Is it normal to not want to get better?

148 Answers.
Last Updated: 12/11/2017 at 3:55am
Top Rated Answers
kaitykait
July 19th, 2016 6:37am

Yes it's completely normal. When you are depressed for a long period of time, you may get comfortable and it may feel easier to just stay sad because recovery seems too difficult. That is normal, however if you're able to talk to a therapist or counselor about that it would be very beneficial.

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Owen27
July 15th, 2016 10:22pm

I have felt the same. Sometimes I found that being down only made me want to stay down and listen to sad music. Also people's expectations of you can weigh heavy and having an excuse to not feel as pressured can be comforting. Change is also scary and if you've experienced things that has made you have a consistent mood, lifting yourself up could make you feel like you're lying to yourself.

RhinocerosWings
July 20th, 2016 8:14pm

It's completely understandable to not want to get better. This is all you know. It's all you HAVE known. Change is frightening. But it will be ok in the end. If it's not ok yet, it's not the end yet.

Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 11:55pm

Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.

Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 2:09pm

Is it entirely normal to have trouble exercising motivation, telling yourself you will never get better, having personal speech problems. But there is solutions to this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGuZVuUBeiQ (cool video I recommend watching), stop telling yourself you are stupid and pathetic, stop telling yourself you can't do anything, stop telling yourself it is impossible to change, because you are wonderful and amazing!

themoreyoulook
September 7th, 2016 5:18pm

It is actually normal to not want to get better! First of all, your natural state has been one of unease and despair, and it's natural that you're comforted by this - it's what you've known for so long, and we stay in places we find familiar. Another reason you may wish to stay where you are might be the fear of relapsing after you're getting better; falling back into a dark hole once you're in the sun is definitely scary and frustrating, so wouldn't it be better to avoid the disappointment? Similarly, you may believe that you'll never be happy, no matter what you do, so why even attempt to get better? But through it all you have to remember that just like the rain always passes and the sun always comes out, so will your sadness pass and happiness emerge - if you allow it. At the same time you have to accept that nothing is permanent, and relapses are normal. Finally, you have to step outside of your comfort zone - because only after you leave this can you begin to grow :)

LondynRose
July 10th, 2016 3:10pm

It is normal not to want to get better. When you have been unwell for a while you end up getting used to that way of life and it feels safe. The fear of the unknown makes us want to stay in our comfort zone.

Random28
September 8th, 2016 8:26am

I believe we all want to feel better, on some level at least. It's just that there are a lot of things which can prevent a person from doing anything to make themeselves feel better or even want to put an effort in it. It feels normal to not want to get better because sometimes you've been wanting to feel better for so long, and it feels like nothing you do is working, and you start to feel like that wanting itself is just causing you more pain, that it would easier to just give up. Getting better is hard. When you're bad for so long, you're used to it and getting better is something stranger and somehow terrifying. However, things which feel normal doesn't mean they're good for us. Getting better is hard, because it's something good. Every good thing in life is hard to reach after all; the hardest the challenge, the better the result. Though it's hard and the easier way seems vetter, getting better is something that we all deserve.

listeningsinger1001
July 11th, 2016 4:07am

Yes. Yes it is. Sometimes you need to have a piece of you locked away hidden in sight that only you know about. And that is when you have it. And maybe that part of you will never be better. But it will always be there for you to look at and to have to help you when you do want to be better again.

Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:35pm

Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. Humans are creatures of habit. It seems you have got stuck in a stagnation habit. You may have become comfortable being stagnant and you don't want to get better because of this.

sereneDreamer45
September 3rd, 2016 11:44am

Yes, that's the biggest barrier to recover. You lose the motivation to get better. You convince yourself that you deserve to feel this way.(you don't ) you get so used to the way you're feeling that you forget who you were without you're illness/sadness. You feel like you won't be the same. I promise, if you can find the motivation to get better, you will do it eventually and you will still be the same person, only you'll have so many more opportunities to show off who you are. ❤

Millichidulinas
July 13th, 2016 12:19pm

No that's not "normal" and not a good thing. You need to have a professional help, I think.

Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 4:06pm

7 cups of tea is a very nice platform to express our feelings to those who cares.Love you seven cups

pie
July 16th, 2016 5:56am

Normal, yes. But is it healthy? No. Many people feel comfortable in a dark place because they've been there for so long, they are afraid of happiness, etc. If you're feeling like this, though, there is still hope and you CAN get better with perseverance.

coolvibes
August 10th, 2016 9:22pm

with the idea of getting better comes changes and that can trigger the fear of expectations and possibly even failure. Getting healthier is not so, black and white. Itrhink getting healthy means accepting every aspect of one's self. The strong and vulnerable characteristics everyone hold i n their personality. getting healthy does not mean you won't ever revisit the more vulnerable side to yourself again it just means you can navigate that moment more effectively.

orangerosess
August 12th, 2016 8:44am

It is completely normal. I have dealt with that as well. Sometimes we feel we need to be punished or we may fear change. Sometimes we just don't know what it feels like to be happy. Maybe it's none of those things and it's a mystery for you to discover.

SpreadHopelikeFire
September 9th, 2016 10:01pm

Yeah, it is. Don't you worry about that thought. "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness" - it's a true statement.

Anonymous
December 9th, 2016 2:52am

Sure! A lot of people, especially people who are struggling with long-term illness or anguish go back-and-forth in their will and motivation to improve their well-being. Persevering is hard, even if you have the tools to get by with. We are human and we are each very different with different strengths and weaknesses, and comparing our lives to each others to determine a normality is just not fair to anyone. Normal is anything but, and every individual has a different definition of what normal means to them. How do you define 'normal'? Looking further into yourself for clues as to who you are can help you grow into yourself in a more natural way without feeling as though it's being forced. Why do you think you don't want to get better? Do you consistently not want to get better? When was the last time you wanted to get better, and how did you feel then? How do you feel when you imagine yourself 'better'? Why do you feel that way? Remember, because we are individuals it is okay for us to 'get better' at our own pace, and that may mean taking a break from trying to be better now and then too if that's what is needed. Good luck soul-searching and good on you for reaching out and asking such a great question.

TaranWanderer
April 19th, 2017 6:14pm

It can be very normal! When we have been a certain way or gone through something for a long enough time, it becomes the every-day way of life. And even if it's not good for us, it's comfortable because it's familiar. It also takes time to want to get better, sometimes our bad situation/habits is doing a service for us in some for or other, and to give that up in order to "get better" means changing an important part of your life.

Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 4:42am

Sometimes it's hard to accept change, i know i do. When i know i need to but i dont want to, i think to myself, if this was someone else i'd want them better, so why not myself.

BurningEmber
July 10th, 2016 8:42am

Yes. It is normal to not want to get better. It is considered learned helplessness. You are used to where you are and you know nothing else and you really don't want to make another change.

neonstars1881
July 13th, 2016 6:57pm

Yes it normal. We like to hold onto our unhealthy ways. We don't want to get out of our comfort zones. Getting better means changing,and changing is hard.

Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 10:01pm

It is rather common for people to not want to get better, actually. Our minds and our bodies are structured in such a way that they are accustomed to habits. After a while, the idea of trying to get better and failing to get better becomes scarier than not trying at all. This is a sense of anxiety that a lot of people feel when it comes to the idea of hope; hope is a very scary thing to have! Sometimes, though, we have to walk the steps of what we know we need, and not what we want to need.

NumberEleven
July 15th, 2016 7:05pm

For a time it is, because sometimes you can't see what goes beyond what you're going through, that's perfectly normal though.

Jenni42
July 17th, 2016 1:39pm

Yes, many people feel this way. It's due to your current state feeling normal and predictable. You don't know what to expect if it changes and don't really want to take the risk.

TheGavin
July 20th, 2016 2:01pm

Yes, when it comes to feeling as if there is no better. You are under that illusion. What is a better you? only you can answer that. The sooner you realize that the better you is closer then you think. The soon you will want to get their :)

MsYani
July 22nd, 2016 4:45pm

Yes, it is a normal FEELING to not want to get better. Depending on the situation (everyone's situation is different) a person may fee like they need to give up or they feel there is no solution. Why do we feel this way? Because we are INSIDE our problem. We feel like we are drowning even deeper when we try to climb our of our situation. A good reminder for this: Once we've hit rock bottom, the only way is up. and its always easier falling then getting back up. But the battle is worth it! ("You'll be okay" by A Great Big World; Listen as you reflect your new goals in life to get better!!)

Anonymous
July 23rd, 2016 2:00am

Sometimes we lack the will to recover or motivation to try, you may feel that its not worth it and find an odd comfort in your own sadness

michelle2000
July 24th, 2016 3:50pm

I wouldn't say it's normal to not want to get better, but I would definitely say that it's normal to not want to ask for help to get better. Of course, it depends on what you are struggling with. If, for example, you struggle with Anorexia, then I can see why you wouldn't want to get better because that would involve gaining weight to become healthy. But, say, if you had depression, it would be strange if you didn't want to get better and be happy again. Like I said, it depends on your condition.

uniqueMango45
July 27th, 2016 1:00am

If you have mental health problems, yes. In my personal experience it's a terrible nightmare where you're miserable but don't want to improve because you're used to and romanticize the bad feelings.

Gracey
July 28th, 2016 10:18pm

For someone who has been unwell for a long period of time, it can be scary to think about getting better. I suppose there is no such thing as normal, maybe you should try and talk this over with a listener and explore the reasons why you don't want to get better :)

ItsAlyssa
July 28th, 2016 10:22pm

Well it doesn't seem normal to me but you should get help because who wouldn't want to get better.i hope things go great

Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 7:30pm

Yeah, sometimes we see ourselves defined by depression, ocd, anxiety, etc.. We then start thinking "if I'm not depressed, what am I?". Other times self-pity (in some cases not all) can also be indulgent.

alwaysafriend4u
July 30th, 2016 6:29am

it is normal not to want to get better. for what is "better"? "better" is a subjective observation. what you see as better is not necessarily what the suffering person see as better. we must assume we do not know all the pertinent information concerning one person. for a person is a world in itself. sometimes a person developed a complicated ,self restricting strategies ,that integrate the suffering into his life, in a never ending cycle. that is his way of coping.(in his eye-mind) . after all,sometimes, a person is his self worst enemy. if that person has strong self will, he is sure he knows what he is doing - then what? - the willing to get better must come from within that person. if that person did it for too long, until suffering/ faulty thinking become an integrated part of himself. that is the only way he knows. then what? a person is a world in itself. let him be.

Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 12:23pm

You could be depressed, depressed makes us down and to lazy to be bothering with improving ourselves.

Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 4:27pm

There are many people out there who doesnt want to get better, because seeking help seems impossible because they are scared, ashamed etc.

Anonymous
August 3rd, 2016 10:14am

this is common. I understand but I personally recommend seeking professional help. you might not want to but once you've done it you will feel relived

Anonymous
August 4th, 2016 7:17am

Maybe it's about your situation.If you get more attention now,you won't want to turn back.I understand this.

hopefulHand19
August 4th, 2016 2:21pm

It is totally normal not to want to get better. Personally, I didnt want to get better, because i was so scared of putting effort into something, and having the outcome backfire at me. With lots of help, I was able to push through this, and although it was a really rough journey of ups and downs, I got better, and I am so thankful for everyone who helped. Its worth it.

TylerOxley2000
August 4th, 2016 4:56pm

I think it's completely normal to not want to get any better sometimes when you are better you make things worse because it doesn't feel right

PeacockBlue
August 6th, 2016 7:32pm

Yes, yes it is normal. It's a part of yourself procrastinating on the future, liking or rather being comfortable with where things are in the present and fearing what may come if too much changes in the future. You've become adjusted to who you are as a person right now, you know how to face your current problems and getting better means these problems will be replaced by new ones you know nothing about. Because of course, there will always be some problem. You're also happy with the empathy you can feel right now, when you aren't better and you're afraid of who you might become if you did get better. It's like the fear of failing, just rather the fear of success. You're afraid that if you wish to get better then it might never even happen. So no expectations means no disappointment. You're happy with having an excuse to be cared and comforted for. For not doing your best at work because you aren't at your best. So yes, not wanting to get better can sometimes also be half the reason why aren't getting better

pinksunset
August 10th, 2016 8:50pm

Yes, it's very common. If you've been living a certain way for a significant amount of time it's easy to get comfortable living that way, no matter whether it is good or bad for you. Alot of behaviours are maladaptive so become difficult to change, we get used to certain things and getting better can seem scary or not worth it because our way of thinking has, in a sense, adapted to the unhealthy ways we've been living.

AnArtLover
August 11th, 2016 5:48am

It is very normal. Sometimes it seems not getting better is easier, or that you've been sad (or any other emotion) for too long. I've personally felt this way too. Talking to people who've felt the same way can help you realize you are not alone.

AngelFace97
August 11th, 2016 8:47pm

Although it is sad, I do believe that it is normal, in some ways, not to want to get better. The main reason for this is when things have been so bad/negative for so long, we feel that it is a normal part of life and have grown accustomed to it. We forget that things may change for the better one day and don't realise this ourselves.

loveistheanswer11
August 12th, 2016 5:08am

The idea of change often feels frightening, especially when change will require work that feels invasive and requires new habits, vulnerability and discipline. "Getting better" requires looking deeply at what is working and what is not for us. It's definately normal to experience the desire to avoid the process of transformation. It's unknown but when someone chooses the path of progress and the momentum and changes start to take form it becomes exciting and empowering.

Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 10:20am

Yes, it's a pattern in life. You want to get better , because you can. it is very normal we all do it.

Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 8:31pm

At some point it is, and iI think it's because you think you deserve it. You want to feel like very badly about yourself, and maybe you just need someone to help you throughout the way. You feel like you WON'T get better. At some point you want others to feel bad for you, because no one has ever been sympathetic with you and maybe others have told you to "just get over it." And that's only human to want others to understand you. Although they don't understand that you can't just get over it. But I also think, that you will reach the point where you're tired of not getting better.

ListeningBunny22
August 18th, 2016 3:26pm

It depends on what circumstance though. So which is yours? Try opening up and see what helps. Always happy to help.

Atlantismaybe
August 18th, 2016 3:54pm

Yes. Sometimes when we get so used in sleeping through chaos, we end up sleeping with it, underneath its arms because even it hurts, it's better than nothing.

angelicaxx
August 18th, 2016 4:44pm

Some people feel that and I did too. I don't know why but I did. But when you do get better, it's so much.... better! I promise you, you'll be glad you did :)

gentlefriend
August 20th, 2016 1:33pm

As we are humans, we sometimes don't want to get better. This however is a concern as it points to the symptoms of depression. It can help to make that initial leap into counselling to get support for this issue.

FizzyLemonade
August 21st, 2016 8:25pm

It's normal that you may feel dependant on you condition, as you might not remember what it feels like without it. It's normal to be scared of what life will be like when you're better, but it's important to remember that you won't have to feel so bad any more

RainbowTrie
August 25th, 2016 1:16pm

It is normal to resist any change in Status Quo because change is often scary and brings with it a lot of unknowns. If you know that getting better will require or cause big changes in your lifestyle, relationships, and live in general, then it makes sense that you might not want to get better. In the end, it is up to to to weigh the pros and cons of your situation. Just remember that treatment is available to you if and when you decide you're ready.

JadeLC
August 26th, 2016 4:37am

Honestly, yes! I think that sometimes we find comfort in truly feeling out our negative emotions. There's a reason why a good cry after a trying time really helps to alleviate the negative aspects we may endure. There are times when I wallow in my sadness or even at times, my depression. In those states, I sometimes purposefully reject help or support from friends or family because I'm simply not ready. It takes time to mentally and even physically endure, process and reflect on a heavy emotional experience. So don't feel bad or "abnormal" - feel out your sadness, loneliness, etc...! But just know that there will come a time when you'll need to really push yourself to seek help. I think from time to time it's okay to be in darkness, so long as you don't settle within it.

exquisiteLion14
August 27th, 2016 6:16am

Please elaborate. As in physically better from an illness, or trying not to be a better person each day?

Anonymous
August 31st, 2016 12:08am

I believe at certain times you get emotionally drained or exhausted where trying seems pointless. This is very normal but try to keep in mind that you aren't alone and the fight is well worth it.

ColdNoise
August 31st, 2016 4:14pm

I don't know whether I can say it's normal, but I can certainly say I have experienced this. It's very easy to fall into a trap where, being depressed is all you can really remember. And it can be at this point that you you begin to normalise it, this is what you are used to, you don't know how to feel any different hence being depressed almost feels comfortable, and the thought of being happy becomes strange and anxiety-inducing. All I can say is we can't be afraid to change, if that change is only for the better.

WarriorDreams
September 1st, 2016 12:34am

I am no one that has the power to make the decision of what ultimately is normal or is not normal. Have I heard of someone saying they don't want to get better? Personally, I have not.

anonymous9irl
September 1st, 2016 2:58pm

Strangely yes it can be quite common. It can be seen as a sign of self sabotage for a few reasons. However some people are unsure if they want to get better because they've spent so long with their illness of some kind that they don't feel like they know who they are without it, and that can be a scary thought. It can be easy to make your illness define your sense of self, and the thought of not having that plays on some people's minds to the point where they doubt if they even want to get better

LittleLemon96
September 3rd, 2016 9:27am

We can't say that it is normal, but there is a type of people called masochist, they feel that there is something beautiful or plesering about being hurt, sometimes it makes you feel less pain if you are one of them but sometimes it makes you stick to the pain which is not a good thing..

Anonymous
September 4th, 2016 6:19am

Sometimes it may feel like its better not to want to be better because you are afraid of change. if you can conquer that youll be fine.

Recent Answers
Natasha82
December 9th, 2017 5:19am

I think this is an excellent question that should be explored in a different question. What happens differently when your unwell compared to when you are? Is it the type of attention that is received? Is there another way to get this attention while well? Is it the people or a certain person that is only present in times of illness? Is there other means to invite them into your life when you are well? Sometimes, a person can become stuck in either an ill or unhappy state due to the fear of being happy. So it could also be a fear of being hurt again. If so, then the pros and cons should that behavior can be confronted and examined. Without knowing real details, these are just some thoughts.

Anonymous
December 1st, 2017 5:57pm

Yes. Its is completely normal to feel this way. It may be because you are comfortable with the way you are currently feeling. The idea of making a change can sometimes become less desireable as we get used to our mindset.

PalePink
November 22nd, 2017 8:42pm

I think that not wanting to get better are different fears in disguise. If you have suffered from mental illnesses for a while, it seems to take over your personality. That might cause the thought of not wanting to get better, because we are unsure of who we even are without our illness, but that is something we will discover during recovery. In the end all our efforts will be worth it.

CoachCicely39
November 22nd, 2017 11:21am

Very normal. Especially if what you are not wanting to get better from is giving you a whole lot of pleasure and meeting 4 or more of your 6 human needs. Our subconsciuos minds love pleasure and staying in their comfort zones. Anything that is a change from comfort is a red flag for danger. And you will start to meet some resistance from your subconscious mind, signalling danger.

Anonymous
November 18th, 2017 6:56pm

Getting healthy takes a lot of time and effort. You should want to get better as a first step. Do it for your self!

majesticYellow
November 18th, 2017 4:56pm

No, because if you don't want to get better than you'll feel even worse. It's not bad to ask for help or to get better you just have to want it

Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 1:41pm

I'd say it's normal to not want to change, so if you are in case sick, then yes, this could be considered normal. But it is also normal for people to want to change too.

Ky23
November 11th, 2017 2:24am

I think this feeling is completely valid, but not healthy. I think sometimes we get so used to feeling a certain way and living a certain way due to that feeling. Having the feeling of not wanting to get better is sort of like a crutch. It seems easier to keep using the crutch, even when you know you've healed.

heartfeltTouch
November 10th, 2017 6:39pm

It is. It's often scary to get better maybe because you might not be used to the feeling of wellbeing. Taking a step out from your darkness means you're getting out of something you're used to, your comfort zone. That can be very scary and challenging.

SarahTheCarer
November 9th, 2017 10:01am

It can be sometimes, yes. It can also be a sign that you feel there is no way to get better - but there is! Remember if you want to talk to someone there are active listeners at all time waiting to have a chat.

Beazalbee
November 2nd, 2017 6:52pm

This is different for everybody of course but I have felt this way before, personally it feels easier to let emotions take over because making a conscious decision to go into recovery is a big leap of faith in yourself. It's an uphill battle because if you lose focus in recovering yourself sometimes you can fall further into depression than before, so subconsciously we choose to adapt with our depression and welcome it rather than fight it.

sophieishere
November 1st, 2017 4:18pm

Yes. Not wanting to get better is a part of recovery itself. You will give up all willpower to get better but going through this will make you come to terms that recovery is worth it and you will want to achieve this. Recovery is a rocky road and it will be a rollercoaster at times. It is not impossible. It will happen. Believe in yourself.

kindRose56
October 13th, 2017 5:18pm

From my experience, getting better requires work and sometimes it can be hard to continue to keep moving forward. It can also be scary to think about the future because we never really know what is going to happen. Sometimes we also make mistakes. We all have different coping methods, but some can be harmful then helpful in the end. It is okay to be sad sometimes, or to take some time to process something, but in the end I have found that it is best to keep pushing though. That has made me the person I am today, and I am so excited about where I am in my life at the moment.

OpenedEyes
September 29th, 2017 6:55pm

It's definitely normal but isn't the best idea. After some time of getting used to a certain lifestyle or mindest it becomes familiar, "safe" or easy. It's understand that you would choose something you know, something that feels safe, rather than trying to get betting and getting into new things or trying change. Sometimes staying in the safe zone is a poor choice regarding to how successful or happy you can truly be. Really think about, it's definitely up to you but sometimes what scares you the most is probably the better decision.

Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:58pm

Sometimes, the sorrows we live with become such a huge part of us that it becomes our identity of who we are. Maybe you may have other reason to feel that way, but it is up to you about what you feel is normal or not.

Anonymous
September 1st, 2017 5:16am

Absolutely. Depression weighs you down with this hopeless feeling, and getting better seems like it might only make things worse. Oftentimes, the knowledge that getting better will involve sorting through and acknowledging these upsetting feelings scares us, because then everything is real. The journey may seem daunting, but the end result is so worth it.

Anonymous
August 30th, 2017 1:46pm

Yes, it is. Specially when you have felt bad for a long time. You get used to feeling down and can get scared of feeling better/differently because it's like you have forgotten how it feels like. You can be scared of not knowing how to handle it. So continuing to feel bad starts to seem like the better option, even though it isn't.

VanessaGraceStory
August 11th, 2017 9:21pm

Well it can be, if people are pushing you to get better then that can be a reason why you wouldn't want to as well. If that's not the reason then it may be you don't see it's the right time. Getting better starts within yourself, only you can help yourself more than anyone else and why you may ask? because you know yourself best.

Anonymous
July 20th, 2017 2:07pm

Sadness can be addicting. It drives away other nuanced emotions, takes away the desire to change or do better, and if it is a sadness that has been endured for a long time it can almost become a sense of self. While it isn't good, it is something that happens. But it still needs to be overcome.

Anonymous
July 13th, 2017 5:14pm

Yes, it's normal. Sometimes when a person has been suffering for so long, their suffering becomes a part of them. That suffering is all that that person knows - in fact sometimes they think that they have become their disease. The suffering has gone on for so long that the person doesn't even know who they would be without it. It's understandable to fear getting better.

Anonymous
July 7th, 2017 2:58am

This kind of state is when serious of unfortunate events happened in a persons life, he starts to think it is okay not to get better whenever I tries, something bad happens. This state of mind restricts change, of course positive. This stickness to one place will eventually leave him at the end of the race of success and he'll eventually choose to suicide. So it's not normal, we should keep on trying to get better from our what we were nano seconds and we'll fine us in the most successful persons ever.

Ephie
June 15th, 2017 12:56pm

Yes, I think it is. Sometimes when you've felt a certain way for so long it's easy to not want things to change. You're used to a routine and your comfortable even. Getting better means that you'll have to face that thing you've been putting off and that will be hard. Change is a big thing, especially if you've felt the same way for so long. It's bound to be scary but you will eventually be able to find the courage.

TheRedSelkie
June 10th, 2017 8:32pm

When you have been unwell for a while, sometimes you grow accustomed to it and it becomes normal for them. Even if they do not wish to get better, it should still be encouraged. Not forced.

Anonymous
June 9th, 2017 4:12pm

It is absolutely normal. Wanting to get better requires a big change in a persons life. Sometimes you cannot be ready for a big change and you need time to digest the thought of changing. When you have been ill for a while the thought of change can feel too uncomfortable and far out of reach. In those kind of situations it is normal not to want to get better.

Anonymous
May 30th, 2017 6:56pm

Sometimes. Having experienced this feeling, sometimes we do feel that we want to be sad, that we want to be hurt, that we want to feel a little pain. Sometimes I think we feel we want to be hurt to have attention, to get that feeling of love and comfort again in your life. Sometimes, I personally believe that feeling the emotion of not wanting to get better actually may he good. Because in a way, feeling that mean you feel something, rather than just being empty, hollow, and untouched. Its what makes you human in some sense. It'll be alright, to whoever is reading this. Just remember, stars can't shine without the darkness. ^_^

tab20z
May 25th, 2017 10:47pm

It can be common. When your life has been defined by your struggle with a difficulty (whether it be mental illness such as depression, bipolar, etc. or a physical illness) it can begin to become "comfortable". Not comfortable in the sense that there is no pain, but you are familiar with the pain, and know it well. As such, "getting well" may involve new pain, and this time (with the illness or condition managed) there is no one to blame but yourself. These are normal thoughts that are common in many people, often people who have been dealing with pain for a long time. They need to be fought, and it is hard, but its part of recovery. Recovery is not a straight upward trajectory, its instead going up and down many times before you reach the goal.

Freedangel
May 16th, 2017 4:10am

Sometimes it certainly seems easier to stay down instead of getting back up. This question is a bit vague, but I'm speculating that it might pertain to depression. I understand it can be exhausting fighting it all. It seems like a spiral that just keeps going down. Unfortunately, depression can act as a blinder to all that's good in the world. Suddenly our friends fade away and are dismissed as merely tolerating us or secretly despising us. Family may suddenly seem to not care at all or never be capable of understanding. It's entirely normal to want to just give up because fighting depression can seem like a worthless battle. But it's hard to see the sun when you've dug your own grave. It's hard to see any good when you're just looking at the bad. With that in mind, it's definitely normal to not want to get better. But you can't let it stop you.

crispNight40
May 12th, 2017 5:02am

Sadness is very sad, of course, but it is also very comfortable. There is a certain appeal to wrapping yourself in your depression or mania or whatever else because it is such an ever-present companion. The important thing to realize is that you aren't truly comfortable in whatever state you are in, and you do want to "get better" very much. What you are actually comfortable with is the side effects of whatever state you are in, whether it is being out and about, not worrying about consequences, or being reflective and introspective. Find a way to nuture the healthy aspects of yourself apart from whatever self destructive elements. If you are alone and depressed, try enjoying a book or reflecting on the positive things in your life. If you can't stop abusing a substance, try having fun in other ways. Getting better doesn't mean your life is over, it just means you need to find new ways to enjoy it. In the long run, you'll get even more out of life once you realize this.

Anonymous
May 3rd, 2017 2:15am

It's very normal. I think it can be really frustrating for others to hear that but it is very understandable. Sometimes we become complacent with where we're at and it can be difficult to change, and that can be for a variety of reasons.

Anonymous
April 27th, 2017 5:46pm

No, it isn't normal to not want to get better. It is a sign that you have given up on getting better. Imagine a cancer patient, just wanting to die rather than live and do all the things that are wonderful. All those will be gone just because we got affected by a disease (not wanting to get better). It's like giving up on something you truly have passion for, it's so unsightly to see, seeing the one you love die. It's better to be better than to die with a plague that changed your life.