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How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 03/26/2023 at 8:47am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
peachysunny
July 5th, 2015 8:39pm
get away from them if they are hurting you they should not be aloud to hurt you you deserve to be happy always
MissaAlyssa
July 8th, 2015 2:42am
Cut the ties with them, if they are hurting you it is best to avoid further communication with said person or it will only hurt you further
HisBestFriend1030
July 8th, 2015 9:14am
We can stop this by distancing ourselves. It's hard to say that distance is good because we usually relate it to loneliness etc. But if someone is hurting you when you are around their company then what goes to say that you don't feel lonely in that sense already? We can't control other peoples actions we just have to continue to be good people and forgive and don't let the hurt consume us.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 1:33pm
Just dont talk with them. It will make you sad. I have been in a situation like this and just stop talk with him/her.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 6:47pm
The only way you can stop them from hurting you is to stop caring what they think about you. And if it is someone you're in a. Relationship with, that is basis to leave and I suggest you do just that.
Lois01
July 8th, 2015 8:06pm
I am going thru this right now and have been going thru it for a long time. I have continued on with the relationships because they are family members and because it's been happening so many times and with so many of them. I do feel quite beat up over it and pray that one day everyone of them will start being nicer again as we all were when we were younger. It's an awful feeling.
sadi1994
July 8th, 2015 9:48pm
Whenever I faced this situation, I found that it helped me a lot when I distanced myself from such people. Because they were no longer around me, they couldn't hurt me by being dismissal about my feelings.
BobTheListener
July 9th, 2015 9:07am
I made sure that I shielded myself from their attacks. I changed my thoughts so that their words didn't hurt me. I made sure that whatever they said, I took it in so that it didn't hurt me a lot.
BatesBeth
July 9th, 2015 12:11pm
It's important to remember that people who don't care about your feelings & who treat you in a negative way are not the type of people you want to surround yourself with. Be polite & courteous, but don't feel like you have to open up to anyone you can't trust, and if someone consistently hurts you then distance yourself from them while you decide the best step forward.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 12:50am
Ignore them, stop making them a part of your life if you feel like they arrant doing any good kick em out
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 5:07am
Sometimes the best thing to do in this situation is to cut out the individuals that bringing you down. It's better to surround yourself with loving and supporting people
MathewTheBull
July 10th, 2015 7:15am
If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.
YourNotAlone27
July 11th, 2015 4:01am
You need to ignore them and get them out your life. Those are the type of people who deserve to be alone.
Penelope210
July 11th, 2015 5:42am
Try and take time away from them. Step back from the situation if they don't care about your feelings why are you putting so much effort in? Alternatively you could just tell them how they are making you feel.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2015 3:31pm
hurt them first, mug them off before they have chance to you, i know how hard it is ive been there, but youve gotta stay strong and realise he doesnt care so dont bother it will be so hard but it only gets easier
Anonymous
July 12th, 2015 5:52am
Don't take what they say personally. If someone doesn't care about your feelings, it is because something is happening in their life, not because something is wrong with you.
Haley622
July 12th, 2015 9:38pm
You can directly communicate to them what they may do that hurts you. They may not realize what hurts you alone, you may need to directly show them or tell them and help them learn to not do that.
Mel
July 15th, 2015 2:00pm
If a problem between two people can't be solve by themselves alone, it's usually a good idea to reach to other to help. A mediator could help you explain to the person hurting you how much it hurts you and your actual feelings. It isn't something bad to need help. It's also important to be able to identify when they are hurting us on purpose, no one deserves to be abused nor physically nor verbally and stepping out, knowing when to step out, of those situation, is really important.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 1:43am
by telling that person that their not worth your time, that you know to many people to hurt me because eventually someone will find out.
Redcat
July 23rd, 2015 5:36am
If someone doesn't care about your feelings then there's a very high chance that they won't care about the fact that you feel hurt, so there's probably not much you can do. It's possible that you may be mistaken and that in fact, this person may care about you and may be unaware that they're hurting your feelings, so in case of this scenario it may be a good idea to explain to the person how you feel and what you would like to change. After you have talked to the person give them a chance to prove that they care and if they don't then it may be wise to think about cutting this person out of your life or at least limiting contact with them.
Brittany96
July 23rd, 2015 12:32pm
If someone doesn't care about your feelings, and if explaining to them that they're hurting your feelings does not work, then it may be best to avoid them because they're not worth your time if they don't care about you. But if you can not avoid this person then I'd recommend to affirm yourself that the person who is hurting you is in the wrong and whatever they're saying or doing to you is not right. It shows more about who they are as a person than it does you. It's difficult to not be hurt by mean people, but if you can, I'd recommend thinking positive thoughts about yourself and trying not to dwell on this person who is hurting you, because that just leads to them hurting you even more.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 4:12pm
Find a way out, dont keep being around them knowing that they will continue to hurt you. get out!
hopefulLynx66
July 24th, 2015 3:08pm
Remove yourself from them. If they don't care about your feelings, they are not worthy of making you feel hurt, and you deserve better!
clariageorge
July 25th, 2015 5:43am
When in a scenario such as this speak to a person of authority within the community. They have no right to treat you in such manner. Additionally there are various references on 7cups which may be able to help you deal with this issue.
whimsicaldreamer
July 26th, 2015 5:59am
You can stop them from hurting you by distancing yourself from them. If you don't give people the power to hurt you, then they can't do anything.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2015 2:56pm
the simplest way is not to let them don't pay attention to what they are doing or saying as long as they are trying to upset you they are not in control unless you let them and all you have to do is remember that what they think of you doesn't matter
LondynRose
July 29th, 2015 8:57pm
Sometimes you have to know when to call it a day with people. If someone doesn't care about your feelings then they won't care if they hurt you. Focus on finding people that do care
Anonymous
July 30th, 2015 10:24pm
If you are positive the other person will only cause you harm, the best thing for you to do is walk away from the negativity and focus on the positive things in your life.
kittykat
July 31st, 2015 5:08am
If a person does not care about your feelings, then it sounds like they're a toxic presence to be around. The best thing to do would be to bring up your concerns to them and try to have an open and calm communication. However, if this isn't possible or if you've already tried this, and you know this person is committed to not changing, then you should try to distance yourself from them. This can be difficult in the case of family members or coworkers, and if you can't remove them from your life (or even keep them from playing such a large role in your life), it's best to work on having confidence in yourself. Remind yourself that this person is hurting you because they don't care, and that their opinions and hurtful words don't need to impact your sense of self.
destran
July 31st, 2015 4:44pm
I think in times where others aren't giving you the help and support you need, it's important for you do to everything for yourself that you can. Were you hoping your friend/partner might take you for a walk? Go out on the walk yourself! There are great benefits to doing things independently when you aren't feeling your best, so don't let a lack of support from others stop you from helping yourself.