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Six years ago, I signed up to be a Listener here on Cups. Most of the time, I was facilitating Sharing Circles, the place where everyone is equal, and the place that is most in line with my thinking that every participant has something to contribute to the therapeutic mix. I researched and am an avid fan of this sort of group therapy, especially since the origins of this kind of group passing a talking stick originated from Indigenous Peoples and forms a powerful spiritual ancient connection to this sort of inner and also community work.
When Sharing Circles are at their finest, when people stay for a whole session of an hour to share as well as to participate in supporting others as best we can, Sharing Circles can be magical and transformative in their effect on individuals and on the collective of those who participate. For those of you truly interested in group work, “The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy,” by Irv Yalom (6th edition) is an excellent text for a start. I attempted to start a thread discussing this book here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/SharingCircles_2066/BookDiscussionTheTheoryandPracticeofGroupPsychotherapyYalomandLeszcz_323877/ [https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/SharingCircles_2066/BookDiscussionTheTheoryandPracticeofGroupPsychotherapyYalomandLeszcz_323877/]
I also take on some “needs reply” requests, as I feel able to respond. “Needs reply” seems to me the closest to people arriving at their most vulnerable. You are asking for help, but you have no idea who will answer. It’s my goal when responding to these pleas, to deliver a “soft place to land,” with directions to find other resources on 7 Cups or outside 7 Cups, if that is what is needed. I don’t report my participation as I’m not caring so much about cheers and leaderboards, but it’s something I do, sometimes up to five or so replies a day and sometimes zero.
These two places seem to me like the most interesting places on 7 Cups. The thing I find most remarkable about 7 Cups is that there is a corner, place, or job (unpaid of course) for everyone.
I’ve participated in over two thousand group support sessions! That’s an average of over 333 groups a year! Wowzer! You can see that on my profile. Don’t worry! I too was surprised at that number. Snuck up on me. Proud of myself. I have no idea what this means, since yesterday I did an experiment, the number was at two thousand and two, a big enough number. Then I hosted two hours, and it went to 2012, so how this participation is counted is beyond me! Embrace all the numbers! Suffice it to say, I have “done time” on Cups. I can open and shut rooms! I can gently remind you of guidelines or even delete your message if you’re way outside guidelines. Kind of like church, when a Babushka threw me out for wearing jeans. That church had a dress code. Thankfully, my current church is a bit more liberal when it comes to how we dress.
As far as what I believe as a Listener, my values align closely with Cups expectations. I believe in our internal impetus to improve ourselves, to grow and flourish based on our wellspring of wisdom we can nurture through healthy living. Something I read a long time ago was, “Where there is poison, there is antidote. To heal, turn in, turn in.” Each of us contains a world within us, a fascinating place with many possibilities. Let’s choose wisely where we decide to focus!
Since I have studied psychology a little bit and the field of education a lot, I lend the perspective of someone who is more in the Vanaprastha (retirement/hermit stage, approximate age 50-75), where I am gradually withdrawing from material life and social/professional responsibilities and obligations. While I still run a business, I spend most of my time writing and creating, as well as tending to nature.
I feel like my job here on Cups right now is to guide the next generation and focus on spirituality. I will probably continue to pick up hosting a session of Sharing Circles once or maybe twice per month. I may also visit some of the rooms as I am able. I will probably also try to answer some of the pleas that pop up on the “needs-reply” channel, health permitting. Yesterday at church, I listened to a most excellent sermon on the topic of “gratitude.” This restored my waning sense of the importance of noticing what is around us, appreciating it, and being more mindful of the bounty at our fingertips, so maybe I will open and host a Gratitude group for those who are interested. Otherwise, my participation is limited, and that’s ok.
What I encourage youth (and even elders, for that matter) of today to do, is to spend lots of time away, away, away from electronics and devices, and yes, even platforms such as 7 Cups. Our brains are so polluted with all the electronic garbage that is assailing us daily. The false pressure to succeed materially is fostered by inflated and artificial needs, mostly. We learn to ignore survival needs, those of sustenance with whole foods, surrounding ourselves with calming sounds and physical routines that tire us out naturally so we can sleep deeply and interact with others fully.
I just heard yesterday of something called “heuristic homeostasis.” It was tied to a verse and message (church sermon: the parable of the paralytic (John 5:1-15), but I researched it afterwards, and it turns out, it’s this absolutely fascinating (and capable) ability by humans to use “rules of thumb” or simplified mental and biological shortcuts by organisms to maintain stable internal conditions (homeostasis), in complex, unpredictable environments. That’s all of us, isn’t it? The vibes created by excessive materialism and the bombardment of the capitalist patriarchal military industrial complex to compete and destroy rather than create, is an “insult to the soul in a petri dish” that spawns much of the mental illness and stress that I see swirling around me today.
Reading a book in its entirety, savoring the words and thought that were put into it, closing my eyes and listening to the sounds around me, these are a couple of the things for which I give gratitude.
In the end, what seems to matter most to me is a few good friends. My work is all towards noticing the little things, while embracing the really big thing of trying to create peace in the world. Slowing down is a value of mine, though when I’m focused, I am quite capable of moving quickly towards my goal.
I spend lots of time in my garden, tending wildflowers, and my rose garden, with its variety of roses: White Lies, Alfred Sisley, Pink and Bright Red. I love taking photos of blooming peonies, echinacea, impatiens, columbine and daisies. I photograph lichen, foxes, deer, chipmunks. I just put sprouts in (sweaty work) for growing my own food on our little piece of land: seven varieties of tomatoes, cucumbers, thyme, marjoram, basil, parsley, sweet red, yellow and orange bell peppers, arugula to follow. We let the dandelions on our land propagate so there are plenty of dandelion greens for the base of my morning salads. Right now, I’m typing this sitting outside and listening to the Robin Red Breast, Carolina Wrens, Red-bellied Woodpeckers, Carolina Chickadees and Tufted Titmice delivering a concert, just belting it out there for the whole world to hear.
Many times, I will just shut my computer and enjoy days without any outside electronic interference. Sometimes I will start by writing out: “This will be my peaceful day.” I’m one of those people who is capable of “living within a metaphor” or within the written word. This is one of the reasons I have enjoyed the “Way of the River” series authored by @GlennM.
I have (in the past) toyed with the idea of running a group, a sort of “club,” to read certain textbooks that I feel are helpful to the development of an inner core or strong sense of being, such as Yalom’s “Hour of the Heart.” I started a thread about this book here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/listenerjourney/SelfCareandFun_2246/ReviewanddiscussionofHouroftheHeartConnectingintheHereandNowbyIrvinDYalomandBenjaminYalomHarperCollinsPublisher2024_355577/ [https://www.7cups.com/forum/listenerjourney/SelfCareandFun_2246/ReviewanddiscussionofHouroftheHeartConnectingintheHereandNowbyIrvinDYalomandBenjaminYalomHarperCollinsPublisher2024_355577/]
I’m past the point of achievement for the sake of achievement. I do everything I do now for the sake of inner satisfaction. Anything that brings grace and beauty and nourishment to my life is the direction I will travel. There are many people here on 7 Cups. You carry with you the Essence of that which I seek, the authenticity to be yourself even in a world that insists on creating stereotypes. “No mud, no lotus.” Everything looks messy once. Get messy to bloom on.
I am grateful for all of you. I wish you all the best. I enjoyed sharing with you today.
Take care, be well. May peace be with you.
Love ♡ and Courage 💪🏽,
Calm Rosebud 🕊️🌹
P.S. No Artificial Intelligence was used to write this to you, save the artificial intelligence provided by google to look up certain terms so I could be sure to be accurate. Isn’t it more fascinating to read actual original thoughts? Haha, maybe not! The editor on my Word program kept wanting me to be more concise. Too bad! (I mean, have you met me? “Verbose” is my middle name: Calm Verbose Rosebud lol.)
P. P. S. Yet, since the ironies never cease, the illustration here was created with the use of Artificial Intelligence. I put a prompt into a free program called Canva, and it generated this. I found the sandals amusing as I would not be caught dead in flimsy shiny sandals such as these, but I didn’t have the energy to “school” the AI as to accuracy. Also, thanks to AI for the thickness of the hair, and the slim build, all inaccurate. I tend towards sturdy and muscular, being a person who lives and eats with gusto. I hope not too much water was wasted in creating this silly image.
