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How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 03/26/2023 at 8:47am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 2:43pm
If possible, stop being around them / block them on whatsapp etc.. Being around people that don't care about your feelings and hurt you doesn't do you any good.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 7:56pm
Generally we can control our attitudes towards people but most of the times we don't get things back the same way. Sometimes we get hurt , intentionally or not, by people we care about. In that case, the first step to take would be to try Calmly and Smoothly raising the issue with them. Do not confront them at first as it can just get things worst and get them to be defensive. If after multiple trials, talking calmly does not improve the things. Consider your relationship with them again and answer to questions such as: How important are they in my life? parents, close friends, ... How would it affect my life if I did not have to deal them any longer? Ask yourself those kind of questions, and if you feel like you will feel better without them. Just explain them a last time how you feel about the situation and how you won't be able to support it any longer. Then just give yourself a break from them and hopefully if they care about you they will changer their behavior and otherwise, you will not have to be hurt any longer.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 3:54am
Don't get too close to them and don't share too much information, because sharing too much information like secrets and little things about you can often lead them closer to which they can easily hurt you. ( I don't know how to exactly put it into words so I did my best. )
thenormalstate
December 9th, 2016 1:56am
A person who genuinely does not care for your feelings either misunderstands them and can be persuaded to understand, or they are potentially toxic to your well-being. Communication is key. If you feel safe enough, start the conversation. If their response isn't what you need, consider moving on from this relationship for your own emotional health.
Bella20
August 14th, 2015 2:50pm
I would just sort of review if it is worth it to let that person keep doing it. Is it really worth my happiness? Do I really want to continue to live in pain just to keep from losing that person? My answers would be no. Because I want to be happy and not be in pain. And if they get upset, then oh well. They can deal with it. But I want to be happy and my happiness is worth more than my distress. And I would pick happiness over that someone every time.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2017 2:50pm
Remember that you don't have to have anyone in your life that doesn't care about you. I suggest talking to them and and telling them you don't feel like you're cared about in the relationship.
MathewLutzMA
April 8th, 2017 1:41am
If they don't care about your feeling the best way to make them stop is to avoid them altogether, they aren't worth your time or effort.
marvelousBlossom86
March 16th, 2017 6:57am
Assert to them how they are hurting you. If they refuse to listen, then it is up to you whether to stop associating with that person. You deserve to be with people who care about your feelings. Your feelings are valid. Let no one tell you otherwise.
Toeknee
July 15th, 2015 6:04pm
Sometimes creating space from somone who hurts you could help the situation. you would no longer be their punching bag
TheRemnantOfTheSea
December 8th, 2017 6:39am
Sometimes the only thing you can do can feel like the hardest thing to do, and that's to simply remove that person from your life. It's easier said than done, and losing someone is never easy, but if someone doesn't care about your feelings and continuously hurts you, you owe it to yourself to demand better of people. If the person can't respect you and your feelings, you truly don't need them. It may take time, but it's sometimes the only way to truly get away from abuse.
mthilliard
November 9th, 2017 4:29pm
You need to stop caring. You can't control what they think. It is in your best interest to find people that care about you and if they don't, move on.
caringJ86
September 22nd, 2017 1:46pm
The best way to stop some one from hurting your feelings is to stop giving them that much of importance. When we give importance to someone the hold that power over you. It will hurt if the feelings are not reciprocated. So stop giving them priority over other things in your life.
prophetmonr0e
July 25th, 2015 8:15pm
Forgiveness is the best medicine for a hurt feeling. Especially when both parties can sit and talk like grown-ups. But when one side doesn't care how much the other hurts despite knowing what he's doing is hurtful, you might as well limit your contact with the other party.
incrediblePurple91
January 8th, 2016 11:50am
The best thing to do in these types of situations is to remove yourself from them. If you notice that you are surrounded by toxic people, get yourself out of the situation! If someone takes time to put you down, they are below you and not worth your time.
Moonshade
August 2nd, 2015 6:15pm
If I believe someone doesn't care about my feelings, I try to detach with love. I am learning to trust those who are trustworthy. I can communicate with them respectfully no matter how they behave. I can try to understand their behaviour without being hurt. I value myself to not remain in a harmful situation if someone is being hurtful. I try to keep in mind that we are all learning and that people often don't intent to hurt my feelings.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:11am
Lose communication with them. As hard as it may be, losing any source of connection with them will lessen the amount of pain they might cause you. It will also slowly help you move apart from them.
Alyssaaaaa
January 17th, 2016 3:51pm
You can't really control another person, but you can control how you take what they do, and how much of it you will let get to you. I think it's all about how you respond to their actions, and also your perspective on it. If they don't care about your feelings, then you shouldn't care about their opinion or what they think about you as well. If they are hurting you physically, or if you are experiencing verbal or physical abuse, seek help. You do not deserve to be treated that way.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:49pm
Get away from them. If some people are hurting you, get away, don't even think about it twice. When a door is closed, a window gets opened
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 5:44am
What you need to do is remove that person completely from your lives. Sometimes, you're in a situation where that is not possible, so you need to tell that person that you don't want to be friends with them or associate with them, if they ignore you you need to alert your parents or whoever is in charge and make them aware of the situation
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 12:04am
If this happened to me, I would cut all ties with them. I could not accept someone hurting me that way.
Catt3456
January 9th, 2016 9:59pm
If someone doesnt care about your feelings then you shoulndt be with them in the first place, they're not worth it, you have a lot of love to give and receive, dont lose your time with people that dont know how to appreciate that
Anonymous
January 9th, 2016 7:30am
If someone is hurting me then I will ignore them completely and move on in my life as they do not care about my feelings. I don't have to care it either.
SarahLouise96
August 31st, 2015 8:29pm
You have to work towards realising you are worth more than this person, you need to work towards a better life for you which will include leaving those who hurt you behind because e you are of most importance in your life
Anonymous
January 25th, 2017 7:29pm
I think the best solution to this problem is to address it first, tell them openly how their actions are affecting you, if they continue the best thing is to ignore them.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2015 5:29pm
Sometimes you just can explain people that their actions hurt you so you try to hurt yourself. You can't actually stop someone from doing that, but you can stop yourself from communication with them.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2015 11:03am
You can talk to them straight up, or talk to an adult if they are really harassing you. You shouldn't be under attack at any time, you deserve to be happy.
AppleGreen7098
September 30th, 2015 5:16pm
I totally can relate to you right now... I call her my friend but she just gives me cold treatment without any reason at all, ignores me like I don't exist and it makes me think the worst about myself. But then, after realizing that I don't deserve that kind of treatment from her, I just thought to hell with it I have my own life to live and I won't waste it by dwelling on why she's doing it. Just let them be and let them realize what they are going to lose. Just live your life the way to want it to be. Don't push yourself to them cause there are always people out there ready to take you just who you are without hesitations.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 12:33pm
You need to get away from them. You should not be near someone who wants you to feel bad and should never reply to them or even pay attention to them, I know thats hard but its the best you can do.
enlightenedSummer73
August 12th, 2015 11:42am
Always try to tell them how their behaviour is making you feel....then if they persist im afraid distancing yoursself so that you limit their ability to hurt you would be my advice. Believe in yourself.x
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2015 6:00pm
you can stop someone else from hurting you by ignoring their bad attitude and by believing that what that someone is doing is not the reality