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How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?

284 Answers
Last Updated: 04/27/2022 at 1:30pm
How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Kelly Brast, MA, LPC-S, LSOTP, CART

Licensed Professional Counselor

Life can be overwhelming sometimes. I specialize in helping people organize their thoughts, getting rid of the things holding them back, and finding a path to a better future.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 8th, 2017 7:53pm
Know your worth, and what you deserve! Also, think about what's best for you in the long run. No one has to tell you what's best for you, or what decisions to make. Be yourself, and know what choices are most appropriate for yourself!
Anonymous
April 9th, 2017 7:52am
Trusting your partner is the most important things so don't keep anything to yourself and ask him/her anything. If you trust each other it would be so much easier to overcome any problem
airreeekuh
April 12th, 2017 2:07pm
To stop overthinking things in a relationship, you need to sort out all of your thoughts with your partner because that's what being in a relationship means - knowing each other thoughts may they be good or bad and working through them together.
gracefulHope86
May 28th, 2017 8:29pm
Remember that often times the actions of another are their own insecurities and issues and not something to take personal. Remember that you can control your thoughts and actions, not another's and therefore, in time, whatever is going to happen will, and your reaction is the only thing you can control so until it is time to react, be calm and live your life remembering that you are a good person with good intentions.
DZhelper
June 2nd, 2017 9:07pm
Take some time for yourself. and Recognize when your thoughts are getting the best of you. Consciously stop yourself. The first step when you get that disturbing compulsive feeling of not being able to stop concentrating on someone else is to -STOP!- and if you are in the position to do so sit down, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths, letting the air slowly roll out of your mouth. Find a distraction. Yes when you are thinking too much about something, the best thing you can do is find something to distract you from your own thoughts. Try not to be alone or somewhere quiet. Get your boys and girls to head to town with you for a movie or some Frisbee. Go to the gym and go crazy on the new workout program you found on the internet. Bake a cake for a potluck with your girls or start up your computer for some Warcraft with your buddies.
beautifulturtle
June 8th, 2017 3:43pm
I feel like it's important to remember that you are totally not alone in overthinking relationships; it's something I think most people will have issues with at some point in their lives. I think it really roots back to trust and an open line of communication between you and the other person in question. If you can't talk about your stressors with your partner, then it's easy for things to get out of hand in your brain.
rinkuandriku
June 16th, 2017 5:31am
When your mind becomes muddled and races a mile a minute, try to step away from your thoughts and distract yourself. Try to make a habit of this and catch yourself whenever your thoughts come to consume you.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2017 9:11am
Overthinking in general can often be a difficult problem to control. However, you should try to remeber that the people you are in relationships with love you, or they are not worthy of your time.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2017 8:00am
Communication is key. Sit down with your significant other and just talk about things you both have concerns about. It really opens it up between you two and you can usually figure things out better in person.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2017 8:46pm
Talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Sometimes having assurance from your partner will help with how you think in a situation.
Kenton17
July 16th, 2017 8:13am
Take a moment to step back and realize everything is going to be alright. The key to a successful relationship is trust within each other.
Roshney
August 9th, 2017 5:01pm
maybe what i try is to dedicate myself to selflove and self care and doing the things that makes me feel better.. to think about my positive is wad i try and do.
Alley624
August 11th, 2017 12:53am
Go with the flow and talk to your partner. Look for the good instead of the bad . Communication is key
ClaudiaSpinach
September 4th, 2017 11:11am
do activities that increase your trust in your partner. Also, trust in yourself to be vulnerable to another person, to be in a relationship, to make the other person happy is also important
Kittmousie
October 27th, 2017 4:28pm
Communication is key. Considering my significant other does not have the same anxieties as myself, it takes strong communication for them to understand that my mind can race with unfound thoughts sometimes and that is just how I am. Sometimes it is controllable, but at least with communication my S.O. can anticipate or predict more easily my train of thoughts and help overcome them with me before I am overwhelmed.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 2:07pm
Be calm and straight headed when making serious decisions. Think things out and consider but don't stress over any ups and downs. Don't let yourself think bad thinks are always going to happen. Try and be positive and think in the moment outside of decision making.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 4:23pm
Sometimes while in a relationship, we tend to think about the consequences a lot, which usually hampers the relationship. Maybe, it will be better if we started to take things as they are, live in the present than worry about the future, and make sure that we respect the partner for who he or she is.
beenseendoneit
December 7th, 2017 12:11am
instead of thinking communicate ! Whatever it is you're worried about talk it over with you're partner, let them know what you're worried about in a calm and collected manner
JustASammy19
December 23rd, 2017 12:35am
When I notice I am overthinking I start with being mindful of that fact. Then I write down in short words what the thoughts are about. This makes it less all over the place and more manageable. Sometimes, this alone is already enough to get it out of my headspace. If not, I try to look at every thought individually. First objectively, then with emotion. Even if you don't work it out, it will feel more manageable. I try to stop within five minutes and continue the actual task at hand.
Anonymous
January 6th, 2018 12:20pm
If you are ever unsure in a relationship, sometimes you are best to just speak to your partner/ friend and clarify what it is that you are worrying about
Anonymous
January 6th, 2018 10:26pm
Try trusting your partner that can help. Sometimes we forget trust when we start to wonder who they are talking to or who they hang out with we worry about things more than we should. It is okay not to know everything about your partner!
silentbeauty98
January 14th, 2018 3:56am
Relationships are different experiences for different people. Some can glide through them on a day to day basis while some like to think things through. It is completely okay to sometimes think about stuff. However if it starts to hamper your relationship, try to talk with your partner. Most of the times overthinking comes from misunderstanding. Good communication is the key here. I hope it helps. Take care :)
Anonymous
January 24th, 2018 6:25pm
To stop overthinking things in a relationship, you gotta eliminate the negativeness in the relationship and be nice to each other.
SlowHealing
January 25th, 2018 8:50am
The best relationships are the ones that flow naturally. Take things one day at a time. Take things at face-value. Enjoy being with the person! Don't think about the what-if's, just enjoy the feeling of being in love.
JJill1
February 8th, 2018 3:00pm
Personally, I think its all about changing the way you think. If you start to overthink, try to combat it with a positive thought or something to counteract it. Like for example, "No, its okay, You know them and you trust them, I trust they will not cheat." We all have those far out thoughts once in a while, just reassure yourself :) We all need it once in a while!! You can also vent, sometimes just getting it all out can really help and you realize what your saying, how it is not accurate how you are thinking. :)
Anonymous
February 15th, 2018 4:39pm
Take a deep breath and remember it may not be the way things really are. Talk to your boy/girlfriend about it to clear things up and it will help
Elena2081
February 18th, 2018 2:34pm
Just take a moment with your partner and talk about it. And if there is something they don't agree with, then both of you should come to an answer that both of you are happy with.
BellaStorm17
February 22nd, 2018 5:57pm
By trusting our partner and our love completely,but not blindly.This will promote positivity,love and well being in any relationship.
beautifulDreamer33
March 1st, 2018 9:46pm
By focusing on positive things about yourself and improving them, build your confidence based on your beautifull parts of personality.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 1:55am
Learn to trust more and accept that you can’t have that person All to yourself . Yes he or she might have other friends he wants to talk and hang out with and that’s ok too!