Is it normal to not want to get better?

113 Answers.
Last Updated: 05/21/2017 at 6:23am
Top Rated Answers
kaitykait
July 19th, 2016 6:37am

Yes it's completely normal. When you are depressed for a long period of time, you may get comfortable and it may feel easier to just stay sad because recovery seems too difficult. That is normal, however if you're able to talk to a therapist or counselor about that it would be very beneficial.

1 Tip to Feel Better
Owen27
July 15th, 2016 10:22pm

I have felt the same. Sometimes I found that being down only made me want to stay down and listen to sad music. Also people's expectations of you can weigh heavy and having an excuse to not feel as pressured can be comforting. Change is also scary and if you've experienced things that has made you have a consistent mood, lifting yourself up could make you feel like you're lying to yourself.

Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 2:09pm

Is it entirely normal to have trouble exercising motivation, telling yourself you will never get better, having personal speech problems. But there is solutions to this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGuZVuUBeiQ (cool video I recommend watching), stop telling yourself you are stupid and pathetic, stop telling yourself you can't do anything, stop telling yourself it is impossible to change, because you are wonderful and amazing!

RhinocerosWings
July 20th, 2016 8:14pm

It's completely understandable to not want to get better. This is all you know. It's all you HAVE known. Change is frightening. But it will be ok in the end. If it's not ok yet, it's not the end yet.

LondynRose
July 10th, 2016 3:10pm

It is normal not to want to get better. When you have been unwell for a while you end up getting used to that way of life and it feels safe. The fear of the unknown makes us want to stay in our comfort zone.

themoreyoulook
September 7th, 2016 5:18pm

It is actually normal to not want to get better! First of all, your natural state has been one of unease and despair, and it's natural that you're comforted by this - it's what you've known for so long, and we stay in places we find familiar. Another reason you may wish to stay where you are might be the fear of relapsing after you're getting better; falling back into a dark hole once you're in the sun is definitely scary and frustrating, so wouldn't it be better to avoid the disappointment? Similarly, you may believe that you'll never be happy, no matter what you do, so why even attempt to get better? But through it all you have to remember that just like the rain always passes and the sun always comes out, so will your sadness pass and happiness emerge - if you allow it. At the same time you have to accept that nothing is permanent, and relapses are normal. Finally, you have to step outside of your comfort zone - because only after you leave this can you begin to grow :)

Anonymous
September 8th, 2016 8:26am

I believe we all want to feel better, on some level at least. It's just that there are a lot of things which can prevent a person from doing anything to make themeselves feel better or even want to put an effort in it. It feels normal to not want to get better because sometimes you've been wanting to feel better for so long, and it feels like nothing you do is working, and you start to feel like that wanting itself is just causing you more pain, that it would easier to just give up. Getting better is hard. When you're bad for so long, you're used to it and getting better is something stranger and somehow terrifying. However, things which feel normal doesn't mean they're good for us. Getting better is hard, because it's something good. Every good thing in life is hard to reach after all; the hardest the challenge, the better the result. Though it's hard and the easier way seems vetter, getting better is something that we all deserve.

listeningsinger1001
July 11th, 2016 4:07am

Yes. Yes it is. Sometimes you need to have a piece of you locked away hidden in sight that only you know about. And that is when you have it. And maybe that part of you will never be better. But it will always be there for you to look at and to have to help you when you do want to be better again.

Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:35pm

Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. Humans are creatures of habit. It seems you have got stuck in a stagnation habit. You may have become comfortable being stagnant and you don't want to get better because of this.

Millichidulinas
July 13th, 2016 12:19pm

No that's not "normal" and not a good thing. You need to have a professional help, I think.

Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 4:06pm

7 cups of tea is a very nice platform to express our feelings to those who cares.Love you seven cups

coolvibes
August 10th, 2016 9:22pm

with the idea of getting better comes changes and that can trigger the fear of expectations and possibly even failure. Getting healthier is not so, black and white. Itrhink getting healthy means accepting every aspect of one's self. The strong and vulnerable characteristics everyone hold i n their personality. getting healthy does not mean you won't ever revisit the more vulnerable side to yourself again it just means you can navigate that moment more effectively.

orangerosess
August 12th, 2016 8:44am

It is completely normal. I have dealt with that as well. Sometimes we feel we need to be punished or we may fear change. Sometimes we just don't know what it feels like to be happy. Maybe it's none of those things and it's a mystery for you to discover.

sereneDreamer45
September 3rd, 2016 11:44am

Yes, that's the biggest barrier to recover. You lose the motivation to get better. You convince yourself that you deserve to feel this way.(you don't ) you get so used to the way you're feeling that you forget who you were without you're illness/sadness. You feel like you won't be the same. I promise, if you can find the motivation to get better, you will do it eventually and you will still be the same person, only you'll have so many more opportunities to show off who you are. ❤

SpreadHopelikeFire
September 9th, 2016 10:01pm

Yeah, it is. Don't you worry about that thought. "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness" - it's a true statement.

Anonymous
December 9th, 2016 2:52am

Sure! A lot of people, especially people who are struggling with long-term illness or anguish go back-and-forth in their will and motivation to improve their well-being. Persevering is hard, even if you have the tools to get by with. We are human and we are each very different with different strengths and weaknesses, and comparing our lives to each others to determine a normality is just not fair to anyone. Normal is anything but, and every individual has a different definition of what normal means to them. How do you define 'normal'? Looking further into yourself for clues as to who you are can help you grow into yourself in a more natural way without feeling as though it's being forced. Why do you think you don't want to get better? Do you consistently not want to get better? When was the last time you wanted to get better, and how did you feel then? How do you feel when you imagine yourself 'better'? Why do you feel that way? Remember, because we are individuals it is okay for us to 'get better' at our own pace, and that may mean taking a break from trying to be better now and then too if that's what is needed. Good luck soul-searching and good on you for reaching out and asking such a great question.

TaranWanderer
April 19th, 2017 6:14pm

It can be very normal! When we have been a certain way or gone through something for a long enough time, it becomes the every-day way of life. And even if it's not good for us, it's comfortable because it's familiar. It also takes time to want to get better, sometimes our bad situation/habits is doing a service for us in some for or other, and to give that up in order to "get better" means changing an important part of your life.

Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 4:42am

Sometimes it's hard to accept change, i know i do. When i know i need to but i dont want to, i think to myself, if this was someone else i'd want them better, so why not myself.

BurningEmber
July 10th, 2016 8:42am

Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. It is considered learned helplessness. You are used to where you are and you know nothing else and you really don't want to make another change.

neonstars1881
July 13th, 2016 6:57pm

Yes it normal. We like to hold onto our unhealthy ways. We don't want to get out of our comfort zones. Getting better means changing,and changing is hard.

Blynng
July 13th, 2016 10:01pm

It is rather common for people to not want to get better, actually. Our minds and our bodies are structured in such a way that they are accustomed to habits. After a while, the idea of trying to get better and failing to get better becomes scarier than not trying at all. This is a sense of anxiety that a lot of people feel when it comes to the idea of hope; hope is a very scary thing to have! Sometimes, though, we have to walk the steps of what we know we need, and not what we want to need.

NumberEleven
July 15th, 2016 7:05pm

For a time it is, because sometimes you can't see what goes beyond what you're going through, that's perfectly normal though.

pie
July 16th, 2016 5:56am

Normal, yes. But is it healthy? No. Many people feel comfortable in a dark place because they've been there for so long, they are afraid of happiness, etc. If you're feeling like this, though, there is still hope and you CAN get better with perseverance.

Jenni42
July 17th, 2016 1:39pm

Yes, many people feel this way. It's due to your current state feeling normal and predictable. You don't know what to expect if it changes and don't really want to take the risk.

TheGavin
July 20th, 2016 2:01pm

Yes, when it comes to feeling as if there is no better. You are under that illusion. What is a better you? only you can answer that. The sooner you realize that the better you is closer then you think. The soon you will want to get their :)

MsYani
July 22nd, 2016 4:45pm

Yes, it is a normal FEELING to not want to get better. Depending on the situation (everyone's situation is different) a person may fee like they need to give up or they feel there is no solution. Why do we feel this way? Because we are INSIDE our problem. We feel like we are drowning even deeper when we try to climb our of our situation. A good reminder for this: Once we've hit rock bottom, the only way is up. and its always easier falling then getting back up. But the battle is worth it! ("You'll be okay" by A Great Big World; Listen as you reflect your new goals in life to get better!!)

Anonymous
July 23rd, 2016 2:00am

Sometimes we lack the will to recover or motivation to try, you may feel that its not worth it and find an odd comfort in your own sadness

michelle2000
July 24th, 2016 3:50pm

I wouldn't say it's normal to not want to get better, but I would definitely say that it's normal to not want to ask for help to get better. Of course, it depends on what you are struggling with. If, for example, you struggle with Anorexia, then I can see why you wouldn't want to get better because that would involve gaining weight to become healthy. But, say, if you had depression, it would be strange if you didn't want to get better and be happy again. Like I said, it depends on your condition.

uniqueMango45
July 27th, 2016 1:00am

If you have mental health problems, yes. In my personal experience it's a terrible nightmare where you're miserable but don't want to improve because you're used to and romanticize the bad feelings.

Gracey
July 28th, 2016 10:18pm

For someone who has been unwell for a long period of time, it can be scary to think about getting better. I suppose there is no such thing as normal, maybe you should try and talk this over with a listener and explore the reasons why you don't want to get better :)

ItsAlyssa
July 28th, 2016 10:22pm

Well it doesn't seem normal to me but you should get help because who wouldn't want to get better.i hope things go great

Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 7:30pm

Yeah, sometimes we see ourselves defined by depression, ocd, anxiety, etc.. We then start thinking "if I'm not depressed, what am I?". Other times self-pity (in some cases not all) can also be indulgent.

alwaysafriend4u
July 30th, 2016 6:29am

it is normal not to want to get better. for what is "better"? "better" is a subjective observation. what you see as better is not necessarily what the suffering person see as better. we must assume we do not know all the pertinent information concerning one person. for a person is a world in itself. sometimes a person developed a complicated ,self restricting strategies ,that integrate the suffering into his life, in a never ending cycle. that is his way of coping.(in his eye-mind) . after all,sometimes, a person is his self worst enemy. if that person has strong self will, he is sure he knows what he is doing - then what? - the willing to get better must come from within that person. if that person did it for too long, until suffering/ faulty thinking become an integrated part of himself. that is the only way he knows. then what? a person is a world in itself. let him be.

Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 12:23pm

You could be depressed, depressed makes us down and to lazy to be bothering with improving ourselves.

imjustlikeY0uSDK
July 30th, 2016 4:27pm

There are many people out there who doesnt want to get better, because seeking help seems impossible because they are scared, ashamed etc.

Anonymous
August 3rd, 2016 10:14am

this is common. I understand but I personally recommend seeking professional help. you might not want to but once you've done it you will feel relived

Anonymous
August 4th, 2016 7:17am

Maybe it's about your situation.If you get more attention now,you won't want to turn back.I understand this.

hopefulHand19
August 4th, 2016 2:21pm

It is totally normal not to want to get better. Personally, I didnt want to get better, because i was so scared of putting effort into something, and having the outcome backfire at me. With lots of help, I was able to push through this, and although it was a really rough journey of ups and downs, I got better, and I am so thankful for everyone who helped. Its worth it.

TylerOxley2000
August 4th, 2016 4:56pm

I think it's completely normal to not want to get any better sometimes when you are better you make things worse because it doesn't feel right

PeacockBlue
August 6th, 2016 7:32pm

Yes, yes it is normal. It's a part of yourself procrastinating on the future, liking or rather being comfortable with where things are in the present and fearing what may come if too much changes in the future. You've become adjusted to who you are as a person right now, you know how to face your current problems and getting better means these problems will be replaced by new ones you know nothing about. Because of course, there will always be some problem. You're also happy with the empathy you can feel right now, when you aren't better and you're afraid of who you might become if you did get better. It's like the fear of failing, just rather the fear of success. You're afraid that if you wish to get better then it might never even happen. So no expectations means no disappointment. You're happy with having an excuse to be cared and comforted for. For not doing your best at work because you aren't at your best. So yes, not wanting to get better can sometimes also be half the reason why aren't getting better

pinksunset
August 10th, 2016 8:50pm

Yes, it's very common. If you've been living a certain way for a significant amount of time it's easy to get comfortable living that way, no matter whether it is good or bad for you. Alot of behaviours are maladaptive so become difficult to change, we get used to certain things and getting better can seem scary or not worth it because our way of thinking has, in a sense, adapted to the unhealthy ways we've been living.

AnArtLover
August 11th, 2016 5:48am

It is very normal. Sometimes it seems not getting better is easier, or that you've been sad (or any other emotion) for too long. I've personally felt this way too. Talking to people who've felt the same way can help you realize you are not alone.

AngelFace97
August 11th, 2016 8:47pm

Although it is sad, I do believe that it is normal, in some ways, not to want to get better. The main reason for this is when things have been so bad/negative for so long, we feel that it is a normal part of life and have grown accustomed to it. We forget that things may change for the better one day and don't realise this ourselves.

loveistheanswer11
August 12th, 2016 5:08am

The idea of change often feels frightening, especially when change will require work that feels invasive and requires new habits, vulnerability and discipline. "Getting better" requires looking deeply at what is working and what is not for us. It's definately normal to experience the desire to avoid the process of transformation. It's unknown but when someone chooses the path of progress and the momentum and changes start to take form it becomes exciting and empowering.

Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 10:20am

Yes, it's a pattern in life. You want to get better , because you can. it is very normal we all do it.

Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 8:31pm

At some point it is, and iI think it's because you think you deserve it. You want to feel like very badly about yourself, and maybe you just need someone to help you throughout the way. You feel like you WON'T get better. At some point you want others to feel bad for you, because no one has ever been sympathetic with you and maybe others have told you to "just get over it." And that's only human to want others to understand you. Although they don't understand that you can't just get over it. But I also think, that you will reach the point where you're tired of not getting better.

ListeningBunny22
August 18th, 2016 3:26pm

It depends on what circumstance though. So which is yours? Try opening up and see what helps. Always happy to help.

Anonymous
August 18th, 2016 3:54pm

Yes. Sometimes when we get so used in sleeping through chaos, we end up sleeping with it, underneath its arms because even it hurts, it's better than nothing.

angelicaxx
August 18th, 2016 4:44pm

Some people feel that and I did too. I don't know why but I did. But when you do get better, it's so much.... better! I promise you, you'll be glad you did :)

gentlefriend
August 20th, 2016 1:33pm

As we are humans, we sometimes don't want to get better. This however is a concern as it points to the symptoms of depression. It can help to make that initial leap into counselling to get support for this issue.

FizzyLemonade
August 21st, 2016 8:25pm

It's normal that you may feel dependant on you condition, as you might not remember what it feels like without it. It's normal to be scared of what life will be like when you're better, but it's important to remember that you won't have to feel so bad any more

RainbowTrie
August 25th, 2016 1:16pm

It is normal to resist any change in Status Quo because change is often scary and brings with it a lot of unknowns. If you know that getting better will require or cause big changes in your lifestyle, relationships, and live in general, then it makes sense that you might not want to get better. In the end, it is up to to to weigh the pros and cons of your situation. Just remember that treatment is available to you if and when you decide you're ready.

JadeLC
August 26th, 2016 4:37am

Honestly, yes! I think that sometimes we find comfort in truly feeling out our negative emotions. There's a reason why a good cry after a trying time really helps to alleviate the negative aspects we may endure. There are times when I wallow in my sadness or even at times, my depression. In those states, I sometimes purposefully reject help or support from friends or family because I'm simply not ready. It takes time to mentally and even physically endure, process and reflect on a heavy emotional experience. So don't feel bad or "abnormal" - feel out your sadness, loneliness, etc...! But just know that there will come a time when you'll need to really push yourself to seek help. I think from time to time it's okay to be in darkness, so long as you don't settle within it.

exquisiteLion14
August 27th, 2016 6:16am

Please elaborate. As in physically better from an illness, or trying not to be a better person each day?

Anonymous
August 31st, 2016 12:08am

I believe at certain times you get emotionally drained or exhausted where trying seems pointless. This is very normal but try to keep in mind that you aren't alone and the fight is well worth it.

ColdNoise
August 31st, 2016 4:14pm

I don't know whether I can say it's normal, but I can certainly say I have experienced this. It's very easy to fall into a trap where, being depressed is all you can really remember. And it can be at this point that you you begin to normalise it, this is what you are used to, you don't know how to feel any different hence being depressed almost feels comfortable, and the thought of being happy becomes strange and anxiety-inducing. All I can say is we can't be afraid to change, if that change is only for the better.

WarriorDreams
September 1st, 2016 12:34am

I am no one that has the power to make the decision of what ultimately is normal or is not normal. Have I heard of someone saying they don't want to get better? Personally, I have not.

anonymous9irl
September 1st, 2016 2:58pm

Strangely yes it can be quite common. It can be seen as a sign of self sabotage for a few reasons. However some people are unsure if they want to get better because they've spent so long with their illness of some kind that they don't feel like they know who they are without it, and that can be a scary thought. It can be easy to make your illness define your sense of self, and the thought of not having that plays on some people's minds to the point where they doubt if they even want to get better

LittleLemon96
September 3rd, 2016 9:27am

We can't say that it is normal, but there is a type of people called masochist, they feel that there is something beautiful or plesering about being hurt, sometimes it makes you feel less pain if you are one of them but sometimes it makes you stick to the pain which is not a good thing..

Anonymous
September 4th, 2016 6:19am

Sometimes it may feel like its better not to want to be better because you are afraid of change. if you can conquer that youll be fine.

Recent Answers
beautifulPeace50
April 9th, 2017 3:22pm

At some point we can be there, when we cant see anything but grey and black. When we retreat for a while i can say its normal, but if we get stuck to that feeling when we really dont want to get better then it is not.

Islah
April 7th, 2017 4:56am

Well, firstly, 'normal' is a state of mind... I would say that a lot of people don't want to get better. I was like that, once. My depression felt very comfortable for me, as hurtful as it was. Often times people stay in situations that aren't good for them, simply because it's comfortable. I didn't want to be uncomfortable. I was too tired to challenge myself and get better. But sometimes it's a really good feeling to get uncomfortable... Don't feel bad about wanting to be comfortable. After all, you're only human. You're only doing the very best you can. Pushing yourself to do something you aren't ready for is only counter productive... Best of luck, friend! You are so very strong!

hopefulPower94
April 1st, 2017 4:19am

In my experience it is normal to not want to get better. Our mental health conditions and unhealthy behaviors serve a purpose. They are there for a reason, and trying to get better is really hard. It is a big step. Often our illnesses can become tied to our identity, especially if we have been struggling for a long time. You are not alone in feeling like this.

TranquilityQueen
March 31st, 2017 9:02pm

Yes it is. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in the distorted beliefs that come along with a mental health problem that it feels comfortable, and the idea of recovery is scary, because it severs us from our "sick" identity, which has sometimes been a part of us for a very long time.

CK927
March 29th, 2017 4:53pm

It is, we all feel that at one point in our lives. You may be content about how things are right now, or in denial about how far reserved you've become. But at the end of the day it's your journey, you will work up the will to change when you're ready for the next chapter in your life.

problematicagender
March 23rd, 2017 11:53pm

For some people, yes. They believe that this will go on forever, so they just begin to want it to go on forever. Or maybe they benefit from it, and want it to last longer.

Anonymous
March 17th, 2017 4:46pm

When I am experience a major depressive episode, I don't want to get better. I sink into the dark feeling and just let the world wash over me. Sometimes it takes support from others to bring me up to the point where I want to get better for myself, but I think it is a normal experience to just give over to the problem.

Anonymous
March 7th, 2017 3:58am

Humans are creatures of custom. We get used to the way things are, and we can get very comfortable in a situation...even if it's a bad one. Sometimes it's hard to see beyond the moment, to imagine the future. And it can seem like the situation we have, with all of its challenges, is safer and easier than what might come if things change. BUT...if you're suffering, then you need to keep reminding yourself that you can have a better life. You can feel better. You can be better. It's okay to appreciate what we have, but we should never let that hold us back from improvement. Some day, when you're feeling better, you're going to be so grateful that you made the needed changes, that you took the risk and let yourself improve. All the best with your journey...there are bright things ahead! Trust yourself, and trust happiness.

greynarwhal
February 23rd, 2017 5:07am

My answer is a resounding yes. Whatever struggles we face are there for a reason. They become a part of our very nature and character. They fill a need in our lives. They also really negatively impact our lives. But as we decide to overcome these problems, there is often still a part of us that doesn't want them gone, because it's like getting rid of a dirty security blanket. It's unpleasant, but it's familiar. I've had a very difficult time overcoming my challenges, and I have felt almost like I've grieved once they are gone. By ultimately my life is so much better without those demons in it.

carolina555
February 22nd, 2017 11:23pm

When you've lived a certain way for so long,you may feel resistant to any change with your daily routines or emotional outlook.It's natural to feel like recovery is difficult and will bring about new challenges.As well as this,sometimes our health problems become part of our personalities and we feel like getting better is loosing a part of ourselves. In reality,you are NOT a crazy ego maniac who loves the attention of being ill ; you are just frightened of the changes that will happen as your life moves forward.In both mental health and physical health it IS completely normal to resist getting better because of the anxiety that comes with new steps forward and life changes.

heyadelina
February 18th, 2017 12:02pm

Absolutely! It's normal to want to stay sick, and even normal to wish that you were more sick. We can become attached to our problem or diagnosis and feel like it is a part of us, and sometimes we can find comfort in that. Sometimes we also wish that we were more sick so that we would require more attention, compassion and care. It is very normal, but know that you are not your illness or your problem. It is just something that you are dealing with right now, and you are a person outside of it.

Anonymous
February 17th, 2017 6:50am

It is okay to not want to get better, because your still in the process of learning. But you won't always want to be stuck forever. Somewhere along the line you will get tired of feeling down and want to get better and be happy again.

Theda
February 15th, 2017 2:33pm

I think it's an almost universal symptom of depression to be too tired to want to get better. I think sometimes we get used to it and our expectations reduce accordingly.

Anonymous
February 9th, 2017 4:25pm

Sometimes getting better feels like it will take too much work or will not be worth it. It's natural to feel that way sometimes, especially because depression can make you apathetic about your life and future. But feelings aren't facts and just because you feel like trying to get better isn't worth it, that doesn't mean it's not possible for you to heal and grow and find a future you can be happy with. Speaking personally I thought I would never be able to live a life I would want and working on my health felt pointless, but ultimately when I got serious about getting help I did get my life back and it was so much better than I imagined it could be.

KatherinewithaK
February 3rd, 2017 8:21am

Yes, sometimes people are afraid of change, and getting better does take change. It's okay to have mixed feelings about change. It's also common to believe that getting better is a far-fetched dream, but believe me it isn't. It is completely within your reach, and one day you will look back and remember the first steps you took towards being happy and healthy and you will be proud of yourself.

Pandapop82
January 1st, 2017 10:23pm

It actually is, I found that with my eating disorder, I didn't want to get better, in fact I would have argued that I didn't even have an eating disorder but I did. It is however, only when you want to get better that treatment is it's most effective. Don't worry about not wanting to get better. You can do it.

ImHereToHelpYouSee
December 29th, 2016 7:12pm

I think that it's normal. Like, there's always a stage of denial where we're either afraid of the outcome or we don't think it's possible that we can get better. Of course, rationally you know you can ( or maybe you really don't ) but there's always that doubt and it's like "Wow this is pointless."

Anonymous
December 21st, 2016 4:27pm

Sometimes you might feel helpless and feel like giving up on everything. Everyone feels that way in some point of their life. But then it may start affecting you adversely. So even if things might seem hard hang on and don't give up and do work to make things better. When they do get better you will feel the change.

patientMountain
December 11th, 2016 3:31am

It is for some people, including myself. It can happen with a variety of illnesses. For me I'm almost afraid to not be depressed because I know how to live with it. Its something I know, its something familiar. Change is scary, even when that change is for the better. Also, depression can feel like it is apart of your identity. It may be hard to let go or want to get better because you don't know who you are when you aren't depressed. It can be hard and add a lot of stress, but its nothing to be ashamed over. Move into the unknown when you're ready, not when other people push you into it.

CircleHettie
December 10th, 2016 2:06am

Yes. Because it's easier to stay the same and not have to work towards improving. On top of this, the idea of change, or coming out the other side an all-together different person is very daunting to a lot of people. But don't be afraid. To get better means to be better and you can only benefit from things being better than they are now.

thenormalstate
December 9th, 2016 1:53am

I think sometimes there can be guilt associated with getting better. Mental illnesses often (wrongly) convince us that we are lying about our struggles for attention, or that we simply needed to exert more effort and we could have gotten better more quickly. Not wanting to get better can sometimes be a coping strategy for avoiding that guilt. It can be helpful to remind ourselves that our illnesses are not our fault, that we are doing what we can, and that we deserve better health when it comes. We also deserve to congratulate ourselves for fighting, especially in times when we don't want to.

brilliantStrawberry
December 8th, 2016 12:26am

In some cases yes.. When you are suffering from a mental illness, i.e. depression bipolar etc it can cloud your judgement and make you believe you don't deserve to get better. But please know you absolutely deserve to be healthy and happy again.

heartfulBeauty84
November 30th, 2016 1:21am

It is normal. Being depressed for a long time can make you feel a lot of pain, yet you may not want to reach out because it's hard to change or it has become normal for you. Sometimes you may also feel like you deserve to feel that way. It is best in these situations to speak to a counselor or therapist.

AjVendetta
November 11th, 2016 8:17pm

it's the same as ACCEPTING FAILURE .. which doesn't really sound nice does it ?! you may try to accept the fact that if you don't wanna get better it means that you wanna just stay the same which is boring and deadly :) just go ahead do a slight change in your life and when you get a slight thrill because you became a bit more successful you will want more ! and even more :) that will help you :)

healingDreamer56
November 5th, 2016 5:48am

Well, what exactly is the definition of normal. To be very frank, there is no normal, there is only what is common and what is not. And there are so many people that think getting better will only make it worse, that this is where they are and where they should say, but, from personal experience I know that if you just talk it out and care for yourself, you will let go and allow yourself to get better. And it's so much happier in this place. However, that is a decision you must make for yourself and people here will always be supporting you no matter what decision you make.

QuietlyBurningCandle
November 4th, 2016 11:30pm

It's more common than you might think. This lack of desire often, though not always, originates from the feeling that you shouldn't be happy and healthy, possibly because you feel you don't deserve it. From experience I can say that it might make you feel alienated from other struggling people, as if you are somehow not as deserving of your current mental situation as they are. This is not true. It's not an uncommon feeling, and it doesn't make you less deserving in any way, if that is what you feel. It's just another manifestation of your mental health.

Butterfly121
November 3rd, 2016 10:09pm

It is normal, often times the hardest part of getting better is finding the need to get better and making it happen.

freefromworries
November 3rd, 2016 2:01am

It can be! A lot of people are used to feeling a certain way, and change from that can be terrifying. If , you're used to feeling depressed, anxious, etc. then it can become a comfortable feeling, and therefore you might not want to get better because it's something new and scary.

Anonymous
November 2nd, 2016 10:56pm

Yes, after feeling a certain way for so long those emotions become our norm and we slip into a routine that we are scared to break due to fear of change and what the future may hold. Accepting that getting better is the best thing to do mentally is the first step into getting a healthier mind and lifestyle!

Anonymous
October 28th, 2016 3:27pm

In my opinion, there is no such thing as normal. That would imply there is something wrong if you do not conform to typical values, which there isn't. However, it can be damaging to yourself to not want to get better. It can manifest in ways to keep yourself from recovering and this is a form of self harm. If you are having concerns about this I suggest you speak to a listener and if that doesn't help perhaps seek professional advice because that way you can help yourself stop feeling this way and thus aid your own recovery.

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