Is it normal to not want to get better?

209 Answers.
Last Updated: 06/17/2018 at 1:20pm
Top Rated Answer
kaitykait
July 19th, 2016 6:37am
Yes it's completely normal. When you are depressed for a long period of time, you may get comfortable and it may feel easier to just stay sad because recovery seems too difficult. That is normal, however if you're able to talk to a therapist or counselor about that it would be very beneficial.
Newest Answer
Lavkitten
June 17th, 2018 1:20pm
It is absolutely normal. Mental illness can be incredibly scary for more than just what you see on the surface. After you've had anxiety or depression for a long time, you can forget what life was like before you had it. This makes it easy to worry about that you don't know who you are without being depressed, or without being anxious. The key thing to remember is that by reaching out for help, you aren't changing who you are, you're just learning to become a better version of yourself. A you who's less afraid to engage, and has more energy to do the things that you like.

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Top Rated Answers
Owen27
July 15th, 2016 10:22pm
I have felt the same. Sometimes I found that being down only made me want to stay down and listen to sad music. Also people's expectations of you can weigh heavy and having an excuse to not feel as pressured can be comforting. Change is also scary and if you've experienced things that has made you have a consistent mood, lifting yourself up could make you feel like you're lying to yourself.
themoreyoulook
September 7th, 2016 5:18pm
It is actually normal to not want to get better! First of all, your natural state has been one of unease and despair, and it's natural that you're comforted by this - it's what you've known for so long, and we stay in places we find familiar. Another reason you may wish to stay where you are might be the fear of relapsing after you're getting better; falling back into a dark hole once you're in the sun is definitely scary and frustrating, so wouldn't it be better to avoid the disappointment? Similarly, you may believe that you'll never be happy, no matter what you do, so why even attempt to get better? But through it all you have to remember that just like the rain always passes and the sun always comes out, so will your sadness pass and happiness emerge - if you allow it. At the same time you have to accept that nothing is permanent, and relapses are normal. Finally, you have to step outside of your comfort zone - because only after you leave this can you begin to grow :)
ChocoholicMouse
June 22nd, 2018 6:02pm
Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.
RhinocerosWings
July 20th, 2016 8:14pm
It's completely understandable to not want to get better. This is all you know. It's all you HAVE known. Change is frightening. But it will be ok in the end. If it's not ok yet, it's not the end yet.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 2:09pm
Is it entirely normal to have trouble exercising motivation, telling yourself you will never get better, having personal speech problems. But there is solutions to this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGuZVuUBeiQ (cool video I recommend watching), stop telling yourself you are stupid and pathetic, stop telling yourself you can't do anything, stop telling yourself it is impossible to change, because you are wonderful and amazing!
Random28
September 8th, 2016 8:26am
I believe we all want to feel better, on some level at least. It's just that there are a lot of things which can prevent a person from doing anything to make themeselves feel better or even want to put an effort in it. It feels normal to not want to get better because sometimes you've been wanting to feel better for so long, and it feels like nothing you do is working, and you start to feel like that wanting itself is just causing you more pain, that it would easier to just give up. Getting better is hard. When you're bad for so long, you're used to it and getting better is something stranger and somehow terrifying. However, things which feel normal doesn't mean they're good for us. Getting better is hard, because it's something good. Every good thing in life is hard to reach after all; the hardest the challenge, the better the result. Though it's hard and the easier way seems vetter, getting better is something that we all deserve.
Char1otte
January 5th, 2018 3:34pm
Sometimes, the thought of feeling ‘better' can raise many emotions and feelings. Feeling ‘better’ may be daunting for some, especially when one has experienced a negative sense of well-being for a long period of time. Being in a negative state of mind, depressed, anxious etc. can sometimes a norm, a comfort, one’s identity, and by feeling ‘better’ this is all taken away. Therefore, it is completely understandable to sometimes have the thought of not wanting to feel ‘better’. I can re-assure you, you will not be alone with this thought!! However, with support, steps, and goals in place feeling ‘better’ can be a very safe and rewarding process. A process that everyone can achieve. I wish you the best of luck with the path ahead of you. Please remember, 7cups is here to support you!
LondynRose
July 10th, 2016 3:10pm
It is normal not to want to get better. When you have been unwell for a while you end up getting used to that way of life and it feels safe. The fear of the unknown makes us want to stay in our comfort zone.
listeningsinger1001
July 11th, 2016 4:07am
Yes. Yes it is. Sometimes you need to have a piece of you locked away hidden in sight that only you know about. And that is when you have it. And maybe that part of you will never be better. But it will always be there for you to look at and to have to help you when you do want to be better again.
pie
July 16th, 2016 5:56am
Normal, yes. But is it healthy? No. Many people feel comfortable in a dark place because they've been there for so long, they are afraid of happiness, etc. If you're feeling like this, though, there is still hope and you CAN get better with perseverance.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:35pm
Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. Humans are creatures of habit. It seems you have got stuck in a stagnation habit. You may have become comfortable being stagnant and you don't want to get better because of this.
coolvibes
August 10th, 2016 9:22pm
with the idea of getting better comes changes and that can trigger the fear of expectations and possibly even failure. Getting healthier is not so, black and white. Itrhink getting healthy means accepting every aspect of one's self. The strong and vulnerable characteristics everyone hold i n their personality. getting healthy does not mean you won't ever revisit the more vulnerable side to yourself again it just means you can navigate that moment more effectively.
sereneDreamer45
September 3rd, 2016 11:44am
Yes, that's the biggest barrier to recover. You lose the motivation to get better. You convince yourself that you deserve to feel this way.(you don't ) you get so used to the way you're feeling that you forget who you were without you're illness/sadness. You feel like you won't be the same. I promise, if you can find the motivation to get better, you will do it eventually and you will still be the same person, only you'll have so many more opportunities to show off who you are. ❤
SpreadHopelikeFire
September 9th, 2016 10:01pm
Yeah, it is. Don't you worry about that thought. "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness" - it's a true statement.
Anonymous
September 29th, 2017 6:55pm
It's definitely normal but isn't the best idea. After some time of getting used to a certain lifestyle or mindest it becomes familiar, "safe" or easy. It's understand that you would choose something you know, something that feels safe, rather than trying to get betting and getting into new things or trying change. Sometimes staying in the safe zone is a poor choice regarding to how successful or happy you can truly be. Really think about, it's definitely up to you but sometimes what scares you the most is probably the better decision.
BurningEmber
July 10th, 2016 8:42am
Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. It is considered learned helplessness. You are used to where you are and you know nothing else and you really don't want to make another change.
Millichidulinas
July 13th, 2016 12:19pm
No that's not "normal" and not a good thing. You need to have a professional help, I think.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 4:06pm
7 cups of tea is a very nice platform to express our feelings to those who cares.Love you seven cups
neonstars1881
July 13th, 2016 6:57pm
Yes it normal. We like to hold onto our unhealthy ways. We don't want to get out of our comfort zones. Getting better means changing,and changing is hard.
Blynng
July 13th, 2016 10:01pm
It is rather common for people to not want to get better, actually. Our minds and our bodies are structured in such a way that they are accustomed to habits. After a while, the idea of trying to get better and failing to get better becomes scarier than not trying at all. This is a sense of anxiety that a lot of people feel when it comes to the idea of hope; hope is a very scary thing to have! Sometimes, though, we have to walk the steps of what we know we need, and not what we want to need.
orangerosess
August 12th, 2016 8:44am
It is completely normal. I have dealt with that as well. Sometimes we feel we need to be punished or we may fear change. Sometimes we just don't know what it feels like to be happy. Maybe it's none of those things and it's a mystery for you to discover.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2016 2:52am
Sure! A lot of people, especially people who are struggling with long-term illness or anguish go back-and-forth in their will and motivation to improve their well-being. Persevering is hard, even if you have the tools to get by with. We are human and we are each very different with different strengths and weaknesses, and comparing our lives to each others to determine a normality is just not fair to anyone. Normal is anything but, and every individual has a different definition of what normal means to them. How do you define 'normal'? Looking further into yourself for clues as to who you are can help you grow into yourself in a more natural way without feeling as though it's being forced. Why do you think you don't want to get better? Do you consistently not want to get better? When was the last time you wanted to get better, and how did you feel then? How do you feel when you imagine yourself 'better'? Why do you feel that way? Remember, because we are individuals it is okay for us to 'get better' at our own pace, and that may mean taking a break from trying to be better now and then too if that's what is needed. Good luck soul-searching and good on you for reaching out and asking such a great question.
TaranWanderer
April 19th, 2017 6:14pm
It can be very normal! When we have been a certain way or gone through something for a long enough time, it becomes the every-day way of life. And even if it's not good for us, it's comfortable because it's familiar. It also takes time to want to get better, sometimes our bad situation/habits is doing a service for us in some for or other, and to give that up in order to "get better" means changing an important part of your life.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2018 2:53am
Not wanting to get better can be caused by several reasons, all of which are completely valid. Once you get used to a certain situation or feeling a certain way, you can become accustomed to it, and although it might not be an enjoyable feeling, it can be comfortable to you because that's what you know. Change can be scary, because what you're used to will be different now, and there can be uncertainty about what things will be like in the future.
BeTheChangeYouWant
April 26th, 2018 9:09pm
It is easier to accept what we feel is normal even if it is awful, than risk the challenge of change
Vivian4
May 2nd, 2018 8:11pm
Yes , it is completely normal cause benefits of not getting better are still great gains. You can ask yourself what you would miss or what would you loose if I’d get better.
Melissame
May 26th, 2018 7:55pm
Some people are desperate to get better while sometimes people are more comfortable with how things are and dislike change or maybe they think it will be too hard or they are scared of change or just unsure. These feelings are normal and it is your choice. Its important to consider all options and decide which one is best for your health and wellbeing.
Recent Answers
soothewaters
June 1st, 2018 12:11pm
In general, it is important to see, that most of psychological problems do not only have dysfuctional elements to them, but also functional elements. For example, being depressed might encourage people important to us, to care for us. Avoiding situations due to anxiety might keep us from stressful moments. Due to the fact that most forms of "not feeling well" have some rewarding or stabilizing elements to them, it is understandable to some degree, when people say that a part of them "does not want to get better". However, it is essential to note that the positive consequences of certain psychological issues are usually short term - and they come with negative long term consequences. In the example above, your boyfriend might treat you more carefully or care for you if you are depressed (Positive short-term consequence). However, the constant pressure on the relationship due to the depressed mood might lead to arguments or a break-up as well (long-term negative consequences). Before you are sure, if you really do not want to get better, it is important to carefully evaluate the short term and long term consequences of your current situation. Finally, you have to ask yourself the question: What kind of life do I want to live? Your answer might be, that you want to live on exactly as you are doing right now (i.e. not feeling well). This decision is personal. No one eles is to say if it is "normal" or not.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:32am
i've actually felt this way... a lot. i can't really say if this is normal, because it isn't normal for me personally. depression is a factor in this- it can make you feel uninterested in things you used to love and make you feel differently about life. this is temporary. if it doesn't go away and worsens, contact a doctor or therapist
Carly23
May 18th, 2018 11:46pm
It is absolutely normal to not want to get better. Sometimes our situation provides a sense of comfort and familiarity to us.
SeekApotheosis50
May 13th, 2018 3:43pm
Yes! For one thing, "better" and "healthy" are totally subjective terms that are determined by the wider culture. We are constantly bombarded with messages saying we have to be "happy" all the time to be considered healthy, but that isn't necessarily true.
calmArrow24
May 9th, 2018 2:41am
I think it’s normal to think that way. For me, I got so used to feel awful that at one point I saw no reason to get better because I was used to not being okay. On top of which, even now, I sometimes feel like quiting and giving up on all the work I’ve done because I feel like I can live with my struggles because I’m so used to them.
GlowingDreamer15
May 6th, 2018 12:30am
It is kind of normal, sadly. This is caused by the fact that getting better is hard and a very long way forward. You might feel better being where you are, but after working for a good life, you'll be happy you did!
bluehorizons
May 4th, 2018 8:59pm
Not wanting to get better usually means you have been affected on a deeply emotional or psychological level to where you blame yourself and harbour feelings of shame or guilt and feel you don't deserve to be loved, appreciate, or helped. Talking to a therapist or a loved one about how you feel more will be a big step in moving forward and feeling loved.
incredibleEnergy81
May 4th, 2018 2:25am
You have felt this way for a long time so your brain thinks that this is how you like to feel because you feel it all the time its the bodies normal way of dealing with something
LivingOnFaith743
May 4th, 2018 12:59am
Of course! A lot of people are accepting of where they're at and don't see how they could make a change. Others know what they have to do but all they see is the amount of work that is needed to be made and it is overwhelming which discourages them from wanting to change.
EspritDuKaren68
May 2nd, 2018 3:28pm
Yes, it is. Some of us may be unconsciously frightened of happiness and love because it is so foreign if we have any kind of past repressed or unrepressed trauma. Getting better acknowledges all the feelings we must feel to get there and maybe some of us aren't ready to face those feelings right now, so being 'stuck' is a form of comfort.
HugsNPugs3
April 28th, 2018 10:06am
When you feel depressed you usually want to get even more depressed and that means you are not conscience of yourself and sane you have to realize it's all an illusion . Observe your thoughts and watch the thinker and just observe it
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 1:35pm
Many individuals feel as if they do not want to/cannot get better when they are unwell. This is not unheard of and can be a common thing.
nataliejuliet
April 25th, 2018 3:16pm
It can be normal! Sometimes, we are so used to having our problems/illnesses that we let them define us. At that point, the thought of getting better might seem undesirable because you are so attached to your problems.
MilkyHoneyTea
April 21st, 2018 3:02am
Yes! I am feeling the same way right now, it has been so long since I have been normal I don't know what it's like! Normalcy scares me but by using this website you are taking a step towards managing your symptoms! You are taking the first stay! You are being successful! You are taking charge! You are being healthy! Thank you!
KnitterGirl
April 18th, 2018 11:23pm
Absolutely! It can be very comfortable to stay where we are. Wanting to get better means accepting change, which can be frightening and difficult - but it can also be so worth it!
kindHand56
April 18th, 2018 11:02am
I think it's normal to feel like this, but eventually, you MUST find the motivation from within you to get back up! It's the only way forward. Hope this helps
iliketurtlesthemost72
April 15th, 2018 8:40pm
Of course it is. I would of course need to know more about your specific topic, but wanting to be better is just human nature.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 11:15pm
Yes, this is normal. Sometimes change can seem scary, or we find comfort in our troubles. Getting better can take a lot of commitment and sometimes it might feel like we're not ready.
MissHeather
April 6th, 2018 5:10pm
It may be easier this way, but it the more challenging way may bring more positive results in life.
lolitarose13
April 4th, 2018 10:20pm
Yes. Often when we go through hard times, our thoughts are so incredibly complex that we can't see straight, and therefore we may opt for no help, as we do not see it the same way a loved one may.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 7:12pm
For people with depression it's very hard to make progress. So they just give up, and don't want to make any progress (get better) since they may think their case is helpless.
wonderfullLake74
April 4th, 2018 5:29am
Sometimes when we are depressed we don't care if we get better and feel apathetic. It's normal, but if it lasts too long, it would be in your best interest to speak to someone.
Sintix
March 29th, 2018 9:12pm
Yes. A lot of times when people go through things, their mindset changes. Such as someone who is battling severe depression may be in the mindset that they are worthless, or need to harm themselves. I sincerely hope whatever you're going through isn't that severe. Sometimes not wanting to get better could be lack of attention or motivation as well. No matter what you're dealing with, it is normal to struggle with wanting to get better and not. It definitely takes devotion, and often times that is hard to have.
Engineeringhappiness
March 6th, 2018 4:47am
if you feel like you dont want to get better its because you have gotten used to your situation. you need to get help. your jar is full, so let go of some things.
compassionateDay97
March 4th, 2018 10:01pm
I would say this is very normal. It could be due to the comfort zone of being in a routine, where you are most comfortable. It can be scary knowing if you're better things may change.
meritocracyis
March 4th, 2018 11:23am
I think it's pretty normal. When you're in a deep hole, everything is tiring. Getting up from bed is tiring, thinking about getting out of the bed is tiring, and so on. Basic things are tiring let alone wanting to get better. It just takes too much energy.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 4:51am
It's normal to not want to get better because you may not be ready to take a huge step in getting better in the meantime but are looking to be better another day.
Alyssapositive
March 3rd, 2018 2:47pm
It is completely okay to feel unmotivated every so often. Life is exhausting. But if you feel that this is affecting your everyday life, there may be a more serious issue which needs to be addressed.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 5:12am
It is definitely normal, at least in my experience and that of my friends. I feel that it’s hard to want to get out of a difficulty when it starts to feel familiar. They can sometimes start to work like a toxic safety net, one that only pretends to catch you when you fall.