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How do I stop being judgemental?

302 Answers
Last Updated: 10/28/2020 at 12:18pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 15th, 2017 6:12am
Take a moment to consider who you're judging and why. Is it because of the person themselves or issues you might have had with them previously? Or is it what they're doing that you're judging? To stop acting a certain way, you must first understand the thought process behind it.
imbrandybuck
April 19th, 2017 9:37pm
Every time you think of a judgement, imagine how you would feel if someone was saying it about you. Everyone has a story, their own personal lives. At the end of the day we're all human, we're all struggling to get by and we're all a little different in doing that. One thing that helped me to stop being judgemental was to tell myself that I could be friends with anyone. I imagine that I have at least one interest in common with every single human on earth. It reminds me that no matter what, we are all together and it gives me a great joy to support and make people happy, rather than judge them for something that makes them happy or who they are.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2017 9:55pm
Remember that you can only ask from someone what they are able to give back. You can't ask them to be better if they are not able to. Put yourself in their place, and remember of your own mistakes, and that you are also not perfect.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2017 4:36pm
I believe judgement starts with yourself. Once I was able to stop criticizing myself and start accepting who I am, I noticed it reflect the way I treated those around me. A great place to start is complimenting at least one thing about the person, whether out loud or just mentally. You have to start somewhere.
Ginieboops
May 31st, 2017 12:19am
First, decide what's being judgemental and what's not; calling people out for being problematic is something we can all do and should do; don't lose that integrity of yourself. As for being judgemental yourself; catch yourself out and try to change your thoughts; think about why that person is doing what they're doing and that your thoughts don't matter. You can have your first thought be judgmental but then change your thought; the first thought is what society raised you to be, the second is who you are. Say any kind thing that comes to mind; someone's got amazing contour? They're good at English? Tell them. Make compliments and what you like about things or what you can understand about why the person is doing the thing; never under estimate empathy. Try to work out were the judgement comes from; perceptions of groups, standards you set for yourself, so on. If something about them isn't obviously a fashion choice and can't be fixed with a quick glance and smudge with a finger, don't tell them- it's probably a choice they've made themselves. Try to centre your compliments around talents, personality, style, hobbies, integrity, or hard work of someone (anything from makeup to school work) they have as appose to they're base appearances such as nose, body shape (that they don't clearly workout) and so on; it'll help you focus more on the person and not their appearances or wealth.
Tangie
May 31st, 2017 3:21pm
If you listen with your heart and not go on your feelings, makes it easier not to judge, because people need to feel we are here for them because we don't know what their situation is, and who are we to judge. We all have skeletons in the closet and shouldn't judge someone because they sin differently then we do, but show love and compassion regardless of what their circumstance and situation is.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2017 7:18am
Sometimes just making a conscious effort to try and see things from others point of view. Personally I do not struggle for money and know that my family would help me if I needed it. Not everyone has that and I struggled to understand why some people to lengths such as illegal activity to get money. I had to put myself in their shoes. They didn't have family that had the money to help or maybe they did but the family chose not to help them. Getting a job was hard, or anything else. Always try to see things from other peoples perspective.
blissfulRose17
June 4th, 2017 7:38am
Just listen and just concentrate on what the person is saying without focusing on anything else just be a good listener I will remember that you not the one with the situation to be judged upon and if you do not like to be judged yourself do not think the other person wants to be judged as well treat the person like you would want to be treated
GenuineRachel
June 24th, 2017 1:08pm
Start realising that everyone underneath are all the same, no one deserves to be judged, everyone walks the same planet, the majority of people see the same thing and feel the same feelings. We are all human when it comes down to it
Anonymous
June 28th, 2017 6:04am
By remembering that each one of us is going through some sort of problem in life. No one has the perfect life without any kind of difficulty.
nerdtimes10
July 12th, 2017 12:15am
A person's first thought or reaction does not define them. It's what comes after. When you think something judgmental, try putting yourself in their shoes.
Maddlyyy
July 13th, 2017 7:48am
Place yourself in other people's shoes. Think and imagine how they would feel in this situation and understand they are doing their best despite their circumstances.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2017 5:47pm
In our society and culture, judgement has been practiced and taught. It's very hard to get past being judgemental, but it is possible. When you find yourself consciously or unconsciously making a judgment, try to put yourself in their shoes. Remind yourself that there is more than one way to be beautiful or smart or whatever it is that you're judging. Practice love instead of hate. Try to see the thing that you're judging in a new light. Search for good things instead of flaws.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2017 2:42pm
Before you judge. Think about what good it will do to you or the person you are judging or how it will benefit you. The answer will be always 'nothing'.
N0vaNobody
July 26th, 2017 8:29pm
The philosophical answer: put yourself in their shoes and keep in mind that we all have our differences, and that we must learn to overcome them. The hard truth? You can't. Even though we like to think ourselves superior, we are still humans, and it's in our nature to judge another's worth based on appearances; there is no fault in judging another for what they seem to be. However, there is a reason humans are seemingly separate from the rest of the animal kingdom: even though it is part of our chemical makeup to judge someone, we can choose to ignore those judgements. You don't have to forget them, and it doesn't matter whether you try and stop them--the things you choose to do despite the judgements you have are what's really important.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2017 9:31am
It's difficult to stop, once you're conditioned to notice things about people, but one way that I stopped is to realise that people are presenting what they're comfortable with, and it's none of my business whether that fits in with my life code or not. Also remember that we never really know a full picture, people are complex and there are levels to everything. Why unnecessarily impart additional negativity when it is not needed. To each their own.
seriously111
July 30th, 2017 3:28pm
Try and put yourself in the person's shoe you are trying to judge, what if something like that happened to you, what would you feel? Try and think that they may have a different side of the story and justify what they did.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 6:37pm
What I would like to point out is that it is basic human nature to form judgments about people subconsciously without even realizing it. The way to tackle this situation would be to remind yourself that there might be just a chance that the person is more than what you see and to avoid letting your judgments get in the way of knowing someone who might end up becoming a person you care about.
amiablePeace77
August 12th, 2017 7:47pm
it helps to stop being judgemental if we try to understand that others might be reacting in a certain way because they are struggling too with things like we might do and to accept that our standards are only valid for us, simply accepting we all have positive and negative sides.
gracefulLight67
September 2nd, 2017 4:38pm
Being judgmental is from ignorance of a situation or person . The only way to be less judgmental is to try to see things from different view points and with empathy .
Anonymous
September 16th, 2017 2:26am
The shortest and easiest answer I can give you is to remember that everyone is trying their best. It might not always seem like it, and maybe some days your best is better than their best, but we're all just trying to make it with whatever tools and energy we have at any given time.
adoredHug70
September 18th, 2017 12:34pm
You should look beyond the skin. You should value someone's soul instead of all their worldly characteristics. You should remember that all of us die the same and no one of us is superior to the other if you focus on caring about the personality of someone instead of other things.
SunnyKitten17
September 20th, 2017 12:21am
I don't think there's any way to just "stop" being judgemental. But one trick I'm using currently is to try and think of a good thing about every person I meet - and also, to catch myself when I judge them, out loud or in my head, and gently correct it to something nicer.
tjb28
October 5th, 2017 6:17pm
Think about how it would make you feel if someone was judging you How would you feel? How would you feel if someone judged your family member? Think about the reason why you judge others
brightFish45
October 14th, 2017 3:16am
Put yourself in their shoes, ask yourself would I want to be treated that way? Sometimes people don't choose to be who they are and they are given a bad hand in life. The only thing they need from you is kindness and understanding. Not your judgement calls or criticism . Please be kind and don't pass judgement . You may save someone's life
SympatheticRainbow
November 2nd, 2017 4:06pm
Being judgemental is something we all experience. To become someone who wants to support others; you must put these judgements aside and take a minute to visualise yourself as them. How would you feel in that situation? Along with considering the other individuals. It's natural to have prejudices and judgements about someone, it's a social thing we have been taught from an early age, but meeting more diverse people and understanding what makes them individuals is important to break the barriers. Under our backgrounds and everything we've come across in life; we are all still human beings.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2017 2:23am
To stop being something that you are not happy with about your self can be hard. But there is a saying that you might have heard of it goes like treat people how you would want to be treated. So when you find yourself being judgmental think how would you feel if someone was thinking these things about you. It will take some practice but it is for the best.
BubbleGumKissxoxo
November 11th, 2017 9:37pm
Show empathy, imagine yourself in their situation. Try to imagine what it is like to be at their viewpoint.
Rony7
November 18th, 2017 1:11am
You don't know what's going on in other people's lives. Maybe you should try to look at the situation from their view and ask yourself: "Would I like it if someone judged me and acted this way?" Everyone has their story, their problems. You should listen more, try to be more empathic and be nice.
chris333
November 22nd, 2017 7:07am
When you start thinking about what would you have done in their place makes you to give an better perception.