Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal to not want to get better?

321 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 4:18am
Is it normal to not want to get better?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
September 10th, 2016 8:22am
Yes, it's completely normal. When we have been depressed for a long time, we become tired and hopeless. Depression is what we know, a place that's there for us. If we gave up on it, we would have to become totally different people. Feeling down can function as an emotional security blanket. Not feeling depressed means that you will have to feel something different. It is normal to fear the unknown. All people do. It's our nature.
September 11th, 2016 12:04am
Yes and no. it depends on how you see yourself. if you see you are too good to be better or you feel no one is better than you, it is called egotism. And if you feel depressed and tried everything then gave up on trying to be better, then like most people, yes, it is a phase of depression.
September 11th, 2016 10:21pm
Yes. In my past experiences I have had the fear that if I get better then I will have nothing to do and I was scared to get better because if I did, everything I knew would be gone and I didn't know how to react or cope with that. But then I thought to myself, what if....
September 19th, 2016 3:57pm
Maybe. Not everyone feels a constant drive to improve, but having at least some kind of motivation every now and then is healthy. After all, life in which one would never become better at anything and not take up anything new would be quite the boring life to lead, wouldn't it be?
September 22nd, 2016 9:52pm
Sometimes the thought of 'getting better' can be scary.. Plus everyone is different. You decide what normal is.
September 24th, 2016 3:45am
I think normal because when you don't get better, you obtain care and concern most times and so it makes you feel loved. However, it wouldn't be normal if you go to the extreme sense to not get better.
September 24th, 2016 4:23pm
yes only if you yourself is satisfied with the place and situation you are surrounded with. its fine than.
September 24th, 2016 5:45pm
May be u have achieved everything u want or u have no reason or motivation to get better. .....................
September 29th, 2016 4:42pm
I think this is more common than people realise. Sometimes there is a fear of change. If someone has been feeling a certain way for a long period of time then it might be hard to know what it might feel like to be better. That can be a scary proposition. In some ways it is 'easier' not to get better, because at least you know what that is about. Sometimes getting better means stepping into the unknown.
September 30th, 2016 7:13am
No it is not normal. It means "something" or "someone" or "some changes in your life" is bothering you....
October 6th, 2016 1:46am
I guess it's normal to want to stay in a given state of mind, i think we as human beings try to avoid change if possible, especially if it's a big change like therapy, meds, the whole process. But i'm sure that if you really gave it a try you won't regret it afterwards.
October 14th, 2016 4:00pm
It is very normal. You're so used to feeling the way you do that "getting better" doesn't sound like such a great idea.
October 14th, 2016 9:49pm
Yes, totally normal. You don't want to get better because you know it will be hard or because yoi kind of like the feeling of being bad.
October 16th, 2016 10:12pm
People are sometimes comfortable with what they are used to, even if what they are used to is not helpful to them. Sometimes it can be scary to leave your comfort zone even if it means getting better.
October 16th, 2016 10:49pm
Normal doesn't really exist but I know a lot of people (including myself) who have been where you are. Getting better is a lot of work and some just aren't ready for it yet.
October 19th, 2016 11:02am
Pessimism will always affect all aspects of our lives, so it might occur to some to "not want to get better". However, as long as there's a will eventually, there's a way.
October 20th, 2016 12:56am
Sometimes we find ourselves getting used to the way things are, and not wanting to change. This may be a form of anxiety, and a fear of change.. Or it may be that we don't want to let go of whatever the emotions we're experiencing remind us of. I hope that this helps, and that you get things sorted out.
October 21st, 2016 3:02am
Yes. Recovery means going through hard things and changing lots of aspects. That can lead to fear.
October 21st, 2016 9:50am
Sometimes being ill, feeling sad or in pain is what we're used to; and what we get used to can become normal for us and feel reassuringly predictable. Other times our mood can be so low that it is difficult to even want to do anything - even if that means recovery. Getting better can be great but it's scary, it pushes us out of our comfort zone and forces us to confront our darkest thoughts and deepest fears. So yes, it's perfectly normal to feel this way. Remember that although getting better might seem like an impossibly tough trek it is a route of tiny little steps with lots of benches and pit-stops along the way, each giving a much nicer view than the last.
October 22nd, 2016 7:53pm
Yes I understand how you feel. In my point of view I'm scared to get better in fear that I'll just get worst
October 27th, 2016 3:29pm
Yes. To get better means making certain changes in our lives and sometimes that can take a lot of effort. Sometimes that may be scary, especially when we've struggled for such a long time that our struggles have become our comfort and what we are used to. Maybe it would help to jot down the reasons why you don't want to get better so you understand them better. And see how those reasons might not hold true. And ask yourself, what are the cons to being better and stronger? Jot down also the reasons you want to get better and motivate yourself with those. Maybe there are things you want to do, even small things, that you might not be able to if you don't work to get better. Also take small steps to get better, don't think you have to do it all at once. With little baby steps getting better would not feel so overwhelming
October 28th, 2016 3:27pm
In my opinion, there is no such thing as normal. That would imply there is something wrong if you do not conform to typical values, which there isn't. However, it can be damaging to yourself to not want to get better. It can manifest in ways to keep yourself from recovering and this is a form of self harm. If you are having concerns about this I suggest you speak to a listener and if that doesn't help perhaps seek professional advice because that way you can help yourself stop feeling this way and thus aid your own recovery.
November 2nd, 2016 10:56pm
Yes, after feeling a certain way for so long those emotions become our norm and we slip into a routine that we are scared to break due to fear of change and what the future may hold. Accepting that getting better is the best thing to do mentally is the first step into getting a healthier mind and lifestyle!
November 3rd, 2016 2:01am
It can be! A lot of people are used to feeling a certain way, and change from that can be terrifying. If , you're used to feeling depressed, anxious, etc. then it can become a comfortable feeling, and therefore you might not want to get better because it's something new and scary.
November 3rd, 2016 10:09pm
It is normal, often times the hardest part of getting better is finding the need to get better and making it happen.
November 4th, 2016 11:30pm
It's more common than you might think. This lack of desire often, though not always, originates from the feeling that you shouldn't be happy and healthy, possibly because you feel you don't deserve it. From experience I can say that it might make you feel alienated from other struggling people, as if you are somehow not as deserving of your current mental situation as they are. This is not true. It's not an uncommon feeling, and it doesn't make you less deserving in any way, if that is what you feel. It's just another manifestation of your mental health.
November 5th, 2016 5:48am
Well, what exactly is the definition of normal. To be very frank, there is no normal, there is only what is common and what is not. And there are so many people that think getting better will only make it worse, that this is where they are and where they should say, but, from personal experience I know that if you just talk it out and care for yourself, you will let go and allow yourself to get better. And it's so much happier in this place. However, that is a decision you must make for yourself and people here will always be supporting you no matter what decision you make.
November 11th, 2016 8:17pm
it's the same as ACCEPTING FAILURE .. which doesn't really sound nice does it ?! you may try to accept the fact that if you don't wanna get better it means that you wanna just stay the same which is boring and deadly :) just go ahead do a slight change in your life and when you get a slight thrill because you became a bit more successful you will want more ! and even more :) that will help you :)
November 30th, 2016 1:21am
It is normal. Being depressed for a long time can make you feel a lot of pain, yet you may not want to reach out because it's hard to change or it has become normal for you. Sometimes you may also feel like you deserve to feel that way. It is best in these situations to speak to a counselor or therapist.
December 8th, 2016 12:26am
In some cases yes.. When you are suffering from a mental illness, i.e. depression bipolar etc it can cloud your judgement and make you believe you don't deserve to get better. But please know you absolutely deserve to be healthy and happy again.