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I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?

415 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2022 at 3:04pm
I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
rainbug
March 26th, 2016 11:20am
Sometimes we can't help the way we feel, how you manage it, however, is different. You will learn to let go, but suppressing your feelings may not help, let yourself feel it, but don't act on it.
MeanBuster
March 24th, 2016 9:54am
Very much so. If you were abused, you should make sure you not keep the bad and good sides separate. This will aid in full determination of if you love them.
incarnadinepetals
March 18th, 2016 9:55pm
It is completely normal to still have feelings for your ex. It will take time, but eventually, everyone gets over their past relationships and moves on to better things
JK8287
March 18th, 2016 8:25am
Well I guess you should since you do! I think a major hangup for good people is that they're constantly beating themselves up over perceived things they're doing wrong. But on a more practical level, you might look up the new age process cord-cutting.
Akatsuya
March 13th, 2016 8:35am
You can't help the way you feel, but it is best to try and stay awayif they really or not interested or they treated you badly.
Anonymous
February 18th, 2016 9:12pm
it happens,but remember...the ones we need doesn't always need us......maybe they want us but that's not enough.always look at a bad break up and look at all the wrongs that u were bearing and learn from them
SoothingtheSoul
February 10th, 2016 4:02pm
I feel like you'll always feel love towards someone id you've loved them in the past. sometimes you just need to realize that it didn't work out for a reason, and that you can love someone without being with them. it's possible to feel love for someone but not have a relationship with them.
whitewhalee
February 10th, 2016 1:04am
To me it all depends on how you broke up and your ex personality. It happens to feel that way since the relationship is a long term established communication and getting used to someone is not easy to be forgotten by days and weeks. to me , it's normal to still love your ex if you haven't experienced a terrible and disrespectful breakup, or Whatever else that ruins the strong bonds between two persons.
BrennanH
February 8th, 2016 2:32am
Its perfectly normal to feel this way its part of being human. It takes time to get over relationships.
Anonymous
February 6th, 2016 11:17pm
Is love a bad thing? Do you feel like you should still feel this way about your ex? Many people still harbor feelings for an ex after the relationship has ended; you are definitely not alone. Have you had friends or heard of other people have feelings for their ex after a break up? Have you thought about talking to them or a listener on here about it? Do you remember though, the reasons for why things didn't work with your ex? Do you remember what you loved about your ex? Remembering all of that, can you put together a list of things that you want in a relationship/partner? Just because a relationship didn't work out doesn't mean you absolutely have to stop loving the other person or learning from what happened between you two. Sometimes letting go is a great act of love in itself both for you and the other person even though it may hurt.
HappyFrogger998
February 4th, 2016 4:09am
It makes sense that if you cared intensely for someone, that just because you break up doesn't mean the feelings will suddenly go away. You shared a lot of good memories and while maybe you didn't work as a couple it's okay to still love them.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 4:22pm
I think it is for a while. You need to take time to heal and redefine yourself a long relationship. Focus on your work friends and family. It gets easier over time. When you least expect it you'll realize you haven't even though of your ex in a long while. 😃
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 3:28pm
It's perfectly normal to still have feelings for your ex especially if they broke up with you but even if you broke up with them it's still normal
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 6:23pm
yes, because if you were in love with your ex like I was you will always have feelings for that one person no matter what..
chamomilewizard
January 6th, 2016 2:24am
There is no "should" in the world of feelings and romance. There is no right or wrong, so don't beat yourself up over that. It's okay if you feel this way, and it is a very common feeling as well!
mada
December 24th, 2015 7:05pm
love once felt stays with us for ever. its not a mistake to feel so but what matters is that we must not forget to move on. just remember that in life you can always find better things. so why stick with the old ones.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 5:11am
It's normal to still love someone you were once romantically involved with. Do you feel you should still love your ex? depending on how long the relationship lasted , and how the relationship ended may take a significant role with influencing your current feelings . Bottom line is , it's completely normal to still care for and love your ex.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 8:41am
Personally I still love a person who was in my life almost two years ago but eventually I had to move on. Yes I know that person still cares but we both had to go our separate ways. It's not easy to move on, you can still love them and care about them, but give someone else the ability to be able to care for you.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2015 12:39pm
If you've truly loved someone, it'll take time for the feelings to fade. And for some, they never will. There's nothing wrong with this, you can't help how you feel.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2015 3:24pm
This is a sign that true love never goes away, you love your ex because you miss the memories you had together during how long you were together, feel proud because a small amount of people feel this way:)
SaraMichelle
December 31st, 2015 9:12pm
That is completely okay! Sometimes you can still love each other but can't be together because maybe the time isn't right or something else.
MichelleBlings
January 1st, 2016 7:08am
Absolutely! In some ways you never stop loving someone you shared a peroid of your life with. I feel that is even stronger when there are children involved. I am.divorced. my husband left me for another woman. It took me 10 years to recover and stop loving and hurting. Love is a good thing. Its better than hate. However you.also deserve to be loved in return. Care for him but love yourself more.
NewRomantic677
January 3rd, 2016 11:17am
I've always believed that there aren't any rights or wrongs when it comes to feelings- that being said, you've got to know what's good for you and what's bad for you. Some emotions, while normal, may need to be controlled/terminated because they may hurt you. Still loving your Ex after a breakup is normal- we all take time to recover from ANYTHING, and especially with breakups feeling this way is fine. However, if you're planning on moving on (I hope you are) you should step forward- acknowledging these feelings are a good start, but now you've gotta make sure they aren't an obstacle to your full recovery. All the best! :D ❤
musicalDew34
January 7th, 2016 7:27pm
Its okay to be in love with your ex but to a certain extent..we must never forget to love those people too who are around us and who love us
mike251
January 13th, 2016 5:23pm
It is normal. Time is the only thing that will heal yourself. I had a terrible traumatic breakup, and it took me years to overcome it. I would not dwell on loving an ex too much, because with time that will pass.
Michelle0621
January 9th, 2016 2:10pm
You can still love her, love is not illegal, sometimes we break up with someone we love, but love still remains, we can't control our feelings for them, but we can try to make ourselves feel better.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2016 8:51am
Yes i thinks a normal feeling after a breakup specially if you didnt want to breakup in the first place
Anonymous
January 7th, 2016 7:31am
It is 100% okay to still love your ex. You showed someone else a side no one else has gotten to see. You got to be 100% yourself with them. There were so many deep and amazing moments. Overall, it's okay to miss them and still love them.
GroovySoul
- Expert in Breakups
January 6th, 2016 7:09pm
It's completely normal to feel that way after spending so much time with someone who you had deep feelings about. And frankly, you'll probably feel this way for a while but don't worry, the feelings will subside, but depending on how to relationship was, the feeling might always be there, lingering in the back of your mind but like I said before, it's normal.
sweetDay98
December 23rd, 2015 10:09pm
Being in love with an ex can be quite traumatic. You have all the right to feel affection and care for the person.. Maybe it's a good idea to focus on why things did not work out and what you learnt from it. There is no sure shot way to ensure that you will stop loving them completely. Keep the feelings, just don't act on them without thinking..