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Why do depressed people push loved ones away?

375 Answers
Last Updated: 05/15/2022 at 12:03pm
Why do depressed people push loved ones away?
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Top Rated Answers
BatWings89
December 30th, 2015 8:45pm
People who are depressed sometimes don't feel worthy of affection and love or they just do not have the energy for human interactions and don't want to disappoint, make life easier for others by cutting themselves out. That is an all or nothing kind of thinking, that also is taking away the possibility for loved ones to choose for themselves who are worthy of their time. Often people think that by cutting themselves off they make life of their loved ones easier. This is not the case, because often the loved ones worry. Also it can hinder healing for the depressed person, since they are cutting themselves off important ressources to be able to heal/get better.
adorableKiwi50
December 30th, 2015 10:56pm
I went through depression at one point my reason was because i didnt want to talk and i was too upset
Nanimono
December 31st, 2015 2:02am
Because they believe that their loved ones wouldn't understand and they don't want to end up being a burden to them, so they choose to be alone.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2015 3:24am
Depressed people normally push away loved ones because they want to be alone in their suffering and don't want to hurt anyone else
Audreyloo02
December 31st, 2015 5:30am
They put walls up because they don't want to be hurt again. Especially by loved ones.
gentleDreamer72
December 31st, 2015 10:25am
Often, people who are depressed suffer from an incredibly low self-esteem. They may have negative thoughts telling them that they do not deserve the love and care of their friends and family, or that they are nothing but a burden to their loved ones. Depression also depletes people's energy and motivation. People who are struggling with depression may feel too exhausted and drained to be able to spend time with friends and family.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2015 12:37pm
Many people feel that the reason they're depressed is their own fault even though it's not. And they tend to feel like no one will understand or be able to help.
Maddiejb202
December 31st, 2015 8:33pm
They don't want to hurt there family. They feel that if they push them away then the family member won't be hurt.
SaraMichelle
December 31st, 2015 9:14pm
Sometimes we feel as if we don't deserve things like love, help, food, or just anything nice. In the moment of our depression we think really bad thoughts about our selves and it makes you act like you don't deserve these things that could really help you.
exquisiteCandy28
December 31st, 2015 11:07pm
they are afraid of getting their heart broken again the fear of it happening just overcomes you and it takes over
Anonymous
December 31st, 2015 11:22pm
It's often unintended, but they often feel like a burden. They don't feel like anyone can help them.
naturalbeauty16
January 1st, 2016 12:23am
They push people away because they don't want to hurt you. Also, they push people away so that they can be alone and concentrate on not having to seem or fake being happy.
WaitingforChange100
January 1st, 2016 4:28pm
Because they are sad,they are so deeply sad. They can't find joy in anything.And it hurts. it hurts so much inside you can't think about anything else. and you just want to talk about it. and talk and talk and talk and talk, and they are afraid they will be annoying... and they are afraid their loved ones will push them away first... Sometimes though depressed people don't wanna do anything. they don't wanna talk. They want to be consumed by their sadness. because that's how they know to be... and not everyone can understand that.
Putere
January 1st, 2016 6:39pm
Speaking from myself, I pushed people away because I was afraid I would be judged, or they wouldn't understand.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2016 12:39pm
Their negative self talk is a part of making them feel unworthy around others. Depressed people feel so alone and sad that they actually stop thinking about their loved ones and push them away, they just feel the need to get away from people
shiningPanda25
January 3rd, 2016 7:39am
For fear of appearing so broken. For fear of being dismissed as silly. For fear of not being understood.
healingParadise90
January 3rd, 2016 4:16pm
Because they cant handle the feeling of love vs needing love. Conflict of not wanting ppl to know vs calling out for help
igetcha
January 6th, 2016 12:25am
Sometimes it's because being around people who don't understand can be exhausting. Other times it can be because we feel the need to act happy so we don't spread our negative vibes. 1 thing I've noticed though is even 2 sad people usually feel better meeting up than being alone. A change of scenery & meeting people can break patterns of negative thoughts that take over when you're alone. I have friends who don't want to meet up but feel better once we do.
AmityAllecra19
January 6th, 2016 8:44pm
Usually because we feel like we are a burden. Its always painful to see everyone around you being so happy and lively, like everything is in color yet when it comes to you everything is suddenly gray and bleak. Its worse when you realize your loved sometimes have to act like they are walking on egg shells around you and you think start to "maybe if I distanced myself they wouldn't get hurt, they can live their lives without any burden from me". In a depressive mindset we think its the best decision but we aren't seeing the full picture, we aren't seeing that the reality is we're hurting them as much as ourselves
onedirection1213
January 8th, 2016 1:07am
because they just probably just want to be alone for a while and maybe the love ones are making i worse by trying to help them.
serenitynow04
January 8th, 2016 3:12pm
I think when people are depressed we feel like no one understands, can help, or it requires too much effort to be around someone else.
immortality
January 8th, 2016 5:32pm
Because they need to know someone cares.Yes, they do feel the need to be alone and cry but they also want the others to try and help them better than they did before.Try and understand them, show them that they are important.
Anonymous
January 8th, 2016 7:59pm
Because they feel that they are sparing their loved ones from their depression. Your first instinct is to just deal with it alone, which of course, can make it worse. Allow those in your life to get close to you and help you.
PsyHounds
January 8th, 2016 8:59pm
I feel like people push other away when in that state because they want to be able to figure it out on their own. Sometimes they want to stop others from seeing them in that state, from shame or fear or maybe even worry for their lived ones reactions. I think it's a very painful thing to be alone when depression takes over, but being in that state and having people around you is a different kind of pain and worry that mixes in. We all need help at one point, but part of the path has to be walked alone, sometimes we need to realize ourselves that we need to reach out and ask for help. Until we come to that moment, no amount of outside help can make it to us. Patience is the most important thing, and not giving up until they do take our helping hand is the best we can do.
McIntosh92
January 8th, 2016 9:17pm
It is never intentional. It is something that is not understood nor is it meant to be from those who don't suffer for it. They will except your love if you simply show it without taking it personally. They usually will blame themselves before anyone else.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2016 6:37pm
Some wouldn't want their saddness and problems to affect other people's life and happiness. Forgetting that by pushing them away , they hurt the people that love them and themselves even more.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2016 12:25am
It is simple in my opinion, Depressive people do not love themselves. It is clearly that a person who doesn„t love himself cannot understand how others love him
MozLovesYah
January 10th, 2016 6:54am
Because they think that their loved ones dont understand what they are going through and in that case, they are wrong!
Anonymous
January 10th, 2016 12:05pm
I dont know that they always do. Some cling to loved ones but many do push them away. I think the reasons very much depend on the person but some common ones are: that they want to hide how they are feeling inside from someone they care about; that they dont feel they themselves deserve to be loved; that the depression makes any kind of social contact a huge effort and that their energy levels may be very low.
Itwillallbeokayhun
January 10th, 2016 7:36pm
People suffering with depression tend to push people away for many reasons. It may be they feel they don't deserve others presence, it may be that they don't expect to be around very long and want to spare others the heartache. It often simply is the fact that they lack the motivation to do anything, they want to be alone, and to sleep all day due to the lack of dopamine.