to the relationship, of the contributions you make to it.
Lisanne
July 4th, 2015 9:08pm
Talk about your insecurities with your partner, talking always helps and relieves stress. You should be honest with you feelings.
Br33zyS3tz
July 4th, 2015 10:04pm
Insecurity most definitely can affect a relationship, any relationship in a negative way. It is important to remain confident and steady, in light of one's morals and emotions. Trust must be built, maintained, and promoted within a relationship in order for such a relationship to succeed and be health. Ultimately, if you find yourself expreincinc insecurity within your relationship, it is important to discuss such feelings with your partner, to allow yourself to be vulernable and honest, up-front and personal, with your partner. Many things are solved with honesty; it is important to be fully invested and committed, as you are not the only person with emotions, with a life, on the line. Relationships revolved around two people, two souls; share your emotions with one another, your concerns; be careful about making assumptions, or dishonoring each other's trust and privacy. Be strong and true to yourself; take the time to confront one another, to map things out, to explain circumstances and internalizations. Do what is best for the both of you; be patient, kind and sturdy.
seesarrow
July 5th, 2015 5:59am
Stop worrying about the other person in your relationship, and worry about yourself. The first step to any successful relationship is to love yourself. It may be cliche to say, but it is true. Care for yourself first. Everyone else can wait.
PondIsle
July 5th, 2015 2:21pm
Confidence is key. The person you are with is with you because they want to be- not because they're being forced to be. It's a simple thought, but easy enough to help you feel a bit better when you feel insecure about things.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 4:17pm
Talk with your partner about the things what make you insecure, it will connect you stronger and you will fell better. If you cant talk with him try to talk with your best friend, or just do something what will distract your minds, Your insecure can be caused by something, but fell free to talk about that with your partner.
peachysunny
July 5th, 2015 8:48pm
you need to e with some one who makes you happy and if the person that you are with dosn;t you need to get out of the un healthy relationship
originalLion57
July 5th, 2015 9:05pm
First, you'll need to identify why you're feeling insecure and then communiate with your partner about your feelings of insecurity and hopefully move forward from that.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 1:23am
It depends on the situation. If you and your partner and treating each other well, yet you feel lesser or inferior to them, you should consider taking some time to yourself. No, that doesn't necessarily mean breaking up if you are happy with this person. But the first step to a healthy relationship is independent confidence. If your partner is bringing you down emotionally and/or physically, find the strength to end it. It will be hard at first. You will want to sob. You will regret it. But then, looking back, you won't regret it. You'll smile and realize you did the right thing. If you are happy with your relationship, you are confident, and your partner treats you well, there can still be other outside stressers like people who judge you as a couple or unapproving family members. Either overcome and learn to work past these negative comments or hear out those doubters because, if they are loved ones, their input may be more valuable than you think.
someone0013
July 8th, 2015 2:58am
its just about your way of speaking , you can make the conversation focus on your guest all the time , with even attaching some situations to your remarkable ones .. you have to consider them all as you totally feel your guest's reasonable reaction towards such a situation , and that could be useful to make him/her get into more details about some stuff and this will make the conversation go deeper and open more gates for you to solve such a problem ..