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I think I have depression and I want to tell my parents but my brother recently got diagnosed so I feel like they would think that I'm just trying to get attention. What do I do?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 05/02/2022 at 7:13pm
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
coffeeprincess
June 22nd, 2016 2:43am
You deserve love and support for your depression, equally as much as your brother does. It's stressful to feel like you're stirring up drama or being a burden on your parents, but the bottom line is that you need help. You wouldn't secretly hobble around on a broken leg because your brother recently broke his leg. Depression is no different. I hope you and your brother are able to support each other through your journeys.
TeaGreen621
June 26th, 2016 6:41pm
If you are uncomfortable or afraid to talk to your parents, try talking to your brother about it. He understands what it feels like and can help you understand why you are feeling that way and how to make it better. Also, when you are ready to tell your parents, you will have your brother's support, which makes dealing with depression (and admitting you have depression) easier. I hope this helps!
Anonymous
September 1st, 2016 6:17am
I think it would be a good idea to tell them, my brother also got diagnosed with depression and ended up feeling really guilty that i felt this way, but the more I held it in the worst it got. It got to a point were I was getting suicidal thoughts daily and I felt like I had no one to tell. Not telling anyone, especially your parents won't help you get better. What needs to be the most important to you right now needs to be your own mental wellbeing. That doesn't mean abandon you brother but be mindful of your mental state and put yourself first.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2020 6:08pm
It is always best to tell them, even if you have your doubts, they would want to know. It's never best to hide things, not only may it hurt others around you but it may also hurt yourself not talking to anyone. If you don't want to talk to your parents straight away you can always mention it with other people you trust. The best thing to do is to do what you think is right, nobody can tell you what to do because it's your own unique situation. What I may think is best might be different to what you think is best, so it's up to you to decide.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 9:21am
Well, depression has also been linked to genetics, so that would be a valid point to bring up when talking to them. And since they allowed your brother to get diagnosed and treated, they obviously acknowledge it's a problem; one big problem already eliminated. Explain to them exactly how you're feeling; are you feeling down, up and down, suicidal, irritable, etc. They may even notice the symptoms but haven't made the connection. Chances are they won't brush it off; depression is a really serious thing, they'll want to make sure you're alright before they think it's an attention stunt. Best of luck to you
Alia3475
July 5th, 2017 11:39am
Be specific about what symptoms you are having. Whether it's sadness, lethargy, lack of interest in things you used to enjoy. It may be depression, but that is ultimately up to a doctor to decide. If you are specific about what you're struggling with, it gives your parents an opportunity to help or get you help. It's very common for depression to affect multiple family members, so it is more likely a sibling would have it than not.
Amberbird
May 9th, 2020 9:39pm
Having the mental health talk with parents is not always an easy thing to do. Personally, it was one of the things I struggled with the most, because I was so worried about how they were going to react, but was pleasantly surprised by how well they took it. What was helpful in my case was that I sat them down and had an honest and genuine conversation about it. And lesson learnt: even people we think we know really well can surprise us too:) It'll be good to catch them at a time when you guys are alone, when they have time to be focused and not disrupted, so they can listen to you attentively. Would it help by letting them know about both your depression and also your concern ? i.e. why you think they might respond that way, but how it's not the case. If you feel comfortable, what about explaining to your parents that you've been going through a difficult time, and why you think you have depression? Parents would want the best for us, and they care. Due to the circumstances, it might seem they aren't willing to focus on you, but why not give them a chance?:) and let them hear what you really think. and no matter what, please remember that your experiences and feelings are valid regardless of what they say, and there are platforms and resources that you can look for for help. All the best!
ProtagonistThomas
June 13th, 2018 11:25pm
I think you should talk to your brother a bit first because he was already diagnosed, ask him about his symptoms see the similarities, if you believe you have it, mention to your parents that you feel like you have some of the same problems your brother has
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 12:04am
If you think you have depression, tell your parents. Don't worry about what they have to say, just tell them that you think you might be developing depression, and that you're saying it genuinely and not for attention.
Millichidulinas
July 13th, 2016 8:50am
Say to them that you think to have the same thing like your brother and explain why do you think this. Be sincere and they will understand you.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2016 9:24pm
Tell them exactly what you're feeling, and they'll understand. They're your parents, they'll help you get the support you need. :)
AJ62
June 19th, 2019 6:20am
I've been through something similar. My siblings also were diagnosed with depression and later I thought I was too. I was right where you were and scared to tell them in fear of being a disappointment to them and being more of a burden. This really set me back. Don't make my same mistake. Reach out to them and show them that you are willing to seek help with it. Once I did, my parents were very understanding and were willing to help me get better. Don't be afraid to reach out to loved ones. You'd be surprised at how willing they are to help you.
Solome24
December 10th, 2020 4:21am
I'm so sorry that you may have depression, and that your brother has been diagnosed. If you think you have depression, there's a good chance you do have it as you are the best judge of yourself. However, it might be helpful to confide in someone else other than your parents that you trust. Can you confide in your brother, friend, or school counselor? Perhaps your brother can help you be evaluated by his doctor? It may be easier to tell your parents if you have something to start off saying - meaning you can start off by saying, "I've spoken with [my brother, etc.] and I think I may have depression.." or if you become diagnosed or a counselor agrees with you, you can mention that as well.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 10:31pm
I would tell them how you feel about the situation but take some tests first to make you that you are pretty certain you may suffer depression
Anonymous
July 8th, 2016 6:47pm
You should sit them down and explain how you feel. It could be something that runs in the family so i'm sure they're willing to listen
UntilThen
June 30th, 2016 12:16am
Try to talk to your brother about it. He will be able to help you figure out if what you're experiencing is depression and might even help you figure out how to talk to your parents.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2016 7:03am
I understand how you feel. You probably don't want to feel like a burden to your family because you feel like they have their hands full with your brother. If I were in your shoes, I would try to talk to one of my parents. Have you considered maybe telling a friend if you can't your parents?
StrangeBirdLife17
July 1st, 2016 6:19am
Your health is the most important thing, I waited because my mother was diagnosed, and I ended up being hospitalized for waiting too long, almost having lost my life. I understand it may feel difficult and confusing, but like I said, your mental health is most important.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2016 4:33am
Assure them to trust you. Go to them and explain it to them that you aren't messing around. That you really need help. Good parents will believe you.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2018 2:44am
It might be best to reach out to your parents if you truly feel that you may have depression. It's important that you take care of yourself first, specially when you suspect you might be having this.
AJmacklam
August 11th, 2018 4:53pm
Talk to your brother, for me its like getting stamped or labelled by doctors and that made me feel isolated, by talking with him you may be able to help each other and overcome it. I hope you do
Caitlin7cups
August 9th, 2018 6:26am
talk to your brother too, communication is key. By talking you're opening new opportunities and new parts of your relationships with your family. Speak to your parents, for your safety. It will all work out okay :)
GratefulYogi
August 5th, 2018 5:29pm
Oh, dear. As someone whose sibling also got diagnosed with depression, I can relate. I hid my feelings for a very long time, until I reached a breakdown point. If you think you have depression, it's better not to ignore the symptoms. I suggest you talk to your parents about this. You're not alone, and depression is definitely not for attention. Your mental health and well-being are very important!
RumpleSteeleSkin
July 21st, 2018 9:32pm
Communicate with your parents. Just cause your brother has depression doesn't mean you don't. Share on why you feel you are going through depression. If you feel you can't verbally talk with them, write a letter to them. Good luck!
brightRose27
July 19th, 2018 10:47pm
I'm sure your parents wouldn't think about you, they are here to listen and help you. They would feel better knowing they have supported you when you needed it the most.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 4:18am
You could bring up the subject and specify your worries about their reactions. It may help to tell them beforehand that you are worried about them thinking you are attention seeking.
Charlie40
July 5th, 2018 6:47pm
That is a hard situation to be in. I find it admirable that you are asking the question here, that shows you are putting your family first, even though it may make it harder for you. The answer depends how your parents are coping with your brother being diagnosed, how you feel they would feel if you didn’t tell them. And the answer to that may not be obvious right now for you. Regardless what you decide, to be wondering about whether you may be suffering depression and sharing it here is a good thing, it means you are not ignoring signs, it means you want to do something to get better I had depression for years without my parents knowing, I hid it, because I felt it would have made my dad too sad and my mum would have shrugged and not done anything. I still got somewhere and got better eventually. It doesn’t mean you should or shouldn’t tell them, but I am saying, meanwhile, there is support elsewhere, including listeners here at 7cups who can try to explore the issue with you, as well as supporting you generally: the main thing is to find support and not be alone working through this. Don't hesitate to chat with listeners, it you feel it will help you, if you want to find out more about how to get though this.
wonderfulStrawberry19
July 8th, 2018 7:33am
Tell them, they will understand, especially if your brother is going through it too. Maybe talk with your brother too and ask him how he told them. Ask for help to your friends, maybe they have good suggestions for you.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2018 5:12am
I've actually been in the exact same position with my older sister. Just know that it can be in your genes. Tell them it's a real problem you have and since they understand what your brother is going through, they'll be more kind and accepting.
LilNatureNymph
July 5th, 2018 8:35am
First and foremost, be honest both with yourself and your parents. Depression isn't easy, and it's uncomfortable. But remember that you need to take care of you.