Yes it's completely normal. When you are depressed for a long period of time, you may get comfortable and it may feel easier to just stay sad because recovery seems too difficult. That is normal, however if you're able to talk to a therapist or counselor about that it would be very beneficial.
I have felt the same. Sometimes I found that being down only made me want to stay down and listen to sad music. Also people's expectations of you can weigh heavy and having an excuse to not feel as pressured can be comforting. Change is also scary and if you've experienced things that has made you have a consistent mood, lifting yourself up could make you feel like you're lying to yourself.
It's completely understandable to not want to get better. This is all you know. It's all you HAVE known. Change is frightening. But it will be ok in the end. If it's not ok yet, it's not the end yet.
It is actually normal to not want to get better! First of all, your natural state has been one of unease and despair, and it's natural that you're comforted by this - it's what you've known for so long, and we stay in places we find familiar. Another reason you may wish to stay where you are might be the fear of relapsing after you're getting better; falling back into a dark hole once you're in the sun is definitely scary and frustrating, so wouldn't it be better to avoid the disappointment? Similarly, you may believe that you'll never be happy, no matter what you do, so why even attempt to get better? But through it all you have to remember that just like the rain always passes and the sun always comes out, so will your sadness pass and happiness emerge - if you allow it. At the same time you have to accept that nothing is permanent, and relapses are normal. Finally, you have to step outside of your comfort zone - because only after you leave this can you begin to grow :)
Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.
Is it entirely normal to have trouble exercising motivation, telling yourself you will never get better, having personal speech problems. But there is solutions to this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGuZVuUBeiQ (cool video I recommend watching), stop telling yourself you are stupid and pathetic, stop telling yourself you can't do anything, stop telling yourself it is impossible to change, because you are wonderful and amazing!
I believe we all want to feel better, on some level at least. It's just that there are a lot of things which can prevent a person from doing anything to make themeselves feel better or even want to put an effort in it. It feels normal to not want to get better because sometimes you've been wanting to feel better for so long, and it feels like nothing you do is working, and you start to feel like that wanting itself is just causing you more pain, that it would easier to just give up. Getting better is hard. When you're bad for so long, you're used to it and getting better is something stranger and somehow terrifying. However, things which feel normal doesn't mean they're good for us. Getting better is hard, because it's something good. Every good thing in life is hard to reach after all; the hardest the challenge, the better the result. Though it's hard and the easier way seems vetter, getting better is something that we all deserve.
It is normal not to want to get better. When you have been unwell for a while you end up getting used to that way of life and it feels safe. The fear of the unknown makes us want to stay in our comfort zone.
Yes. Yes it is. Sometimes you need to have a piece of you locked away hidden in sight that only you know about. And that is when you have it. And maybe that part of you will never be better. But it will always be there for you to look at and to have to help you when you do want to be better again.
Normal, yes. But is it healthy? No. Many people feel comfortable in a dark place because they've been there for so long, they are afraid of happiness, etc. If you're feeling like this, though, there is still hope and you CAN get better with perseverance.
Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. Humans are creatures of habit. It seems you have got stuck in a stagnation habit. You may have become comfortable being stagnant and you don't want to get better because of this.
Sometimes, the thought of feeling ‘better' can raise many emotions and feelings. Feeling ‘better’ may be daunting for some, especially when one has experienced a negative sense of well-being for a long period of time. Being in a negative state of mind, depressed, anxious etc. can sometimes a norm, a comfort, one’s identity, and by feeling ‘better’ this is all taken away. Therefore, it is completely understandable to sometimes have the thought of not wanting to feel ‘better’. I can re-assure you, you will not be alone with this thought!! However, with support, steps, and goals in place feeling ‘better’ can be a very safe and rewarding process. A process that everyone can achieve. I wish you the best of luck with the path ahead of you. Please remember, 7cups is here to support you!
with the idea of getting better comes changes and that can trigger the fear of expectations and possibly even failure. Getting healthier is not so, black and white. Itrhink getting healthy means accepting every aspect of one's self. The strong and vulnerable characteristics everyone hold i n their personality. getting healthy does not mean you won't ever revisit the more vulnerable side to yourself again it just means you can navigate that moment more effectively.
Yes, that's the biggest barrier to recover. You lose the motivation to get better. You convince yourself that you deserve to feel this way.(you don't ) you get so used to the way you're feeling that you forget who you were without you're illness/sadness. You feel like you won't be the same. I promise, if you can find the motivation to get better, you will do it eventually and you will still be the same person, only you'll have so many more opportunities to show off who you are. ❤
Yeah, it is. Don't you worry about that thought. "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness" - it's a true statement.
It's definitely normal but isn't the best idea. After some time of getting used to a certain lifestyle or mindest it becomes familiar, "safe" or easy. It's understand that you would choose something you know, something that feels safe, rather than trying to get betting and getting into new things or trying change. Sometimes staying in the safe zone is a poor choice regarding to how successful or happy you can truly be. Really think about, it's definitely up to you but sometimes what scares you the most is probably the better decision.
Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. It is considered learned helplessness. You are used to where you are and you know nothing else and you really don't want to make another change.
No that's not "normal" and not a good thing. You need to have a professional help, I think.
7 cups of tea is a very nice platform to express our feelings to those who cares.Love you seven cups
Yes it normal. We like to hold onto our unhealthy ways. We don't want to get out of our comfort zones. Getting better means changing,and changing is hard.
It is rather common for people to not want to get better, actually. Our minds and our bodies are structured in such a way that they are accustomed to habits. After a while, the idea of trying to get better and failing to get better becomes scarier than not trying at all. This is a sense of anxiety that a lot of people feel when it comes to the idea of hope; hope is a very scary thing to have! Sometimes, though, we have to walk the steps of what we know we need, and not what we want to need.
It is completely normal. I have dealt with that as well. Sometimes we feel we need to be punished or we may fear change. Sometimes we just don't know what it feels like to be happy. Maybe it's none of those things and it's a mystery for you to discover.
Sure! A lot of people, especially people who are struggling with long-term illness or anguish go back-and-forth in their will and motivation to improve their well-being. Persevering is hard, even if you have the tools to get by with. We are human and we are each very different with different strengths and weaknesses, and comparing our lives to each others to determine a normality is just not fair to anyone. Normal is anything but, and every individual has a different definition of what normal means to them. How do you define 'normal'? Looking further into yourself for clues as to who you are can help you grow into yourself in a more natural way without feeling as though it's being forced. Why do you think you don't want to get better? Do you consistently not want to get better? When was the last time you wanted to get better, and how did you feel then? How do you feel when you imagine yourself 'better'? Why do you feel that way? Remember, because we are individuals it is okay for us to 'get better' at our own pace, and that may mean taking a break from trying to be better now and then too if that's what is needed. Good luck soul-searching and good on you for reaching out and asking such a great question.
It can be very normal! When we have been a certain way or gone through something for a long enough time, it becomes the every-day way of life. And even if it's not good for us, it's comfortable because it's familiar. It also takes time to want to get better, sometimes our bad situation/habits is doing a service for us in some for or other, and to give that up in order to "get better" means changing an important part of your life.
Sometimes it's hard to accept change, i know i do. When i know i need to but i dont want to, i think to myself, if this was someone else i'd want them better, so why not myself.
For a time it is, because sometimes you can't see what goes beyond what you're going through, that's perfectly normal though.
Yes, many people feel this way. It's due to your current state feeling normal and predictable. You don't know what to expect if it changes and don't really want to take the risk.
Yes, when it comes to feeling as if there is no better. You are under that illusion. What is a better you? only you can answer that. The sooner you realize that the better you is closer then you think. The soon you will want to get their :)
Yes, it is a normal FEELING to not want to get better. Depending on the situation (everyone's situation is different) a person may fee like they need to give up or they feel there is no solution. Why do we feel this way? Because we are INSIDE our problem. We feel like we are drowning even deeper when we try to climb our of our situation. A good reminder for this: Once we've hit rock bottom, the only way is up. and its always easier falling then getting back up. But the battle is worth it! ("You'll be okay" by A Great Big World; Listen as you reflect your new goals in life to get better!!)
Sometimes we lack the will to recover or motivation to try, you may feel that its not worth it and find an odd comfort in your own sadness
I wouldn't say it's normal to not want to get better, but I would definitely say that it's normal to not want to ask for help to get better. Of course, it depends on what you are struggling with. If, for example, you struggle with Anorexia, then I can see why you wouldn't want to get better because that would involve gaining weight to become healthy. But, say, if you had depression, it would be strange if you didn't want to get better and be happy again. Like I said, it depends on your condition.
If you have mental health problems, yes. In my personal experience it's a terrible nightmare where you're miserable but don't want to improve because you're used to and romanticize the bad feelings.
For someone who has been unwell for a long period of time, it can be scary to think about getting better. I suppose there is no such thing as normal, maybe you should try and talk this over with a listener and explore the reasons why you don't want to get better :)
Well it doesn't seem normal to me but you should get help because who wouldn't want to get better.i hope things go great
Yeah, sometimes we see ourselves defined by depression, ocd, anxiety, etc.. We then start thinking "if I'm not depressed, what am I?". Other times self-pity (in some cases not all) can also be indulgent.
it is normal not to want to get better. for what is "better"? "better" is a subjective observation. what you see as better is not necessarily what the suffering person see as better. we must assume we do not know all the pertinent information concerning one person. for a person is a world in itself. sometimes a person developed a complicated ,self restricting strategies ,that integrate the suffering into his life, in a never ending cycle. that is his way of coping.(in his eye-mind) . after all,sometimes, a person is his self worst enemy. if that person has strong self will, he is sure he knows what he is doing - then what? - the willing to get better must come from within that person. if that person did it for too long, until suffering/ faulty thinking become an integrated part of himself. that is the only way he knows. then what? a person is a world in itself. let him be.
You could be depressed, depressed makes us down and to lazy to be bothering with improving ourselves.
There are many people out there who doesnt want to get better, because seeking help seems impossible because they are scared, ashamed etc.
this is common. I understand but I personally recommend seeking professional help. you might not want to but once you've done it you will feel relived
Maybe it's about your situation.If you get more attention now,you won't want to turn back.I understand this.
It is totally normal not to want to get better. Personally, I didnt want to get better, because i was so scared of putting effort into something, and having the outcome backfire at me. With lots of help, I was able to push through this, and although it was a really rough journey of ups and downs, I got better, and I am so thankful for everyone who helped. Its worth it.
I think it's completely normal to not want to get any better sometimes when you are better you make things worse because it doesn't feel right
Yes, yes it is normal. It's a part of yourself procrastinating on the future, liking or rather being comfortable with where things are in the present and fearing what may come if too much changes in the future. You've become adjusted to who you are as a person right now, you know how to face your current problems and getting better means these problems will be replaced by new ones you know nothing about. Because of course, there will always be some problem. You're also happy with the empathy you can feel right now, when you aren't better and you're afraid of who you might become if you did get better. It's like the fear of failing, just rather the fear of success. You're afraid that if you wish to get better then it might never even happen. So no expectations means no disappointment. You're happy with having an excuse to be cared and comforted for. For not doing your best at work because you aren't at your best. So yes, not wanting to get better can sometimes also be half the reason why aren't getting better
Yes, it's very common. If you've been living a certain way for a significant amount of time it's easy to get comfortable living that way, no matter whether it is good or bad for you. Alot of behaviours are maladaptive so become difficult to change, we get used to certain things and getting better can seem scary or not worth it because our way of thinking has, in a sense, adapted to the unhealthy ways we've been living.
It is very normal. Sometimes it seems not getting better is easier, or that you've been sad (or any other emotion) for too long. I've personally felt this way too. Talking to people who've felt the same way can help you realize you are not alone.
Although it is sad, I do believe that it is normal, in some ways, not to want to get better. The main reason for this is when things have been so bad/negative for so long, we feel that it is a normal part of life and have grown accustomed to it. We forget that things may change for the better one day and don't realise this ourselves.
The idea of change often feels frightening, especially when change will require work that feels invasive and requires new habits, vulnerability and discipline. "Getting better" requires looking deeply at what is working and what is not for us. It's definately normal to experience the desire to avoid the process of transformation. It's unknown but when someone chooses the path of progress and the momentum and changes start to take form it becomes exciting and empowering.
Yes, it's a pattern in life. You want to get better , because you can. it is very normal we all do it.
At some point it is, and iI think it's because you think you deserve it. You want to feel like very badly about yourself, and maybe you just need someone to help you throughout the way. You feel like you WON'T get better. At some point you want others to feel bad for you, because no one has ever been sympathetic with you and maybe others have told you to "just get over it." And that's only human to want others to understand you. Although they don't understand that you can't just get over it. But I also think, that you will reach the point where you're tired of not getting better.
It depends on what circumstance though. So which is yours? Try opening up and see what helps. Always happy to help.
Yes. Sometimes when we get so used in sleeping through chaos, we end up sleeping with it, underneath its arms because even it hurts, it's better than nothing.
Some people feel that and I did too. I don't know why but I did. But when you do get better, it's so much.... better! I promise you, you'll be glad you did :)
As we are humans, we sometimes don't want to get better. This however is a concern as it points to the symptoms of depression. It can help to make that initial leap into counselling to get support for this issue.
It's normal that you may feel dependant on you condition, as you might not remember what it feels like without it. It's normal to be scared of what life will be like when you're better, but it's important to remember that you won't have to feel so bad any more
It is normal to resist any change in Status Quo because change is often scary and brings with it a lot of unknowns. If you know that getting better will require or cause big changes in your lifestyle, relationships, and live in general, then it makes sense that you might not want to get better. In the end, it is up to to to weigh the pros and cons of your situation. Just remember that treatment is available to you if and when you decide you're ready.
Honestly, yes! I think that sometimes we find comfort in truly feeling out our negative emotions. There's a reason why a good cry after a trying time really helps to alleviate the negative aspects we may endure. There are times when I wallow in my sadness or even at times, my depression. In those states, I sometimes purposefully reject help or support from friends or family because I'm simply not ready. It takes time to mentally and even physically endure, process and reflect on a heavy emotional experience. So don't feel bad or "abnormal" - feel out your sadness, loneliness, etc...! But just know that there will come a time when you'll need to really push yourself to seek help. I think from time to time it's okay to be in darkness, so long as you don't settle within it.
Please elaborate. As in physically better from an illness, or trying not to be a better person each day?
I believe at certain times you get emotionally drained or exhausted where trying seems pointless. This is very normal but try to keep in mind that you aren't alone and the fight is well worth it.
I don't know whether I can say it's normal, but I can certainly say I have experienced this. It's very easy to fall into a trap where, being depressed is all you can really remember. And it can be at this point that you you begin to normalise it, this is what you are used to, you don't know how to feel any different hence being depressed almost feels comfortable, and the thought of being happy becomes strange and anxiety-inducing. All I can say is we can't be afraid to change, if that change is only for the better.
I am no one that has the power to make the decision of what ultimately is normal or is not normal. Have I heard of someone saying they don't want to get better? Personally, I have not.
Strangely yes it can be quite common. It can be seen as a sign of self sabotage for a few reasons. However some people are unsure if they want to get better because they've spent so long with their illness of some kind that they don't feel like they know who they are without it, and that can be a scary thought. It can be easy to make your illness define your sense of self, and the thought of not having that plays on some people's minds to the point where they doubt if they even want to get better
You may struggle for a while therefore when an opportunity comes by where you can get better, it might be the case of fearing what would happen next when you're so used to feeling the way you did.
Yes. Unfortunately it is, at least from what I've seen. I know that I personally don't want to get better, and I haven't in the past. However it's important to get better, for your health and for your future.
It can be. Although this is common for some people, it is not healthy. Some people might feel they deserve to not get better and that is a negative way to think. This is a way people "punish" themselves and it is not healthy. You can want it, but it will be much harder to feel better the longer you put yourself through that. Please know that you deserve to feel better and amazing and loved, even if you don't want it or feel like you do. YOU DO.
Indeed this is normal. The idea of either returning to, or discovering a world of "normality" can be tremendously unnerving for an individual. Also it is normal to come to define oneself by that which has been diagnosed , by that which separates you from you immediate community . However these issues can be alleviated with the guidance of a Therapist
It is very normal. Just like anger, grief and sadness, etc. But when it becomes an unhealthy amount, where it's interfering with daily tasks and performance, it's best to try and get in with a therapist as soon as it's an option, because there is hope. No matter how debilitating a sickness may be, or depression episode, stress, anything. No matter what, you are so important, and there is hope. It matters on how you take that and perceive what's going on around you. At least for me, I've been scared to come out of my "little rock" I've been living under for quite some time now. Repeat hospitalizations,, day patients, 911 calls, therapists, bullying, depression, anxiety, BPD, etc. I am scared because I don't want to leave this familiar place. I am afraid to 'be happy'. I've loved the idea of it; always. But when I try, that depression grabs me right back down. Until and as soon as I can figure out a way to get past that, as soon as depression is trying to sneak up on me, the better a chance I have at making a full recovery, or at least succeeding in my path to true happiness. It's a familiar world, but I have to learn to try to enter new worlds, and be less shy. I've learned a lot from being a listener on here. Giving advice I hardly tried giving myself; because I felt worthless, pathetic, and more. And for you, or those seeking help, that is a great thing. As soon as you spot the first sign of something, try to advocate or get yourself some help. No one should ever feel like they don't want to get better. It's mostly about attitude, perseverance, support, and hope. Stay strong you all.
It is a common thing to not want to get better when it is something your used to. It is like a routine and whether its good or bad it's hard to get out of. It is a normal feeling to feel however when you are ready to it will be easier to get better.
of course! some people feel like it's better to stay safe than sorry, maybe you're just scared of what's to come but it IS normal. the important thing now is to reflect on why and work on how!
I think this is sometimes normal. For me I have personally experienced a lot of trauma, and I believe you have to be ready to face your trauma. Right now, I believe that if I start therapy, It may overwhelm me with starting college. I find it helps to do meditations and self help for now.
It's normal to feel this way, because getting better is going to be hard and a struggle, but it is worth it in the end. trust me I did it.
It is quite normal when we are feeling down and feel that things are not getting better. By unburdening ourselves, releasing distress (including by talking) can make us feel better. Feeling better is the first step in getting better.
In some situations, the way you feel, even if it is negative, can give a feeling of safety. For many people, that can be difficult to get out of, so they are not able to work on themselves.
It is understandable, if not normal. Sometimes, the state we're in is all we know, so getting better is a foreign and perhaps even scary concept. However, getting better is a good thing, no matter how scary the unknown may seem.
It is very normal. Sometimes when you've been in a low place for a long time, it almost feels like a security blanket. Getting better means stepping out of the comfort zone that you have made for yourself, and that's not an easy thing to do! However, as comfortable and safe as you may feel right now, there is so much more on the other side of those walls that are so difficult to scale. It's not an easy journey, and it's definitely not comfortable, but the payout is so worth it.
It's completely normal. Getting better takes effort and is a new experience when you've felt a certain way for a long time. It can seem scary and it seems easier just to stay the way you are. Even if these feelings make you feel miserable, they're familiar, so it's more comforting to choose familiar over unfamiliar (getting better). Also, you may not be ready to get better, which is also ok. Not everyone wants to get better. It's a pretty common experience.
Well, the person might be satisfied with his/her self, or doesn't see his/her flaws at the moment. Like, maybe they like themselves just the way the are and don't feel the needs to change.
Yes absolutely. Often there is a sense of solace around your problem. Always a layer of a blanket smuggling you in with the ability to craft an excuse by pointing back to it. Breaking away from that comfort zone is all you need to confront the problem. Once you confront the problem, it’s way easier to break through.
It is extremely normal, many have felt the way you do now including myself. It feels as though what you are experiencing is a part of you. It may take time for you to realize it does not define you and that you are stronger than it.
I think sometimes, yes. Sometimes getting better isn't our priority but to find a person who can comprehend our present state is much more important. Infact that is the first step towards getting better.
Yeah it's normal to not wanting to get better. Obviouslly sometimes I enjoy the feeling of being lonely and just sad... it's a different spice in life too. Ofcourse not all the time. Both should be balanced out.
Yes it is, and because wanting to get better is not too different from wanting to anything else at all: it's active work, and the thought of doing it can be daunting. Give yourself the space and time, and do one small thing each day. It gets better.
Completely normal. I find myself questioning if I really do want to get better multiple times a day. We’re so used to the negativity in our lives that we feel as though we wouldn’t be able to handle the positivity or change that comes with it, sometimes we have our happy days and we think ‘this feels good but it won’t last’ and instead of enjoying the good times we spend our time worrying about the downfall that’s waiting to happen. Savour those happy days and enjoy them as much as you can.
I think getting better is a scary road. Not sure anyone wants to venture down that road. Brave people will try, and I think once you have collected enough energy and have the support, you can make that journey in your own time. If you aren't ready, you don't need to feel guilty, it just may mean you need to rest up a bit and then take another go. It's exhausting, when you are already running on empty. It's normal. I know you will make it, at your own pace. Happy you're here!
Sometimes you are so used to the bad things that you don’t want change. It’s completely normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.
We all experience plateaus once in awhile; periods of time where it feels like we can't or don't want to get better. The best thing you can do is ride out the wave and push further towards your goal.
It can be common to get caught in a cycle of negativity and not want to get better for any number of reasons. However, most people want to get better deep inside. Sometimes that desire is just hard to see in the haze of troubles.
I think this is an excellent question that should be explored in a different question. What happens differently when your unwell compared to when you are? Is it the type of attention that is received? Is there another way to get this attention while well? Is it the people or a certain person that is only present in times of illness? Is there other means to invite them into your life when you are well? Sometimes, a person can become stuck in either an ill or unhappy state due to the fear of being happy. So it could also be a fear of being hurt again. If so, then the pros and cons should that behavior can be confronted and examined. Without knowing real details, these are just some thoughts.
Yes. Its is completely normal to feel this way. It may be because you are comfortable with the way you are currently feeling. The idea of making a change can sometimes become less desireable as we get used to our mindset.
I think that not wanting to get better are different fears in disguise. If you have suffered from mental illnesses for a while, it seems to take over your personality. That might cause the thought of not wanting to get better, because we are unsure of who we even are without our illness, but that is something we will discover during recovery. In the end all our efforts will be worth it.
Very normal. Especially if what you are not wanting to get better from is giving you a whole lot of pleasure and meeting 4 or more of your 6 human needs. Our subconsciuos minds love pleasure and staying in their comfort zones. Anything that is a change from comfort is a red flag for danger. And you will start to meet some resistance from your subconscious mind, signalling danger.
Getting healthy takes a lot of time and effort. You should want to get better as a first step. Do it for your self!