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I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?

408 Answers
Last Updated: 01/17/2020 at 2:44pm
I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice


I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
December 17th, 2015 4:44am
Yeah its natural to feel this way because you were emotionally attached to that person. Its okay you'll get over him/her eventually
December 17th, 2015 7:33am
Your feelings are valid. There is no right or wrong way you should feel able any situation. Your ex was someone who played a large role in your life. It's perfectly okay to still love him or her.
December 17th, 2015 1:31pm
It depends . If that one person kept you happy then surly yes .. but now as he left you or you left him .. you shouldnt .. just take it as he/she never deserved you
December 17th, 2015 6:06pm
You can feel any way you choose. .especially when it comes to love. Love is difficult to overcome--don't be afraid to own that emotion, but don't allow it to prevent you from moving forward. Learn from it, grow from it....make your next love even stronger based on this experience
December 17th, 2015 9:31pm
its normal to still have feelings for someone you've spent a lot of time with. keeping busy could help
December 17th, 2015 10:28pm
Almost everyone will still love their ex after they break up. It's completely normal and nothing to worry about. It will take a while to get over your ex but I can't say how long because it really depends and it varies a lot. But don't worry if you still love your ex.
December 18th, 2015 1:43am
We never fully let go of the people we once loved and feelings will always linger around, it is perfectly fine to feel that way but you have to ask yourself if it is holding you back from moving on or not and try to work from there.
December 18th, 2015 8:05am
It is very difficult to move on from people we are very comfortable woth...its perfectly understandable...
December 18th, 2015 11:49am
Its super common to feel this way. You were very close to one another and actually had a great relationship. It is a good idea to surround yourself with things that make you happy - friends, family, books, tv when trying to move on.
December 18th, 2015 8:44pm
If you once loved someone they will always have a special place in your heart. It takes time to get over someone and there's no general amount known. Each relationship is different and love doesn't go away because we want it to. We have to go through the healing process.
December 18th, 2015 11:06pm
It is a common feeling that many people have after breakups, so do not feel weird! Do you feel you miss your ex or are you feeling that you still love your ex?
December 19th, 2015 6:44am
Loving your ex isn't wrong your feelings aren't wrong but, it can be confusing especially if you don't now the reason they are your ex. The best thing I can say is it's something you need to sit down with yourself and really think about and then you be the judge of if you should love them or not.
December 19th, 2015 8:06am
Moving on is really hard. Yes, we've all been there at some point in our lives especially if our exes had made beautiful changes in our lives that are just too hard to forget. But please don't confuse those feelings for love, it might have just been fragments of the feelings left after all.
December 19th, 2015 1:04pm
Yes it is normal to feel this way, but you also need to evaluate why you broke up. And think on it.
December 19th, 2015 6:54pm
Well if he treats you well and there isn't anybody else in the picture i dont see why not. I broke up with my current boyfriend for another man and it made me realise that i was meant to be with him and i needed to be away from him to realise this
December 19th, 2015 8:26pm
Yes, up to a point. The feelings that you are feeling now are just the echo of the relationship you were having earlier. You need to allow yourself to continue on your way.
December 20th, 2015 7:32am
It is perfectly normal to still love your ex lover, especially if the relationship had been going on for a long time. We are all human beings, and we all have feelings.
December 20th, 2015 8:10am
I think it only normal that you love your ex. Because regardless of how much they harmed or cared for you, you can not tell the story that is your life without acknowledging them. As for whether you "should feel this way" I don't think that's a good question. Because I can't tell you how you should or should not feel. The same way you can't tell a tree how it should or should not grow. Yet, they tend to grow in the direction of sunlight. Similarly, we grow in the direction that brings us warmth. Emotion is natural, everyone responds in their own way. Every emotion you experience is a natural one because that's what life is. A collection of experiences, each one characterized by an emotion. How you act on those emotions is what defines you.
December 20th, 2015 2:27pm
I think it's very natural to still love an ex depending on how long ago you've broken up or how things ended. Reflect on why the relationship ended and if he/she still had the qualities that made you love them. As soon as you can come to terms with that you can work on trying to move on and accept your break up. You will come to terms with the fact that there are many other great people out there too!
December 20th, 2015 6:33pm
Yes, you should. Because there is never any "should" with feelings. Feelings are what they are, and they "should" never be judged as good, bad or anything else. They need a voice, they need to be heard, but they don't necessarily need to be acted upon. So accept the fact you still love this person, since love is a good thing. It doesn't prevent you from having a relationship with someone else.
December 20th, 2015 9:16pm
It's absolutely normal to feel that way. A few years ago, I was deeply in love with my ex. Even after we broke up. But then I suddenly moved on. I found someone better for me and he was a lot better than my ex. Now, my ex still loves me and I'm over it :).
December 22nd, 2015 2:58am
It is normal to feel this way but then again you shouldn't feel this way after a while. You should be awesome.
December 23rd, 2015 12:38pm
It is normal to still be in love with your ex, a relationship ends with words but love does not always and It can be very hard to forget that person so it may take a while but its okay :) Although if you are sure it is really over you should concern now about letting go and moving on otherwhise you might get hurt.
December 23rd, 2015 3:47pm
It's normal for some people. But if you still do love your ex, then try to talk to him, and ask him whether he still feels the same or not. If he doesn't, make some effort to get him back. Try to make him remember the time and memories you spent together. If not, you will lose him someday.
December 23rd, 2015 6:52pm
After you break up with someone the first month is maybe the hardest, and also there are left out emotions you need to clear up, sure every time you look at your ex you feel something inside you like maybe hope or a thought maybe there was a way to end it differently. But you should know that in most situations breaking up was the best idea. So most of the time it isn't love it is just a mix up of emotions you experienced while being in the relationship.
December 23rd, 2015 8:50pm
Just because a relationship ends ,it doesn't mean the love you feel fades away all of a sudden. Also you can love someone and at the same time know that the relationship can't work. There really is no right or wrong way to feel.
December 23rd, 2015 10:09pm
Being in love with an ex can be quite traumatic. You have all the right to feel affection and care for the person.. Maybe it's a good idea to focus on why things did not work out and what you learnt from it. There is no sure shot way to ensure that you will stop loving them completely. Keep the feelings, just don't act on them without thinking..
December 23rd, 2015 11:19pm
You're totally entitled to feel this way. When you love someone and you break up, these feelings don't just go away. You will figure things out though - whether you get back together or whether you meet someone else, I hope you heal soon.
December 24th, 2015 8:55am
well it's normal to feel that way i mean you have spent alot of time with him/her so these feelings wown't just go away like that you need time to get over him
December 24th, 2015 5:08pm
It's okay. Love is a thing you can't control. But don't let get in love to heavy, you can regret that later.