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Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?

243 Answers
Last Updated: 04/20/2022 at 4:35pm
Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
August 12th, 2018 7:14pm
Set yourself small but achievable goals and right them down. Each time you complete one, tick it off.
August 12th, 2018 11:15pm
Whenever I wake up, I head to the mirror and say 3 compliments to myself, ending off with 'whatever life throws at you today, you WILL overcome it'. I then set one target for the day - it doesn't have to be ridiculously complex. It can be something as easy as smiling at 3 people.
August 14th, 2018 9:18pm
"Motivation works temporarily" This is a great thing! The way you get through life is one day at a time. It sounds so cliché but that is how I've gotten through periods where life feels like it is just a monotonous grind. If things get worse then shorten the window and say "I just need to make it through 6 more hours of work" When things get really bad then you shorten it even more - "I just need to keep it together for the next 15 mins". Another method is to change up your routine. Drive home a different way, take a trip to some place new, eat something you have never tried. Opening yourself up to new experiences and cultures will broaden your mind. I hope this helps.
August 18th, 2018 1:03am
Turn your attention back to your strengths every time you are reminded of your weaknesses. Find a way to utilize your strengths in every situation that reminds you of your weaknesses. By doing so, you will remind yourself of the fact that you are not inadequate, that you are capable of taking what life throws at you, and that there is no need for you to give up. And after you succeed, don't forget to reward yourself for overcoming that situation. That will keep you motivated for the next time you face the same or similar situation. Most importantly, just keep livin'.
August 29th, 2018 1:20am
The best way to feel like you have a grip on your life is to create your definition of self-care. If it is utilized in a positive way such as reading, unplugging from social media, or music, you can start to rebuild your confidence and stamina against stress. You have to find out what works the best for you and make sure it's a TOP priority. Motivation can feel temporary if you are overworking yourself with responsibilities. The best way to focus even when you're unmotivated is to create a to-do list, take frequent small breaks. drink tea, and breathing techniques. to
September 13th, 2018 7:51pm
Personally, I think it would be best to talk to those who are close to you about it, think about what you could be if you were to try hard. I'd use that to get myself to at least try. If that doesn't work, then you can always promise yourself a reward for getting up and doing what you have to, like a treat, or maybe some freetime to just relax. It's also important not to pressure yourself, though because it's possible that the reason for you feeling this way may be because of pressure (possibly self induced) :)
September 14th, 2018 2:52am
This is a difficult place to be in, because the usual answer is just to find some reason to get up in the morning, or find something that you're passionate about. While these are good ideas, sometimes depressive feelings can overpower your motivation. I've found that not everything needs to be on such a large scale. Small things can change your mindset for the long-run. Even if it's as small as getting to pet the neighborhood dog, or hearing that one friend's laugh- every little thing helps. If you can first begin to see more worth in the smallest of joys, then you can go on to find bigger, better things to work for.
September 28th, 2018 10:55pm
People say that happiness is a choice, but I don't believe that's true. If you've ever felt hopeless, depressed, or if you've ever someone or something very important to you, then you know that happiness doesn't come that easily. Gratitude however is a choice we all can make every day. It's not easy, but it helps. Being thankful isn't always the same as feeling thankful, but you can be thankful even when you don't feel that way. Think of one thing every day, small things. Even something funny you remembered, or your favorite song, or finding extra cash in your pocket. You can think of something every day to be thankful for. Life is filled with good things all around us. When life gets very very hard and painful, and we struggle to see light or hope in our lives, we search for ways to fight for ourselves. Gratitude is one weapon against hopelessness. It helps us find the road back to peace.
October 11th, 2018 9:07pm
It sounds like you might just need to go to the doctor and tell them how you feel about your life right now. Perhaps the doctor can give you something to help make you feel better and get your life back on the right track. Life can be so demanding sometimes and we just need a little help to get our priorities back in line. It is nothing to be a shame of because every now and then we all get a little weak and need somebody to help us get back up again. Hang in there my friend and I hope things get much better for you.
October 13th, 2018 5:45am
I feel like taking time to myself and doing something that I enjoy helps a lot. Try and find a moment where you don't have anything going on and sit down and relax. Do something fun and focus on yourself. Read a book, watch a movie, maybe even just sit and stare at the wall. Just do something relaxing and calming that you enjoy. Personally I love reading. For me sitting down with a good book and listening to the sound of rain puts me in a good mood. Listening to calming music can also help a lot. You can always carry around music on your phone that calms you and when you're in a stressful time where you can't sit down and rest, plug in your music. 🍁
October 13th, 2018 4:20pm
What has kept you motivated and positive in the past . What are the good things in your life right now what could you not live without what makes you proud and happy to be alive . What things did you and do you enjoy in life foods activitys even if you can't do them right now. Grab a pen and paper take notes . For today not tomorrow one hour at a time look to completing small tasks around you that make you feel like you have achieved something .. look around now what would make you feel accomplished what have you not done that needs doing .. go do it you will feel so much better .. distract yourself wash the pots tidy a cupboard write that message to an old friend
October 13th, 2018 7:14pm
I think you should go to some group sessions with people similar to you. I'm hopeful that having people who you could relate to, and share stories with, could really help you find some hope. I know that things might be really hard right now, but having people close to you, who care for you, could be very helpful. As you go through these things, really think about your goals and what you need to focus on. Losing focus is okay, it's completely normal, but if you try your hardest, you can always push through and get back on the right track.
October 16th, 2018 4:46pm
I talk to someone to vent out all my heartaches and every worries that i have, i am lucky to have somoeone who feels the same so we took an oath to help each other. it really helps to have someone who understands how you feel, i am never anxious to tell him all my sensitivities and he listens dutifully, he is the reason why i am still fighting in my life. we share experiences and what we do is we talk about what we have learned about it. i am always grateful to have someone who is willing to listen.
October 18th, 2018 1:46am
Motivation is never a permanent state! And that's perfectly okay and normal everyone at any age or phase in life. Motivation is something we must feed constantly with things like new experiences, and new ideas, and new feelings! Just like how you can't have soup every day for every meal, you'd probably get pretty bored with that eventually. Our minds work in that same way. Try reading new things, watching videos that could make you think differently, or talk to someone you that seems to be in a pretty upbeat mood, or is achieving things you would like to achieve. When life feels stale, just remember that you are your own door way to everything and anything, get yourself around positive things, or things that make you think differently. Sometimes a change in our environment or a change in what we introduce to the mind is all we need.
November 14th, 2018 5:33am
I can’t always give advice but i can say hope comes from positivity, having good people in your life can always help through bad times. Spend your time doing things that are worthwhile and try to accomplish one small thing per day. Write a list of things you want to achieve or things you want to finish. Spend a day calmly reviewing and coming up with ideas on how to reorganise your life, whether the problem is money, relationships, school or work, and make sure you communicate with people and explain the situation to them, It can sometimes take the pressure off
November 14th, 2018 4:35pm
I understand the feeling that everything is messed up and the struggles of temporary motivation. One way to look towards the future is to make long-term goals. Then, make shorter-term goals, these should go out no more than 2 years out. Then, make short-term goals. This should be a series of goals that go about a year out but, each only lasts a month or so. Another thing to add to this is to write down daily accomplishments. This can be as big as large events and projects to smaller- but no less significant- activities like waking up, eating, getting dressed. Writing it all down helps to visualize the future, see how your present is aiding in this, and reflect on how you struggled or succeeded in the past.
November 18th, 2018 12:55pm
There comes a time when we all experience some form of hopelessness, some more than others. However, we have to remember that this is not the end and that life still goes on. We have to find happiness within ourselves before we confide in others. Write down your main problems, try to break them down and find the best solutions. If you are struggling with this you can always reach out to someone you can trust and has your best interest at heart. Just remember you are not alone and whatever it is, you got this. Do not compare yourself to others instead remind yourself of the the things that are going well for you.
November 29th, 2018 3:12pm
There are of course a lot of reasons a person may feel lost and hopeless about the future. Finding the reasons can be part of the solution, but even without knowing the reason, there can be helpful strategies. Try a gratitude journal - every day spend a few minutes writing on paper all the good things in your life you can be thankful for. Seek supportive relationships - we all need real friends (in person, not online) who can be with us through hard times. If you are a person with religious orientation, you can seek help from that direction. Professional counselors can also be very helpful.
January 26th, 2019 6:24pm
You should continue motivating yourself . All you need is a push to achieve your aim. Nothing is permanent everything requires a balance for which we need to keep going such as the bicycle. Which is the basic necessity in our life . When we keep on working towards our goal then and only then we can keep our self balanced by emotions and thoughts. This is only the best way to keep balancing our life bicycle. Have a faith in your own journey and take help of people who can supply you motivation without asking anything in return. This is what I feel is the best way to live your life peacefully with a motive.
March 2nd, 2019 4:20am
Life isn't an exact science, it's an adventure. Most people are seeking company, conversation, acceptance, love. But a life of work, commutes, cars, urban landscapes, provides very little of that especially now we are all on the internet and psychological meds, and ashamed of ourselves due to high beauty standards. Try to recognise what induces you to feel awful and if it's programmes on your streaming service or tv subscription complain or don't pay. Buy things that do. Swap channels. Say this makes me feel obsessive, bored, like joining another revolution and refuse. Switch channels, find friends, because loads of them need you too. And free yourself.
March 8th, 2019 5:51am
Just continue to look forward, have a goal. Not some short-term goal that's going to get completed and forgotten about with little self reward. A long term goal; one that just fills your life with meaning, whether it be a purposeful sense of fulfillment in your life or one that just brings you happiness. Your life will eventually sort itself out, so please do yourself a favor and check out some of the things 7cups has to deal with some of this chaos that has been dumped onto you. Otherwise there are always people here to listen and help you get through this tough time.
March 17th, 2019 1:10am
When I feel like everything is messed up, it often means I'm feeling totally overwhelmed, and like I need to fix everything right now. I find it helpful to write each thing that is on my mind down on a post-it note, and put each of them up on the wall. Doing this helps get the clutter out of my brain, and it also helps me understand exactly what I'm dealing with. Often, the problems seem smaller once they're all out of my head - and once I can see a visual representation of everything that's going on, I find it easier to figure out how to cope or fix things..
April 27th, 2019 3:49am
What do you like about yourself? What are your qualities? Write those down and don't give up. Be around people who make you feel comfortable and support you. Reach out, speak up to a trusted person of yours. I know it can be exhausting and it can really tear you down, but at the same time think about how it makes you stronger and use that to keep you going. Your life is messed up, are you just going to leave it like that? Take a close look and see why it's a mess, try to figure out what you could change. If you can't figure it out on your own, ask for help, talk to a trusted person.
June 16th, 2019 11:34am
Hmm. I understand what you're going through right now. I know how can life be a messed, but please be strong and dod't do anything that can harm you. Think of positive things and look on the brighter side, I know it's hard to do but when in a hard situation we just have to be strong and look for the brighter outcome. Everything will come to an end in no time. Just hold on, don't give up and continue to move forward even everything is a messed right now, just don't give up. You will get through this.
June 26th, 2019 6:22am
I understand how you feel. I was stuck in that position and I wanted to seek help to get out of it, and the way I got out was allowing my family and friends to help me. It’s scary to reach out to people when you feel like that, but when you do it’s so worthwhile in the end because it allows the people closest to you to help you and because of that, you become more confident in yourself and everything you want to achieve. To feel hopeful, know that no pain lasts for long everything will work out in the end.
July 4th, 2019 1:02pm
Find a purpose to keep going! Motivation works for as long as you allow it to. Things might be hard and messed up but that's a part of living, it wont be life if everything was easy. To stay hopeful, find something, anything that you're happy about and looking forward to and keep working towards that. Giving yourself a purpose through something that will make you happy is the best way to go, because when things are looking bad you can always look towards that one thing for a sense of hope. And once you practice being hopeful, that hopefulness will come naturally to you in everything else that you do.
August 16th, 2019 5:45pm
I'm finding that making small steps every day/week helps. Positive experiences, like having a nice conversation or solving a small problem, can help you feel more hopeful. An achievable routine everyday can be good, as you'd be achieving small things everyday and feeling more hopeful. If everything is messed up, then you can start with the smallest problems, and then maybe even break up the bigger problems into smaller, more achievable steps. It's nice to have things to look forward to, as well. It's also good to ask for help and support when you feel overwhelmed, so well done for doing that.
September 7th, 2019 7:13pm
Feeling hopeful means living in something that lies in the future. Waiting for something to happen takes away the power from the present moment, from living in the only "time" that exists, the present, where life unfolds. Every part of our lives unfolds in the present, not in the past which has gone and cannot be changed, not in the future that doesn't exist because when things happen, even the ones we hoped for, they manifest in the now, in the present. To bring balance and equanimity in your life, you've got to start not relying on self-motivation which, when isn't based on wisdom comes and goes like a winter storm but to live fully and completely in the present moment. When you wash your hands, when you drive, when you look at a tree or a flower, when you look at life passing in front of you on the road, the life made of busy people, people sitting on a bench eating an ice-cream, when you are utterly immersed in the way life unfolds, when you are completely aware, when your senses are completely awake and make you experience even the tiniest details of life, that's when you feel you resonate with the universe and everything around you and that abides inside of you.
September 8th, 2019 10:15am
Keeping healthy and fit can help enormous amounts with staying happy. Taking care of yourself can make you feel better about yourself. Eating healthy, regularly exercising and having generally good hygiene can add another layer of hopefulness to your life and can keep you motivated for longer than you may feel right now. It's also good to track your progress getting fitter to see how far you've come. Finding a hobby is another good way to feel hopeful. Finding something you are passionate about can help you feel accomplished once you have gotten better at it and it is a good way to spend your time having fun and meet new friends.
September 13th, 2019 1:28am
It's all about the mindset that's thinking about the issues. a mindset would say that it will be always like that and there is no escape. and another one will say that everything is temporary and try to focus on the good things and try to make the things that he can control better. So to accept the reality and try to fix small things led in the end to good results. To feel hopeful is to realize that it's all about time. do your best at the satge you are in and enjoy the rising journey. stay away from negative people and keep your mind clear from negative thoughts. surround yourself with supportive and lovely people and accept their advice.